Sensory Play -Getting The Most Of YOUR Orgasmic Experience!

Erotic Sensory Play

What I’m about to tell you is going to blow your mind. It’s going to redefine your understanding of sex and pleasure and it’s going to completely change your bedroom routine. I had a mind-blowing orgasm. And my orgasm was that fucking good that I’m absolutely compelled to tell you about it.

Working in the sex industry both in a retail porn store, as a sexual consultant, and as a sex education teacher to young gay men – I’ve heard it all. But one thing that keeps coming up is just how much importance we place on our cocks and the idea of penetrative sexual activity. When you’re young, horny and driven by hormones you have an insatiable need to stick your dick in whatever kind of hole you can find, or have your hole filled with whatever hard thing you can get your ass cheeks on. Your body, your mind, and your dick (or hole) demand that sexual release. And why should you think anything else? Both pornography and popular culture are continually driven to two points – the moment when there is penetration and the moment of ejaculation. Penetration seemingly always provides him/her with a climax within minutes, and from there we wait for his money shot. Real sex doesn’t work like that, and when it doesn’t, many young people feel that they’re not good enough in bed, that they’re doing something wrong or that there’s something wrong with them. So often this begins a cycle of sexual performance issues and other concerns.
We need to change that. Sex isn’t about putting pressure on ourselves, or sexual partners. It’s about pleasure, enjoyment and fun. Mutual pleasure, mutual enjoyment and mutual fun (unless you’re going solo in which case be as selfish as you need to be!!) But what if we took the focus away from the cock and subsequently away from penetration, what if we focused on the body? What if we slowed the whole twelve and a half minutes of furious thrusting (with alternating sensuality and gentleness) to an afternoon of sexual enjoyment and pleasure? Yes, there’s a place for quickie sex, and it’s a fantastic way to while away a few minutes in the car when you’ve turned up early, but let’s hold that thought and picture the following.
His hands tied to the bedpost, his ankles connected to a spreader bar. He’s wearing a blindfold and he can’t see you. He can hear you, he can smell you – but he just can’t see you as you approach with your bdsm crop. This – is sensory play. The idea that the ENTIRE body is a play toy for your amusement. A tickle here, a soft tongue there, a toy somewhere else. Bringing him to close to climax but never quite allowing for that release.  Sensory play breaks the routine of foreplay kissing, oral sex, hand job, sticking it in, moaning and then climaxing. Sensory play has the potential to turn routine sex into something exciting and unexpected. Put simply, sensory play is about the involvement of the body’s five senses; smell, touch, hear, see and taste.
BDSM Wartenberg
Wartenberg Sensory Wheel
One of the most sensual aspects of sensory play involves sight. We all like sex in the dark. It’s kind of comforting (they can’t see whatever flaws that you might think that you have), and it generally fits into our routines well. However, there’s another thing about sex in the dark that we don’t often consider. Due to the lack of light, our body has to make sense of what’s happening through the other senses. It automatically increases the sense of touch, taste, smell, and hearing to make up for the loss of sight and by knowing this you can take full advantage of the body’s responses. Sensory play can be as simple as using a blindfold, or it can be as complex as wearing a blindfold,having them tied up and using a variety of toys (Waternberg wheels, ice, body wands, forks, spoons, feathers, a dressing gown belt, a leather belt, a shoelace – the total bdsm package) to provide stimulation from the tips of their ears, to the bottom of their feet.
So how do you do sensory play? Sensory play can be as much or as little as you want it to be. Sight play is often the easiest sense to play with because it only involves a blindfold. But consider how various scenes and situations can place emphasis, or highlight the body’s other senses. For sight play, you can use things around the house such as the utensils mentioned above that you can get from the kitchen. Or you can use a variety of implements and tools that create a range of sensations from pleasurable to painful. Once they’re blindfolded, once they’re restrained, they are yours to do with what you will (with consent!).

In this way, by taking the pressure of intercourse, and focusing on the body together you’re not only increasing the level of intimacy between the people involved (can be more than two), but you’re also allowing the body to use its senses to heighten the level of enjoyment and pleasure. Combine this with some edging play and a couple of sensual hours and I guarantee that you’ll be soon experiencing an orgasm like you never have before. So think about this, think about allowing your entire body to be used as a play toy – and simply relax and let go. Focus on the next touch, where it’s going to come from, what it’s going to be. And you’ll quickly discover just how in the moment your body, and mind, can be. I don’t need to go in the specific details of what you can and can’t do – that’s entirely up to your own imaginations. But what I will tell you, ladies and gentlemen is that by following some of these little points is you’ll be well on your way to having the best damn orgasm that you can remember.

