A Big Girl’s Guide to Casual Sex

Sexy BBW

Dating as a plus size girl has its challenges whether it’s online or off. Though women are supportive of each other, let’s be honest, plus size women have a completely different experience with dating than non-plus size women. Whether they’re looking for love or casual sex, there’s always one thing that’s the main focus: your body. Though having a bbw sex hookup is easy to have as a big girl, it’s important to find someone who’s not going to fetishize you, making you feel like an object rather than a person. And no one wants to feel like that when having sex. If you’re looking for casual sex, good thing you came to this guide.

 

Decide if this is really what you want

It doesn’t matter if you’re a plus size woman or not when it comes to this. Before engaging in casual sex, you really need to think whether or not this is something you want to try out. What are you really wanting? If you think casual sex will lead to love, you need to lower your expectations. Most people who are looking for casual sex are only interested in that. They’re not looking for love or a deep connection; they want to have sex.

 

Now, this doesn’t mean it’s bad. Casual sex can be a lot of fun, and a great way to experiment and explore your sexuality. You just need to make sure you’re on the same page as potential partners. If not, you’ll get your hopes up, and ultimately be disappointed in the end.

 

Don’t settle for just anyone

As a plus size woman, body image and self-acceptance is a struggle. Many BBW grew up being overweight for most of their lives, affecting their self-esteem and confidence. Fat acceptance and body positivity wasn’t encouraged growing up. On top of that, if you were overweight in high school, guys usually weren’t interested, leaving you to think, “I’m lucky if anyone will date me.” But that doesn’t mean you should settle for just anyone.

 

You’re a beautiful woman, and at the end of the day, you hold power in your hands. You make the decisions with your body, and who you want to have sex with. Don’t choose a guy just because he’s the first one or because you think he’ll be the only one. Make sure the man you want to have casual sex with shares a connection with you, and respects you. When it comes to standards, you need to create them for yourself. If you don’t, you won’t have good sex. And then what’s the point of having sex if you’re not enjoying it?

 

There’s being desired and being fetishized

You need to know the differences between being desired and being fetishized. Though it’s a fine line, you need to be able to point it out. If a man is encouraging weight gain, always referring to you as a BBW, and only talking about the size of your body, that’s fetishization. You don’t want to have sex with someone because they’re obsessed with the “fatness” of your body. Unless, of course, that’s your thing.

If you want to have great casual sex, they need to be interested in you. If they want to have sex with a big girl, well, they can do it with anyone. The fetishization of your body disconnects you from the actual sex itself. Instead of sharing an experience with someone, you’re used as a sex toy. The best partner for casual sex is someone who drives you crazy and vice versa.

 

Don’t put up with crap

Listen, just because it’s casual sex, doesn’t mean they can treat you with disrespect. If he’s giving you backhanded compliments, comments about your weight or any other fatphobia acts, you should not tolerate that. Remember, you’re the one who decides who you have sex with. If you’re not feeling good when you’re around him, ditch him. Your body isn’t going to be used as a punching bag. Nor are you going to let someone emotional abuse you. Create boundaries for yourself and stick to them. If he goes over your boundaries, well, as Ariana Grande said, thank you, next.

 

Work through any insecurities

Many big girls are insecure about their sexual experiences which is entirely understandable. Body positivity and fat acceptance are new movements. And when it comes to insecurities, these things don’t change overnight. But you can use casual sex as a way to work through these insecurities. For example, many big girls are worried about the men they sleep with being disappointed or disgusted by their bodies. This isn’t about them; this is about you and how you see yourself. When having casual sex, accept your flaws, and let them go. You’re deserving of sex and self-pleasure regardless of size.

 

Casual sex can be a fantastic experience as a way to explore your body, experiment sexually, and discover the things you enjoy. If you use these tips, they’ll help you better sex. And who doesn’t want to have great sex?  If you want an adult shop that specializes in big girl lingerie come to the Adult LIfestyle Center at Kogarah.

