Furry Etiquette!

A furry convention is one of the most fantastic formal gatherings. The gathering involves members of the furry fandom or rather those who are interested in the concept of fictional non-human animal characters which posses’ human characteristics. Since it is a formal gathering, upon people meeting, they exchange ideas as they transact business, they engage in fan activities such as entertainment as well as recreation. The event originated in California in the 1980’s and it has been embraced in most parts of Europe as well as North America. However, attendees of the event have a certain way they present themselves. Among the furry etiquettes includes:

Should not approach anyone randomly

It is one of the general suiting practices maintained at the furry event. Due to
the fact that fur suits can be a bit scary, it is very normal for some people
not to enjoy them at all. It is always advisable to check how the people or the
person you are approaching they are before engaging them. If you realize that
they are not comfortable with your approach, it is better to turn the other way
ad leave them alone. It is also not advisable to chase a person when in the
furry suit. Interrupting the events of other groups also is not recommended.
However, if other people want to approach you, they can and to indicate that
you are fine with it a gesture is recommended such as waving at them, offering a high five, or even holding your arm out. The same accord should be provided to the others, in case they need to interact they will if not, one should not bother them at all.

 

Should have a handler

A furry event can be scary sometimes hence the reason to have a handler. A
handler is a person who is supposed to act as a guardian throughout the event.
Their main job being to act as your ears and eyes ensuring that you are guided
throughout the event and more so making sure that you are guarded from creepy people in the event. When attending for the first time, it is more scary hence the more reason to have someone to keep you away from troublesome people and always guide you so safe places. The handlers are also supposed to always provide you with something to quench your thirst when dehydrated and more so they are recommended for full suiters. Since there are possibilities of the event being characterized by emergencies, one should make sure they have signals worked out with their handler. This will equip you with the know how of requesting for help in case an emergency arises.

 

You should not touch anyone because you have Fur suits

Being in a fur suit limits someone’s ability to see and also moving around is also a huge problem. Hence in the event that you suddenly touch someone especially from behind, it is very easy to really scare them. It is therefore recommended that if someone asks you whether you want to touched just say no and before touching any one it is advisable to always ask them first. If their answer is no, it is paramount that their decision is respected without questioning them about it to avoid any misunderstanding. This will ensure that Fur suiter’s right to personal space is respected.

 

You should not damage the Conspace

In the event that conspace is destroyed, the you or thecon will have to bear the burden. Since a furry convention is mostly held at Hotels, they have ground rules of not tolerating any damages and in most cases, they do not allow any furry conventions to be held in the same premises in case there are any damages of Conspace. It is always expected that attendees of the con should responsible people and more so the actions portrayed at the convention represent the organizers of the event as well as the entire community. Therefore, lack of maintaining proper discipline affects everyone at the convention.

 

Ask in case you need a photograph taken

Human beings are referred to as social beings due to the fact we rely on each other to exist. However how well we relate to each other is the key to a peaceful coexistence. In the convention too, how well the costumers relate to each other is of vital importance. In the furry convention there are a million chances of bumping into a photographer since they are memorable as well as enjoyable moments. Hence taking a picture or two with another costumer is allowed. Nevertheless, it should be at a mutual consent. In case you need a photograph taken, where by you pose with costumer, it is always good to ask them first to make sure they are comfortable with it. This is just a general courtesy since not everyone likes taking pictures.

 

One should know where to get water and take your head off as well as keep clean

Wearing the furry suit is requires one to keep taking water regularly to avoid
dehydration. It is therefore recommended that upon arrival at the convention,
one should make sure they trace safe place where they can take off, they head
and rest a bit. Also, they should locate where to get water places so that when
they get dehydrated, they can re-hydrate themselves. When at the event it is
always advisable to not take more than an hour without water. Keeping clean at the conventions also should be a priority. Therefore, when you get out of the
suit, you should take a quick bath and pray the suit to freshen up. The face
should be washed up regularly when you visit the water areas. This is recommended since being in the suit makes one sweat too much leading to a bad smell when out of the suit. Keeping yourself clean avoids diseases, and bad odor when attending the con.

