Top 6 Sex Positions For Women!

Sex positions for g-spot orgasm

If you are a woman that climaxes easily during sex count yourself lucky! Many women are not able to achieve an orgasm during penetrative sex unless they have their clitoris stimulated at the same time. A lot of people do not realise that clitoral stimulation is needed and often leave their partner orgasmless! Having sex and not orgasming can often make it feel more like a chore if they are not gaining anything from it.

The easiest way this problem can be solved is by communicating clearly what you really need before, during and after sex! Being honest and open with what you need will help your lover learn what stimulation you need to reach orgasm.

Step 1 – Work Out What Makes You Orgasm

The first thing you need to do is figure out the best way to reach orgasm on your own. Take some time to yourself to masturbation. You should read an article to find out where the G-Spot is located and what the G-Spot feelings like. Once you understand what you are searching for, you can use an ergonomically designed sex toy to help you find the area. You may need clitoral stimulation at the same time as G-Spot stimulation to achieve an orgasm.

Step 2 – Replicate The Orgasm During Mutual Masturbation

The next thing you need to do is replicate what you did during solo masturbation with your lover. You can do this by allowing your lover control of the sex toy to stimulate you. Ensure you communicate clearly on the things that you do enjoy and what you don’t enjoy.

Step 3 – Replicate The Orgasm During Penetration Sex

Once your lover has worked out how to give you an orgasm during mutual masturbation, you can now begin to learn the different sex positions that are recommended to use to reach orgasm. With experience you will find out what works for you. Listed below are 6 of the best sex positions you can try.

The 6 Best Sex Positions For Women

The Cat Position

Sex PositionLovers face each other with the man lying on top. He thrusts gently inside and pushes his erection as deeply as he can. Rather than the man thrusting in and out. He gently pushes and massages his erection into the G-Spot. This sex position is also called the “Coital Alignment Technique”. The man can place his legs on the outside or on the inside of her legs. The lovers can also rock their bodies together for added stimulation.

The Free As Air Position

The man lies down flat on his back. The woman sit’s on top and lowers her body until his erection is fully inside. She that lays herself down so she is completely lying on top of him. It is said that when women are in this position they feeling weightless. The man can also easily extend his hand to stimulate her clitoris.

The Pinner Position

In the Pinner Position a women is able to touch her clitoris secretly without a lower knowing. The women lays down flat on her stomach. The man lays on her back and penetrates comfortably from behind. Since both lovers are completely level with the bed, the women can use her hand to stimulate her clitoris without him knowing.

The Spoons Position

The spoons sex position
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The Spoons Position is reminiscent of spoons that are lying next to each other in a drawer. The women lies in front and the man spoons her from behind with his erection below her buttox. Some women love this position but not everyone is able to reach orgasm as they are on their side. The man can also easily reach around to her clitoris for added stimulation. The advantage of this position is that neither of you is taking on the other person’s bodyweight.

The Standing Spoon

As the name suggests the Standing Spoon is done with both people standing up. The stands up facing forward as the man spoons her from behind. He can embrace the woman whilst she can place her hand behind his neck to push him towards her. People often find that it works best when both lovers bends their knees slightly and gently learn into each other for support. As he penetrates her, she is able to push back into him and relax. If G-Spot stimulation is your thing this is the perfect position to use.

The Crab On Its Back

There is another sex position called Crab On Its Back. This position allows for extremely deep penetration with a lot of body contact. On a bed, the women bends her knees to her breasts. The man sits in a crab position and uses his hands for support. The women is able to move her hips as he penetrates deep inside of her. This is a position that you may have to try a few times to get right but once you do, be prepared to feel physically and emotionally connected.

We hope these sex positions offer a new insight into how to orgasm during sex with a lover. If you would like to learn new ways to orgasm, read our lazy sex and orgasm guide for more information!

Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not!

I Gave Up Clitoral Orgasms For 21 Days!

Woman engaging in solo masturbation

The clitoris is an amazing body part, its sole purpose for existing intended to make women feel good and provide them pleasure. I have spoken to many women and for the most part, compared with vaginal or cervical orgasms, clitoral orgasms are the most commonly experienced. For many women orgasms are easily attainable with vibrator stimulation or manual stimulation which are some of the main ways women reach a peak clitoral orgasm.

