7 Cunnilingus Secrets To Make A Woman Cum!

Performing cunnilingus skills
Polishing the floorboards, munching carpet, eating out, – whatever you want to call it, cunnilingus is a key aspect of lesbian sex… to be fair, any sex involving a vagina!  Cunnilingus can be defined as oral stimulation of the vulva or clitoris. Easy peasy. Or not…It is a well known fact that turning on a female as opposed to turning on a male can be a much tougher task, generally speaking that is. Cunnilingus can be a daunting task for some or a turn on for others but definitely a crucial aspect of achieving orgasm with most women. Good Cunnilingus is an essential tool for anybody to have in their… box. We all know that no vagina is the same but do not fear! I have a few basic tips to help you get well on your way to being a cryptologic Cunnilinguist. (I totally just made up that word and am so proud).

Look before you eat

You totally wouldn’t attempt to eat your dinner without at least glancing at your plate before putting food on your fork, or glancing at your fork before placing it in your mouth… nor would you attempt to piece together a puzzle in the dark – so why go down on your lady before you get a decent look? Sure, in scenarios where it may be a one time thing, or at the beginning of the relationship getting a decent look may be awkward, but you can get around this by making the situation LESS awkward. Brownie points for telling her that her pink canoe looks pretty! So how are you supposed to do your thing and do it well if you can’t even see first where everything is situated.

Converse

How does she like it? Where does she like it? Does she like direct clitoral stimulation? Dual stimulation? All I know is, the more you know, the better you’re going to provide! Discuss what feels good and don’t be ashamed or afraid to say what doesn’t! Communication is key when it comes to consent and pleasure.

Listen to the cues

It’s not just the act but also being present and completely in tune with your partners responses and cues. As previously mentioned, listen if your partner gives you direction, and when to never, ever stop.

Use your hands

Just because it’s called oral sex, doesn’t mean you can’t use your hands! Some women need dual stimulation to orgasm, some like the teasing aspect, some women need G Spot stimulation…. again, COMMUNICATE!

Performing oral sex skills
Image: Cunnilingus

Communite non-verbally

Ask her to hold your hand or head and tap, squeeze, or loosen the pressure when you like something, don’t like something or what more of it. You can develop your own types of non verbal communication, to make Cunnilingus that much easier.

Remember

Sometimes you have performed Cunnilingus that many times it should come naturally. It is most important to remember, what she likes. When you have time, write down the moves that have worked best. Before you have Cunnilingus you can read the list and build open your skill set.

Don’t be ashamed to bring tools!

Sex furniture or items such as the ‘Wedge’ by Liberator, are described as a serving platter for your meal… It literally is just that. It props up your butt so you can have easier access and maneuver other wonderful toys whilst you go to town  (I won’t go into detail as this is going to occur in a review to come from Amy). Bring along a versatile vibrator, like the Lelo Mona 2. Mona can produce amazing G Spot orgasms in one hand while your tongue focuses on the clitoris. Combined with the wedge, you’ll be able to have much more freedom. Buy some flavoured lube! Flavoured lube is both fun and one of the best inventions of all time. Like coffee flavours? Try Wicked’s Mocha Java lubricant. Like sour? Try ID’s sour watermelon lubricant. Like sweet? Try Wet Stuffs caramel flavoured lubricant. There is literally a flavour for everyone. So pick away and enthusiastically eat (lick, please) your partner.

A willing giver, paired with a few of the tips previously mentioned, will be sure to graduate as high achieving cryptologic cunnilinguist. Be sure to also check out the complete guide on deep throating.

Author: Chloe is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not!

Gentleman’s Guide: Sex On The First Date

Sex on a first date

To many guys, sex on a first date seems like it will only happen with a big amount of luck. And all because they don’t know how to seduce girls, and occasional success is just a matter of chance. However, there’s the good news: you can easily make your companion want sex on the first date. You just need to approach this process more consciously.