Stephen is a cis-gendered gay male who spends far too much time with his two cats and eating tim tams. A self-identified sex-positive advocate he cares deeply about gender equality, disabilities, sexual education and social issues. Opinionated and bold he isn’t afraid to speak his mind and say what others won’t. With a yearning for knowledge and experience in all things relating to sex, he is a prolific writer that has developed the content for a myriad of informative Sexual Health and Wellness websites.

Stephen’s articles and writings tends to focus on social issues, sexual education, queer issues and all things fetish and absurd. He comes qualified with the completion of a double Bachelor degree in Social Sciences and literature, and a Masters in Education.

VIP Interview With Empress Mika Dominatrix!

Dom Mika

Adultsmart community lifestyle blog is proud to have Mika a world famous dominatrix with us for a VIP interview today.  She is a half Korean/American FemDom that we are lucky enough to have explain the in’s and out’s of being a dominatrix.

 

​​I have to ask the obvious question – how did FemDom start for you? 

​That is usually a good starting place, haha. I actually got started in this industry as a non-nude, tease cam model.​ It was here that My natural personality and tease-y cam style attracted a lot of submissive men who then told Me about FemDom and what it was. I knew it was perfect for Me and got started immediately and never looked back.

​​You’re proudly half-Korean. Does your cultural background influence the work that you do, and how do you go about bringing awareness and acceptance of your culture?

​I am, yes. Fortunately, as a clip producer and cam model, I have a large audience with which to spread awareness and proper education. However, ​unfortunately, there are many negative stereotypes that surround Asian culture especially within a fetish environment​ that I do stand up against.​​​​

First and foremost, I do have to clarify that I am, in fact, a Dominant Woman for real and not just “acting” like one. I am not sure if this comes from the stereotype that most Asian women are submissive or if this is something Dommes of all backgrounds deal with, but it is a very common question for Me.

I also use My content to combat negative stereotypes. For example, I have several Coersed Bi clips that feature Asian males with large dick sizes. This shows My subs that there are plenty of Asian males with great dick sizes that are even bigger than them! This point, especially, is very fun to tap into.

​Additionally, one fetish, in particular, I refuse to engage in is Racial Humiliation. ​I truly believe that by not participating in this fetish, can help contribute to these negative stereotypes going away (or, at the very least, not keeping them alive) – not just for Asian culture but for all cultures.

I do have a Twitter thread for fun, to feature Korean-pop songs I enjoy entitled, “Playlist of an Empress”. Although not insanely popular, it is something I have fun updating from time to time to share this aspect of My culture. You can check it out here:

Dominatrix Twitter
Twitter Account Mika

​​I absolutely love how you mention elements of consent and negotiation on your FAQ, you acknowledge that it’s important to find exactly what works for the relationship between you and your sub. What kind of things erode that relationship, and how do you go about handling that?

​Yes, absolutely. I think the #1 erosion to a Domme/sub relationship, at least in My experience, is when a submissive comes to the Domme only interested in serving his own fetishes as oppose to actually wanting to serve.

The other common misconception that I find erodes a relationship are those subs that ask Me what it is really like to be My slave, implying that there is a one-size-fits-all. And, there’s not. The relationship I have with each one of My slaves is unique and certainly not an over night process.

For these reasons, in order to handle these issues, I did create a slave school that acts as online slave training for those interested in being My slave. It can be found at SayYestoEmpress.com

​​Reading through various interviews – the word authenticity and honesty keep coming up. You also mention how it comes naturally to you and that you enjoy it. Do you feel that it’s these qualities that make you respected and successful in what you do, and what other qualities are important in this? 

Haha, I suppose that’s true. I think, in this industry, most of the Dommes really create distance and separation between themselves and their subs. I certainly understand this, as there are truly some bad apples out there.

​However, I agree that one thing that makes Me stand out is that I do offer a genuine, honest, real and authentic relationship to those submissives that want to take their submission beyond simply a fantasy via being My slave.

I don’t necessary think My way is better than others, of course. Each Woman and Domme is unique with Her own style and She should do what works best for Her and Her well being and enjoyment. This could be different for each Domme so it’s tough to pin-point a magical formula that guarantees success for every Domme. If I had to try to put a magic formula into words though, it would be for each Domme to just do what is fun for Her.

​​You mention the distinction between ​Domming for fun and pleasure as opposed to sexual enjoyment. How do you negotiate that within yourself and balance what you find pleasurable/arousing to the work that you do? Are they two completely separate things?

