Is Tradition Dead? Courtship In The 21st Century

Old school dating

Sometimes on your journey through life being single for a period of times helps to restart your life. When you are ready to enter into a new relationship the dating world can be quite scary, dating isn’t for everyone and may not always be full of healthy and happy memories.

So if you are tired of dating have you ever tried courtship? Courtship isn’t the easiest to define but the main difference between courting and dating is essentially its purpose. People date for various reasons, but courting has a purpose and that is an underlying assumption that they will marry.

Guidelines to courtship

Despite the fact that it seems to be a very old-fashioned approach to a style of dating it is actually widely accepted and practiced. Here are some guidelines to courtship:

  • Only court one person at a time, this means no “shopping around” the reason for this is so that it gives one another the freedom to fully commit to each other without the worry that the other one will start to look around. This doesn’t mean that all courtship will lead to marriage it just means that the people who enter into this kind of relationship have a purpose of a serious future. The best way to be is open and direct about what your intentions are, make everything clear and be honest especially with yourself.
  • The man pursues the women, this is a more traditional approach to dating a wooing, and you let the man initiate the contact. By doing this you are allowing the man to lead, you are allowing him the control of the relationship and ultimately the future of the relationship, and thus giving you the option to follow or not. Some see this as the man having the upper hand or all the power, this is incorrect, secretly you always have the upper hand because you are allowing him to lead you and it’s your choice ultimately if you follow or not.
  • Courtship is always conducted publicly, with most of the time approval of both party’s parents and often the man will ask the woman’s father for his approval. This is mainly for the family to provide support to the relationship and able to counsel if they see something going the wrong way. This way the man and the woman are accountable for their actions and level of commitment to each other, relationships haven’t change overly much and whether we want to believe it or not our parents sometimes do know better.
  • These days one on one-date nights are normal but with courting group activities are encouraged.  The goal with group dates is for the couple to get to know each other on a friendship level first before becoming romantic with each other. Starting a relationship doesn’t always mean you have to be intimate and loving straight away by gazing into each other eyes. The initial dating should be fun and light in order to get to know each other first before going deeper; slow and steady wins the race.
  • Courting couples usually wait until their wedding night to have sex, although the idea is that courting precedes intimacy, the modern dating age and culture upholds the importance of discovering sexual compatibility prior to marriage. Couples who take courting very seriously believe true commitment means learning to be sexuality compatible after marriage even if it’s not something that happens straight away. Without going as far as this to starve yourself of sexual relations you can benefit from prolonging your first intimate time together and focus on getting to know each other first. By removing this sexual distraction you can truly find out if the relationship is a keeper or not.

To those who believe in courting it is more about selflessness, friendship and commitment rather than the use of romantic partners for sexual indulgence.

Differences between dating and courting

Courting and dating both have a “catch me if you can” phase, the thrill of the chase allows for accepting or declining of ones advances, it also keeps things interesting.

Dating is about catching prey, and there is no gender roles regarding who is the hunter and who is the prey. The volume of the prey and the time period in which they are court has no limit and it all comes down to who declines and who accepts the advancements.

Courtship is more about the hunt but with more of an emphasis on the prize at the end, being marriage and commitment. From the start interest is shown, grand gestures are often shown but with more resistance given from the prey, which means more effort is shown from the hunter as long as some interest is also reciprocated from the start.

The pace of the relationship, love can happen in a moment or over a long period of time.

Dating focuses more on making fast choices and maximising the time, while experiencing a high volume of partners, not just to keep options open but starting off as casual and seeing where things go. This usually gives both parties the options to keep something going and cutting off alternative suitors or to break it off and move to the next option.

With courting there is a joint decision to take it slow or slower than usual, they both take time to really get to know one another through logic, love and respect for one another. There is a great deal of emphasis on compatibility, attraction and interaction with each other, and each other’s family and friends. Although opposites do attract courting is about finding common ground as a basis to build a strong foundation to begin upon.

Date meets the family
Image: Boyfriend meets family

Modern-day vs old school love, by the means of traditions, customs, values, the forming of romantic bonds and how that relates to today’s love.

