Having Sex With An Escort For The Very Fist Time!

Hiring sexual services is as common as ever, or even more so than before, and new technologies are making it easier and easier to hire them. We can find an extensive offer of services in any country and city in the world, but in the larger cities you can always find a greater variety of girls and services, as is the case of Sydney escorts.

Surely many of you have already had an encounter with one of the many escorts, but there are still many that are undecided. Because a first time with a professional is almost never easy. That’s why we’re going to try and give you some tips, so you can have a fantastic first time if you’re thinking about hiring an escort.

 

How to choose the girl

If it is the first time you are going to hire a professional sex worker, there are two highly recommended options. The first one is to choose an escort with a lot of experience, who already knows how to behave in front of a new client, since she has surely met many before you. These women will make you feel good and safe from the very beginning, helping you enjoy every moment. Sex with a mature woman is always very pleasant due to the great experience of these.

The other option is to contact and book a date with one of the beginner escorts. It always gives a little more security to see that the other person is as nervous as you, and with a beginner girl in this sector you will connect and have more things in common. It’s not only bout sex.That’s what we’ll talk about next.

Where to Choose the Girl

There are many contacts networks where you can see erotic ads. But, make sure that the site you are using to find and hire an escort is a serious and professional one.

There are really professional sites that are present almost all over the world, and you can hire from an escort in Melbourne to an escort in Brazil.

 

Try to connect with her

If you meet a professional girl think that she is going to be willing to do everything possible for you to be at ease, after all you are a customer. Take advantage of it and try to connect a little with her and make her feel good as well. If you get her to be comfortable with you, sex is most definitely going to be better and more enjoyable. But be very careful with your feelings, remember that it is only a service that you pay for and you are only a client.

Treat the escort with the respect she deserves

If you hire the sexual services of an escort, remember that you don’t have the right to do whatever you want with her. Agree beforehand what exactly the services are going to be, and stablish what the limits are. An escort is a person who offers a service that people want and need, and will try to do it in the best way possible. But, in no case is that person going to have to do as you please just due to the fact that you are going to pay.

If you respect the girls and make them feel good, the service they are going to give you will be much better.

 

After these recommendations, we can only remind you of the importance of protection for safe sex, so we also recommend that you bring your own condoms.

A Different Type of Gratitude!