For Me, they are totally separate. I am not turned on at all by submissive men nor with any of the Domination that I do. Rather, My Domination and what submissive men do for Me I find very fun, amusing and entertaining.

As well, I enjoy the sexual separation. I think it ensures I remain completely in control of My subs 100% of the time.

​​What’s one of the misconceptions about FemDomme that you’d like people to be aware of?

One misconception that I personally struggle with is that many submissives view Dommes as some kind of bad, evil person. I hear over and over how bad some of their experiences are interacting with Dommes (and vice versa, really) have furthered this belief. This gets further complicated with those submissives that have fetishes they feel they’d rather not have in the first place.

S​o, I suppose I’d like people to be aware that not all Dommes are horrible just like not all subs are horrible. You are responsible for your own interactions. In other words, your experience with FemDom can completely change depending on who you serve and interact with.

​​What’s a moment in your FemDomme career that has really shaped and influenced who you are, and how you do it?

​It was the moment I changed My name from “Princess” to “Empress”. This was a direct reflection of My evolution as a Domme, from someone new to FemDom, to who I am today in FemDom.

​This was sparked by the close relationships I had developed with My slaves. Their relationship really inspired and encouraged Me to simply be Myself fully as oppose to trying to figure out what other subs would like or buy. It made a huge impact on Me, My FemDom style and success.

​​What’s one mistake/learning experience that you keep with you?

I once created a custom FemDom clip that I wasn’t too thrilled about… but I agreed to it because I had never tried it before and it paid well. I also put this clip up for re-sale in My clip store but I told Myself that I wouldn’t do anything like this again. Sure enough, it wasn’t something I enjoyed.

​A few months later, I was on interacting with a trial slave that I just felt really strange about and, for Me, there was a clear disconnect. Somewhere in the conversation, I had asked him what his favorite clip was that I created. Turns out, his favorite was that custom clip I didn’t care for. LOL!

It was here that I learned that I have to only put out content that I enjoy to attract the right submissives to Me.

​​W​hat is your favorite fetish?

​I enjoy most FemDom fetishes and believe I can find a way to make almost anything fun for Me. However, if I had to pick a favorite, it would certainly be Mind Fuck. It is here I can truly challenge submissives to be more of service as well as get extremely creative in My clips.

​I highly recommend My clip entitled Good Boy Reward to dive right in! It can be found here:

Mika Dominatrix
Mika Good Boy Reward

​​You’ve mentioned that FemDomming for you is not a performance, which allows you to better handle yourself. Are there any draining aspects to being a FemDomme and how do you cope with that?

N​o. This job is pretty much 24/7 and not something, at least for Me, that I can turn easily on and off. Therefore, I feel that it would actually be extremely draining if all of this was an act, haha.

​​Financial Domming. I really want to understand it. I get dominating, ​I​ get submission and ​I understand what people get out of that. I also get the idea that Financial Domming is NOT necessarily about taking all of their money and that it is about control. Can you explain this fetish to me, and what a sub and Domme get out of this?

​For My style of Financial Domination with My slaves, I use it an important foundation of submission to Me.

They are using something (money) that could have benefited themselves and instead chose for it to benefit Me. There is hardly a greater form of submission in My opinion.

​With My slaves, W/we go over budgeting together (which is also apart of the SayYesToEmpress.com e-course) to ensure their money is used most effectively to sustain themselves and their life goals as well as their servitude to Me. ​

​​You offer a dick rating service – what can people expect from submitting their dick to you?

​I do, haha, almost by necessity as there are so many submissives interested in My thoughts about their “package”. ​I offer 2 dick ratings, a basic one or a premium one. The basic one is My rating and a few comments. The premium one includes My rating with a more in-depth explanation.

The ratings, along with many other items, are available on My store: EmpressMika.com/store

You also run DommeSource.com. What is this and how does this benefit the FemDom community? 

I do, yes.

Back when I started in FemDom, there weren’t really any resources to turn to so that inspired Me to create DommeSource. It is the ultimate resource site for both online Dommes and subs.

It’s my hope that it helps newer Dommes get started as well as newer subs to have a better idea of what submission is. I also hope it helps bridge the gap between Dommes and subs so that the right subs can find the right Domme.

Mika Talks
VIP Interview Mika

​​Final words and thoughts on FemDomme that you’d like people to know?

​FemDom is getting more and more popular! 🙂 ​I’m happy to see more and more people trying it out and invite you to do the same if you haven’t already.

Thanks for having Me!