Dating usually involves breaking away from tradition, the use of communication, the roles of each gender, and there is a greater focus on individual needs. Although romance still exists more emphasis is on instant attraction and seeking pleasure in all forms.

Courting focuses on chivalry and romantic gestures that demonstrate affection and admiration. First dates tend to be more traditional in order to get to know each other and often involve going out to dinner, long walks and sightseeing. Courting is about tradition and the masculine energy pursing and showing the female energy that he can protect and provide.

Intimacy is a huge part of a relationship, but it depends when both parties are ready to engage on a more intimate and personal level, the hope is that there is a sense of respect.

Dating getting hot and heavy in the bedroom really has no time limit, and tends to happen sooner rather than later. There is a greater urgency and desire to discovering sexual attraction sooner rather than later. Focus is more on sexual compatibility rather than emotional or intellectual, the downside to this is it tends to be more about physical connection and outside that compatibility can be lost.

With courting this involves restraint, but both have the choice to become sexual with each other once a mutual agreement has taken place. This is once a level of trust and exclusiveness has taken place this doesn’t always take place after marriage but once a couple decides on their future commitment to each other.  Sexual compatibility is just one part of the relationship that is important.

Commitment is the end goal, most humans like to be loved, this means giving and receiving. We have the desire to feel safe in the presence of others with one another; relationships reveal to us our level of self-awareness and selflessness.

During dating this isn’t for the faint hearted or hopeless romantic although some people do get married from a one-night stand; there is always an exception to every rule. Most of the time one person wants further commitment while the other still wants to discover and play the field, emotions, thoughts and care are not often handled with respect or considered overly important at the time, and then there are some couples who have marathon relationship that either end committed or agree to disagree and break apart.

Courting is a relationship with true intentions of commitment and getting to know each other on a deeper and profound level. Each outing together is to create lifelong memories and determining factors that ultimately find out the true possibility if marriage is the start to a new life together. There are never any guarantees but there are clear intentions and open communication to this ultimate decision, and if the relationship does advance there is a strong foundation from the very beginning.

Happy courting!

Morgan x

Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.

Needy Women Blinded By Love

Needy woman in a relationship

I recently came to witness a young couple in the “blinded by love” phase of their relationship. I watched them for a while, noticing that they only had eyes for each other. You know the couple I speak of, don’t you? You can’t miss them. The ones who can’t go more than 5 seconds without touching regardless of passing pedestrians or telegraph poles that would usually rip them apart. The couple that spends every waking moment together when possible, consumed by everything about their partner. The couple that will look at each other like they have discovered the most incredible being in the entire universe and nothing could ever be more blissful than the fact that you get to spend your life with them by your side. The woman gazed into her man’s eyes with such adoration and love, it was a joy for me to watch.

As well as being an uplifting start to my morning, I also found it to be such a strong reflection of how I am when I’m in love with someone. I’m that “needy” woman in relationship who loves to have my hands all over her man no matter where we find ourselves. I am the “too much” woman who gazes into his eyes for almost creepily amounts of time, completely absorbed by the beauty and magnificence that exudes through him. I am the over the top, obsessive, crazy woman who is so unbelievably in love with the person she gets to spend her life with and I wouldn’t want it to be any different.

Woman crazy in love
Image: Crazy in love

So many people hold back in their relationship believing that if they fully showed how much their partner meant to them they would run away. I have heard so many women who speak of not wanting to come across as too much, not wanting to be too attached, not wanting their partner to see how much they really love them. Fuck that!! If I had to suppress all that I feel for my partner then I’m absolutely sure I’d implode!!

I believe the issues with this “too much” women come from societal and media messages that strive to supress a woman’s natural expression. “Don’t ask for what you want because you’ll come across as needy”, “don’t cry or get mad at your partner because you’ll be labelled as the crazy girlfriend.” I watched a movie the other day that highlighted how strong this stereotype is, with a man leaving his partner for the “cool” chick because his girlfriend was crazy (i.e. emotional). Movies and television often shows teach young people that a woman who is emotional is unstable and erratic. Come on people, are we really back in the 1950’s where we’re expected to be obedient housewives who rely on a Valium prescription to supress their natural urges?