It’s going to take a while to get there but today I discovered a new kind of gratitude list.
I was filled with resentment, self-pity the last couple of days (no weeks) and this morning decided I needed to take a break and just chill with a long walk along the Cronulla shore line.  I was in victim mode with the usual why me, how could they, why wouldn’t they, don’t they understand – all about me – my thoughts and actions acting in my selfish ways – defects there for all to see.  I had made recent errors in trying to control things, acting out and more and whilst I admitted these, failed and continue to fail to keep them in check.  I had been given  some wise words that I can only be responsible for my own thoughts and actions as mine is the only journey that with gods will I have any power over.  Wise words – harder to put into action – working it is sometimes easier said than done – so caught up in myself.
As I walked, the beauty of the shore-line, clear blue water with waves tumbling, escaped me, this perfect day was lost and the happiness that I saw in other people inwardly I resented.  A young couple kissing I cringed as I watched and felt like shouting at them stop, you do not know what you are getting yourselves into and bursting their bubble – how selfish of me, how unfair!
Walking a wee bit further I stopped in my tracks!!  A sight before me made me shameful and disgusted with my thoughts and actions.  There a few meters away in a wheelchair sat a man with severe cerebral palsy.  Either his wife or carer was with him as I heard her say to him, ‘Smile so we can take a selfie!’  She did not have to say smile for the pure unadulterated freedom, happiness and joy was plastered across his face.  He could not use his arms or walk or even talk properly but here he was in the sunlight of the day enjoying life to the fullest he possibly could.  There I was still physically fit and able wallowing in resentments and self-pity.
Taking this in and reflecting whilst I walked to what I had just witnessed, silently I thanked god for his generosity and grace.  Only minutes after doing so I saw four young people with downs syndrome crossing the road.  They walked into a supermarket and something – some power made me follow behind them.  There was no reason for me to walk into the supermarket – just some unseen force that guided me there.  Mesmerized I stood and watched these four young people interact with trust, honesty and compassion as together they tried to work out how much their items would cost and how much they needed to go home.  Minutes past and an overwhelming sense of warmth and love shot through me whilst taking in the scene in front of me.  How dare I wallow in self-pity and resentment?   Having my god given mental capacities still intact is a gift that I have not fully appreciated or been thankful for – yet here are these amazing human beings that just by their actions praise their higher power for the abundance they feel has been given…
I am thick and stubborn.  Many times I do not hear what other people say, sometimes I do not invest fully in others that are in my company.  It takes someone to hit me over the head sometimes for me ‘to get it’ and I think this revolves around my self-centredness and trying to control everything.  If I don’t control the show why should I listen?  I am so full of myself how could I ever have enough room to fully accommodate anyone else?  This is one of the character defects I am working very hard on, so as I continued on my morning journey, went to my car, grabbed the book I am reading and sat down to read it on the grassy area of Wanda Beach?
As I was about to open the book titled ‘Make Miracles’ a man about my age stood beside where I was sitting.  His left hand was deformed either from birth defect or a horrible accident – it was crushed and only stubs appeared where his fingers should.  In his other hand he held a mobile phone and was chatting, laughing looking joyous and free.  He stood there for several minutes – there was no reason why he would walk to where I was sitting, there was no reason he would stand beside me, literally within arms distance.   But here he was happy, joyous and free and the fact that he had a deformed hand did not seem to even register to him.  He did not hide it – he did not seem to resent it – it was part of him and was perfectly imperfect.  Yet here I was with no disability questioning why me.
So my morning had been full of ‘god jobs’ but as I opened up the book the the chapter titled ‘How It Works’ it described a gratitude list but in reverse and I read it and absorbed it BUT we will get to that!!!
So after reading this chapter I sat and reflected and realized how much I owe and how little I have given.  However being who I am it was not long before again I started to spiral into to depths of self-pity again.  Without going into it I began thinking of myself, and what about loneliness, how do I meet new people – really meet new people as I have always been great at chatting with them, being the actor, always being the nice guy, but everyone -including me – knowing that I was not giving of my true self.  The one that has doubts, resentments, fears, anger, self loathing and a whole list of character defects.
It was time to get a coffee and think about things as I drove to Southgate.  My epiphany ‘light bulb’ moments – and they were big moments – lost again whilst I was feeling sad, lonely and sorry for myself.  I told you I am stubborn and sometimes need a 4×2 to crack my thick skull to let things in, but thankfully my higher power was nothing but persistent today.  As I made it down from the escalator there was a man whose leg had been amputated surrounded by people that obviously loved him.  He was smiling and happy – oblivious to the limb he had lost – engaging honestly with those around him and I could see that this was being reciprocated.  Double whammy loneliness and outlook on life after physical crisis.   Man, was I getting some lessons today.  And on reflection the man in the wheelchair with his wife or carer, the Downs Syndrome group all having a go!!!
So as I sat at the Pavement Cafe and ordered my coffee I grabbed the newspaper expecting to have some more alone time.  As I started reading it two ladies on the table opposite smiled at me and began to engage me in conversation – it was just chit chat, but it was light and a relief.  After I finished my coffee I went home and onto the beach with my kids and a random couple came up to me and starting chatting with me.  Random stuff but we spoke for 10-15 minutes.  Wow was talking to people this easy?
My whole day was full of ‘messages’ that debunked my resentments into the frail and ugly truths they really are.  There is a lesson to be learned in every situation and when you harbor a resentment look for your part in it and 9 times out of 10 the resentment will be gone.
BUT getting back to the subject of a different kind of gratitude list.  The book I was reading pulls no punches and some of the text is a bit dismissive but it says if you want real change you have to ‘do real work’.  Gratitude lists are great ‘but even a monkey can count his blessings’.  If you are going to learn, grow then you
‘have to practice being grateful for everything you don’t like about yourself or your lives.  That includes people, places and things that are happening now or happened before.  It also includes our feelings, especially those we judge as being bad or wrong’.
It goes on further that being grateful for everything does not mean you have to have gratitude for it – you can feel however you feel but those feeling must be expressed in the list.  That you be thankful that you have or are experiencing things, acknowledging your feelings will allow you to grow and learn.  It is a gratitude list in reverse – the opposite.  This list you keep to yourself or share with only one other person – the same person all the time that you trust implicitly.
Look I do not know if this works – I am just reading the book now – haven’t even finished it.   All I know that after the day I have had, and the messages that have been delivered to me – I had to share it with someone!!!!