If you want more details about Mika why not check her out at her website –

Mika dominatrix site
Mika Online

Stephen is a cis-gendered gay male who spends far too much time with his two cats and eating tim tams. A self-identified sex-positive advocate he cares deeply about gender equality, disabilities, sexual education and social issues. Opinionated and bold he isn’t afraid to speak his mind and say what others won’t. With a yearning for knowledge and experience in all things relating to sex, he is a prolific writer that has developed the content for a myriad of informative Sexual Health and Wellness websites.

Stephen’s articles and writings tends to focus on social issues, sexual education, queer issues and all things fetish and absurd. He comes qualified with the completion of a double Bachelor degree in Social Sciences and literature, and a Masters in Education.

What kind of SEXUAL DEVIANT have I become?

IQ Test For Bondage

It’s been about 6 months since I took the kink personality test on www.bdsmtest.org and I was curious to see if anything had changed with my results, since there is so much else in my life that has.

 

I think I’ve mentioned in a previous post or two, how surprised I was at the accuracy of the test results in the past. I wasn’t disappointed this time around either. There were a few surprising differences in some of the categories. You’ll have to keep reading to find out what they were.

 

So, for those who haven’t read of my previous posts, there have been some major shake-ups happening in my life since I joined the Oh! Zone family back in February this year. The main one being the making of a tiny human from scratch which virtually halted my deeper exploration of the BDSM lifestyle, since a considerable amount of the things that I would like to try but are not safe during pregnancy.

 

I’m not sure if it’s my change in lifestyle from wild experimentalist to mummy to be, or if it’s the broadening of my sexual knowledge through reflection on scenes that I have played with various partners, blog submissions from my colleagues, researching topics for my own posts or from picking the brains of customers who are already immersed in the lifestyle, that has the greatest influence on the change in my results.

 

If you’re not familiar with the personality test on BDSM.org, you can choose to gain insight in one of three ways: submissive questions only, dominant questions only or the full test (which I recommend taking if you’re a first-timer) which contains both submissive & dominant related questions. The results will then give you a percentage based on your answers to the questions. I have seen everything from 99% vanilla to 100% submissive to 100% sadist.

 

The results summary will give you a percentage on the following: Submissive, Rope Bunny, Experimentalist, Degradee, Masochist, Slave, Non-monogamist,Boy/Girl, Pet, Primal (Prey), Exhibitionist, Ageplayer, Voyeur, Daddy/Mommy, Brat, Vanilla, Primal (Hunter), Brat Tamer,Rigger, Dominant, Degrader, Owner, Mistress/Master, Sadist & Switch.

 

Here are my 5 biggest changes between February when I did my first test and August when I took the test again.

 

  1. Pet +30%

Definition according to bdsmtest.org: “Is the property of their owner in daily life. Sexuality is not necessarily involved. The role often features some form of animal play (puppy, kitten, etc.), although that is not a strict necessity.”

 

What’s changed in 6 months?: I’ve come to see this more as another form of being a  ‘kept woman’. In the beginning of my journey, everything was about not forming emotional attachments and just trying everything with no strings attached. But the further from my last relationship that I get, the more that I crave being ‘owned’ by someone emotionally.

 

  1. Vanilla -26%

Definition according to bdsmtest.org: “Vanilla people enjoy regular, standard sex and relationship models. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you’re having fun!”

 

What’s changed in 6 months?: In all honesty, this is the result that surprised me the most. I thought, if anything, since I have halted kink play while I’m growing my tiny human that I would have continued to have the same stance on vanilla sex. Apparently I have a new-found distaste instead. Maybe it has something to do with the conversations that I have with customers in the course of my work day and picking their brains about things in kink that I had no idea existed before starting with Oh! Zone.

 

Playing With Age
Age Role Player
  1. Ageplayer -20%

Definition according to bdsmtest.org: “Ageplayers lie to play with age as part of their kink. They typically take on a much younger or older age than they actually are, or prefer playing with a partner that does so. Attributes and behaviour changes (such as pacifiers, coloring books, speaking in childlike language, etc.) are paired with this, to enrich the context and make it more appropriate for the played age.”

 

What’s changed in 6 months?: I think that as I get closer to becoming a parent, my tolerance for childish behaviour in myself and other adults has lessened and by proxy, so has the appeal of ageplay… Although I still love colouring books, Disney musicals & cartoons.