You probably don’t even suspect that there are several critical moments your success depends on. And knowing how to act in these moments and a small change of behavior can completely change the course of seduction from long (and annoying) courtship to sex in a couple of seconds. Use these 4 rules to seduce beautiful women.

When you don’t need to put in any effort

Sometimes it happens that you go on a date and see that the girl actively supporting your desire to drag her into bed by touching and hugging you or showing other signs that she’s interested in you. Such moments scare the hell out of some guys, so they start acting incorrectly.

Even a small interest at the beginning of the first date can lead to sex. All you need is to take advantage of this and be more active and decisive. Just imagine that this girl is your old friend. If she’s interested in you, then she’ll easily accept (and support) your courtship. This approach will work.

Seize the moment

Let’s say you got caught in the rain, and it happens so that you’re not far from your home. You should take advantage of the moment and invite her to your place for a cup of tea. For example, the same thing works if it’s already too late, and you’re a couple of minutes away from your home.

Let’s say you asked her out on a date in the evening, she wanted to go home early, but you persuaded her to stay, promising to call her a cab. Keep the promise. But before making a call, say “Let’s go to my place! It may take a while until the cab arrives, so why wait for it outside?” That’s what we call “taking advantage of the moment”. If you manage to get into a similar situation and use it (and such situations happen pretty often – you just need to spot them), then it will be easier to get sex on a first date.

“3 in 1”

For some reason, most guys are guided by the principle of “one date – one place”. Usually, after spending a few hours in a café or restaurant, they take girls for a short walk, and that’s all. Here’s how you can make a few adjustments to your plan and get her into your bed. If you visit more than one spot with her during the date, both of you will have a feeling that you already had a few dates. After all, the main barrier that prevents a girl from agreeing to sex on a first date is a lack of trust.

When you visit several places at once, she’ll begin to perceive you as someone she knows well. It’s better to take her to at least three different spots. But you can make it “4 in 1” or “5 in 1” if you want. It all depends on what kind of places you take her to, and how tired both of you become in all of them.

Try to make it so that the next place contrasts with the previous one. For example, if you were engaged in something active in the first one, than the second spot should be relaxing, and so on. And the last place should be near your house (plan ahead).

Keep a conversation going and listen to her carefully

To establish an emotional connection with the girl, show her your true self, tell interesting stories with a smile on your face. Let her know that you’re a cheerful person. Thus, you strengthen confidence, and the more she trusts you, the more she will open to you in return. In the end, this leads to a feeling of deep connection, which makes your companion more liberated in your company.

Every time the girl tells you something about herself, you must remain silent and listen. If you’ve never been particularly interested in the thoughts of women, with whom you went on a date before, then you’ve missed a lot. If you like this girl, she’ll help you seduce her. She’ll give you a couple of tips you can use to make her want to have sex with you.

Why sex on a first date is so important

So what is the reason for such a rush? Why not wait? After all, there’s still so much time ahead. The fact is that sexual desire, as well as any food product, has a shelf life, which is pretty short. It’s like a carton of milk: if you don’t drink it in time, the milk will turn sour, and you’ll have to throw it away. Aside from that, women usually treat men according to 1 of 3 categories that they will fit into:

  • Lover
  • Sponsor
  • Friend

And, as a rule, the longer the process of seduction lasts, the less chance you have to get into the first category, and the higher the risk of ending up in the third one.

Seducing date to have sex
Image: Couples first date sex

Bottom line

No matter whom you’re dating – nuns, MILFs, or Russian girls for marriage – these tips will work. Remember the main thing: even if you fail to make your companion want to have sex with you, there’s no reason to give up. With experience, you’ll learn to feel what exactly you must do or say to achieve what you want. Just act more decisively and quickly – your determination to succeed will increase your chances dramatically. Most importantly, always bring a condom with you so that you are always covered!

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.

Cum Again? Biohacking Multiple Orgasms For Men!

