A Tight-arse’s Guide To Starting Anal Play

Anal sex with a woman

“That is an exit only” that used to be my catchcry. As a lady with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) the idea of engaging in any kind of anal play made me nervous.

However when I began to working at Oh! Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres my eyes were opened. Now I have begun my anal journey and I’m happy to be on it. What changed? Knowledge. So I am here to share some for any other nervous butts out there.

Cleaning Before Anal Play And Anal Sex

The main issue I hear with people about anal sex is the hygiene factor. And I get it, it was my main concern also. No matter what porn shows you have watched, anal sex has the potential to be a messy endeavour and so a good prepping (prepping is a slang term for preparing) routine is key to a clean experience.

You have a few options but the main two are a douche or an enema. They both do the same thing as far as squirting water up your bum but the douche uses less water (with the look of a big eye dropper, almost!) and gives more of a clean of the immediate and used area.

Anal douche
Image: Anal Fantasy Collection EZ Clean Douche Kit

My preferred method is an enema, it uses a larger amount of water (the one I have connects to my tap) and generally does a deeper clean. With an enema you generally hold in the water for 5 or so minutes whereas with a douche it is normally pushed out a bit sooner.

Image: Rinservice The BUTTler Enema Bag

Both of these products will help remove most matter from the anal cavity and will have you feeling fresh, clean and ready to play.

Personal Lubricant For Anal Play

When it comes to anal play lube isn’t optional. The anal cavity (unlike the vagina) isn’t naturally lubricating and because of that for any kind of enjoyable anal play session a good lube is a must.

For anal play a silicone or thick water based lubricant is best however why stop there? Thanks to some intelligent and thoughtful lube makers you can now purchase lubes that come with relaxant. Basically what this will do is help your anus relax and slightly loosen making insertion much easier.

This relaxant isn’t numbing so you will still have sensation. I think this is quite important when starting your anal journey. Something that numbs you completely will make it difficult to tell if you like or don’t like something and also if your body needs a break or possibly even if something has been torn it would be hard to tell until much later.

My Favourite Lubricant

Pjur Backdoor Anal Lubricants Sexual Health
Image: Pjur Backdoor Anal Lubricants

My favourite lube is the Pjur Back Door relaxing silicone anal glide.

What To Consider When Choosing An Anal Sex Toy

Anal sex toys are extremely varied. Your choice really depends on what you are looking for in an anal experience. For some, it may be just a butt plug that they would like to use but for others (men) they may be more specifically looking for a prostate sex toy. They can come very small, very large and everything in between. The important thing when selecting a sex toy is that it is the right toy for you and where you are up to with your personal experience.

It is also important to consider the anal sex toy’s material. My rule for my own toys is that if it isn’t silicone, glass or something else that I can sterilise I won’t use it. Let’s be real for a second, this is going up your butt and you want to know when you are finished with it that it is clean. Read my article “Material Girl” to learn more about sex toy materials to find which one is right for you.

My Favourite Starter Anal Sex Toy

Anal sex toy by b-Vibe
Buy Now | Anal sex toys by b-Vibe

My favourite starter anal sex toy is the b-Vibe Snug Plug. It is made with medical grade silicone, comes in a variety of sizes and are awesomely weighted inside which makes anal play a little more fun if you ask me.

Parting Tips For Anal Play

  • Relax.
  • Only do it for yourself, it won’t be enjoyable for anyone if you are “just doing it for him”.
  • Take your time, go slow and communicate with your partner.
  • Have fun xoxo

Author: Jamie is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not!

Fifty Shades Of Pleasure With Ben Wa Balls

Fifty shades kiss

Ben wa balls, ben wah balls, burmese balls, venus balls, geisha balls, kegel balls…. Oh my!

Image: Hollow stainless steel

30mm of hollow medical grade surgical steel shaped into a sphere ball and mirror polished, inside that sphere is a smaller weighted sphere rocking back and forth with each and every movement. Double chains hanging at a length of 9cm from the base of the sphere with two 10mm balls attached at the end of each chain.

Is this what you’re thinking of?

Ben wa ball
Buy Now | Steel sex toys by Hell’s Couture

Ben wa, ben wah… any which way you pronounce these or call these the many different names they answer to, what these are, are small balls that can range in size from marble sized to two or more inches in diameter. Often made of steel these little gems can also be made from glass and different silicone coatings.