 

  1. Slave -19%

Definition according to bdsmtest.org: “Slaves completely hand over the control and responsibilities over their life to their Master/Mistress . They go a step further than submissives in the sense that their power exchange is present 24/7 and in all aspects of their life (except for negotiated exceptions such as their office jobs). Serving their Master/Mistress is their primary focus in life and they rarely have limits for them.”

 

What’s changed in 6 months?: Ok, so I think that most of my changes have been due to my impending motherhood. I am finding that I am more anal-retentive and needing to be a little more in control of myself these days so that I can remain a relatively put-together adult for my son.

 

  1. Primal (Prey) +15%

Definition according to bdsmtest: “Primals ae mainly focused on their natural instincts and they enjoy letting their inner animal out during sex. They key part for primals play is that the participants show their raw, emotional sexual feelings during play. All of the labels, roles, and protocols go out the window, and the prey (you) can become a snarling, growling, clawing animal hell-bent on getting away from its predator.”

 

What’s changed in 6 months?: Maybe I’m just a little more feral than before…

 

Seems to me that kink preferences are developed over time and are influenced by life and its experiences. So, even if you take the test just for fun now, it’s always good to retake it every so often. You might find that the results surprise you.

 

Happy testing xxx

Morgan

 

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.

The Bucket List Submissive!

First Time Sub

Submissive One Night Stand

 

Being relatively new to the BDSM lifestyle, I don’t know if this phenomenon is a recent development in light of the popularity of the 50 Shades series, or if it has been around since the beginning. But it seems as though more and more women are engaging in submissive scene one night stands. Using them to tick things off their kinky ‘to-do’ lists.

 

For those who have read some of my previous posts relating to my submissive escapades, then you will be familiar with Mr. K, my Zurich based Dom friend who has been a major inspiration and guiding hand in my exploration of the BDSM lifestyle.

 

Lately, our conversations have been centered around his immersion back into the lifestyle after taking a bit of a break. It seems as though whatever platform he is searching on – Fetlife, Tinder or Whiplr, the majority of women that want to connect are bored housewives who fantasize about having a 50 Shades-esque fling. Using it to cross things off their kink bucket lists.

 

 

Now, I’m all for female empowerment and our right to choose to do what we want with our bodies, but I do wonder if this is a safe way to explore a new found interest in the world of BDSM. Since staying safe in the BDSM world revolves around trust and risk awareness, does one night of play really allow for complete trust? Or does this simply leave both parties open to getting hurt?

 

Take for example Mr. K’s latest sub play session. A young lady who, in his words, was ‘bucket listing’. Their evening read like what’s what of BDSM must-tries: begging, humiliation, bondage, spanking, face-fucking, anal and golden showers. Having played with Mr. K, I know that he has great intuition and self-control, and would never step over the boundaries that had been agreed upon prior to a session. But even I would not have trusted him enough in a first session to let him do to me what this young lady wanted him to do to her.

 

Why? Because how much trust can you have in someone that you have just met on the internet? How do you know for sure that this person isn’t some crazy sexual sadist whose main goal in life is to lure unsuspecting women into dangerous, life-threatening situations that they can’t escape from?

 

Just imagine this scenario:

First Submissive Trial
Sub Newbie

You’ve just arrived at the home of a man that you met on Tinder barely a week ago and have only had a few brief exchanges about what you would like to do on the first night of play. You put that nagging feeling that something isn’t quite right down to nerves and try and ignore it. Mr. Tinder answers the door and invites you in. He is charming and attentive. He offers you a drink, you accept and engage in idle chatter. Before long he asks if you’re ready to begin. He seems to be in a hurry all of a sudden.

 

He leads you towards the back of the house, places you in the waiting restraints that are attached to a bed in one of the bedrooms. Once strapped in, you see the facade of the man who seemed so charming and open when you arrived has gone and his hungry eyes light up as he places the gag in your mouth. He turns his back to you and you watch as he picks something up off of the dresser. It’s a syringe that he has in his hand as he turns back to you…

 

Sounds like the plot of a Hollywood psychological thriller or a case study about sexual sadists in a psych textbook doesn’t it? That would never happen to me. The 3 women who fell victim to QLD sexual sadist turned murderer, Francis Michael Fahey, would disagree.

 

Pushing it too far

 

How do you know how far someone is willing to push you, or more importantly, how does the person pushing the limits know where to start or how to far to push? Remember, you don’t know each other beyond a few messenger exchanges.

 

I know from conversations with Mr. K, that one of his concerns when it comes to new play partners is, are they strong and self-aware enough to tap out if it becomes too overwhelming or to even know where their limits are. Remember, that without consent, most of these practices are considered abuse and the aftermath of which can cause long-term emotional issues for both the sub and Dom.

