Fetishes vs Fantasies.

fetishes and fantasies

Words are occasionally my favorite tool to use both in the bedroom and out. But today we aren’t talking about dirty talk, though we could. No today dear readers, we are talking semantics and comparing two of my favourite words and words that are often confused, confuddled and mixed up in many scenes, scenarios and interchanges between people when discussing kinks.

 

Fetish vs Fantasy.

 

Fetishes

 

A fetish can best be described as a strong desire or need for something be it an object or a person, an act or kink. There are those who can argue that a fetish could be categorized as an uncontrollable desire, the very opposite a phobia, in which a person has an uncontrollable fear, sometimes even irrational. Fetishes can sometimes be categorised as lust worthy, uncontrollable desires, perhaps even irrational to the rational part of a person’s mentality. But it still gives them sexual or pleasureable gratification.

 

Fetishes can be primal in nature and in some aspects some people have felt much shame in them. Finding safe and welcoming communities where they can find acceptance as well as safe spaces to safely explore, discuss and explore these fetishes is becoming more mainstream and is a joy to see as our society opens up and #breaksthestigma. Fetishes can be many and varied. To date there are over 239 fetishes but here are 12 of some of the most common sexual ones you may have come across

 

  1. Role-Playing – or dress ups. Just because we’re adults doesn’t mean we can’t play make believe sometimes. It can be fun to slip into a different person from time to time, try on a fun costume and pretend to be a different character.

 

  1. Anal sex – this one is a little bit of a grey area, some people enjoy anal sex as a sexul act while others visualise it as a fetish. As long as everyone is consensually enjoying it, who are we to label labels?

 

  1. Lingerie – being aroused by a certain type of lingerie is definitely a fetish and more common than people give it credit. Stockings. Lace. satin. Latex. These pieces of adorning lingerie can be wholeheartedly turn ons for people.

 

  1. Impact Play- spanking, flogging, paddling and other forms of consensual striking.

 

  1. Foot Fetish – the worship of feet through acts such as kissing, massage, smelling, licking, touching or just watching.

 

  1. Bondage – Being tied up or restrained. Bondage can range from very mild to very intense and is usually found in BDSM but has also been known to be one of the first things to try when spicing up things in the bedroom. Restaurants can be made from cuffs, rope, a tie, cable ties,…..many things.

 

  1. Group sex – threesomes and foursomes are the most common but group sex also extends to orgies involving multiple people and gang-bangs including one person of one gender and mutliples of the other gender.

 

  1. Sensory play- When we think sensory play we often immediately think of hot and cold, ice and fire, or in this case wax play. Sensation play also includes blindfolds, feathers and for the more experienced, electrostim play.

 

  1. Dirty Talk – I say Dirty talk but well, it’s not really more things like humiliation and degradation, being called names, talking down and dirty.

 

  1. Orgasm control – or denial. This is edging into BDSM and is a subsection of submission and dominance, bringing the submissive to the brink of orgasm and forced to stop. And doing so repeatedly. or , withholding sex or orgasms over a period of time as a form of teasing.

 

  1. Voyuerism and exhibitionism- watching people having sex, or having sex out in public ith the risk of being caught having sex is very common. WHo among us has not had sex in a car or sneakily in the cinema?

 

  1. Pornography – Watching, looking at pornographic material, before or during sexual intercourse or play

 

So

 

Fantasies.

 

I will admit. Fantasies and Fetishes are not all that different. But the difference is a big one. Fantasies are our respective, imagined scenarios that get us all hot and heavy. They are the screenplay in our minds that we make up, that may involve various fetishes, or wants or desires, but they do not necessarily control us.

 

AND

 

This is the big one

 

We may not want to play them out in real life.

 

Fetishes drive us. We want them. Some people need them.

 

Fantasies are exactly that. They are imaginary.

 

Staging a scene in real life to mirror your fantasy, while nice, will be hard, especially if it is a fantasy you have lived and re-lived in your imagination for years. You have built it up with such exquisite and erotic detail that that is a hard act to nail in real life to the exactness of the fantasy. The fetishes, sure thing, those can be met. But the fantasy is a construct of the amalgamation of the fetishes and how you have controlled them in your imaginatorium.

 

Another example is a real life example of a couple who divulged their fantasies that they masturbated to, to one another, and the husband thought it would be nice to organise his wife’s fantasy, not realising, that while she fantasised about it, when faced with it she had zero interest in fulfilling it with him.

 

I think an important takeaway is that fantasies are amazing, and that everyone should have them, talk about them if you’re open enough and confident to do so, but make it clear when you do, if your fantasy is something you want to try, or something personal you enjoy having a good solo session to when you’re alone.

 

At Your Service

Tiffany

Caringbah Oh Zone Sales Assistant, Educator and Linguist

Toe Sucking For Beginners

sucking toes

Would you like to have more fun with your partner? In that case, you should consider introducing toe sucking into your relationship. Yes, I know, it may sound “ick”. But, there is more to toe sucking than meets the eye. In fact, sucking your partner’s toes is often a deeply sensual experience when done in the right way.