Financial Domination For Beginners

By definition Financial Domination is a sexual fetish, in particular a practice of dominance and submission, where in which a submissive will give gifts and money to a financial dominant.

 

What is it?

Financial domination is a sexual fetish in which the submissive involved feels sexual arousal in relation to finance being dominated, this can come in many forms.

In the financial domination world, a submissive may be referred to as: pay-pigs, slaves, cash-pigs etc. The submissive feels sexual arousal from the dominant, often referred to as Findommes, Mistress’, Goddess’, demanding gifts or money, controlling finance accounts, using a submissves credit card for purchases etc. It isn’t an exchange, it is a tribute to the dominant, a gift with no expectations.

 

But Why?

Many people are confused by the idea that sexual arousal can come from giving money away. If you think about it, countless people base their self-worth on their income, control that income and you can control a person’s self-worth. The arousal doesn’t just come from the act of giving a dominant money, it is the need to fulfill a dominants order or pay for a dominants dinner in order to keep her happy and interested. To have someone control or use what some people value more than anything is true loss of power. The power comes from the exchange, to make a person enter a zone in which you control their thoughts as well as their finances, leaving them emotionally, physically and financially powerless.

 

It’s not as easy as you think:

As financial domination is mostly done online without ever really needing to meet each other in real life, lots of time wasters and fakes are the main problem within the community. Anyone is able to make a twitter account, pop up some photos and start demanding money. Financial domination goes much deeper than this and it is hard to weed through fake subs and domes alike. A Findomme must know a lot about their subs: how much they make, how much a subs bills equate to, how much a sub can gift, sexual fantasies etc. Taking a position of power over someone and potentially their finances is a big responsibility and one must make sure they are equipped to deal with this emotionally and physically as their actions can directly effect a person’s life. You have to verify yourself to show you aren’t fake with a video or photo in most cases, so If you aren’t keen on your face being seen this might not be for you.

 

 

 

How to get started:

The best place to start in financial domination is online. I find the best sites are Twitter and Reddit. There are specifically designed websites such as Fetlife or Findoms which are like social media for fetishes and financial domination. Once on these sites you will quickly pick up the rhetoric of fake subs and dommes, make yourself stand out from the crowd. You aren’t there to beg or do something in exchange for money. Just giving your time to a sub is worth payment. Learn about the person you are talking to, likes/dislikes, wants/needs, all this information will be used later to help dominate. Remember, the better you are in your position the more rewards you’ll receive. As mentioned you’ll have to weed through time wasters, who will of course waste your time but don’t worry as it happens to the best of us, I like to think of every time waster I’ve had as a training session on how to avoid them in the future.

 

Receiving Payments/Tributes:

Financial Domination is typically done online through various platforms, so how does one receive tributes or money? It is never safe to give out your bank details to a stranger online, easy payment services making transactions quick and easy for both subs and domes.

Paypal: A commonly used and easy payment service, but beware, if Paypal becomes aware that you are receiving money for what they perceive as sex work they will freeze your account and any money in it and ban you.

Venmo: Probably the easiest and safest payment service to use, sign up online or via app on your phone. As far as I am aware they don’t discriminate sex work like Paypal does.

Cashapp: Another easy to use payment service, online or via app.

Choose a service that suits your needs, whilst many are similar if the subs you have don’t have a particular one you might lose out. These are three popular and common services within the community so take advantage.

 

Key Words:

Pay Pig: Is (usually male) a submissive who tributes to his mistress and/or buys gifts for her. Pay pigs get sexual arousal from the act of giving money/gifts.

Tribute: Is money or gifts given to a findomme. Tributes can mean different things to different people, but it is generally considered to be giving items/money to ones domme on a regular basis for nothing in return. A regular tribute to appease ones mistress, to show ones servitude.

Findomme:  A professional (generally a woman) financial dominatrix

 

 

Happy Financial Dominating!! Good Luck!!