 

But, if you must…

 

The ‘just for one night’ style of submissive not my cup of tea, but if you are going to delve into a bucket list one night stand involving the D/s side of BDSM, protect yourself by taking the time to research the things that you want to try, set clear limits and boundaries, don’t be afraid to use the safe word/s agreed upon ahead of time, let someone know where you’re going and when you’ll check back in with them afterwards and most importantly, listen to your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, leave.

Have fun and be safe!

Love Morgan

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.

VIP Interview With Steve Callow – Perfect Fit Brand!

Buck and Steve

Today we’re here with Steve, Owner of the Perfect Fit Brand. I have to say that I’ve used several Perfect Fit toys, and they remain in my sex toy box as some of the most comfortable, most fun toys that I’ve ever had the pleasure of using. The first time I got my hands on one of your products was game changing, and I haven’t looked back since. Your company has a unique and inclusive approach to sex and pleasure and you really embrace a sex positive attitude which I think is exactly what we need moving forward in today’s society when it comes to sex and pleasure.

Your products have been featured in Men’s Health, Esquire, Cosmopolitan, Huffington Post, The Advocate, Forbes, Askmen, VICE  to name a few media channels and are the winners of many adult awards.

You’ll have to excuse me as I need to start with the obvious question – how did Perfect Fit start?

First of all, thank you for having tried our products and I’m thrilled that you had such a positive experience. We have really been very fortunate with our material development, there is always luck involved, and though even after 8 years of production, there are still doubters that TPR and silicone can be blended.  We did this in 2010 and have been able to develop one of the industries most revered materials.  The blending of these two materials created a wonderfully soft and stretchy material that has become the foundation for almost all of our innovations. 

Perfect Fit Brand Inc. (“PFB”) is the successor to my first venture, StreemMaster.  StreemMaster was an enema products company and was my first invention.  It was also my first time ever trying something in this industry.  I really had absolutely no industry experience other than being an avid sex toy products consumer.  I wish I could say that first company was a huge success for me personally, it wasn’t, in fact I lost all my savings on it.  But what I lost in money did convert into knowledge and a good reputation.  I had many supporters and fans, and this enabled to start a new venture, and that is this company PFB.  PFB had one success after another and has been an exciting ride, one which I am very grateful for.  Many thanks to all my supporters and the industry folks who helped me get my second start.

As sex toys become mainstream, and their use is brought out into the open and not so much behind closed doors, what do you think makes your products different?

As we mature and evolve, it is clear that many of our innovations and our general philosophy has been towards improving sexual experiences.  Though we didn’t identify as a Sexual Wellness company years ago, our products and actions did.  Today, we really think of ourselves as company that can actually help individuals discover their sexuality and we identify as a “sexual wellness” company more than that of a sex toy company.

One of our first examples of this is our Ergoflo™ Pro, the low-pressure shower-driven enema kit which is far superior to a metal shower hose.  This product is an evolution of my StreemMaster invention.  Not only does it clean you better, but it is also much less stressful on the body and much faster to use.  The number of customers that have written me over the last 13 years exclaiming how this has improved their sex life is beyond my imagination. 

The most recent example is the Buck Angel® collaboration.  When Buck approached me a few years ago, it was shocking to me that in this day and age there was still such major gaps in sexual wellness offerings.  I know you have questions on this further on but let me just say that this is one of the highlights of my career, working with such an amazing man, and having such a huge impact on the lives of some people. 

The sex industry is moving towards sex positivity, openness and transparency. Yet, at the end of the day the industry is a commercial business, it needs to make money in order to be viable. What are some (if any) of the challenges, sacrifices that you’ve had when it comes to the idea of creating toys for pleasure vs business?

I love this question because it allows me to say something that I think needs to be said.  Not all products are developed to make money.  In our company, we develop products because they need to be developed.  Of course, we can cite the many examples of where Buck’s sex toy idea was turned down by our competitors because they didn’t see the financial upside, but these companies are also known to only be in it for the “buck” not the Buck! (LOL, that was a bad pun.)  But as a company that really believes in the importance of inclusivity, you can’t put the dollar ahead of the needs of people.  We have other examples of our commitment to this philosophy.  For instance, we make 14 sizes of cock rings – we make the smallest and the biggest on the market, and we will make more sizes if anyone needs them.  Our competitors usually only make 3 sizes! We make these 0.1” increments because human penises don’t grow in 0.25” (or ¾” circumference) increments!

