A Beginner’s Guide To Getting An Erotic Massage

Asian massage therapist

Have you always wanted an erotic massage but have no idea what to expect? Well if you are stressed out at work, dealing with problems at home or struggling to feed your sexual cravings it might be exactly what the doctor ordered. Though it’s sometimes painted with sleazy connotations, the bodywork actually has much more depth than horny middle-aged men getting their fix. In this day in age erotic massage therapy could be a benefit for everyone. And here I am to tell you more…

Massage parlours are everywhere…

If you live in a city centre you probably walk past an adult massage parlour on a daily basis, built up areas are saturated with them! Some salons you may even be familiar with and can’t help but wonder what goes on behind closed doors. Erotic massage is often seen as a taboo subject but I can’t stress more that despite contrary belief it is NOT illegal! The service is popular with businessmen, who often opt for an erotic massage on their lunch break and after work.

They often blend into the surroundings

One of the reasons erotic massage parlours are discreet is to protect their clients. Many maybe married, have kids and are thriving professionals who obviously don’t want to be associated with sexual services. Therefore many erotic massage providers are often masked as ‘Thai massage shops’ or are based in private houses to blend into the surroundings

They destroy any evidence of your booking

Most erotic massage parlours advise you to call to book before your session, but don’t worry about any information being leaked – evidence of your booking is usually erased straight after your session! You can always give a fake name and hide your number if you really want to.

You get the choice of girls

The first time you arrive at the parlour might be nerve-wracking. A delicious mix of masseuses will stand in front of your very eyes waiting to be chosen for your hour of thrill – you’ve probably never felt as overwhelmed!

It’s ok to be nervous

Don’t worry if you’re feeling shy, erotic masseuses are used to first-timers on a daily basis and will do all they can to put you at ease. Some parlours even have a reception where you can sit down and chat to the girls to get a feel for your favourite beforehand. You might even be offered a glass of wine to steady your nerves.

They will adjust your massage to your personal preference

Once you’ve selected your gorgeous therapist you will be shown to the bedroom. Your gorgeous girl will discuss with you beforehand what you want from your session. The beauty of erotic massage is that the style can be moulded to suit your personal preferences, whether you fancy some relaxing romance or something more adventurous.

All erotic massages are performed with the receiver and therapist both naked, but if you’re feeling a little nervous then do inform your masseuse –they’ll be able to undress to the comfort level as the session gradually progresses.

The session starts with a non-sexual full-body massage

The masseuse will place a towel down on the bed and lie you down as she warms your skin with massage oil. Though the purpose of erotic asian tantric massage is to arouse, the massage doesn’t actually start sexual. The masseuse will commence with a full body massage, similar to the soothing strokes derived from the classic style.  She’ll begin to work on your tension built in your neck, back and shoulders which will calm release all the unwanted stress within your muscles. This part of the massage is considered as the starter, there’s plenty more of this sensational feast to come!

Chinese tantric masseuse
Image: Asian Massage Therapist

More sensual strokes will be introduced

As your masseuse gently moves you onto your front from your back she will use what is known as an ‘edging’ technique. To perform ‘edging’ she will start to run her tantalising fingertips from your chest to erogenous zones (sensitive points), getting closer and closer to your manhood each time.  As your toes begin to curl and your body starts to shake she will manoeuvre her soft hands back to the top of your physique. This will send rushes of orgasmic pleasure down your spine and will be repeated until you’re at a point of no return.

The session does include sex

How sexual does the session get? Will I get a happy ending? Does the massage involve sex? These are common questions surrounding erotic massage and the answer depends on which masseuse or parlour you go to. You may-be familiar with the terms ‘happy ending’ and ‘full service massage’ but are maybe unsure what they mean. However, once you’ve had an erotic massage you’ll become accustomed to the services. Erotic happy ending generally means the naked massage with hand relief, while full service is exactly what it says on the tin and is the full she-bang. Not only will the masseuse pleasure you with her hands, she will also introduce oral and penetration as part of your experience.