Sex Leads to Healthy, Youthful Skin: Yet Another Reason to Indulge

Surprising statistics of Australian couples revealed that only 44% of women and 33% of men were “OK” with their state of sexual adventure. Whether this is due to a lack of time and energy available to expend on doing the deed or a mere lack of reasons to do so, it’s alarming, to say the least. If what Australian couples are looking for is a reason to get down and dirty, there certainly are plenty, namely the benefits it has on overall skin health. Because sex provides an oxygen boost to the skin, it’s no wonder that most couples experience an after-sex glow that leaves them looking like pure gods and goddesses. As if you needed another reason to have more sex.

 

The Science Behind Sex and Healthy Skin

 

Okay, so while it’s obviously preferred, you actually don’t have to orgasm to reap the skin benefits of sex. Having sex reduces cortisol levels, which is one of the ways in which it helps reduce stress, but reducing cortisol can also actually help your body produce more collagen. This helps your skin look soft, supple and smooth, which is a huge benefit for even the manliest of men. On top of reducing cortisol, sex helps get your blood flowing, which helps people maintain a brighter complexion. This is, as scientists point out, part of what creates the healthy glow post-sex, and can actually carry over to have long-term effects. In fact, you only need to be having sex a minimum of one to three times a week to begin to see the fruit of your labor begin to take effect, resulting in healthy, youthful skin.

 

Orgasms Do Help, Though

 

While an orgasm isn’t technically required to reap the benefits of post-sex healthy skin, it does help. Dr. Oz (who coincidentally isn’t from Oz) released information years ago that still holds true today. He said that people who have more orgasms can slow down the aging process, stating that 200 orgasms a year can help remove six physiological years off of your life. This is due to the fact that orgasming helps your body reduce hormones that help repair tissue, which in turn helps combat the formation of wrinkles and the sagging of skin in general. Sounds great, right? It gets better. Another researcher once found that, after studying 3,500 people, women who had three orgasms a week looked about 10 years younger than those who only had two. That doesn’t seem like a hard quota to meet, even if you have to call in help.

 

Post-Sex Naps Lead to Glowing Skin

 

Not to alarm you, but lack of sleep is slowly killing Australians. From work-related stress to issues with the in-laws, it’s a well-known fact that Australians aren’t getting enough sleep, and that’s actually one of the leading causes of tired, dull skin. Not only does a lack of sleep make your skin look tired, but it can also lead to hormonal imbalances, which is something sex can sort out fairly quickly. Thanks to oxytocin, which is often referred to as the cuddle hormone, we often feel sleepy after sex. It floods the brain post-sex and leads you straight into that relaxed, dream-like state after an orgasm that allows you to sleep so well. The result? A great night’s sleep with someone you love and a healthy glow the next morning. This is especially true for women, as studies show that women who have regular sex produce more estrogen, which contributes to healthier hair and skin.

 

Potential to Decrease Inflammation

 

If you’re worried about sex making your face look red from all of the action, you’ll be pleased to know that it actually has the opposite effect. The hormone oxytocin that’s responsible for the post-sex cuddle haze also works to decrease inflammation. This is likely why sex has been touted for helping reduce blemishes, severe acne and even the redness and inflammation that’s associated with skin-related conditions such as rosacea and eczema. However, people who have participated in personal studies regarding this matter note that your body’s hormones tend to even out fairly quickly, so to experience the acne-related benefits of sex, you’ll need to be having about an orgasm a day on a pretty consistent basis. Again, doesn’t sound like a hard quota to meet if you team up with a buddy to make it happen.

 

Sexy Skin

More Sex Leads to a Better You

 

With all of the compounding benefits of sex on skin health, there’s really no reason for couples not to be engaging in the act for pure health reasons. Decreased stress, increased levels of good hormones and decreased levels of bad ones, and an overall healthy glow to smooth, supple skin all sound like more than enough reason to hop into bed and reap the benefits of exploring your partner’s body. It’s nature’s most well-kept beauty secret, and it doesn’t seem to be going out of fashion any time soon.

 

I Touch Myself!