But the funny thing is, that we have actually made a profit to share with Buck on the development of his line of products.  Perhaps it was because it was the world’s first line of the FTM toys, with many innovations, and no doubt because it was Buck’s brainchild and has his name on it.  This proves that even a smaller demographic can generate enough revenue to make a very specialized product viable financially.  But we seriously did not expect this, and it has been a wonderful turn of events.

Perfect Fit Brand
Steve Perfect Fit

(Perfect Fit Brand CEO Steve Callow with the XBIZ 2018 “LGBT Pleasure Products Company of the Year” Award and previous awards from XBIZ, AVN, and East Coast News. Photo courtesy of Perfect Fit Brand.)

 

A lot of your toys and gear are grounded in the idea of enhancing sex and pleasure and not replacing it, how important is breaking down the stigma of sexual health towards sex toys and pleasure to you, and how will you continue tackling this?

Regarding your first point, I guess I’ve never quite thought of it this way. 

Certainly, we believe that our products require education in many cases, even seasoned industry people often tilt their head when they first see one our new products. 

Honestly, I don’t really face any stigma from people, if they have some then I just move on to people who don’t; PFB loves to keep information flowing outward.  People will choose to read it or not.  We know our values, and if people don’t agree with them, we don’t spend our energy trying to change theirs, that is beyond our scope of work.  If it was our job I’d be answering to negative people all day long!  Positive people always will see the reason to make other people happy and bring good to the world.

What makes a good sex toy in your opinion?

We spend a lot of time in design.  Often it starts as an idea while I’m doing some sort of exercise, that seems to be my most creative element.  Also, when I talk to really creative people, and I have some incredibly creative people in my close circle, ideas seem to gel much faster and evolve into even better concepts. 

A good idea is an original design that has a purpose or will provide a pleasure that another toy can’t for an individual.  It could be as simple as stylistic change that appeals to someone, or a functional change like, size, angle, proportion, hardness, etc. that is not currently offered.  I love innovation. Many of our designs have started completely new categories in the industry.  That makes me proud.  I’ve seen some great innovations in this industry, like the BathMate penis enlargement products, dual density dildos (we actually made perhaps the first dual density product when we launched the Real Boy), our anal Armour Tug Lock products, the Aneros prostate stimulator products, and the Womanizer are great examples.

What I have little respect for are knock-offs of my designs that offer no added improvement, or, of course, ones that are in patent infringement.  Otherwise I think there can never be too many choices for consumers.  I know I have broad taste, but I also know what I like.

What’s your go to comfort food?

Definitely Ice Cream – Häagen-Dazs Pralines and Cream, or any Häagen-Dazs flavour with a vanilla base, though I also love a good old burger and fries if dinner time.  I try to be a really healthy person in general–I work out 7 days a week, always watch what I eat–so these are very nice treats for me!

Sex toys are often geared towards mainstream cis-gendered and able-bodied persons, you recently joined forces with the acclaimed Buck Angel who has created a range of FTM sex toys. Buck had been refused so many times before coming to you, what led you to taking up his toys?

When Jen Laws, one of our employees mentioned he knew Buck had been scouting around for toy maker and setup a call with Buck and myself.  I don’t think it was even 15 minutes long.  When Buck told me no one had ever made an FTM toy, I immediately said, “We are in!”  And a week later I was on a plane to LA for our first meeting.  We developed the toy in just a few months. 

There a few reasons why I said yes immediately.  The first is a personal reason.  When I was a young gay man, maybe 21 years old, I shopped for my first toy.  I discovered that there were really no toys that were designed for gay men.  I had to buy a toy with a picture of woman on the package.  This always made me feel like I was not a man.  When Buck told me that FTM’s had no products specifically made for them, I thought of how it made me feel when I was a young man.  That really was the driving energy for me on that first call.  But then once I met Buck, I realized how amazing a person he is and what an impact he has on people who follow him and listen to his message.  I became one of his biggest fans!  This product was important to do in many respects, but it was also personal for me and Buck. 

Buck’s range at Perfect Fit sold out of its first production run in a month. The Buck-off™ toy won the most innovative pleasure product at AVN and XBIX in 2017 – that’s an amazing achievement for something other companies didn’t think would do well. Where do you think the success in this lies, and did you expect it to be so big?

The success lies in the passion that laid the path for it’s development.  This product was lifetime of effort for Buck, it was–and is–destined to always be a visible and embracing kiss of acceptance of the FTM individual.  Let every person love themselves is the bigger picture here, and the Buck-Off™ is a monument of sorts to that ideal.