 

Avoid misbehaving in public convention spaces

In most Furry conventions, public places are places requiring good behaviors. So are the spaces around the convention center. In appropriate behaviors as well as misconducting your self at convention area calls attention from the
organizers of the event who might take a disciplinary action against you. This
calls for utmost conduct when at furry conventions and avoid public display of
a fetish. This is because there are people of different age blackest which is
an indication for everyone being responsible in regard to behaving
appropriately or wearing appropriate costumes at this place. Such kind of costumes should be left at home or covered up y placing other costumes on top of it. This is not just for costumers but also for any mature art seller. They are required to sell their art at hidden areas to void exposure to everyone.

 

Respect

Respect is an important social aspect as far as humans are concerned. In absence of respect, havoc reigns.  It is due to this that people are usually requested to respect each other to allow a peaceful coexistence. In Furry conventions too, there is need to respect not just fellow costumers but also the event organizers. The organizers of furry events are people of great stature since they are volunteers. It is paramount that they are respected for putting together the event. The rules they lay down to be followed should also be respected and followed to the letter. This is just a gesture of appreciating
their great work or rather as a way of thanking them.

 

Do not remove your head in public and do not talk in the suit.

The furry convention is guided by myths and beliefs. It is due to this very reason that removing the head while at the convention will break the magic. However, on normalcy, removing the head makes one a sweaty person in a suit and disregards you as a fun character. Talking while in the suit is also against
the rules due to the myths upon which the event is based on.

 

Act and move around

Keeping your self busy through out the event is fun. Since the main theme behind the event is entertainment, standing around in a suit is not fun. One should find places of entertainment or if not, they should try and entertain others. Being funny in the convention will highly depend on the character one has chosen. If you have chosen a funny character, one should act the part however choosing a serious character does not prevent someone from acting funny when at the convention. This because one should try to find  entertainment no matter what character they have chosen.

 

Keep the fur suit safe

The fur suit should be kept safe at all time. It is not necessary to get rough with
the suit. It is important to note that fur suits are expensive to acquire hence
the reason they should be kept always safe. Tails and jaws should at all times
be kept intact to avoid any damages since fixing can be quite expensive. It is
also not good to damage something when given for it is a show of disrespect as well as lack of appreciation to those who have offered the fur suit.

Furry facts

References

https://aminoapps.com/c/furry-amino/page/blog/convention-etiquette/WJkg_EbliXukEvDnQlxBkVvXB31Dm0W2vaK

https://www.adisc.org/forum/threads/45926/.

10 Reasons Cosplay Trumps Melancholy!

Cosplay is a combination of two words costume and play. This is an art of dressing up in your favorite superhero or anime character.  Cosplay has become very popular with conventions and communities set up almost everywhere. There are reasons behind every costume which makes it more interesting.

To some it’s a hobby while to others it’s simply a way of expressing themselves and getting away from their normal life even if it’s for a day.  With so many young adults becoming cosplayers every day, you can’t help but wonder why they are doing it and how it helps them. After interactions and a lot of research I compiled 10 reasons it helps.  After you read this you might change your mind about calling cosplayers nerds.

Acts as a stress reliever

Once you’re in a costume you are no longer yourself all you can think about is the character you inhabit. In most stories what costume players will tell you is that once you’re in the costume you forget about your worries and simply enjoy being someone you’re not.  “You’re playing dress up right, and you can be whoever you want to be for a day,” Jerry shared to me.  Jerry loves to make costumes especially superhero costumes. He personally loves Deadpool which is amazing since Deadpool is everyone’s favorite superhero movie.
When he is wearing Deadpool’s costume he tries to have as much fun as possible with friends or even by himself with no fear of being judged or questioned.