You should always remain respectful

Although an erotic massage often progresses to being super sexual it’s important you are respectful to your masseuse at all times. French-kissing, pleasuring your therapist and oral without condom are often considered as extra and should be discussed with your therapist at the beginning of your session. They’re usually more than happy to adhere to your requests! Many erotic massage parlours also operate 24 hour hotlines where you can ring and discuss your queries before making your appointment.

Everyone should get an erotic massage..

You may think it’s a little naughty but there are SO many reasons why everyone should get an erotic massage. It can boost your sexual stamina, provides escape from life stresses and unwinds your tired and worn out muscles – it really is a no brainer! There’s guaranteed to be an erotic massage parlour in your area, so why not try a session today?

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.

14 Essential Tips For The Perfect Blow Job!

Blow job

When I first started high school, I remember a girl, you know the type, the one who was really loud and confident and already had boobs! Well, she passed around a survey for us to all fill in and it was titled “Are you square test” (Yes, I am old enough that people actually used the word “square” without irony).  Basically it was a list of sexual terms, we had to write what they meant and whether we had done them… it was totally mortifying. The furthest I had gone was to first base with a pillow and the back of my own hand!

Now, thankfully I have blocked out the aftermath of that test from my memory, but I still remember blow job being on there. Giving head, oral sex, going down – with any of these phrases maybe I could have hazarded a guess. God only knows why it’s a popular euphemism that happens to have nothing in common with the act itself. This was in the days before the internet. Boy, Google could have helped me out of a few sexual embarrassments, that’s for sure.

Well, now I know that the simple act of putting a man’s penis into one’s mouth is one of the most important sexual practices to get right. Nearly all men love them, a big number of those even prefer them to sex, and an unwillingness to give them will certainly have been the cause of many relationship break ups.

Why God chose to plant our favorite sexual pleasure gardens right next to the sewers eludes me, all I know is you can look and sound like Pauline Hanson but if you give him really good head, he is probably coming back. With the help of some chats with friends, an experienced professional escort and a bit of Google, I will attempt in a few paragraphs to give you some hot tips. Before you get too excited I have to say that unfortunately as with most things sexual, one size does not fit all, all men are different. I don’t think the majority of men will complain if you follow a few of these simple tips.

14 Tips To Give A Perfect Blow Job

Dress Up For It!

Even if you haven’t got a clue what you are doing you can disguise that by being completely overdressed for the occasion. Fellatio is as much about the look as the sensations. I always think it is best to kneel down in front of your man, preferably in front of a mirror. Because you still have your clothes on, it makes it clear that you only want to concentrate on one thing. Men love that.

Take Your Time And Try Edge Play

Which brings me to the most important thing of all. If you are not in the mood to make some effort then don’t bother. This should be taking you at least 20 minutes! Don’t think of it in terms of what you do and don’t like doing, think of it in terms of how you can give your man the most amount of pleasure. Take your time and then take even more time. I know my partner and those of many of my friends are big on this. The aim of the game is to take them to the edge as many times as you can if you feel him about to cum, then change tempo and tease.

Make Some Delicious Noises

Make lots of appreciative noises, the “mmmms” will vibrate too and feel great.

Show Your Appreciation

Don’t just dive down there, talk dirty about how much you want it, if you can (nothing worse than awkward dirty talk). Don’t worry if you can’t do it, just maintaining eye contact while you kiss and lick your way down his body will do the trick. Hopefully, he will be rock hard before you even get his zip undone and don’t forget to make sure you show how much you admire his dick once it is there in front of you.

Giving head
Image: Woman licking lollipop

Keep Your Teeth Away

You don’t have to blow, it isn’t a trumpet. Turns out, you don’t even have to suck, and if you have false teeth this is one time it is an absolute advantage. Cocks and teeth don’t mix unless requested of course and then you will require exact instructions, as I don’t have to tell you it is very sensitive down there, particularly if he is uncircumcised. Yes keep your teeth away, you can even close your lips over them to make sure.