Diagram of the clitoris
Image: The Clitoris

If you are a woman and have experienced a clitoral orgasm, you may question why anyone would want to give them up. For numerous reasons, which I will attempt to explain, I decided to give myself a break from clitoral induced orgasms for three weeks. Sounds a little crazy however I received many benefits from this exploration that have changed the way I look at self-pleasuring and sex. Here is an insight into my experience:

A couple of weeks leading into the decision to avoid clitoral orgasms for 21 days, I had noticed some changes in the way I was self-pleasuring and having sex with my partner. Now for many people I am sure these changes would not have been anything too concerning however my area of personal growth centres around my sexuality and sexual energy so for the most part, I have a clear awareness in regards to changes in myself sexually.

Sex was beginning to become goal oriented, with an orgasm the main focus during my love making sessions with my man. This seemed to be some old patterns and ways of being that were resurfacing which I was finding frustrating. I found myself not being completely present and embodied during my experiences being intimate with him, which ultimately took away from the connection we share. It is also an interesting thing to know that whilst I was focused on an orgasm, which at the time seemed like the ultimate in pleasure, I was actually missing out on a copious amount of pleasure. Seeking takes us out of our bodies and into our minds which is where we spend way too much time to begin with. In my orgasm reaching state, I knew that I was denying myself from feeling a great amount of pleasure which is naturally occurring when I am present in my body and with my partner.

The existence of sex addiction is a highly debatable notion, with some individuals claiming addiction to sex is not viable. From my personal perspective and from the research I have read, you can absolutely be addicted to sex-in fact you can be addicted to anything! Addiction is the continuous completion of a certain behaviour which comes from a compulsion rather than a conscious decision. The reasons behind this can be vast, with avoidance of certain emotions and fear of the unknown being some triggers for addictive behaviours. Leading up to my 21-day clitoral-orgasm free period, I had been having experiences with self-pleasuring where having clitoral orgasms was done in an addictive manner. I was using them as a way of escaping certain emotions, with a mindlessness and lack of consciousness followed by guilt and shame some of my personal indicators that the way I was self-pleasuring was becoming unhealthy. It was becoming an escape rather than a beautiful self-loving experience hence why I decided to go a time without them.

My experience was very interesting, with some pretty low points in the first few days. I felt a fogginess and lack of clarity up until about day 5, with low libido and irritability some of the accompanying side effects to my lack of orgasms. Going without clitoral orgasms meant that I was not having any orgasms as I had become extremely dependant on clitoral stimulation to achieve climax. This brought about feelings of frustration and annoyance. I would get bored quite early on during sex with my partner when I remembered that sex was off the cards, with a 20-minute session the most I could handle the first few days. I couldn’t even bring myself to masturbate for the first week as I didn’t trust myself enough to not go to my clitoris to reach orgasm.

Couples engaging in tantric sex
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The doom and gloom did not stay for long, and as the days went on, I started to notice a growing sensitivity when having sex with my partner. I was feeling more pleasure in my vagina from penetration alone, with the lack of clitoral stimulation meaning I could focus more on those sensations rather than being distracted by the more intense feelings from the clitoris. This meant I was able to experience vaginal orgasms for the first time in a long time which were extremely pleasurable and definitely worth the wait! Taking away clitoral orgasms also meant that without a goal to get somewhere, I could fully relax into the experience with my man without being distracted by the “end result” of what we were doing. We could connect on a deeper level from a place of just enjoying being close with each other for the hell of it. No expectations, no goal, no having to get somewhere-just pure pleasure, love and fun.

Don’t get me wrong, there was certainly times when I was frustrated that I could not have a peak orgasm. This 21 days however reminded me that sex and self-pleasuring is not some task to complete, it is not something to check off our to do list. Sex and self-pleasuring is a beautiful opportunity to drop in and enjoy feeling close to ourselves or another person. I don’t know if I will go to the full extent of taking away clitoral orgasms for 21-days again but I do know that I am committed to maintaining an awareness of how I am self-pleasuring and having sex so that I can keep expanding into depths of greater pleasure, connection and joy with myself and my partner.  To make things even more interesting, did you know that there are 6 different types of female orgasms?

Le clitoris – Animated Documentary (2016) by Lori Malépart-Traversy:

Author: Stephanie Curtis- BA Nursing

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Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph’s writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.