Basic Facts About Toe Sucking

If you have never sucked your partner’s toes before, you should carry on reading. When it comes to toe sucking, there are one or two things you want to know before you get started.

Is Toe Sucking A Fetish?

Of course, there are those who would argue that two sucking is a fetish. For some sucking toes is a fetish. They get turned on by having their toes sucked or played with by someone else. There is a good reason why having your toes sucked or played with is such a turn on.

Our toes are packed with the most fantastic network of nerves. Did you know that our toes are as sensitive as our fingertips? When stimulated in the right way, the nerves in our toes send signals to the brain. As a result, feel-good neurotransmitters called endomorphins are activated. An endomorphin is a natural opioid that gives you a high.

This is probably how the pleasure of toe sucking was discovered in the first place.

Clean Feet And Toes

You should always inspect your partner’s toes before you suck them. If he or she has any warts or ulcers , you certainly should not suck their toes. Any virus or bacteria present is easily transferred into your mouth. In a worst case scenario, they can cause oral and throat infections.

If you don’t find any warts or ulcers on the toes, it is a good idea to clean the toes. Make it into a pleasurable experience by using a pleasant smelling wipe or scented cotton cloth. It can easily be made part of the experience.

Set Yourself Up For Some Good Toe Sucking

Before you start, make sure your partner is comfortable. Laying on a bed works for some while others prefer sitting in a chair. The foot quickly becomes heavy when you have to hold it. Consider resting it on a pillow or a foot rest.

Start by inspecting the toes and then clean the area. Perhaps you can turn the entire thing into a bit of a game. Pretend your a toe specialist and you need to treat the toes to make them feel better.

A Truly Sensual Toe Sucking Experience

To make the experience even more enjoyable, you should consider adding other fun things to your toe sucking experience. For instance, you could kiss the toes and lick them. However, the first thing you should do is to massage the toes.

Massaging the toes will stimulate blood flow and start to stimulate delicate nerve endings. That will cause the nervous system to trigger the release of endomorphins. As you carry on playing with the entire toe area, the nervous system will carry on stimulating the brain.

Kissing, massaging and licking are all fun ideas to add to your toe sucking session with your partner. Remember that the toes are delicate. It is best not to get too heavy handed with the toes.

Should You Bite The Toes?

The jury is out on this one. A little bit of a nibble may not hurt, but biting the toes is not such a good idea. It can break the skin and cause problems with your partner’s toes.

Believe it or not, toes bruise easily. This is not going to look nice.

Also, the skin around the nail can break. Should this happen, infections can enter the bloodstream. That could put a stop to your toe sucking pleasure for a while. Broken skin can lead to infections such as Athlete’s foot. That is the last thing you want when you plan to carry on enjoying your toe sucking sessions.

Don’t forget to ask your partner to return the favor. Once you have tried toe sucking, you will find that it is an activity that you can both enjoy. Add a little bit of role play, and you will soon be having a great time playing and sucking each other’s toes.

Suspension Is An Art – BDSM

suspension bondage

Suspension what is it ?

Suspension is a sport for extremists someone who likes pain mixed with pleasure. It is the practice of pushing sterilized hooks through your back/body. There are different forms of suspension the main one being self-suspension which is a simple body art form of hanging gracefully from hooks for 5 minutes – 2 hours depending on your experience some hang longer I haven’t been able to hang longer than 1 hour and 50 minutes it became to much I lost my concentration the best way to explain the feeling is almost the same as a zen/yoga feeling I guess meditation.

 Bondage Australia

How I got into suspension ?

I personally got into this through loving pain and when I say pain I mean extreme pain I have had a lot of different modifications done to me such as rods through my cheeks and getting hung by them, scarification, skin removal and quite heavily tattooed. I met a guy at a convention I was performing at for piercing/ tattooing and he opened my eyes to suspension. He personally got into it as a kink he would love to fuck women while they were hooked up almost a sick play on bondage some may say. To me this is normal everyday stuff so I would disagree but I cant say ive ever mentioned it to an everyday person and not get the oddest reaction. So needless to say not many people know this side of my life unless they ask about it or want to be involved.

What suspension do I use and how does it work?

Suspension bondage is a form of sexual bondage where a bound person is hung from one or more overhead suspension points. Suspension bondage carries a higher risk than other forms of sexual bondage. There can be a lot of damage to the body and can become dangerous if the person involved has never experienced this before and how to “fuck” while the other is suspended. I would definitely recommend normal self-suspension for anyone who has or needs a bigger adrenaline rush.

 

What I enjoy about suspension ?

Empowerment is the first word to come to mind, strong, independent, beautiful which growing up with siblings that were the typical beautiful size 6 models I struggled….. so I got a lot of plastic surgery to make myself perfect ( well as perfect as I could be or what I had lead myself to believe was perfect ) . I would google perfect women and pick what I didn’t have and get it done I would say I was happy with my results but I wasn’t and wanted more. My point to this is this sport made me feel more empowered than I ever had and beautiful hanging in lingerie like no one was watching. It doesn’t matter what size and shape you are every beautiful human can try this at my heaviest I did suspension at 120 kilos and I have also done it at 48 kilos at my lightest and that was about a year ago now.