Keep Him As Wet As Possible

The other main thing is it needs to be as wet as possible, down there. We sell loads of flavoured lubes that are absolutely gorgeous. They will help you on your way and make it more pleasant for you, I personally recommend the flavoured lube brand Wicked especially the salted caramel flavour. Muster up as much spit and saliva as you possibly can. You are also not bobbing for apples, use your hands too. My escort friend suggested rubbing the shaft gently at first then more firmly twisting your palms, a bit like a fire stick but without the speed and pressure.

Keep His Balls Satisfied And Experiment With Anal Play

Take his balls in your mouth too, humming or gently sucking and rub your finger on his perineum, the little line between his anus and testicles. Some guys like a sneaky pinky up the bum too, especially when it is near cum time, the more adventurous and experienced amongst you might like to gently pull out anal beads during the money shot.

Use Different Areas Of The Mouth

Start as gently on his most sensitive areas as you would on your own, use your tongue, roof, and sides of your mouth. It is in his interest to let you know what he likes, so he will probably send you signals if he wants it firmer. Stay in control.

Always Stay Safe

Two other quick tips, don’t let him fuck your mouth and push your head onto his dick if it isn’t your thing.  To be honest, and I might be wrong, but this is the stuff that readily available free internet porn sells us as the norm. Beware of a guy that grabs hold of your ears… (Yes, that happened to me once).

Ask Him What He Likes

As I said before, all men are unique so ideally ask him what he likes, good sex is a process of discovery about each other. If you are intent on deep throat action, then I suggest practice on a dildo from our adult stores.

Try Gagging

You are not expected to be a sword swallower and some guys love it when you gag, never be embarrassed, it makes them think they have a massive cock.

Remember To Breathe

Try to breathe through your nose too so you don’t have to come up for air too often.

Experiment With Temperature Play

Make it fun, experiment with temperature, drinking a mouthful of hot tea, spitting it back and resuming the action, alternate tea with iced water.

Should You Spit Or Swallow?

When it is time to cum then there is the question of whether you want to spit or swallow. If you spit then make sure you have a tissue nearby. If he wants you to swallow but you really don’t want to but at the same time you want to please him, just pretend and let it all dribble out of the side of your mouth like a porn star. You can always say I really want you to cum on my tits. If you do swallow then that is all good, although he had better be willing to kiss you afterwards!

Oral sex
Image: Woman licking a cherry

Author: Emily is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not!

Dr. Stacy, Help Me! I’m A Sexless Cuckold Wanting Sex

Man in a chastity device

This month Adultsmart’s clinical sexologist and certified sex coach Dr. Stacy Friedman has answered three questions which were anonymously sent in to askasexologist@gmail.com. Be sure to read them, who knows she may have answered on of yours!


So for the last few years, my wife and I have been in a cuckold relationship that started with my chastity fetish and she escalated it.  A year and a half ago, she decided that I would be sex free besides using my tongue.  I was upset at first but she convinced me it was for the best.  My problem now is that I don’t think I can handle never having sex with her again as I ache for it constantly.  My question is after all this time of being pussy free and her fucking whoever she wants, how can I talk her into letting me have sex again?

Dr. Stacy Friedman’s Answer

For those not aware, a cuckold relationship is one where a man encourages his wife to have sex with other men because it brings him pleasure. The husband’s “victim” role is definitely a major element of the kink. Communication is very important in any relationship, so if something bothers you about your sexual practice it would benefit you to bring it up in a conversation about your needs with your partner.  If she isn’t willing to listen or respect your concerns then you aren’t in a balanced relationship and someone will be settling or continue to feel unsatisfied. When in a cuckold relationship, the person who is the cuckold (meaning you) can feel pleasure by being humiliated and submissive but only if both parties consent to this agreement.  This fetish fantasy doesn’t work when the cuckold is being humiliated against their will and their own needs are not being met.  If your marriage will continue to work without resentment or frustration, your concerns need to be discussed and a compromise found.  If you still want to be in a cuckold relationship then discussing some changes that can help both of you be satisfied can be imperative or unfortunately your marriage may not end well.


I cannot satisfy my wife, as my penis is too small.  I have tried penis pumps but the result did not last.  I tried stretcher too but it was painful and nothing was different after a month.  Is there a way to get a bigger penis?