 

Offers An Escape for People Who Suffer from Social Anxiety and Shyness

There are communities and conventions set up for cosplayers. Most people who suffer from social anxiety tend to alienate themselves from social situations which makes it even hard to deal with their problem.  In conventions they meet people alike with similar hobbies and passion. Therefore they will keep meeting now and then and when they hint no one is judging or criticizing they realize it is far easier to interact than they thought.  Making friends becomes easy and all they can hope for is that they keep making more friends.
Once they show off their skill and talent in such a huge crowd, they feel completely different and way comfortable that they are no longer shy. Even if someone judges they are aware that they are not the ones being judged but the superhero character they are wearing.

 

A Boost of Confidence

One to three people in a group of ten are not aware of their talent. Finding something you love and are perfectly good at does boost your confidence. Costume-play is an art that hasn’t been recognized for a long time and with every stitch displays the confidence the artist has in him… or herself.
As they showcase their work to the work either during Halloween or in conventions their confidence grows and the appreciation is very satisfying.
A boost in self-esteem is well deserved especially by those who had little self confidence in their abilities.

 

A bonding experience with friends and family

There are a lot of families that are going through a tough time like a divorce or financial problems. Just in case the stress of everything that is happening is driving everyone apart try cosplay.  The good thing about cosplay is that there is no age limit. Whether you are fifty or sixteen there is a character that you adored growing up. You can make or buy (if you don’t know how to make one) costumes for the entire family with every one wearing their favorite superhero or anime character and make it fun and enjoyable.  At the same time you can invite friends to join in the fun and before you know it you have your own little community of cosplayers. Nothing makes memories better than costume play.

 

Cures Depression

Just like with social anxiety, Costume play has proven to cure depression. Due to the fact that most people suffer from depression even without knowing it, there are certain symptoms that indicate you’re going through depression like;
•Thinking about the same thing over and over again
•Poor appetite
•Suicide thoughts
•Social isolation
•Irritability
•Restlessness
•Weight shifts
•Mood swings
•insomnia
•Loss of interest or pleasure in activities

Once you have the above signs and symptoms then you are suffering from depression. Cosplay involves a group of people having fun with no judgment whatsoever.  No one expects you to act or look a certain ways. Things that matter to people do not apply to costume play which is amazing by the way. You can be the stupidest character and be praised for it.  Since social isolation is one of the signs of depression when one is convinced to try out cosplay and agrees to it, they find that it is so much fun and probably make it a hobby. A really fun hobby, and before they know it all suicide thoughts and bitterness disappears.

 

Expressing yourself

People express themselves through their costumes. When you can see how many people appreciate your hard work you feel contented and that is a motivation to keep doing more.  There are so many people in the industry that do the same thing. They meet and share each other’s creation which shows unity and love for the art.  Each cosplayer has a reason for choosing a certain character. Whether the character makes them feel superior, loyal, funny, happy or royal that is what they showcase to the world. If I’m dressed like wonder woman I want to feel superior and in control.  It is pretty amazing to see young adults being free and telling the world ou cannot be serious all the time it is great let lose once in a while’. Just stop and let your costume do the talking. Not literally though, we all know they can’t.

 

Freedom

When you look at cosplay you think freedom. The freedom to wear whatever you want at any given time is what costume play is about. People choose whatever costume they want. They play with it and do it their own way.
Unlike fashion you get to choose what to wear and no one will be like, “that’s outdated or that does not fit you right, it’s not cool” and such like comments.
You play your favorite character and have a whole lot of fun doing it. Costume play gives everyone regardless of the age, size or gender comfortable and appreciated. Once you’re in a costume there is no turning back and no one can tell you otherwise. In a superhero movie you are a new different human being or alien in any case but you’re free from critics and judgment and that’s all you need.

 

Self-acceptance

There are so many people in the world who are not comfortable in their own skin. Appreciating how they were created is not something they do. Cosplay has been very welcoming to every single person in the world.  As I said earlier there are no critics but fun. Most people play dress up to feel more comfortable in their own skin.  When they feel accepted that leads them to accepting themselves for who they are and anyway the best version of yourself is you so there is no one in the world who can be you. You are the only you. That is exactly what costume play does for you.