Male multiple orgasm

Despite men and women being on par on various playing fields, orgasms are not one of them. According to the Australian Study of Health and Relationships survey of more than 20,000 Australians between the ages of 16 and 69, only 66% of women had an orgasm during their last sexual encounter as opposed to 92% of men. That might seem like a win for the men until it was revealed that women apparently have the monopoly on multiple orgasms. Regardless of popular belief, it is by no means impossible for a man to have multiple orgasms.  All it takes is some practice, which, in itself is rather enjoyable. The main thing is to grasp that an orgasm and ejaculation do not need to go hand-in-hand. Here’s how to go about it.

Focus on your breathing and flex your PC muscle

Breathing can go a long way in expanding your sexual awareness. To be able to have orgasms without cumming, you should breathe deeply, focusing on how your breathing pattern changes as you experience various sexual responses like getting turned on, your sexual excitement building in intensity and finally having an orgasm and ejaculating. In case you didn’t know what your PC muscle is, it’s the muscle that you use to stop the flow of urine when you pee and it plays a huge role in your ability to have multiple orgasms. Start by locating your PC muscle and get well-acquainted with it. A sure-fire way to success is to learn how to do Kegel exercises which involves you squeezing and releasing your muscles in the same fashion women do to keep their vaginas in tip-top shape. This technique can also be used for men who want enlightened sex.

Practice, practice, practice

If you want to be able to have multiple orgasms when having sex with a partner you need to be able to do it while masturbating first. As with everything else in life, practice makes perfect, and this is one instance where practicing won’t feel like a chore. You can masturbate as you normally would, either free-hand or by using a specialized male sex toy. What is important is to take note of things such as your physical reaction when you get extremely turned on. Do you start getting a tingling sensation when you stroke harder and faster? If you are you can take it as a sign that you are about to blow your load, which is also known as the point of no return. Being familiar with this sensation will help you to learn how to prevent ejaculation.

Multiple orgasms men
Image: Multiple orgasms for men

Perfect the S.T.A.B method

Since you are making a concerted effort to masturbate more regularly, you may as well practice a method known as S.T.A.B which will enable you to have an orgasm without ejaculating.  While the method may sound rather ominous it is fairly simple and involves the following:

Squeeze

Squeeze your newly-discovered PC muscles as hard as you can right when you are about to orgasm. The best way to describe the movement is to imagine performing a very intense Kegel. Hold the squeeze for as long as you can. You will slowly feel yourself relax.

Think

Thinking seems like such a simple thing to do until you have to actively do it. The only thing you need to think about is to not cum. It may seem easier than what it is in reality but after a few practice rounds you will find yourself doing it with greater ease each and every time.

Avoid

Avoidance goes hand-in-hand with thinking. No one knows your body better than you do, especially after all the self-pleasuring you have been indulging in lately while trying to perfect the art of multiple orgasms.  This is the point where you need to divert your attention as much as possible and focus on something that does not turn you on.  Also, try to avoid stroking the head of your penis and turn down the intensity of your strokes without stopping altogether.

Breathe

Once again focus on your breathing. Take slow, deep breaths to slow your heart rate while continuing to pleasure yourself. If you were having sex with a partner you would continue thrusting. Keep at it until you orgasm, without cumming. As soon as your orgasm finishes you will be ready (and more than willing) to start all over again.

Now that you have mastered the basics of multiple orgasms, you can continue to practice until you feel like you have achieved your goals. You may take longer to master multiples with more intricate positions including anal but in time you will be a pro at it especilly if you use men’s masturbators and strokers. Not only will your ability to have multiple orgasms be the talk of the town (women talk more about their sexual escapades than we would like to give them credit for) but you will also be able to truly understand the intense pleasure of finally lasting more than one round in bed. Why not have all of the benefits of orgasming for men multiple times!

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.

My Celibacy Journey – A Born Again Virgin

Virgin Mary orgasming

Continued from part 2: 3 Incredible People Who Overcame Their Sexual Struggles

I am coming up to 9 weeks of my celibacy journey and felt it was about time I shared another update on how the experience has been for me. I have been experiencing so much emotionally within this journey and with so much happening, it is often difficult to put into words. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster thus far and I expect when it is over and I begin integrating the lessons learnt, it will continue to be a turbulent ride.