Valium for mood swings
Image: Valium suppresses mood swings

So many women carry the belief that if they were to express themselves authentically, then they will be un-loveable. They are in relationships where they withhold their truth from the person that they are with for fear of being abandoned or rejected.

My question to these women is: do you really want to be in a relationship where you are constantly holding back your love, affection and authentic expression?

Or would you rather be in a relationship where you can breathe into all that you are, expressing yourself whole heartedly however that looks for you? Afterall, honest communication in a long-term relationship is vital.

You see, a relationship is supposed to be a place for you to share the totality of who you are with another. To think that so many people feel they can’t be their authentic self saddens me. I’ve been there before, holding back from saying I love you, suppressing how much I want to touch the person (Touch is my love language FYI) and it really is so debilitating. There comes a time though when pretending to be any different gets way too exhausting that you decide enough is enough. No more supressing and no more holding back from being anything other than what you are.

I know it sounds a bit corny but if I know anything it is that the love I feel for my partner is a divine reflection of the love that I am. If I am to suppress my love for him, I am suppressing the parts of me that make me whole and complete, loving and loved. Nothing on this planet compares to loving another human being whole heartedly and having them love and accept you right back just for being you.

I really encourage those women who believe they cannot express themselves fully in their relationship to really explore the truth behind the beliefs. Because If I know anything it is that a person worth being with wants you to be your most empowered, authentic and truthful self.

Author: Stephanie Curtis, Sexologist

Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph’s writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.

Why It’s OK To Be A Bad Bitch

Independent bad gal

I find myself questioning this notion a lot lately for various reasons, why or if I should change my wicked ways.

Having recently entered a new relationship there are so many bad bitch traits I am yet to break, and almost like a rebellious teenager when relationship rules are imposed on me I push, kick and fight back. I forget that there are two people, two sets of feelings, two hearts. I’m too independent, self-reliant and a whole year prior of singledom has well set me back and completely impaired me as far as having the skills to be in a relationship.

Woman smoking
Image: I am a bad girl

You see in twenty eighteen your modern day women are no longer solely dependent on our male counterpart for survival, sexual gratification, or really even general validation. In fact, over the last decade, we have seen the rise of a more self-sufficient, equipped and unapologetically bad ass women who have decided to take life by the proverbial balls and not only do everything a man can do (aside from pee standing up) but also to a degree excel above our fellow man in many areas at the same time.

Bad girl with a gun
Image: Bad girl

WHEN IT’S DEEP WITHIN YOU

Now putting all of that aside for some of us being bad is inevitable. For example, I was always a smart student at school, excelled academically and for the most part had a fairly normal well-rounded childhood. My mother was a solo parent, she was and still continues to be a prime example of the middle class working superhero who did everything in her power to provide the most stable and sound upbringing for myself and my sibling. She is my best friend, confidant, and someone I’m proud to say I can truly depend on, however as unbreakable as our bond and love for one another is our differences in personality and overall preferences are undeniable.

In fact, the chosen path I have taken is a gigantic contrast from her life at the very same age.

Not to say that either of us is right or wrong, but I myself have always been drawn to an element of danger, while my mother thrived on routine and a certain amount of predictability.

To say I suffered from the curse of being impulsive would be an understatement.

When faced with the wrong side of the tracks, particularly with men you could almost describe me as a moth to a flame. What makes it all the more fascinating is the fact that I didn’t grow up with a rough upbringing, nor did I have a parent who wasn’t diligent or caring.

Nevertheless, I could still never successfully curb my bad bitch ways.

Mae West bad bitch quote
Image: Bad bitch

REFLECTION

Let me take you to my teenagehood. Yes, those wonderful profound years of ”innocence” being tainted and boundaries being tested.

My teenage years were what could only be described as the first chapter of a remarkably colorful broken down novel filled with dark and sometimes beautiful pages. The not so desirable moments were for the most part self-inflicted, but at the time they also set a precedent for the person I am today.

You see I never blended with kids my own age, nor did I connect mentally or feel like I belonged with a white picket fence society. To say I made a conscious choice to be bad would be in my opinion wrong, I truly believe no matter the circumstance or situation there is a part of my core that would go against conforming to normality. Yes, I made my share of bad decisions and plenty of them don’t get me wrong. Sure, they helped shape me to the women I am today. But at some point I also decided to stop fighting who I am too.