Dr. Stacy Friedman’s Answer

Unfortunately, you have the size that you were born with unless you try a few things such as what you have mentioned.  The penis pump is not meant to have a lasting effect, it just offers enough help for the time you are being intimate.  If the stretcher is painful then obviously you shouldn’t continue to use it but even if you do use it, you probably won’t get much larger than another inch or so.  Most women appreciate the girth more than the length so it is more filling in their vaginal canal.  You can use a cock ring on your penis which can help keep the blood blow in which can help with some thickness.  Make sure to use lube prior to putting the ring on so you don’t pull your skin.  Also, it isn’t all about the size that makes a woman happy or pleased.  You can learn different techniques that will help increase her satisfaction such as working on oral, using your fingers more by touching in a soft and slow way.  While you are having intercourse you can also help with pleasure by using a toy to stimulate the clit at the same time so it isn’t as focused on the penis size.  There are some adult products such as penis sleeves that are made with silicone or jelly material that can increase some length or girth during intercourse so maybe try some of those.  Make sure to try and communicate with your partner as to what they like and need to feel satisfied and you may be surprised that it doesn’t have as much to do with a larger penis but the way you take your time and focus on foreplay and allowing your partner to enjoy the connection and touch between the two of you.

Cock ring with a remote control
Image: NU Sensuelle Remote Control Rechargeable Cock Ring


During oral sex, can sperm be swallowed?

Dr. Stacy Friedman’s Answer

Yes, it is safe to swallow sperm (also called semen). The choice to spit or swallow is a very personal one and there is nothing wrong with either answer. Before you do decide to swallow semen, you should make sure your partner is safe from any sexually transmitted infections so you aren’t taking the chance to transmit any infection to yourself. Semen is mostly water and also contains some amino acids, protein, zinc, calcium, sugars such as glucose and fructose as well as Vitamin C and a few other nutrients. The different diet that someone has will determine the taste or lack of taste that it can have.  The more fruits and vegetables you have, the better or more mild the semen will taste, such as pineapple or fruit juices. Some studies have even shown that semen, when entered through the vagina into the bloodstream is actually considered an anti-depressant so swallow away if you want to feel happier! I don’t know how true that really is but it doesn’t hurt to try.

If you would like to ask Dr. Stacy Friedman anything about sexual lifestyle, health and wellness, be sure to send in your question to askasexologist@gmail.com and she may answer one of your questions in a full length article that will be published anonymously on Adultsmart’s blog.

Would you like free professional advice from a Clinical Sexologist & Certified Sex Coach? Dr. Stacy Friedman may answer your question for FREE in a featured article on Adultsmart’s Blog! If you would like to send in a question please email askasexologist@gmail.com.

Staying Clear – Safe Sex Isn’t Quick Sex

Gay sex

You see him at the club. He sees you. You smile. He smiles. And then he comes on over to you. You dance. You drink. Your hands are all over each other – feeling, devouring each other’s bodies. Staring into each other’s eyes. Lips. Kissing. Tongues flickering. You can both feel the lust rising between you – the heat between your legs as you want him. And he wants you. He reaches towards your pants and feels you – you know what he wants as he smirks and you lean in closer, your lips brushing against his ears as your alcohol filled breath makes the hands on his neck stand up and he leans forward hungrily. You open your mouth, closer . . .

“I’ve had my sexual health test recently. What about you?”

It’s a question that we don’t ask often enough and it’s more prevalent than ever. The introduction of PrEP has arguably lulled the gay community into a false sense of security and it’s certainly something that we need to shore up. PrEP is an acronym that stands for pre-exposure prophylaxis. It’s an antiretroviral drug that an individual would take daily to protect from, and prevent HIV infection. However, whilst Individuals on PrEP might be protected from the dangers of HIV, it certainly doesn’t make them immune to other sexually transmitted illnesses such as gonorrhoea, chlamydia, herpes and genital warts, and a range of other easily transmitted illnesses.