The Problems With Fairytales: Womens Perspective!

Fairy-tales are the bedtime stories that children have been brought up with for centuries but do they have a place in our modern day accepting society.  Many women both from the feminist movement and even stay at home mum’s are removing many of the fairy-tales from their children’s developing minds because of the following reasons –

Misogynistic Characters

Plot lines that are degrading to women and those with mental or physical defects

Racial Uniformity

Female inadequacies

Prejudicial stereotypes

Stereotypical gender values

Unrealistic Story-lines

Typically a fairy-tale will involve a body beautiful woman that requires saving from a handsome male because of either the woman’s inadequacies or because being in a situation that she was hopeless at resolving and required a strong mans intervention.  So why is this so bad and how does it relate to everyday life?

Marriage Is The Ultimate Reward

Modern day society finds itself in a situation where more people choose to live together as a couple rather then ‘tying the knot’ in marriage.  This allows both the man and woman or any other combination in the relationship to both carve out their future careers, remain independent of each other but choose to live with each other and have mutual respect.

Fairy-tales like Prince Charming, Cinderella, Snow White and basically any fairy-tale create the misnomer that to be happy one has to marry.  In real life marriage may end in tragedy or bitterness and trying to live the fairy-tale may just create a bad dream…

 

Women Are Not Able To Save Themselves

Women in Fairy-tales are generally beautiful (although the hidden beauty may be hidden until their Prince Charming arrives) and live a life of misery and lack of fulfillment until they are ‘rescued’ by their knight in shining Armour.  Somehow this man has discovered the hidden beauty living in capitulation, and his discovery releases her from her pain.

Most women these days are educated, self-reliant and do not need any man or woman to rescue them.  They are equals in society and the degrading caricature portrayed in most fairy-tales is at best offensive as is that of the man who is portrayed as heroic, masculine, take charge and egotistical.  Certainly not messages we wish carried forward in growing minds.

 

There is no physical/racial or sexual Diversity

Slender, white, long flowing hair, beautiful features.  Glorifying these attributes and aesthetic standards places undue pressure both mentally and physically on children and women.  Wanting to be Ariel when you are a Queen Size is just not going to happen regardless of how much dieting effort is put in.

Ursula a plus sized character was portrayed as being antagonistic.  When someone is of the LGBTQ equation the capacity is either for humor or for evil.  Witches are portrayed as women living alone, bitter, narcissistic, plotting and planning and early writers hinted that the sexual persuasion was lesbian.  When a male character was leaning toward the gay persuasion his antics and mannerisms are portrayed as comic.

 

Women Are Given Stereotypical Roles

Cinderella bound to be a house slave to her three evil step-sisters and step-mother.  Belle in Beauty and the Beast being a House Maid.  Snow White firstly catering to the needs of and then being bed bound in a house of 7 dwarves.  What message is that giving to an inquiring mind?

All Other Women Are Evil

The evil step mother, evil step sisters, wicked witches.  All women are vindictive and offer no benevolence or good will or support to other women.  They are only out for each other and when Cinderella or other character finally gets to be with her Prince Charming they offer jealousy, spite and live in resentment.

Fairy tales generally portray women except for the main character living with resentment in the past, present and future.  Living an unfulfilled and unsupported life.   Does this tell our children that they should believe that they will be unsupported and hated throughout life?

The original Brothers Grim tale ended with the wicked step-mother being forced to dance in red-hot iron shoes for trying to deceive the Prince.  Talk about taking revenge to the extreme…

 

Happily Ever After

And this is the big one….  So Cinderella lives happily ever after after the glass slipper fits…  However you only see Cinderella’s story up to that point.  How about afterwards when she finds out that the Prince later cheated on her, or that he does not pick up his sock and undies…   No-one can live happily ever after – life gets in the way.  Even couples in their honeymoon stage will have petty arguments but when a couple are together for a while – whether in marriage or living together petty things sometimes become big things.  Resentments are bottled up and one or both cannot forgive the other..  This leads in divorce, separation or change for one or both parties  HOWEVER… rest assured no-one will ever live a fairy-tale in real life.