Albeit I had a pretty incredible childhood/teenagehood you could at the same time call it unconventional or perhaps dysfunctional. Being a straight A student could never prevent me from dropping out at 15, and having a perfect role model mother couldn’t stop me from choosing the total wrong side of the tracks. At high school and the tender age of 14 I watched my peers talk about boys and bottles with no experience on both subjects but a hell of a lot of curiosity to try. Meanwhile I was already well on my way to being a seasoned binge drinker and surrounded myself with boys (I say boys because even though they were considerably older than me they still had a childlike mentality.) In life I’m a firm believer you design your happiness or even the latter.

With that I became the pioneer of my own destruction in many ways. I took teenage angst to a whole other level, and despite having a wonderful family dynamic I completely pushed back.

At age fifteen my mommy, my role model, my rock decided she had enough and kicked me out of home. Now you may think fifteen is too young to fend for one’s self. Bare in mind at that age I had already dropped out of high school and was fulltime doing a hairdressing apprenticeship at a local salon (I wasn’t exaggerating when I said I was not your average teen).

By sixteen I was running my own household, living alone and working fulltime still hairdressing. I had adopted a whole host of other bad girl ways, and at the same time began to harbour a resentment for men which helped lead me to the art of not only manipulating the opposite sex but using my beauty as a weapon. Your probably wondering how on earth a 16 year old can know how to wield there appearance as a weapon and looking back I cannot pin point a particular moment I realised the power of the female form but I do know that when I found it I held onto it for dear life and have struggled with relinquishing it ever since.

Devil woman with horns
Image: Devil woman

THE CORE OF IT ALL

Now we’ve got to the root of all my wicked ways (no pun intended guys). At the risk of sounding like an ultra-feminist I can honestly say I detest double standards. Yes, this world is riddled with them especially as a women. I’ve always had the attitude that if a man can do it why can’t a women.

As naive as this may sound vie sat at the end of many heated discussions (Lets just call them that) with the opposite sex including my partner, And there is not a single person on this planet that could ever persuade me that women don’t have the right to the same rights as men in every single way. I’ve sat at tables where it was frowned upon to have a female in the same room let alone in the same presence of certain people. I stood up to then helped shed light on equality with some of the most chauvinistic sexist men on this planet. You see when it comes to gender inequality I almost revel in showing a man how much I can show him up. Whether it be in a game of chess of just a general game of wit. I think this has served as a fuel for my badness in all reality.

Throughout my life I’ve most definitely had moments of self-doubt. Am I a bad person for being bad? Am I wrong for not suppressing my general urges and attempting a life of wholesomeness? Why can’t I just switch off the games I’ve become so good at and leave behind the fuck girl tendencies? But even if I could would I really want to? They may have cost me some casualties along the way, at the same time being true to myself is more precious than putting on a front and lord knows I’ve never been the type of person to fake happy very well.

BE YOU

Now I’m not promoting promiscuity nor am I saying I condone manipulating or extorting men for self-pleasure, what I will say is: Anybody with integrity and a good heart has the right to wear their true colours on their sleeve for the world to see and experience without shame that they will be judged or that there doing the immoral thing, whether you’re a bad bitch or marsha brady with a picket fence. We are all equals. All one. I’ve attempted the road of purity and flopped big time. Tried to be the super happy over-optimistic human being who ended up all but butchering everyone around me from suppressing natural feelings of anger when actually feeling them.

Pretending to be what someone else deems as good or correct will not change your character or truly make you any better than them or yourself.

After years of fighting myself on and off, using metaphoric band-aids and having mental anguish because I just can’t put on a good front so believable that others believe it, or trick myself into believing it too. I’ve finally realized it’s okay to be me, flaws and all. It’s okay to fuck up and sometimes be what others perceive as selfish. It’s okay to choose aspirations and dreams over people who are short-term, it’s okay to have a fight or flight view on life and hurt when you’re hurt.

None of this makes me any less than you, or you any less than me.

As long as I have integrity behind my actions and no ill feelings behind my words it doesn’t make me a bad human If anything you could say I’m just a bad bitch with good intentions.  It is important to take into consideration that some of these traits can sabotage a relationship.