PrEP pill
Image: PrEP

One would easily be mistaken in the idea that the older generations would see less sexually transmitted diseases – however, statistics have indicated a worrying trend indicating sexually transmitted illnesses in the 50-70 category has risen by more than a third in the past decade. So what do the gay community and the older sexually active community have in common?

Many people in this category are under the false belief that they don’t need to use condoms anymore and it’s a recent concern that’s coming up within the queer community with the approval of PrEP on the PBS scheme. There is a concern among some parts of the medical community that argue that PrEP should not be replacing condoms. Yes, it dramatically minimises the risk of HIV, but all the other STI’s shouldn’t be forgotten either.

A French study in 2016 that went alongside the PrEP study found that individuals who knew they were on PrEP (not a placebo) had a significant decrease of condom use by up to 20% of the levels of condom use they had before being on PrEP.  A South African academic study published in 2017 on female sex workers indicated reductions in condom use on people using PrEP. The article noted that efforts to promote condom use among female sex workers on PrEP would be critical in raising the effectiveness of a decrease in STI and HIV transmissions. Closer to home, an Australian study in 2017 noted a 23% decrease in HIV infection rates during the PrEP trial, but a marked increase in STI’s. Gonorrhoea is particularly troubling as drug-resistant strains are starting to pop up around the world – though it has not yet been reported within Australian shores. This research indicates that it is critical to check your sexual partner’s health before engaging in sex.

It’s often considered a boner-killing conversation, but sexual health should come before all sexual desires and whilst it has this loathsome reputation of being a heat killer – it doesn’t have to be. I write this with the knowledge of a true story around a young questioning male who decided to engage in sexual relations with an older man. This was his first male-to-male sexual encounter and he heartbreakingly contracted HIV as a result. This young male – exploring his sexuality – had now contracted an illness that was going to be with him for the rest of his life as a result of having unprotected sex. I’m not here to argue the morality of this case or advocate for mandatory safe sex, and whilst I acknowledge that this isn’t a common situation – it demonstrates how the decisions of multiple people have led to such an event and it highlights the importance of checking in with your sexual partner. One could argue that neither of them knew, one could also argue that they should have worn protection – but as you’d know reading this, in the heat of the moment these questions come second to the driving factor of sexual arousal and desire.

Safe sex isn’t quick sex. It’s not about lust, it’s not about the heat of the moment.  You shouldn’t be asking the question in the club whilst you’re dancing, and you certainly shouldn’t be asking in the toilet when you’re on your knees with his dick in your mouth – so when is a good time?

Ideally, you shouldn’t have the conversation when you’re aroused. Though I recognise the difficulty for some people in this especially when it comes to situational sex that arises through partying, clubbing and other events. It can simply be a quick statement and question of ‘I’ve had my last sexual health check recently – when was yours?’ If they can’t remember, or won’t disclose, then you might want to reconsider your chosen playmate for the night and it might just be time to head home. In such situational sex circumstances, it would be best to ALWAYS wear a condom.

In an ideal situation, you’d want to be having the conversation once you realise that there’s an attraction. Where you can both sit down without interruptions and ask a similarly phrased question. You need to remember that talking about one’s sexual health involves the disclosure of their last sexual health check, whether they’ve had an STI and whether they’ve been treated for it – it doesn’t involve sexual partner history or any form of judgement on previous choices made. There’s no right A-B-C to having the conversation – but keeping it free from accusations and judgement will certainly make it go a lot easier – remembering that it’s about ensuring each other’s safety, and not a personal inquisition. If you have concerns, politely and gently, bring them up or suggest that you go and get checked together. I assure you, knowing that you’re both sexually clear will allow you to have stress-free check and will eliminate the need to awkwardly visit the doctor later on for questions or an urgent check for that night where you just didn’t put it on.

Author: Stephen Smith – BA Of Social Sciences, M.Ed

Stephen is a cis-gendered gay male who spends far too much time with his two cats and eating tim tams. A self-identified sex-positive advocate he cares deeply about gender equality, disabilities, sexual education and social issues. Opinionated and bold he isn’t afraid to speak his mind and say what others won’t. With a yearning for knowledge and experience in all things relating to sex, he is a prolific writer that has developed the content for a myriad of informative Sexual Health and Wellness websites.