Have More Sex for Sounder Sleep

Lack of sleep is very common in Australia with as many as 39.8% of Australian adults battling to get a good night’s rest on a regular basis according to a report commissioned by the Sleep Health Foundation. This means that a whopping 7.4 million people are not sleeping as well as they should. While there are countless ways to try and combat insomnia such as prescription medication, herbal remedies, and white noise machines there is a much easier (and more enjoyable) way to ensure you catch some z’s at night: sex. More than 60% of people have indicated sounder sleep after a frolic between the sheets according to Dr Michele Lastella from the Appleton Institute of Behavioral Science at the Central Queensland University. So is sex really the answer to your sleepless nights? Let’s find out.

Sex releases sleep-inducing chemicals

When you have a mind-blowing orgasm, your body releases large amounts of hormones that envelope you in a multitude of warm & fuzzy feelings. Among these feel-good hormones are oxytocin, vasopressin, and dopamine which can all contribute greatly towards you getting a good night’s rest.  Of these, oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) is of most value to women as it reduces stress which is known to be a great contributor to insomnia. Dopamine, which triggers immense feelings of pleasure, helps you unwind before going to bed while vasopressin is known to be conducive of sleep. Apart from releasing a number of satisfying hormones, sex also surpasses the body’s dopamine secretion which results in reduced stress levels and an increased sense of euphoria.

Everyone sleeps better after a workout

By now we all know that regular exercise is good for us, but did you know that exercising could be the cure to your insomnia? Studies have shown that a stint of exercise of moderate to mild intensity can significantly reduce the amount of time it takes to fall asleep as well as enhance the quality of your sleep. Exercise has also been proven to decrease the seriousness of sleep-disordered breathing as well as lessen the severity of obstructive sleep apnea. While no one is going to prevent you from joining a gym or going for lengthy nightly jogs, you can always just get frisky in bed to reap the same benefits. If anyone dares tell you that sex is not considered to be real exercise, you can point out that sex burns up to 3.6 calories a minute which is more than your average vigorous walk does.

You send the correct signals to your brain

While having sex with the lights on is definitely hot, you can actually benefit by getting kinky in the dark as well. When we find ourselves in a horizontal position in bed our bodies tend to assume that it is time to prepare for sleep. According to bedtester.com, a comfortable mattress is paramount to sleeping through the night. By applying this logic to your entire bedtime routine, having sex on a comfortable mattress will give you the best possible chance at sound sleep as it is bound to leave you feeling completely relaxed, happy, and in need of proper rest afterwards.

If you don’t have a partner, go solo

While having a hot sexual partner to fool around with is ideal, it is important to note that it is the orgasm and not the actual sex that improves your sleep cycle. This basically means that, by masturbating, you can reap the exact same benefits as you would by working up a sweat with your partner. Next time you are battling to fall asleep, instead of popping a couple of sleeping tablets, practice some self-love instead. Masturbating will not only relax you, but the endorphins released during your very pleasurable orgasm will help you fall off to sleep happy and fulfilled.

Prepare for a wonderful chain reaction

While sex can undoubtedly help you sleep better at night, one cannot ignore the fact that more sleep can improve your sex life. According to research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, getting enough sleep can give your sexual response a very healthy boost which may lead to more frequent sex which will, in turn, improve your quality of sleep even more. If sex helps you sleep better, and sleep makes you have better sex you undoubtedly need to increase the frequency of both in your life as soon as possible.

It is good to know that, apart from supplying you with unmatched pleasure, sex is also good for you. If you often find yourself tossing and turning at night, encourage your partner to engage in some insomnia-busting sex sessions or, alternatively, lube up your vibrator or sex sleeve and orgasm your way to peaceful, sound sleep.

When Things Go Bad!

Relationships can be a funny thing.  It does not matter how hard or little you work at them they are always evolving.  A struggle for dominance here has an effect there.  The ramifications may not be felt for years as we hang onto our bag of resentments, till it gets to a stage where we can no longer close it and out floods pent up angst and emotional overload.