Using Ben Wa Balls For Pleasure

But aside from toning your vagina, do these little dynamites send you into waves of pleasure from each and every movement?

After the release of the “Fifty Shades” series many women have wondered what these little balls of delight feel like, but many women are often discouraged or disappointed with the outcome. This is typically because their expectations don’t match the outcome, if you go into this expecting orgasmic results like you would with a vibrator – this is not going to happen and you will be very disappointed very quickly.

Strengthening The Pelvic Floor Muscles With Ben Wa Balls

The results these balls give aren’t always apparent straight away, it’s about body knowledge and in another way it’s about having your own little secret. Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles through Kegel exercises can have a weighty long-term impact on your sex life. Many women benefit from having more control and deeper orgasms with regular and long term use, aside from the health benefits of strengthening your pelvic floor.

In saying that many women do find using these little gems pleasurable and enjoyable, and the bonus is the real benefit that comes from long-term use which won’t only be noticed by you but by your partner as well. For those women who wear their ben wa balls during the day and then engage in sexual encounters later that day or evening have spoken of having more intense orgasms. For many women this is due to the fact that they have a naughty little secret no one else knows about, the fact that there is a constant reminder that pressure is being placed on their G-spot is arousing and the build-up can have a climaxing experience.

Other Benefits Of Ben Wa Balls

If you are looking for a sex toy that’s a little more “typical” these balls might not be your go to, but there are vibrating options you can purchase and these might be more suited for your particular needs and desires. If you are looking for something with hidden class and elegance that is more of a tease and a subtle reminder that something is inside of you, these balls are the way to go!

Image: Surgical stainless steel

Whether it’s the way they look, feel or make you feel these little gems hit you on all levels. They are placed in the most sensitive part of your body, so clearly hygiene is a common concern no one wants embarrassing infections or reactions. Antibacterial toy cleaner is all you need for cleaning, a few minutes soaking and a gentle scrub with a sponge or cloth. These toys are made of non-rusting metal so soaking will not cause any damage or harm to your product and because it is a non-porous material it will not retain, hold or store any bacteria but I do highly advise keeping all toys in separate storage bags to make sure there is no contamination from other toys or substances, and I always highly recommend cleaning before use as well.

If you are naturally well lubricated or need a little help, it is always important to consider the use of lubricants, especially with surgical stainless steel sex toys. Although they are sleek, glossy and slippery, lubricants are always incredibly helpful and will make using your steel toy a breeze. There is no lubricant that is recommended with steel toys, any lubricant in the range can be used.

The element of elegance and class associated with steel sex toys and this ben wa ball is no different. The look, the feel, and the thought of wearing this toy is for some enough to increase pleasure and arousal, it has a beautiful smoothness to its design along with a naughtier side with the chains. You can use this ben wa ball in other ways such as temperature play and massage, running the smooth ball over the body is ideal for foreplay and exciting sexual arousal. When it comes to many toys imagination is vital, and imagination is the only hurdle we face stopping us from pleasure.

Give it a go… what do you have to lose?

Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.

Cracking The Whip With BDSM Crops

BDSM crop

BDSM play with crops can be incredibly fun and exhilarating. Dominants and submissives can use the BDSM crop for its beautiful swooshing sound, power, punishments, sensory play and pony play. This article will look into what a BDSM crop is and how to use it for the first time.

What Does A BDSM Crop Look Like?

The handle of a BDSM crop should be long and sturdy which makes it easier to control. Most BDSM crops are made with leather. The leather material is used for a secure and comfortable grip. The tip of a crop is made up of a hard leather in the shape of a “tag”. The average length of the handle of a leather crop is 26 inches and the length of the leather tip is 8 inches. The width of the crop is around 2.5 inches which makes it better for use. The shaft of a crop can be made up of metal, timber, plastic and other materials. Now and again, riding crops have a handle in the shape of a penis so that you can use it as a sex toy too.  Now that is a pretty kinky thought!

The Beautiful Sound Of A BDSM Crop

While a few people go for rigid and heavier riding crops, most people want to settle on shafts that will bend to give that extra speed when being used. The more the shaft will bend the quicker it will fly and the louder the “swoosh” will be as it slices through. It is a sound that is quite a turn on both for the dominant and the submissive in the roleplaying scene.