A friend of mine has a fetish for classic porn movies of the 70’s and 80’s. He says it’s not a fetish but a preference, I prefer to call it like I see it. We were talking about it the other day, and it made me remember the first porn film I ever saw, which coincidentally is the film that taught me how to masturbate.

 

I was very young, too young to admit publicly, let’s leave it at that. But youth never helped me to stay away from trouble. No, not me, especially since I was such a curious little girl and my friends were just as curious as me.

 

My friend Janet showed me a Betamax tape she had “borrowed” from her older brother. Yes, I said Betamax (I was THAT young). I can vividly remember the title on the tape: VCX – The Devil’s Playground. Having been raised by very strict Catholic parents, the title had a Taboo and irresistible lure for me. I had to watch that movie.

 

Janet lived a few blocks away from my house. We’d both walk home together from school and she’d spend the afternoon with me until my parents came home and drove her home. We’d usually spend that time doing homework, talking about stuff and basically keeping each other company. This was our routine. We were great friends and I guess because of the fact that we were so young, it never occurred to my parents that we would be doing anything inappropriate while they were at work.

 

We didn’t do homework that day, though. We immediately walked to the living room and turned the TV on, clicked to channel 3, and slid the tape into the Betamax. While Janet rewound the tape, we inspected the box a little more: the front featured a Satan-like character, holding three bikini-clad women chained like slaves. The back of the box had a picture of a nude black girl bound to a cross while a woman tore her panties off, two young girls touching their crotches, which were blurred out, and a man with white beard admiring a girl’s breasts. I remember my face getting very warm, my heart racing, and my hands shaking as I held the forbidden box and admired the blatant nudity.

 

Janet was smiling, having an older brother she had seen a lot more nudity than I had and always loved to show off by saying how much cooler she was than me. The tape finished rewinding with a loud snap of the betamax machine.

 

We pressed play and started the movie. It was all very red, a devil and some naked women on chains were on the screen, I guessed they were in hell. The devil character explained that to get concubines in hell they had to recruit them young. My heart skipped a beat and even though I knew it was a movie, I got a little scared that I was watching nude women on TV while a guy was saying that the devil likes them young.

 

Janet laughed it off because honestly the devil character did look funny, and he was not very scary at all. He had a partner demon with him, a woman, that somehow always got the better of him. The movie continued, and Janet and I sat on the couch glued to the screen.

 

Next scene: three young, giggling girls in nightshirts are spying on a group of teenagers who are watching a porno on a projector in the living room. The young girls run back into their room giggling louder and mocking the sounds from the movie: Panting, moaning, and such, but mostly giggling. Two of them climb to the top of a bunk bed, and a third stays on the lower bunk. The girls at the top start to mock-kiss each other playing out what they’d seen in the movie, giggling at the absurdity of what they’d witnessed. The girl at the bottom laughs and pulls her panties down, then grabs a plush Mickey Mouse doll and starts to fake-fuck herself with the doll, mock panting, mimicking the sounds they’d heard on the movie. The girls at the top laugh like crazy at the audacity of the girl on the bottom, then they take their panties off too and start to rub pillows and cushions on themselves too, giggling and making fun of how absurd everything they had just watched seemed to them.

 

I could relate to them, it must be fun to have your friends over for a sleepover and peek into what the adults were doing, but I have to admit, I was VERY taken aback when they took their panties off. I was still smiling though, I couldn’t let Janet know that I was surprised or stunned.

 

The girl at the bottom bunk bed was no longer giggling though, she had started to rub the Mickey doll slower and slower onto her pussy. She had started to rub Mickey’s white-gloved hand in tight little circles around her pussy, and her mocking giggling had turned into a very low and primal moan. “Ooh,” she’d say over and over. The girls at the top bunk were giggling at their friend’s silly behavior now and started to rub each other’s pussies, mocking their friend on the lower bunk. Their mocking didn’t last long, soon they were oohing and moaning just like her. This continued for a while, then I noticed Janet’s face. It was as red as mine, and her hands were shaking a bit.