Things sometimes seem to be going alright for one partner and then one day out of the blue, kapow,  a direct hit between the eyes.   How one chooses to deal with this can impact negatively or positively for the rest of your lives.  If it is a long term relationship getting used to the idea of being single could be daunting or it could be liberating depending on which side of the fence you are sitting.  But there is no denying the emotional overflow will have a profound effect on both parties.

We have all heard the words

‘We will keep this civil’

but how often do you hear of a ‘civil’ separation becoming uncivil and full of vitriolic.  Especially when there are kids, property or worse still solicitors involved.  Being fair is relative!

What should you do if you are in this situation?  The offered ‘solutions’ many times seem promising but a couple has to be ‘on the same page’ and want to stay together.  It may be too late for one party or both to forgive or compromise.  Unresolved pent up resentments are clung onto like a security blanket to ensure that never again will someone be exposed to perceived hurts, despair, unfairness.  To allow trust and forgiveness is a big ask.

38% of couples seeking marriage/couples therapy or counseling will end up in separation or divorce within 4 years of the ‘treatment’.  Still it is a better than 50% chance.  However when you consider divorce or separation effects up to 60% of second and third marriages/relationships on would assume there are dark clouds are on the horizon.

However it may not be all doom and gloom as it is reported that only 8% of couples having marital or relationship disharmony at their second and third attempt will actually attend couples therapy.   And the success rate is well over the 50%.

A survey from the BBC found that over 75% of relationships experienced a ‘breaking point’ of relationship disharmony.

Relate – one of the largest marriage counseling agencies use a mixture of theoretical models to work through their clients’ problems. Systemic ideas involve getting individuals to see the effects of their behaviour on others – someone who has had an affair, for example, may not see it as the terrible betrayal their partner feels it is. The second theoretical model is a psychodynamic one that deals more with the unconscious processes people bring to their relationships. Arguments over who loads the dishwasher may really be baggage from work (you are really fighting with your boss) or a previous relationship. If it sounds Freudian, that’s because – loosely – it is.

The most popular and effective forms of couples therapies in order of their statistical success are –

 

  • 1) Gottman Method. …
  • 2) Narrative Therapy. …
  • 3) Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. …
  • 4) Positive Psychology. …
  • 5) Imago Relationship Therapy. …
  • 6) Communication Therapy. …
  • 7) Exploring Unconscious Past Roots of Problems – Psychoanalysis Therapy…..

“Love is not a contract between two narcissists. It’s more than that. It’s a construction that compels the participants to go beyond narcissism. In order that love lasts one has to reinvent oneself.” – French Philosopher Alain Badiou

For successful couples therapy empathy and respect for the other must be shown or it is doomed for failure.  7 tips psychologists give for before and whilst entering into therapy –

1. Use “I statement” feeling terms, but don’t use “you.”
2. Count to ten before speaking.
3. Implement the I-Thou.
4. Practice active listening.
5. Connect physically.

6. Meet on a bridge/halfway.

7. Engage in daily empathy actions.

And of course the number one killer of relationships is resentments.    Methods to keep them in check are –

  1. Focus on the solution rather than the problem. This is a healthy and future-oriented way of dealing with resentment. …
  2. Look twice at your analysis of the situation. Sometimes, we hold resentments based on perceived faults. …
  3. Focus on your strengths not the others weaknesses…

Believe it or not, many experts agree that holding onto resentments is addictive.  That if you cannot let go of a resentment it festers and creates a vacuum that will suck in more resentments.  Resentments can actually make the person holding them feel superior with the unhealthy feeling ‘if I have been wronged then I am better than him/her.’  A holier than thou attitude which is never conducive to solve a problem.

A solution to expelling resentments sounds simple but is often hard to do.  One word is the solution though –

Forgiveness

not only of the person that you hold resentment for, but yourself.

Another is

Venting

allows the perceived wronged to put their issues on the table, feel heard and let go.  But it takes tolerance and understanding of the one on the receiving end.

Relationships can be hard work but the benefits of loving and being loved.  Of having someone beside you ‘that has your back’, to grow old with together are well worth the effort and risk.   There is a saying and I am not sure who it is from but it goes along the lines of –

‘True love means putting the other persons needs first.’  For all those narcissists out there – it would be a bitter pill to swallow but one that once taken can be eye-opening and inspiring!

See the follow up article When It’s Done!