The orgasm rollercoaster journey
Image: Orgasm rollercoaster

To recap what my journey has consisted of in the case you didn’t read my previous article, I have gone 9 weeks without penetrative sex and 7 weeks without oral sex, masturbation/mutual masturbation or any kind of genital to genital contact. All this whilst being in a loving and passionate relationship. Prior to this, I can’t recall a time since I discovered my sexuality where I went more than a week without masturbation or sex. 3 more weeks of this and I am finished!

One of the biggest lessons I have received from this experience is that sexuality and sexual energy is not something to take for granted. When we’re in the midst of playing out our unhealthy attachments to sex, we are often blindsided to the fact that sexuality is sacred. Every sensation, each ripple of pleasure through our bodies, every stroke and every thrust is a divine gift. In a typical hard and fast approach to sex, we miss out on all the tiny little parts of it that make up the whole experience. We are not fully present to the whole experience therefore we cannot receive and feel it all completely. I have really felt a strong desire to bring greater respect, presence and honouring of my sexuality to my experiences with myself and others.

Couples celibacy journey
Image: Couples intimate relationship

Reclaiming my Virgin has been a big lesson from this experience

Sounds a bit strange right? Let me explain…I had this incredibly bizarre moment last week of not being able to recall what it is like to have an orgasm or to have intercourse. I have forgotten how sex feels and there was something almost magical about this. I told my partner that I feel like a virgin again and it turns out there was a lot in this once I unpacked it.

We have come to understand Virgin to mean a woman or man who has not had penetrative sexual intercourse however the word took on a different meaning once upon a time. Virgin used to be a word to describe a free, untied and independent woman – A woman whose sexuality was her own. Over time, we have connected Virgin to purity and absence of penetrative sex. We often lose our connection to being a virgin once we have sex however I feel this archetypal energy can be accessed regardless of the presence of a hymen.

Do you remember your first orgasm? That first experience of exquisite bliss that compares to nothing else you’ve ever experienced? How can we come back to the place of experiencing sensuality and sexuality as if it was our first time? How can we claim our sovereignty as an independent and complete person whose sexuality is not anyone else’s but ours? This to me is what reclaiming our Virgin is all about.

Another great lesson I have learnt throughout this journey has been the importance of having a connection on different levels with our intimate partners. As sex has been off the cards with my partner, it has made me look at all the other ways we can feel intimate and connected with each other. This has meant making time for massage and sensual touch which is so important regardless of having sex with each other. It has also meant lots of platonic play and fun, many deep intellectual conversations and also a great deal of time on our own to process the emotions and feelings this journey is bringing up for us both. Sex is SO important for us but it is not the only thing necessary in an intimate relationship.

A celibate journey
Image: Couple being together

Finally and most importantly, I have experienced a sense of who I am without being an outwardly sexual being. There is no avoiding the fact that I love sex and enjoy sexual pleasure in my life however I know that this does not make up all of who I am. Working as sexologist (and in the sex industry in any capacity) there feels enormous pressure to have it all together “sexually speaking”. I have felt the perceived expectations to be having great sex all the time otherwise I have felt like a bit of a fraud. This journey has really highlighted the fact that our sexuality is an evolving and naturally fluctuating aspect of ourselves. There will be peaks of orgasmic bliss accompanied with bouts of low desire and sexual satisfaction. There will be times where we may be called to be celibate and other times where being sexually intimate with multiple people may be serving us best. These fluctuations are completely normal and need to be supported!!

This journey has been incredible in so many ways and I am excited to see what continues to unfold from here. Stay tuned…

Author: Stephanie Curtis, Sexologist

Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph’s writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.

Sleep Or Sex: What’s The Better Choice Come Bedtime?

Is it time for sleep or have sex?

Sorry, trick question. The simple answer is both of course!

There are absolutely no better bedfellows than sleep and sex. The more sex you have the better you sleep. The more you sleep the better sex you have. What a happy horny cycle!