I’m not sure if it was my age that contributed to me being mesmerized by the sight of Mickey Mouse touching a girls pussy, or if it was watching a pussy on television. But I was intrigued by the visual. It was so wrong, so taboo, I HAD to keep watching. I started to feel a rush of warmth all over my body, it was totally new to me. Janet was mesmerized too, I’m sure even SHE had no idea what was going on. Even little Mrs. “I’m cooler than you because I’ve seen a boy’s dick” was caught off-guard by what we were watching.

 

On the screen, the girls continued to touch themselves, the girls on the top bunk were caressing their pussies lovingly, exploring each other’s folds, parting their lips, and rubbing their clits tenderly. On the bottom bunk, Mickey was still working his magic on his girl, his hand circling her pussy, then rubbing up and down. Then something magical happened, all the girls moaned louder and louder and shook and trembled and collapsed on their beds, suddenly seeming very tired. The scene changed and they were back in hell, the devil guy was talking some more and Janet pressed STOP on the machine.

 

We didn’t say anything to each other, she took the tape and put it back in her backpack. I was too ashamed to say that I wanted to keep watching, so I went to the kitchen to get us something to drink and start on our homework.

 

That night, as I was getting ready for bed, I locked my door. I wore one of my older nightshirts that night. One that I hadn’t worn in a while, because it was starting to look ridiculously short on me, but it looked like the one the girl on the bottom bunk wore, it was almost the same length. I felt my heart race as I slid my panties off, like the girl had done in the video. With a plush Teddy bear in hand I laid on my bed and spread my legs. Remembering what I’d seen, I rubbed the bear around my pussy, pushing into my crotch at first, then realizing that circles was what felt better to me.

 

It felt very strange at first, Teddy’s fur tickled my inner thighs, and the fabric felt a little rough on my tender bits. I kept rubbing and rubbing, in my mind was the image of Mickey’s hand on the girl’s pussy, and things changed. At first I thought I’d hurt myself, or maybe peed a little, but no, the moisture on Teddy wasn’t pee nor blood. It was different. It smelled, felt and tasted different. It was something new, and wonderful. Teddy’s felt paw felt a lot smoother on my quickly moistening pussy, and the feeling it was starting to create on the rest of my body was amazing.

 

Warmness all over my body, delightful tingling in my belly and my legs, that memory of the girl moaning and Mickey’s painted-on smile as the girl guided his hand on her pussy playing over and over in head I had to bite my lip to stop myself from moaning, my parents were still up.

 

Stroking in circles and up and down, Teddy had soaked up a lot of my moisture. I kept going and going and going. It felt so amazing, and wonderful and new. My body guided his paw with more urgency, I rocked my hips and and down into Teddy as something overcame me. It felt like somebody had splashed warm water all over my body, and suddenly I had to move Teddy’s paw away from my pussy for it was too sensitive. It was a strange mixture of overwhelming pleasure and pain. I could not stop myself from trembling and shaking on the bed, from both orgasm and nerves.

 

I remembered the girls on the porno who were suddenly tired after playing with themselves, and just closed my eyes, reveling in wave after wave of warmness that overcame my body and made me shake every time it washed over me.

 

Next morning, before school I spent a good deal of time washing poor Teddy’s now very stinky paw. The smell made me very ashamed, but also very tingly as well. It was a strange feeling for me. I’d much later learn that there’s a kind of shame that turns me on. In the next few months I managed to grind onto all my plush toys, before realizing that I could get very similar results using my own hands, but the image of that girl with Mickey Mouse was so strong that it just made it a lot easier to reach orgasm using a toy than my hand.

Mickey Porn

I never did get around to buying a Mickey Mouse toy to masturbate to, now that I think back to it, it would probably make me orgasm very quickly. I did, however manage to find a DVD of the movie which I immediately bought. To my horror, they took out the scene with the Mickey Mouse doll. I’m guessing the Disney company could have pressured them into editing the film, but they’ll never take away the image that’s been burned into my mind and that taught me the joys of masturbation.

Men Are Merely Mortal Too!