Channelle xo

Author: Channelle is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not!

Loving Like You Give A Shit

Kissing heads

You “know” because you decide. It’s love when you do it. All the time.

Why is dating ONE person such a bad thing before we decide to be exclusive? Why is falling in love fast a taboo subject? Why do we need to act mean to keep them keen?

I’ve never understood why we do all these things to MAKE someone want to be with us.

Shouldn’t they just want to? And if they don’t they don’t deserve us. Why do we have to act not interested? Why do we have to keep our feelings to ourselves? And why do we have to date multiple people to keep our options open? What if we just want one option?

There is a difference between falling in love and falling in HEALTHY love… healthy love doesn’t feel like your falling. You don’t get the butterflies, the accelerated heart rate or the sweaty palms like you do when you fall in lust; it just feels right, it feels comfortable.

Love isn’t just a feeling though, love is something you do. It’s an act and it’s something you choose to do. It’s a decision you make moment by moment, it’s deliberate and it’s a conscious decision.

The problem with rushing love

After abuse of any sort walking into a new relationship takes a lot of clear thinking, most survivors are shell shocked and don’t easily open themselves up which can make it hard for a new relationship to blossom. It is not jumped into quickly either because previous partners didn’t allow things to go slow, they forced you to go fast and rush things. Rushing things doesn’t allow us time to be rational it doesn’t allow us time to have a clear mind and possibly having to protect ourselves from someone who has bad intentions.

Throughout our experiences we have acquired knowledge about how people behave, the warning signs to watch out for, how exploitive people act and the ways in which to not get emotionally connected to them. We learn to be able to say:

“Thanks but no thanks, I am not interested”

And we learn to really get to know someone and assert our own boundaries.

And then it happens… Those split seconds that you decided you are ready to give up on the idea or even the hope that there is someone out there for you.

Real love
Image: Natural Love

Finding healthy love and what it feels like

They then appear; someone who sat in the back of your mind for weeks and it feels so right. You don’t get that usual “lust” feeling, the butterflies and all those dramatic emotions you feel at home, comfortable and just in awe of their presence. They don’t automatically fill all your broken holes and damages. They do more than that, they make you forget those holes and damages even existed, they make you feel perfect.

Walking into love is different because you are walking into healthy love for the very first time, it is now calm, peaceful, tranquil, trustworthy, consistent, present, while respecting your space and boundaries, it is genuine and unconditional.

Healthy relationships are all about communication, feeling safe, trust and there is a lack of jealousy. I love the fact that I have no jealousy present. I love that there is no doubt in my mind throughout the day and that I have the full capacity to enjoy our conversations without thoughts creeping into my mind. Being in a healthy relationship means you can have a deep and loving conversation and the capacity to be fully content with their affection and appreciation of you.

What it feels like to trust someone

Trust is a massive one and the absence of insecurity and anxiety is a breath of fresh air. Being able to focus solely on the greatness and depth of the relationship it feels like it truly is a partnership not just on the surface but behind closed doors as well. I know that he will treat me the same way no matter what, and on every level we will work together as a team. The act of love is a beautiful and a nurturing journey, and the fact that we are similar people is so new. Have you ever wondered what two givers in a relationship would feel like? It is a truly calm, harmonious and trustworthy experience.

People hugging
Image: Intimate Embrace

Most of all, I believe in loving like you give a shit

I believe in whole hearted 100% pure love. I believe in being completely myself in my relationship and my partner being completely himself. I believe in always flirting with my partner and always working on our relationship. I believe in forgiving and accepting and talking things out instead of yelling. I believe in empathy and being genuine. I believe in apologising, and never giving up on the relationship, embracing every moment the good and the bad and always showing and accepting love. I believe in verbal appreciation, and non-verbal. I believe in all kinds of dates fancy or at home. I believe that those who are meant to be together will always be together. I believe love is unstoppable and deeply loving someone is always a vulnerable position. I believe that this kind of healthy love is on another level and the connection brings the most authentic part of a person to the surface. I believe in slow kisses and long hugs at any point in time, I believe in fairy tales. I believe in loving like you give a shit, I believe in always putting in the work and showing your partner that you care, and the effort is always reciprocated, not because you both have to but because you both want to.