Master Slowing Things Down With Roaring Hot Tantra

Couple Kissing Intimately With Tantra

Recently whilst completing an intensive for my studies in sexology, I heard an elaborate sexual dysfunction called an Idiosyncratic Masturbatory Response which instantly grabbed my attention.

An idiosyncratic masturbatory response refers to an individual having a particular way of masturbating and reaching orgasm that cannot be replicated during intimate experiences with a partner. This has the potential to cause difficulties in a relationship or when being intimate with others as many people enjoy the experience of reaching orgasmic states with another person.

After doing a bit of research, I came across countless articles describing “the death grip” where men become so conditioned to receive hard and strong self-penile stimulation (usually whilst watching pornography) that they find it difficult to feel aroused when having penetrative or oral sex with a partner.

I know that it’s not just men that experience this need for strong stimulation. As a woman, I used to approach self-pleasuring in a way that did not honour my body. It was an experience that was often filled with shame & guilt that I just wanted it over with as quick as possible (I believe this has a lot to do with the fact that masturbation is seldom spoken of in mainstream sex education but that’s another article of itself!!) This hard and fast approach can result in difficulties reaching orgasm with a partner which can cause feelings of frustration and decreased desire for sex with your partner.

There is such a strong culture of seeking heightened orgasmic states in our society that the subtleties of being intimate with another human being go unnoticed. People become so fixated on the peak-the orgasm-the grand finale- that everything that happens beforehand is not fully experienced in its totality.

The beauty and pleasure from the softest touch, the sensations in our body when your lover looks at you, the fullness from feeling them in complete stillness inside us as we make love is all lost when we approach being intimate with them full of expectations of “achieving” orgasm. This is where Tantra comes in…

Many people are curious of what Tantra is and what Tantric sex looks like. Tantra is a complex philosophy however when I speak of Tantric sex, I mean a sexual experience where each moment and sensation is experienced in its totality with no expectations of getting anywhere or reaching anything. Tantra teaches us that a world of pleasure is accessible to us in the smallest of intimate experiences if we so choose to become attuned to the subtleties.

There are many ways to slow down and bring greater pleasure and presence into your sex life, with one’s own self-loving practice a perfect place to start. Bringing a level of conscious intention into your self-pleasuring and dedicating time to yourself with no intent other than to love yourself up can be a beautifully healing and pleasurable experience. Lighting some candles, having a relaxing hot bath and massaging your whole body with some gorgeous oils prior to any genital stimulation can really help eradicate that orgasm goal and teach you to slow down with your own body so that you can access more sensation and pleasure (A sexual health product available from Wildfire is All Over Pleasure Oil which is my personal favourite).

Wildfire Pleasure Oil Black Photo
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When men and women are used to hard and fast stimulation, having slow and gentle sex can bring up a lot of intense emotion. Frustration, anger, sadness, numbness and boredom can all arise when we begin to slow down and fully feel. It is not usual to be in touch with slight sensations and it can take some time for our bodies and minds to drop in and notice them. It is perfectly normal to feel the full spectrum of emotions when doing something that we are not used and often many of us have never tried slowing it down in the bedroom so be kind to yourself and your partner.

Naked Couple Having Public SexPhoto: Couple Having Tantric Sex

I highly encourage people to step away, if only on special occasions, from a hard and fast approach to sex, into an experience of love and connection with their partner. This could include eye gazing, breathing together, cuddling, kissing or extended foreplay-the key being that this will bring you into complete presence with your partner. Just remember, it is easy to get caught up in our minds when slowing it down so if this happens, practice mindfulness and come back to feeling sensation in your body.

Slowing down can take a personal and relational commitment, with open communication between partners extremely important to navigate any changes you both desire to make with your sex lives. It takes patience and being gentle with ourselves and our partner to make the transition from goal oriented sex to completely present intimacy however the magic that can be experienced when we do is completely worth it.

Author: Stephanie Curtis- BA NursingSave

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Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph’s writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.

Sex, Sexuality & Genders of The Future!

DNA modification

The other day I was reading a book and a question was posed are people a product of their genes or of their environment or as the academics put it Nature Vs Nurture and I wondered how that applied to many things including sexuality.  With science rapidly improving we are able to dip into and alter the gene pool and genetically modify everything from crops to humans.  In 2015 scientists altered the DNA of human embryos, genetically modifying them using a method called the Crisper technique.  Welcome to the Brave New World where science fiction written in 1931 is becoming a reality.