Stephen’s articles and writings tends to focus on social issues, sexual education, queer issues and all things fetish and absurd. He comes qualified with the completion of a double Bachelor degree in Social Sciences and literature, and a Masters in Education.

9 Hot Ways To Spice Up Your Love Life

Couple having foreplay

If you have been married or dating for a while now, you probably would not describe your sex life as being what it used to be.  Chances are, it’s not quite as exciting and fulfilling as it used to be.  Though your sex life might have started out as hot as a habanero pepper you have likely ended up in the pepper range. However, the good news is you do not have to stay in this range.  You can add some heat, excitement, and fun to your love life.  “Dinner and a movie” is the classic date, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t get boring. Whether you’ve been dating your partner for weeks or for years, it’s important to make sure to spice up your relationship every once in a while.  Even if you’re just friends with benefits, you can look to one of the below suggestions to help keep things spicy.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Always doing the same thing? Try something that you both have never done before, like scuba diving or even a painting class. It doesn’t have to be something scary like sky diving (although that’s a great option!) but anything out of your normal routine will be exciting and feel sexy.

Repeat The Past

Remember your first date? Of course you do, and you probably remember all of the feelings and emotions that went along with it. If you’re trying to keep things interesting, why not repeat that first date? It obviously worked at the time, so who knows how much you’ll enjoy it now.

Couple at the park
Image: Couple Eskimo kissing

Change Something

Most spouses fall into a habit of doing the same old thing all the time, for instance, having sex in the bedroom.  This is not good, repetition gives way to boredom, mix things up.  Every time you have sex, change something, perhaps the location.  You don’t have to go to a hotel, you can have sex in the dining room or on the floor!

Introduce New Sex Toys

If you’re stuck in the same routine in the bedroom you can get really bored and introducing something different like sex toys can really spice things up.  You don’t have to jump straight into whips and chains but start somewhere.  Buy a vibrator or a dildo and test it out.  Just have a play with it, make it fun.  Buy a fantasy costume like a nurse or French maid.  If it’s with someone you trust, why not try some fluffy hand cuffs and let the other person do whatever they want to you (within reason obviously).

Make Sex Fun With Public Play

Vibrating panties can be a great way to spice things up.  Vibrating panties allow you to have your partner control a vibrator that’s hidden in your panties either via a remote control or a phone app.  That way you could be in a park or anywhere public and your partner can give you an orgasm.  I wouldn’t jump straight into this though, test out some vibrators and dildos before you move on to something a little kinkier like vibrating panties.  To find out more about vibrating panties, check out Vibrating Panties – The ultimate guide.

Talk About It

This might be hard but it can bring you closer together to open up and talk about your sex life.  Poor communication has been the source of many problems in a marriage.  So don’t go bottling things up, let your partner know how you feel and what you think.  This will show them that you value the marriage as well as your sex life.  Also, listen to what they have to say. It is not good to assume what the other feels.

Channel Your Inner Artist

Feeling creative? Picking up a sketch book and some pencils makes for an inexpensive date, and you already have the best looking model at your disposal.  Taking turns posing for a sketch is exhilarating and will definitely open up the rest of the day to more fun.

Do Some Reading

Looking to keep the passion alive? There’s no harm in picking up some spicy books to inspire you and your partner.  From steamy romance novels to sultry how-to guides, there’s a whole world of reading out there for the two of you to enjoy.

Pretend To Be Strangers

Perfect for the couple who has been together for a while – pretending to not know each other. Dress up and arrive separately at a bar with pseudonyms and back stories already created. There, you “find” each other among the crowd and allow your alternate personalities to hit it off.

No matter which one of these date ideas you decide to try, spicing things up if you’ve been together a while is important.  With these simple tips, you can get the ball rolling.  Remember all these cannot be accomplished by only you, it requires your partners help as well, what you can do is take the initiative and as I said talk about it!

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.