You might not think the act of sleeping, with all that snoring and drooling, as being inherently sexy (unless that’s your quirk of course). I’m here to tell you it is. Very very sexy in fact! At least your body chemistry seems to think so.

Read on below and we will take a look under the covers of the relationship between good sleep and great sex. And gird your loins because things are about to get a little hormonal up in here!

Say goodnight to the ‘stress hormone’

Bumping uglies with your special friend before bed is the best (and most fun) way to flush your body of cortisol. Also known as the ‘stress hormone’.

Cortisol was a highly useful hormone back in our caveman days. It’s the thing that triggers our fight or flight reaction when we think we see a bear hiding behind a tree. When we then fought or fled the exertion burnt off the cortisol.

Alas in today’s largely bear free world, cortisol usually does more harm than good. If say, we’re worried about work, money or family our system is flooded with cortisol in the same way as before. Unfortunately our desk-based sedentary lifestyle means we don’t then burn it off. It just hangs around keeping us stressed and keeping us awake too.

Exercise is the best way to flush cortisol from your system and what is the best form of exercise known to humankind? Sexercise obviously!

Nothing is better at flushing stress hormones from the system than a good energetic roll in the hay.

Say hello to the ‘love hormone’

When we get it on our bodies release large amounts of a lovely little hormone known as oxytocin – which is a very good thing indeed. Oxytocin induces a feeling of safety, security and comfort. Think of it as a great big hug for your insides.

During sex it’s the thing that makes us feel so amazingly close to our partner. After sex it leaves us feeling calm and content, the perfect combination for sleep.

So what is it? Well, Oxytocin is a super powerful neurotransmitter which regulates social interactions and creates amazingly strong bonds between us and our loved ones.

As well as being unleashed during the height of passion, oxytocin is also released when we hug each other. And importantly by mothers during childbirth. It’s basically the thing that takes the edge of all the painful pushing and fills you full of love and affection despite the last few hours of suffering.

You can see now why oxytocin has earned the name the ‘love hormone’. What’s not to love?

Considering all the action that’s about to take place there, it could be time to think about your bed. Is it up to the job? For advice on selecting the best bed for sexy times have a look at this useful buyers guide.

Which is better sleep or sex?
Image: Sex or sleep

The orgasm bedgasm cycle

Good sex is good for sleep but why settle for good? Great sex is great for sleep!

When we reach the mighty O our body is flooded with yet another hormone. This time the chemical in question is prolactin. Prolactin induces an overwhelming sense of bliss throughout the body. If you’re lucky enough to have a skillful partner then I’m sure you know the feeling I’m talking about!

Prolactin doubles down on the job already done by oxytocin and further eradicates any feelings of stress, anxiety or any depressive thoughts that might be floating around.

Prolactin also explain why men get incredibly sleepy after sex but so quite nearly so drowsy after masterbation. Researchers don’t really know why but the body seems to sense the difference between the two activities and responds accordingly. A man’s system releases up to four times more prolactin during a sex-based orgasm than it does during a visit Mrs Palm and her five lovely daughters. Go figure!

Deeper please

And things don’t end there. Researchers have found that post-coital slepy times are actually more rejuinative than normal sleep. It seems the cocktail of hormones injected into the system actually helps the body to cycle through the stages of sleep more effectively. Allowing you to get to the good deep wave sleep quicker and stay there longer. Oh yeah!

Sleep makes sex better

So we’ve already seen that sex helps us sleep but the even better news is the more sleep we get, the more we desire sex and the better it feels. Yep, you heard right, getting more sleep actually makes sex feel better. That blew my mind too!

Firstly, being well rested raises our libido by increasing the levels of sex hormones in our system, hormones like testosterone and androgen. Secondly, research tells us that sleep seems to help increase the ease of arousal in women and how aroused they become by increasing the level blood flow to the vagina. Amazing!

So what are you waiting for? Grab your partner, head to bed have a good long, erm…nap time together!

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.