Dominants Use BDSM Crops For Power

During sex many people want to dominate, command and control their submissive partner with power. The dominant may want to tell their submissive what to do and when to do it. Using a BDSM crop as a prop to direct and point out what the submissive should be doing can be incredibly sexy. The person holding the BDSM crop will visually establish who the dominant partner is in the power play sex scene.

BDSM punishment device
Image: Woman holding BDSM crop

Dominants Can Use BDSM Crops For Punishment

BDSM crops are one of the bestselling punishment devices used during discipline play. Riding crops frequently change in thickness and can likewise be designed with metal studs or spikes for intense and painful sensations. Some practice is required to ensure that punishment play is performed so that every slap with the crop is carefully controlled so that people do not accidently hurt their partner.

A good beginner’s trick to test a riding crop is to lie someone’s hand flat, firmly hit the flat base of the BDSM crop on the hand. It will send a surge of light pain from the confident slap, and a rush of endorphins will surge through the receiver’s body. Their body will produce a small amount of natural painkillers. It is up to you to work out how much pain to inflict or endure. Get them begging on their knees for sex, or if they have done something wrong, punish them in bed!

BDSM Crops Can Be Used For Sensory Play

The BDSM crop is a product which can be used for sensory play. The dominant can also use the crop to whip different areas of the submissive’s body like the buttocks for a stringing pain or it can be used as gentle as a feather to tenderly tickle them under the arms for tickle play.

BDSM Crops Can Be Used With Other Products

In BDSM play crops, paddles and slappers are very popular and often used in conjunction with bondage gear like restraints and gags. Watch a porn DVD or read a naughty book then play out your sexual desires! Take it a little further and get your partner to dress up in a costume and take him or her over your knee for punishment.

BDSM Crops Can Be Used For Pony Play

Have you ever seen a jockey on a horse using something which looks like a whip, it actually is a BDSM crop. BDSM crops are also used in the bedroom for pony play.

In Conclusion

These are just some of the diverse ways it can used for making BDSM roleplay that much more interesting. Using BDSM crops can enhance your sexual enjoyment if that is the type of sexual play you fantasize about. If you are new to BDSM crops, it is recommended that you talk to your partner and see if they also secretly desire some BDSM play in the bedroom. The truth is there are a lot of people who get sexually turned on by their dominant using a BDSM crop on them. You will find that disciplining a lover will have them craving for more.Save



Andrew is right into the Fet Lifestyle and enjoys BDSM. He has written about these subjects in many arena’s and is an expert at Shibari. He shares his knowledge by working with Adultsmart a sex toy store. Enjoy the descriptive and educational articles he has written.

Sex Toy Companies Doing It Right: Fun Factory

Inclusive sex toy company

Welcome to our second instalment of “Sex Toy Companies Doing It Right”. Last time we discussed the innovative LELO sex toy company and this week we are going to be learning about the German based company Fun Factory.

“Sold as novelty only” this is a statement that graces most of the adult toy packaging on the market (even the higher end stuff) however you won’t find this on a Fun Factory box for them there is nothing novel about what they make. The “sold as novelty only” disclaimer is put on most toys, not because the manufactures don’t know what you are actually using them for but as a way for them to mitigate liability for their product. Meaning that if it hurts you, or causes any problems they can say, “well that’s not what we intended for it to be used for”. Fun Factory doesn’t do this. They know what you are using the toy for and how they mitigate their liability is by making excellent quality toys.

It was this single fact that turned my head towards the Fun Factory range, I then started learning about them, playing with them, selling them and I was in love! Fun Factory started in 1996 by two recent university grads named Dirk Bauer and Michael Pahl. They noticed a gap in the market for high quality, female focused approachable toys and decided to do something about it. Everything from Fun Factory comes from their factory on the banks of Weser River in Germany. From design through to production, packaging, distribution and all marketing comes from their dedicated work force of 120 people.

Fun Factory's sex toy manufacturing plant
Image: The Fun Factory, Factory!

When you first meet a Fun Factory toy and hold it in your hand the love affair begins. The first time I touched one of their vibes (The Miss Bi vibe – my personal favourite) I knew I was a goner. The quality of the toy, the ergonomics and the user interface all make for an immediate connection with the toy, meaning that you don’t really have much of an awkward getting to know you phase (unlike that last tinder date).

Now you can’t really talk about Fun Factory without mentioning just that… the Fun! These toys are bright and quirky looking. Attempting to steer away from the traditional penis looking style they choose interesting shapes that look great and feel even better! Made out of high quality body safe silicone, Fun Factory toys are waterproof and are rechargeable.