 

Creativity and great possibilities.

Cosplay is a world of creativity and great possibilities. You can create your own superhero and before you know it your famous. Expressing your great idea to the world can lead to great achievements. There are a lot of people in the film industry that appreciate superheros and villains. Fiction is very rewarding and taking costume play as a career is something to consider.In this time and age there are a few people who care about careers our parents kept telling us that we should do in college like engineering and accounting. I mean we can’t all be engineers.The things that no one thought could be careers are the ones controlling the world like fashion, modeling and acting. You can trust me when I tell you that costumes have made millionaires. There is a door for you to create your own characters or use the characters available to make your costumes to express yourself because that is a talent.

 

Happiness

Every one finds happiness once they play their favorite fiction character.
The joy that you get once someone in a convention runs to you with a really big smile on their face to ask you for a picture or the joy that you get from just having fun with your friends and family.  Happiness is something that we all seek and it doesn’t matter how you achieve true happiness just as long as you find it. There are people who do cosplay since it’s their passion. They enjoy it and love it. There are those nerds who love to hide behind the costume. But you know what it doesn’t matter as long as they are happy at that particular time it’s worth it.

 

Cosplay Convention

Do not be afraid to express yourself. This being the only life that you have you should explore the world and be adventurous. There is nothing more satisfying than living a life that is stress free.  Be someone else for a day and see how that feels.  There are no boundaries, be a superhero or a furry, whatever is your fantasy!!!

Are You A CRYMaxer?

I once was having sex against a wall, this was not love making this was hard and rough sex. I wasn’t even facing the person. Afterwards, I pulled up my underwear and next thing I felt a wave of sadness flood my body and I became hysterical. He asked me if I had been hurt during sex, I couldn’t even pull myself together to answer him. I simply shook my head and sobbed.

This was had never happened to me before, I have never cried during or after sex. There was that one time I sustained a really bad sex injury and cried. However, this was different, I wasn’t hurt. I wasn’t sad before we started having sex, why was I crying? I assure you, it was nothing he had done, and he actually made me cum really hard. This morning on Facebook I read an opinion piece on after sex criers and I was compelled to start researching this further.

Before starting this blog, I asked some of my co-workers if they had ever cried after sex and I was shocked to find out that many of them said yes. Some were frequent criers after sex.

Some sex sessions are so good they make people cry due to the rush of oxytocin that floods the brain causing happy tears. There is a lot going on in your brain during an orgasm, it’s hard to pinpoint the exact reason you may start crying after sex. It could be that your tense muscles are now relaxing, your heart rate has dramatically decreased, your breathing has slowed, and you’re being flooded with chemicals. However, researchers have discovered the phenomenon “post-coital dysphoria.” It can involve bursting into tears or just feeling depressed or anxious after sex. Approximately 45% of young women have experienced PCD, which is a lot of women crying after sex. The research team also surveyed more than 1,200 men with an online questionnaire and found that almost as many men (41%) have experienced PCD at some point.

What causes PCD and how to prevent crymaxing!

Sex is an emotional act, even if you don’t have an emotional connection to the person you’re fucking. Sex makes you vulnerable, you’re stripped back, raw, exposed, you’re not in control for that period of time. This is bound to unbalance your emotions, even for a short period of time. Emotions are often exacerbated by stress if you’re trying to avoid crying after sex try lowering your stress levels in your life.

Unsettling feelings towards the person you’re having sex with may also cause tears. This, unfortunately, is truer in women than it is in men as women release high levels of oxytocin, the cuddle chemical. This chemical facilitates feelings of attachment and bonding which can be highly problematic for those seeking casual hook-ups. If you’re experiencing PCD while in a long-term relationship it may be highlighting your unhappiness towards your significant other or the sadness in the relationship. Either way, your tears are suggestive that you’re not feeling secure in your situation. If you have a partner or FWB you should definitely be talking with them about your feelings as they may be able to provide you with the comfort that you’re looking for.