With the technology available today scientists and doctors are now be able to change a person’s physical, intellectual and possibly even mental capabilities through this engineering.  It will allow in the future the riddance of many hereditary diseases and allow man to play god.  Regardless of where your stance is ethically on this it does pose some uncomfortable questions like –

Under What circumstances could this genetic engineering take place?

Who would qualify?  Would it be only used to correct ailments and deformities or would it be optional for parents to choose the color of there to be born child’s hair or eyes?

What controls will be put in place?

Will it be used to improve intellectual abilities of the masses?

Gender Positive
Gender Profiles

But what about SEX?

The sex of a new-born child can be genetically engineered to that of the parents, or viewing into the future, the buyers/creators choices.  So that is all well and good but how about sexuality and sexual preferences.  With sexual revolution in the late 60’s and early 70’s tolerance between sexual preferences, now being politically correct genders, was practiced by most.  It was still accepted that there was a man and a woman but the expectation that relationships be solely between a man and a woman were broadened and there were the straights (some being closeted straights) and the LGBT community was formed which stands for Lesbian Gay, Bisexual and Transsexual.

In the 90’s the LGBT acronym was expanded to LGBTQ the Q standing for Queer or Questioning.  In the year 2000 this new gender equality world there were 63 accepted variations of gender rather than that of a man and a woman.  The question of gender equality was raised and debate began as being a sex positive community what additional genders should be included and in the United States the acronym became LGBTQQIP2SAA whilst in the United Kingdom it became LGBTIQCAPGNGFNBA.  This has been expanded further still and some acronyms carry 26 letters which is just absurd, sensible gender accepting people now simply use LGBTQ+.

List of Genders
Gender Issues

In Australia we are currently in the middle of a plebiscite for same sex marriage.  Controversy has raged with many members of the public who thought that the vote was to allow a man to marry a man or a woman to marry a woman. Many are still not aware that there that included in this vote are over 100 genders and the vote is for the legal right for one human being to marry another human being regardless of sex, sexual preference or gender.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I will vote ‘Yes’ and I am an advocate in same sex marriage but even I struggle with a gender that is described as a ‘Feminine Male That is Attracted to a Bisexual Hermaphromale’.  In any event different strokes for different folks and certainly in principle, and in practice.

So where am I going with this?  If we can genetically engineer the sex of a child and there are now over 100 gender identities where does the future of sex lie?  Will government regulate what gender preferences there are available?  Will there be scope to tailor make and custom build your future child’s gender?  Will gender society become more fragmented in the Brave New World that can be a reality and there become gender exclusive communities, or cities or will we come back to strict definitions of a man and a woman.

There is nothing natural about genetic engineering but is it possible that nurture may overcome genetic engineering?

Scarier still the technology to clone humans already exists – however difficult it may be.  So why has a human being not been cloned officially? Who knows what has occurred off the record?  Your baby boy has just died, would you not love to have the exact human clone produced from his DNA?  It is not easy to clone primates but with enough money and resources it would be.  The reason is that commercially it is not viable to clone a human, and some would throw in the ethical argument.

Most humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes that are basically identical and found in almost every cells nucleus.  The differences between humans are caused by genes that segments of DNA that make each human being unique.  However as this DNA is passed down from mother and father to offspring there are traits will be unique to them which allows for DNA testing.  Believe it or not DNA testing will accurately test for family ancestry for at least 5 generations and if the gene pool is strong enough up to 700 years.  So we are not all from the same gene pool.

Livestock cloning is business and successful. Intrexon a bio-tech company has been cloning sheep, cattle, pigs and pets for years.  The average price to clone your recently passed canine it about US $100,000 but that is a small amount when you consider cloning a successful race horse.  Buying one that is bred can cost millions of dollars – however will the racing authorities allow you to put a cloned horse on the track?  Well perhaps not!  However in 2013 Polo star Adolfo Cambiaso rode on a cloned horse, their team winning the Argentine Polo Open.

 

So what happens when in the future if we start cloning human beings?  Imagine the same scenario as before but rather than just losing your baby boy you also lost you sweet daughter.  You were a nucleur family – husband and wife with son and daughter.  You are distressed beyond belief and in your despair look at cloning as an option but because of the cost involved you can only afford to create one.  You cannot make the choice so you choose to use DNA from both.