Fun Factory is one of the most inclusive sex toy brands I have encountered, they make toys for everyone, prostate massagers, vegan strap on belts with interchangeable dongs, couple toys, anal toys, bullets… you name it Fun Factory probably makes it.

My Favourite Fun Factory Sex Toys

“But with all that choice what do I get?” I hear you ask, well here are my favourites:


As a more petite woman downstairs (sorry for the personal info) I love the MISS Bi because she is just the right size. Often many women find that their sex toys are a bit to large (a kind of eyes too big for your stomach situation when they purchase it) and because of this they aren’t getting the best function from it. Fun Factory knows this and created the MISS Bi vibe. The wide clitoral stimulation pad makes it easy to get in just the right spot and the deliciously curved shaft is all you need for incredible g-spot stimulation.

Rabbit vibrator
Image: Fun Factory Miss Bi


This silicone dong is so much fun! It has 3 weights inside of it that create a dynamic sensation when used (it is also fun to just shake on its own without any sex, it could be the new fidget spinner!) The Bouncer has a strong suction cup and will fit into most harnesses but it will do best in the beautifully made Fun Factory Strap And Bound Invisible Denim Harness which is also vegan friendly. The Bouncer is also another example of Fun Factory attempting to steer away from overly penis looking type stuff.

Image: Fun Factory Bouncer


This is one of Fun Factory’s male toys; it is a prostate toy that can be used in a variety of different ways and configurations. This super flexible silicone toy lets your imagination run wild with possibilities. My tip, insert the shorter end for prostate stimulation and use the larger hook as a taint and ball massager. He’ll thank you.

Prostate and perineum massager
Buy Now | Sex Toy Store With Fun Factory Products

Author: Jamie is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not!

Why You Really Need A Dildo

Shocking dildo facts

Sex should be enjoyable, fun, creative, versatile and mind blowing. So, instead of relying on traditional sex, expand your horizons by exploring your body with a sex toy like a dildo. This article will go into depth about everything you have ever needed to know about dildos.

Where does the word dildo originate?

The beginnings of the word dildo is quite baffling. Interestingly enough, the dildo is widely recognized to have originated from the word diletto which is an Italian word for:

“a lady’s pleasure”

When were dildos first invented?

Dildos were one of the first sex toys types created. They were found as far back as 29, 000 BC in Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm in Germany. As science and technology has advanced over the years, almost every kind of adult lifestyle product that we use has been improved in some way but the humble Dildo has remained one of the most effective and reliable sex toys available.

What is a dildo?

A dildo is a type of sex toy with a phallic or non-phallic shape that is used to provide pleasurable stimulation to women and men. Dildos come in a large range of different shapes, colours, textures, sizes and materials. They range in sizes from as tiny as a finger to much larger than a human’s fist! The large range ensures that the fetishes and fantasies of a wide consumer preference is catered for.

Dual density dildo
Image: Tantus Flurry
Metal dildo
Image: Chrome Crescent Double Ended Dildo

Who can use a dildo?

There is nothing wrong with dildo play, dildos have been used for thousands of years by women and men of all sexualities. However, men can only use a dildo for anal play if it is made with a base.

What erogenous zones does the dildo stimulate?

A dildo can provide pleasure to a woman’s g-spot and a-spot, it can also provide pleasure to a man’s p-spot. Since dildos are made with varied shapes and sizes, they can reach spots that the average penis cannot which can give you an unbelievable pleasurable experience. Dildos can be used during mutual masturbation and foreplay to massage along different parts of the body including the clitoris, penis and scrotum.

Strap-on and harness compatible dildos can be worn around the waist and used on a lover for a penetrative experience. There are also dual ended dildos that can be used to pleasure the vagina and anus at the same time, some of them can be used by two people at the same time in a “see-saw” movement.

What materials are dildos made with?

Dildos can be made with an assortment of materials like silicone, surgical steel, glass, stone, wood, ABS hard plastic, TPE, TPR, genuine feel rubber and jelly. Unlike men, these sex toys always stay as hard as the material that they are made from. All these different kinds of materials have their own advantages and disadvantages. The best dildo material for you will depend on your own individual preferences. Sometimes it can take a bit of experimentation to find out what you really like.