Alternatively, sometimes you may be feeling so in love, so close to someone that you’re unable to process these feelings. You’ve maybe fallen in love and never said the words before and yet felt so close to saying it mid-sex. Crying may also be indicative that you’ve moved on too quickly and you’re missing or longing for someone who isn’t the person you’re having sex with.

Simple exhaustion may also aggravate your emotional state, make sure you’re getting enough rest prior sex if you’re trying to avoid the after sex blues. PCD has a much darker side and may also relate back to past trauma. Survivors of sexual assault, for instance, might feel very emotional if the sexual experience reminded them of being assaulted. In the study, PCD among men was linked to childhood sexual abuse and psychological distress. People who base their self-worth on how their partner feels about them are more likely to feel weepy or depressed after sex if their partner doesn’t treat them with the closeness they were hoping for.

Let me make this very clear, there is only so much that you can do to control your PCD. For the most part, there is not a lot wrong with crying after sex and you shouldn’t be ashamed. However, if you think that it’s impacting your life negatively, perhaps a trip to the GP for a referral to a counsellor to work through some of your underlying issues. You may be crying for an underlying reason you’re not even aware of.

Remember, if someone cries after sex, don’t become angry. Be understanding and be a shoulder to lean on, they were fighting a battle you’re not aware of. Be kind to each other and happy sexing.

NB.  From Editor
The Kama Sutra says there are 3 types of female orgasm –
1. Smiling
2. Laughing
3. Crying

It’s All In The Bush

To shave or not to shave  that is the question. Lasering, waxing, shaving, trimming, letting it all grow wild and free, shaping, dying and even vajazzling. Good grief the options are endless.

Fashions have changed over my lifetime and our individual tastes will always be different but as a woman it is something that in the developed world we all have to spend ridiculous amounts of time and money dealing with.

When I was younger I have to say, there was a lot less of it to deal with, a quick once over with a Bic  and I was ready to go. As you get older though, boy does that stuff multiply. I vividly remember staring , stunned, in absolute disbelief when I saw my first chin hair. A hair! In MY CHIN for fuck sake!  What is that all about.? Little did I know once I plucked that little fucker out , it was only a matter of a year or so before people were mistaking me for Osama Bin Laden.

Yes age and life are cruel mistresses.  The hairs they steal from your head they donate to your stomach and bum crack. Nowadays in middle age I often find myself tripping over my own armpit hair wondering why I have paws instead of feet and on occasions I even receive phone calls from my own vagina begging me to get in the forestry commission to do some controlled burning down there.

I am fat and pregnant at the moment actually so it’s been a few weeks since I even saw what was going on down there. Out of sight out of mind and all that, that’s what I say. Unfortunately my partner doesn’t think the same. We have been together for almost 20 years. You would think he would accept me for all that I am , hair and all , just not that much hair apparently. It isn’t fair how fashions have changed . It’s not like a bit of a trim will do anymore, you have to be  bald,  completely and utterly bald , EVERYWHERE! In my day if a man wanted you to shave your pussy you would have thought he was a peadophile! Not any more though.

There is no doubt about about it , shaving your face and body is a right royal pain in the arse. I got so fed up with all that landscape gardening  I actually decided to go down the old laser route a while ago and get rid of it once and for all. It scared the shit out of me at first. I pictured myself having to lie prostrate , legs akimbo ,straddled by some woman in goggles and a white coat, brandishing a lightsaber. (that sounds quite hot when I put it like that) Anyway what I am trying to say is, Laser- vagina. Vagina – laser. Stranger seeing my bits ?…mmmm, there is something not too pleasant about that. Then there is the cost of course. Do I really want to spend a month’s wages on this? Well I did and I couldn’t believe how quickly it was all over and like most people who go under the laser,I wondered why on earth I hadn’t done it years ago. Life was sweet, I have fair skin and very dark hair so I am the perfect candidate apparently.