Forget about the moral and legal injustice that a clone is not born so therefore cannot be considered a human being.  Cross-cloning can be done between the same species?  Theoretically most experts agree that the result could only be female in sex.  But hang on a second, cloning creates an embryo.  Scientists genetically engineer an embryo to make changes, including sex.  Do you see where I am heading with this?

Let us hope that we do not enter this brave new world, but if we do what will it mean for sex, sexuality and gender options?

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Rick is the owner of the Adultsmart, an online sex toy shop that stocks over 13,000 products. He has been involved in the adult lifestyle industry for more than 25 years. Rick is an active sex blogger who provides a wealth of information and experience. He is an advocate of equality for gender and sexuality.

Deciding To Touch – A Personal Story

Sexual Assault Teal Ribbon

*Disclaimer- assault may trigger some readers please be advised*

Here we go, my personal story of how the me of today came to light. Not all of us come into this world of sexual excitement and enticement with a “bang”. A one in which magical arousing confetti erupts into the air as the “to be” most enchanted moment arrives. Some start off with fear, caution, and betrayal, that “thing” that everyone says won’t happen to them happens.

You don’t have to be drunk at a party or be put in a dodgy situation for this to happen, sometimes just walking your dog in a friendly neighbourhood can become a crime scene. We all utter the words “I won’t put myself in that situation for that to happen” but it’s not always our choice.

Choice is my most used word in my vocabulary, choice is the motto of my life. My choices are what got me to where I am today, although that road was a rough ride with many mistakes I am proud to say they were all because I chose.

Not all those who are assaulted go out into the big bad wide world and to put it bluntly “sleep with everything that moves” to fill that void and numb the pain. Don’t get me wrong it works for some but for me, this wasn’t an option I was willing to take. I chose to choose my emotions over my body, and it’s a choice I’ll never regret. The body never forgets and it’s the fault of the mind, simple touches that should be arousing and intimate become triggers for pain and emotion. Flinching is normal, flinching at the most normal touches almost become unbearable. Hugging is a huge one for me, a simple hug is not easy because you are allowing someone into your personal space and your body.

Quote by imom.com
Image: Good Sex Starts With Good Conversation

The body recalls a touch that was once sensual and arousing and turns it into a trigger to shut off and become numb. I chose to handle myself the best way I knew possible, I chose to choose. My first time was taken with scares as a memory every single day. I had to teach myself to feel again, I had to learn to not block out my emotions and to become myself again. I had to learn not to shower five times a day because I constantly felt “dirty” and I had to choose to stop getting embarrassed about a huge scar that runs up an intimate part of my body and warning people to stop them from being shocked by it.

For me, this was a long journey in which I have lost and found myself many many times, but finally, sex became meaningful, intense and powerful. For me, I became more open and willing to try things that before this happened I would have never even considered. I explored myself first, I learnt what I liked about myself and how my body reacted, I learnt to love myself first not in the sense that I liked the way I looked but in the sense that I listened to my body and emotions. My self-discovery is where I learnt to trust my gut feeling and to never let what I went through dictate the rest of my life. I chose to not hate all men but to trust my own instincts, which might I add didn’t have a 100% strike rate! But I learnt and that’s the main thing!

Trust exercises, goals, boundaries these are all the things in therapy you are told to write down and think about. These don’t mean just with a partner these also relate to yourself, and how you build your journey into intimacy. Sexual healing takes patience and don’t ever do something until you are ready for it emotionally and physically. For a very long time my mind and my body were disconnected, every time I chose to have sex I did not enjoy it because my body and mind would constantly disassociate. This was my greatest hurdle because feeling meant triggering “that feeling” and I can’t tell you how many times I burst into tears during and after sex. But each time I did I grew and I evolved and I became stronger!

Loving Couple Hugging
Photo: Couple Touching Each Other Passionately

There are plenty of supportive, understanding partners out there, but there are also people who are going to make you feel like their sexual needs are more important than your safety needs. Being able to address your history on your own timeline, without having to even consider anyone else, is a wonderful benefit. It may take you some time to fully process this experience, and it may continue to surface in surprising and frustrating ways. But don’t let this person steal your chance for joy and intimacy. If you have the desire to learn how to enjoy sex (and again, you don’t have to), you can get there.

My most favourite quote which I tattooed onto my body is “you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have”.

Learn, grow, feel, and most importantly discover yourself first!

About the author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

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Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.

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