Companies like Doc Johnson and Tantus have made dildo’s that have dual density layers which provide the feeling of realistic sex. Dildos with dual layers often have a hard inner layer of silicone and a soft outer layer of silicone. They are said to feel absolutely amazing especially when paired with a sex toys unique design and textures.

You can also find companies like BS Atelier in Madrid, LAID from Norway and Fun Factory in Germany who make their products from body safe and non-porous materials like pure silicone, glass and metal. To top that off, Fun Factory sex toys are made with even more functions including rolling massage balls.

Are dildos made with body safe materials?

When dildos were originally produced they were made with rubber and jelly that contained phthalates which are toxic to the body. Phthalates is a type of chemical used to make hard material soft, clear and flexible. With the knowledge that these materials were made with harsh chemicals, most adult lifestyle companies decided to only use materials that are body safe. But you will need to check whether the product you are planning on purchasing is body safe.

Are dildos safe?

Yes, dildos are definitely safe to use. There is no medical evidence to prove that dildos are harmful or have serious side effects to a person. The only thing we can guarantee you though, is that you will be addicted to them. The amount of pleasure obtained from these gadgets is unimaginable.

Why do some people like phallic dildos and some people like non-phallic dildos?

Some people love using a phallic dildos to replicate the feeling of realistic sex with a man whereas some people love the pleasurable stimulation of the ergonomic design of a non-phallic dildo that can be used for pinpoint stimulation.

Why are dildos not classified as a vibrator?

Dildos are generally used through the manual movement of a person’s hand, body or waist. They are not made with electrical features like added vibrations or pulsations which are features that are found in vibrators.

What are suction cups and harnesses used for on a dildo?

The main two features which are sort after when purchasing a dildo is whether it has a strong suction cup or whether it is harness compatible. A suction cup allows a person to use the sex toy for hands free stimulation, as it can be attached to a hard surface like tiles or inside a bathtub so that a person can use it as if it were a real erect penis. Whilst a dildo which is made to be compatible with a harness normally has a flat base which can be placed securely into a harness. A dildo with a harness allows a lover to wear it around their waist so that they are able to use it as if it were a part of their body for penetrative stimulation.

Where can I buy dildos?

Dildos can be bought by or for a person who loves the feeling of penetrative sex. If you are shy and a reserved person walking in to a sex shop and looking for a dildo can be a hard task. We would recommend you purchase a dildo at a sex toy shop online. This is the best option if you want a bit of privacy.

If you are buying a dildo made from a silicone mix it is advised that you go into an physical sex toy store so you can see whether the material has any manufacturing defaults like bubbles within the material.

How do you use a dildo?

Dildos actually do not come with instructions. The designers of these sex toys naturally assume that everyone understands how to be able use a dildo properly. But for first timers, it can be quite difficult especially if you do not know what to do! Here you will find some steps that you can follow to make your first time experience enjoyable:

Be prepared

The first thing you should do when using a dildo is be prepared so that you will be able to enjoy the experience. To do this you will need to:

  • Have your room set up so that you are comfortable.
  • Ensure the dildos you are using is clean.
  • Ensure that the dildo and personal lubricant is in an easy to access location.


If you are a woman you may need to use additional lubricant since they may not be able to produce enough natural lubrication for the experience. It is recommended to invest in a sex toy friendly lubricant like water-based lubricant.

If you are a man you will need to use lubricant as the anus does not produce natural lubrication. The anus will also soak up most of the lubricant so you will need to use plenty and relubricate well before it dries out. It is recommended that men invest in an anal lubricant that is specially made.


But you can’t just force the dildo in! You have to start somewhere and start slowly. Just like sex with a partner, your body should be ready and relaxed. Using a dildo is about experiencing a personal type of pleasure that is controlled by the user. Burn some aromatic candles, put some mood music on, lie back and relax. You can begin by naturally arousing yourself through masturbating or engaging in foreplay with a lover. When you are ready it will slide in gently almost on its own.

Slow and steady wins the race

Slowly slip a dildo inside, leave the dildo there for a moment and feel it gently stretch your body. When you are ready, control the speed and depth of the thrust to start off slowly and gradually increase it according to the amount of pleasure that you would like to experience. You will need to experiment to find what works for you.

Clean up afterwards

Sex toys need to be taken cleaned and taken care of.  It is recommended to use some antibacterial sex toy cleaner, mild soap and warm water to clean your dildo. Dry it thoroughly and store it in a dark place.

Now it is that easy so what are you waiting for?Save

Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not!