Only one treatment! I couldn’t believe it,  a month went by and nothing came back.  Another month went by and still nothing. I went for my second treatment. Life had never looked better. I was walking around with a spring in my step, joy in my heart and a twat like a cue ball. A niggling thought started to bug me though, at first it was just something that popped into my mind now and again but I began to dwell on it.

What if hair came back into fashion.?

We sell heaps of “hairy” porn. And I began to think that if I wasn’t a fashion following, people pleasing sap sometimes,  I quite like the look of a neat trimmed bush. It is after all a sign that a woman has reached sexual maturity and I have always thought it makes a nice smiley face when you look at the female form with its boobs for eyes and vaginal hair for the mouth. OH GOD what have I done? And other thoughts too started to creep in. Can you be too old to be hair free? Isn’t it cooler to grow old gracefully? Am I going to look like the equivalent of some old sad guy stuck with the fading tattoo mistakes he made in his twenties?

Hairiest Woman

Well I needn’t have worried. Pregnancy does odd things to body hair. Once I got up the duff, I began to notice small patches of downy fluff appearing from nowhere.  I watched what would happen with eager anticipation, Like a gardener waiting for his first spring blooms. ….and, well nothing else happened, nothing at all. Just small sprouts of downy fluff in odd wispy patches. There was nothing else for it, I had to start bloody shaving again, either that or stand outside and start collecting for cancer research because that is what I looked like, someone who had just been for a couple of rounds of chemo. I am not allowed to have more laser until after the baby comes along so at least it gives me some time to decide what it is I want. Who knows. Now I have shaved the fluff off, It might be like the old days, in a few weeks time I will look like I have a giant sea urchin spreading out of my vagina and migrating down my inner thighs towards my knees .

Feminine young and youthful , hair-free, soft -skinned innocence. that is what we all seem strive for at the moment , oh that and to have and a pristine, hairless, bleached -baby -pink, shiny arsehole you could eat your dinner off ( but that ‘s a blog post for another day) Pubes will probably always will be a hotly debated issue. And you can choose to do exactly what you want with them. There is no right or wrong and who am I to judge?

Words from The Chaste Cyclist!

I’d like to thank you for going through these questions and letting us in to your world of chastity. You started a blog in 2015 called thechastecyclist. We’ve read through your ups and downs, your kink lifestyle, the events of your family and kids, your sex life and various goings on in your life over the previous three years. We’d like to thank you for the chance to ask you a series of questions.

Thank you for reading. I truly appreciate everyone who takes time out of their day to read my ramblings.

Chaste Cyclist Blog

In your first post in 2015 – you say that you started this blog as your exploration into the world of chastity. Why a blog, and not a diary? What drove you to putting this online for others to read?

I was talking to another person who writes a blog, The Drew Duality about his life and it included chastity. I also had read through Denying Thumper, another guy talking about and living a life of chastity. Both of their blogs were of such an interest and coupled with my love to write, I decided to give it a go. I honestly didn’t care if anyone ever read a single post. I considered this blog my personal diary.

You had had an interest in male chastity for many years – what was so interesting about it for you and when did you start taking note of it?

Honestly, it started in the late 1980’s. I have always been interested in BDSM and Female Domination. As a college sophomore I started reading those Penthouse “stories” magazines. One edition had a story about two women seducing a man at a bar, taking him home, then tying him up and doing what they wanted to him all night. I chased BDSM and FemDom ever since. It spoke to me. Fast forward to the early 2000’s. One day while cruising the web I stumbled across the Men in Pain website and saw my first photo/video of a guy with metal locked on his cock. I was hooked from there. The entire idea of someone taking control of my cock and controlling my orgasms quickly became a passion…dare I say…an addiction.

You mentioned that you didn’t always take chastity seriously, and you likened it to a game. What made you change your outlook towards chastity and start to take it seriously?