I never want to be someone who doesn’t deeply love 110%, I want to continue to deepen my love and my capacity to love until the very end. I want to find my eternal happiness.

Morgan x

Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.

4 Non-Monogamy Success Tips For Beginners

Woman with multiple partners

Opening up a relationship from monogamous to consensually non-monogamous is a life changing decision, with the tools and skills necessary to navigate this transition often unknown. Through my experience engaging with this relationship dynamic as well as through witnessing friends partake in it, I’ve discovered several key points that are extremely important to grasp if you desire to set out on this journey in a way which can mean all the difference between a traumatising or beautiful experience.

Couples who practice polyamory
Image: Polyamory

Boundaries and agreements

Being clear on what is and isn’t ok to you is the only way you will be able to express your boundaries to others. This requires a certain level of self-enquiry and a process of discovering what actions and behaviours you are in alignment with.

  • What are your values when it comes to relationships?
  • What do you require from your partner in order to feel safe and fulfilled within your relationship?
  • What are the deal breakers?
  • Why do you want to open up your relationship and how do you want that to look for you both?

Before opening up your relationship, I believe it is extremely important to know your boundaries and to have a relationship built on a solid foundation of love, trust and respect. These are non-negotiables in my opinion. It is also important to remember that there will be times when boundaries you didn’t know you had will be made clear (i.e. your partner does something and causes you to realise that you are not ok with that). Some things we will never know if we are ok with until they happen so be kind to yourself and make sure you take note of my next point…

People who have multiple relationships
Image:

Communication

I know that the importance of communicating gets thrown around a great deal but that is for a very good reason. Communication is vital in any relationship regardless of whether it is monogamous or non-monogamous. When you are including other people in your intimate relationship, you have a whole other level of emotions and challenges that will arise so learning to communicate clearly and effectively will mean the difference between it working out well or not. So what does good communication look like? To me, it starts with avoiding naming, blaming and shaming your partner or another and taking full responsibility for your experience and emotions. Being able to express ourselves and speak of what we are experiencing in our lives-the beautiful, the pleasurable, the painful and the ugly-is so important. Good communication in a non-monogamous relationship may look like:

“I felt really insecure when you were out on that date. I felt worried that you were going to fall in love with her and leave me. Can we spend some time together this evening to discuss this further?”

As opposed to:

“You are such an asshole for going out with her, you made me feel so insecure, you have to stay at home tonight with me.”

People in an open relationship
Image: Casual Relationship

Honesty, truthfulness and respect in a relationship

If you do not trust your partner or if you cannot be honest with each other, I believe that non-monogamy is going to be really f**king hard and painful. Being able to share your absolute truth when navigating this relationship dynamic is as important as being heard and supported when challenges arise. This could mean the difference between moving through issues or being stuck in pain and suffering. Respect seems like an obvious one but you would be surprised at how many people treat their partners like their enemy with no respect for them or their feelings! Your partner is supposed to be someone you actually like, am I right? So when you like/love someone, treat them with the same respect you would like to receive yourself.

Man with multiple partners
Image: Multiple Partners

Remember to enjoy the journey!!

If you find yourself in a relationship where you are not enjoying each other’s company because of all the “hard work” that comes with opening up your relationship, then it may be appropriate to reassess what matters to you. Yes, all relationships do require a certain input of time and energy to work effectively and this is especially true for open relationships. Challenges are unavoidable in any context and are to be expected in any relationship. However, at the end of the day, spending our lives with someone is intended to make our lives more enjoyable. I believe that if doing consensual non-monogamy comes at the expense of how satisfied you are in your relationship, it may be time to reassess whether non-monogamy is the best path for you both. It is also important to feel supported by other people on this journey so if you are encountering struggles which cannot be rectified between the two of you, reach out and get support. As well as through struggles, it feels really good to have people around who not only support your relationship choices but who understand where you’re coming from.

I understand that consensual non-monogamy is not for everyone. However, there are many people that with the right foundations in place, can really expand in their relationship with themselves and their partners through the path of non-monogamy.

Author: Stephanie Curtis, Sexologist

Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph’s writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.