What’s a toy that might not be as popular as you’d like it to be, but that you’re the proudest of?

I love the Jock Armour and Cock Armour line of products.  These products present the penis in a way no other product does. They are sexy, functional, and completely revolutionary in the way they work.  The Cock Armour was the first ever cock ring that anchored to the torso, making it extremely comfortable and it delivers the most rigid, yet comfortable erection of any cock ring product.  The Jock Armour was the world’s first hybrid clothing concept.  We licenced this patent pending innovation to FortTroff and it was a great success.  Now we licence it to CellBlock 13 and it is their most successful clothing line ever, and a huge business for us.  We sell our Jock Armour with a jock style waistband on our website, but our offering of it never really caught on like I had hoped. But those who bought it write and tell me how much they love it.  The CellBlock 13 Jock Armour is integrated with some of their hottest designs and it is something I am very proud of.

I personally love the Fat Boy Extender Range, the Bull Bag and the cruiser ring. What I love about these toys is they’re not just about pleasure. For me they add confidence, they add suave [swerve?], and they enhance my mindset when it comes to sex. Not to mention they feel amazing, they’re the most comfortable things I’ve worn and versatile to use in the bedroom (and out) – where do you get your inspiration for your toys?

I’m all about comfort, performance, and quality.   Just as you tried our products, prior to designing these products I had tried many myself, and found them uncomfortable, useless or very poor quality.  That is my inspiration, to rethink products to make them wearable, sexy, higher quality, etc.  I am an inventor at heart, as very young child I used to question every product design I saw.  I would wonder why they made something the way they did – my mon would never get tired of my questions, even though she could rarely answer them.  It was a very natural thing for me, so I definitely found my destined career path.  My dad was a very ingenious engineer, developing aerofoils and even rocket engines for National Defence.  I undoubtedly inherited some design talent from him.  Thank you for your support, I love hearing what you wrote!!!!

What’s something not everyone knows about you?

Well having after all these great questions, I may be running out of things now.  Well, I love dogs.  I have recently rescued a 9-month old Red Siberian Husky from the Humane Society.  This happens to be my third Red Siberian Husky with blue eyes, all rescued from the same place.  These are very rare dogs to find in Florida, and in every case, there happened to be one there the first day I started to look for another dog.  I know they are meant to be part of my life because of that.  I never even think twice I take them home the same day.

A lot of CEO’s aren’t as visible on the frontline as you are when it comes to their products. Yet, your passion for your products shines through with your range of “How does this work” videos. What’s the driving force behind what you do?

I just chuckled as I thought to myself how much I hate making those videos.  I know they are important so that is why I make them.  The one I made with Buck was really fun, but when I have to just talk about the product by myself I always dread it because I don’t like seeing myself on camera.  I am told frequently that I explain the products better than anyone else, and this is probably because they come from my vision and are my design.   I put my heart into every product I design.  Other manufacturers will launch 150 new products at an industry show, and we may only launch two.  But those two products, I will talk about for three days non-stop at a show to very open ears.  Usually some customers will tell us that we have the best booth and most exciting products there.  So, two can trump 150.

I guess it comes to making something special, I have a rule “if it is not amazing in some way, then it doesn’t belong on our booth.” And I love to talk 😊.

You’ve recently branched out by adding product lines for him and her to your range – any chance of a hint as to what’s coming next and when we can get our horny hands on them?

YES! We just launched this exciting male masturbator product line and we’ve added simple grips that looks like handles that make it easier for a person to use on their partner for a “hand job”

Also, the product has been designed so it doesn’t need to be squeezed for the guy to get enough stimulation. 

I’m going to end it here as I’m aware that you’re a busy person and I don’t want to hold you up from the awesome work that you do (and delaying new products). I’d like to thank you not just for your time, but also for amazing products. I’m personally looking forward to new stuff that you’re bringing out and can’t wait! Thanks again.

Thank you for this opportunity and this has been a pleasure!  Best to you and your audience.

Stephen is a cis-gendered gay male who spends far too much time with his two cats and eating tim tams. A self-identified sex-positive advocate he cares deeply about gender equality, disabilities, sexual education and social issues. Opinionated and bold he isn’t afraid to speak his mind and say what others won’t. With a yearning for knowledge and experience in all things relating to sex, he is a prolific writer that has developed the content for a myriad of informative Sexual Health and Wellness websites.

Stephen’s articles and writings tends to focus on social issues, sexual education, queer issues and all things fetish and absurd. He comes qualified with the completion of a double Bachelor degree in Social Sciences and literature, and a Masters in Education.