The other day a son of my friend approached me and said that his parents were after him to start a family. Be like a man and do it,  they were telling him. Yes.  Be a man. Poor guy was not aware of how hard it is sometimes to be a man.

Is it a man’s world? You got to be kidding.

 In whatever way you define a gender, a  clear line separates men from women.  Most people believe this line actually exists. Then how do we define a man?  To me, he is that section of the society who has testosterone. This gives him the urge for coitus which helps the unending process of continuing the human species.

That is the only difference. Estrogen and Testosterone. The physical separation between the legs and chest. But on a characteristic level?  I wouldn’t separate out these humans into genders.

It is quite possible for a man to have a man’s physical appearance but at the same time have more feminine characteristics from within, and yes, a woman could act like a man in precarious position.  It indeed is, therefore, cruelty to be restricted in a framework of behaviour and countenance, by this traditional definition.

So are you a man?

Then act Manly although deep inside, you do not want to. A lot of people would not go by my definition of gender and hence their idea would be:

  1. Men should not like Pink (even though his wife’s name is Pinky).
  2. Men should like blue (in spite of he is suffering from Monday blues).
  3. Men don’t cry (even though he has tear producing ducts in his eyes).
  4. They must hold back emotions. (refer number 3 above).
  5. Men are drunkards. (They never drink tap water).
  6. Man must propose a woman in a relationship, with a rose in hand, bent down on his knees (even though he recently underwent knee replacement surgery).
  7. Men always chase women. (They don’t have jobs).
  8. Men are possible rapists. (They are unaware of criminal procedure code for rapists).
  9. Men only have to lift heavy bags after shopping. (So they can develop their biceps without weight training).
  10. He is all mechanics. He has to repair a broken car, change a light bulb, fix a leakage, pay the bills, buy a cell phone for their better half, and fix a TV. (As if women are dumb in these areas).
  11. It is a man who has to earn the bread as per the social norm. ( I can show many women entrepreneurs and CEOs and women workforce).
  12. Look closely at the Display Profile of a cell phone of a woman. You will hardly find her with her husband, except on his birthday.  Now, look at the cell phone of a man.  In a majority of cases, he invariably has his wife alongside him. (This is true).

People (read women) always assume that because men have a pair of testicles, life must be much easier for them. Is it? No. Most painful part  is man has to literally show that his  penis is  becoming big  from the flaccid state and becomes erect and show his orgasm by way of spilling semen,  whereas all a woman has to do is spread her legs, put some saliva (which is readily available) and fake orgasm, if she so thinks. Bingo! This is total injustice from Mother Nature. So what is the big deal? Truth is, men are made of the same organic matter as women. They feel the same thing and have the same emotions. If testicles would not have developed, it would have been Labia Majora of a  woman.

Men also cry. “I like walking in the rains so nobody can see my tears “Charlie Chaplin had said.  They cry silently because they don’t want others to perceive them as weak.

Loneliness is also more present among men because men receive less attention than women. A woman perhaps likes a man; she might never talk to him. She might even act cold because she feels intimidated. When a man talks to a girl, she starts feeling uncomfortable, as though the man has sex in his head. He is expected to be at your toes and go out of his way to help the fairer sex because he believes in chivalry, even when it’s not required, or worse when she is taking absolute advantage of him.  Most men don’t know  how to read  subtle signs and women think that the man is an idiot.  Thus men end up suffering from loneliness and depression because they don’t get attention from others. And yes, men need a lot of attention too. Depression and loneliness are real and extremely common among men.

Male depression

Everyone should understand that men –

  • need support. They become elated when she tells him she will be there no matter how long it takes.
  • love it if they can make you laugh.
  • still, want to know that you choose them every day over every other.
  • like women, want to be made to feel wanted.
  • also, worry about rejection.
  • do want to know that they can’t be easily replaced.

Men are not inhuman and are also able to reciprocate love and affection. They just want to make sure you’re there for them, on sunny days and on rainy days as well.

They need you from the cradle to the grave, from the womb to the tomb, from the sperm to the worm, and from erection to resurrection.