Initially, it was a game. The first time I convinced my Wife to try it and ordered our first cheap device it truly was a game that neither one of us enjoyed playing. The device was ill fitted. It pinched and grabbed at every movement. Truth be told, I didn’t last more than 18 hours before throwing in the towel. My Wife could not have been more pleased. She just wasn’t kinky at all and didn’t understand. After that initial experience, and I have written about this extensively, I started drifting mentally away from my Wife. I resorted to masturbation for my true sexual pleasure and that feeling took over my side of the relationship. After our 25th anniversary, I realized I was missing something and started searching for an answer. Chastity was that answer.

I have to ask this question as when we’re talking about kinks – not everyone is receptive. You say that it was difficult in getting your wife (MrsL) to take chastity as a serious kind of activity. What do you think changed, have you spoken about that and what was her initial hesitation in chastity?

MrsL was raised a devout Catholic and truly believed I was having an affair…well I was…only with myself and online porn. To this day, she still has a hard time with kink but it isn’t as bad as it once was. Her initial reaction to chastity, before I confessed my masturbation issue, was one of truly not understanding. However, after our anniversary trip I took the time to find some “non kinky” e-books for her to read and once she read them we discussed the concept of chastity more seriously.

What advice do you have for people looking to introduce chastity or kink into their lives?

Do your research. Determine if it is just a kink you want to explore or if you want it to be a regular part of your life. There is an adjustment.

What’s your go to comfort food?

Nice, I like how you throw this in here to bring some levity. My go to comfort food has to be…vanilla ice cream! Imagine that, I am a kinky being but my comfort food is vanilla ice cream!

In one of your posts in early October – you talk about whether or not to keep the blog going. What effort and determination is required when running a blog, and what does it take out of you – for those looking to start their own blog?

Even though I initially didn’t care if anyone read my blog, I quickly realized I had regular readers. With regular readers comes an expectation of new/fresh content. In October, I realized I wasn’t holding up my end of the bargain with new/fresh content. I was feeling guilty. I quickly got over that feeling. If your starting a blog, make sure you know why you are starting a blog. Decide if you are writing for you or for your readers. If the answer is the latter, then take steps to keep your blog updated daily. If it is the former, write when, where, and what you want to write.

You and MrsL use a journal to talk about things; kink lifestyle, what’s going on – This seems like a fantastic idea as it let’s couples work through things at their own pace. Where did this idea come from and how have you both found it useful?

It came from another blog I read with the only difference is this couple uses their blog to talk about “stuff”. We only use it for our kinky stuff.

Orgasm Denial

You’ve spoken recently about changing the type of chastity that you and Mrs L engage in, and i’d love to explore that. What does the difference between enforced chastity and devotional chastity mean to you – and what was the decision making process in that?

Enforced chastity is exactly what it says…enforced. When MrsL finally told me that she was in charge of when and how long I wore her Steelheart, I realized I truly had gotten what I had been wishing for all those years. Alas, I travel on airplanes and the plastic Bon4 device and the “custom” EvotionWearables device (3D printed surgical nylon) device caused issues…all chronicled on the blog. One of the many websites I visited and introduced to MrsL was Devotional Sex. We both read through it, individually, had a journal, and face to face conversation about the entire concept. Absent spending the money needed, and we are still planning on doing this someday, on a custom TITANIUM device that is airplane travel safe we agreed that we would live the Devotional Sex lifestyle in between stints in the Steelheart. For me, it personifies my renewed commitment to MrsL.

She is still 100% in charge of IF, WHEN, and HOW I receive an orgasm. In exchange, I still focus all of my sexual energy on her! I will admit that the feeling isn’t the same. There is something about the absolutely instant POSITIVE feedback received when locked in chastity that is electric. When you cock wants to get hard and that desire is blocked by some type of device that energy is looped back through your body. With Devotional Sex, the feedback loop is more subtle but it does build with time. For example, within an hour or two of being locked in the Steelheart, the slightest touch from MrsL sends chills coursing through my body. However, when we are practicing Devotional Sex it sometimes takes days. When I am on a known extended travel break for work the Steelheart is more present. Other times, like now, Devotional Sex is more prevalent. Of course, either way has its advantages and disadvantages for MrsL. She is very coy about which way she prefers but I think it is having unfettered access to tease me.