Professional suspension?

I started doing this professionally at studios that I cant name. It started when I was 16 not the typical age to start but I also didn’t have a typical life at the time. I had already had my tattoos by then and had grown up very quickly as I had no other choice. I started doing solo gigs for customers then moved to clubs and shows. The addiction got more and more until I couldn’t stop I was doing it up to 14 times a week. The normal person would not do this more than once a month.

 

Cost of suspension ?

Suspension is not to expensive if you are a novice starts out around $250 per session. Its when you get to being a professional and buying all your own gear and performing that the price goes up.

 

Different types of rigging?

There are two main types of rigging: dynamic and static. Dynamic rigging primarily uses ropes, or something similar, and one long piece is used to connect the suspender to the apparatus. In static rigging, each hook is attached to the apparatus separately.The apparatus is usually rigged to a tree, ceiling, scaffolding, etc. using pulleys, a winch or a backhoe.

Different spots of the body suspension can be preformed ?

Chest

A chest suspension is a suspension in which the hooks are placed in the chest. Two hooks are used for this type of suspension.

Coma

A coma suspension is a suspension in which the hooks are placed in the chest, torso and legs, usually in two rows, so the person suspended is lying face up.

Knee

This suspension takes place hooked from the knees and hung vertically with the head closest to the ground and the knees at the top.

Resurrection

A resurrection suspension is a suspension in which the suspended person is held up by hooks, usually in two rows on the belly.

Superman

A superman suspension is the opposite of a coma suspension – the hooks are placed in the back and legs, usually in two rows, so that the person suspended is lying face down. This type of suspension is named superman due to the similarity in appearance to Superman flying.

 

Tiarni is a consultant at the Oh Zone Adult Stores..

The Fetish Walls

wall of fetish
Occasionally walking into an adult store near you and being met with such a large choice of kink gear can be overwhelming. Below we have broken our selections down into sub-types to help you begin to navigate our range of fetish and kink gear. Our sales team are well educated to help you in-store with any questions that you might have.
Have fun!

Blindfolds.

Blindfolds compliment all restraints, sensory and general play. By removing your sense of sight, other senses are heightened. the suspense of not knowing what’s happening, what will be coming next to increase Adrenalin and anticipation. In-store we have a variety of satin, leather, masks and blindfolds to add to your pleasure.

Spanking.

A classic BDSM practice, using your hand or chosen implement to slap, hit or spank a person’s body; their bottom, hands, thighs or feet for example. You can choose to be silly, fun, serious and oh so sexy, intimate and delicious. the bottom is a great place for beginners to try spanking and impact play due to the shape of the surface and padding. Different implements will have varying impacts, feels and if you consent, marks. Leather, silicone, wooden, plastic or canes will have varying sensations such as a “thuddy” feel, stinging, “full feeling which will meet individual preferences.

Whipping ties into spanking, using implements such as our leather floggers, single tails, whips and riding crops. these can be used for impact, creating a deeper sting, a louder kind of kiss against the skin or a more intense biting feel or with a gentler hand, create sensations up and down the spine and the skin. Coupled with a blindfold the limit is the sky.

Restraints.

It’s up to your personal preference, your type of play and fun when it comes to restraints and we intend to cater to your tastes. From metal and leather cuffs that can be used to restrain movement from your wrists, your ankles, legs and more. cuff them together, or attach them to the bed, or using our Under-bed loops to create a variety of new positions. Restrains heighten pleasure in a number of ways, controlling the movement of a person, for providing support for a person to hold on to, to denying a person their sense of touch. Our fetish wall also boasts bondage tape, silicone cuffs and a variety of rope.

adding to restraints include items such as spreader bars, fetish swings and poles.

we have a variety of gags to be used during restraints. A variety of gags are used for different preference and also for people who have not been gagged before. Training sets include varying sizes to start experimenting with and training the mouth to be held open at varying sizes.l Several gags also include rings that maintain the mouth to be kept open for oral play.

When using gags always remember to utilise a system for the person gagged top communicate. Clickers, bells or hand signals are good to make sure that at any point, the person who is gagged can signal they need the gag removed.

Nipple Play.

For many, nipples are an erogenous zone, are sensitive and a great area for foreplay, or to be incorporated in sexual activities. Squeezing, tweaking, light vibrations, tickling, licking, sucking make this sensual approach worth exploring. On our walls, we have a variety of adjustable and fixed nipple clamps both decorative and functional. Suckers add an element of stimulation and simulating oral arousal.

Heat Play

ever enjoyed the deep sensation of wax play? Melting candles of various temperatures and burning time and dripping the wax on parts of the body can illicit a new level to sensory play. Candles burn at different temperatures depending on what wax they are made at and any additional chemicals that are used.

Massage candles are the lowest burning temperature and a good place to start if new to temperature play.

Soy candles burn at roughly 45C and cool quickly on the skin.

Paraffin candles burn hotter between 45C and 65C and require more care when used.

Bees Wax candles burn hotter still between 65C and 90C

Wax will feel hotter the closer to the skin it is dripped on. 30cm away from the body is a good starting point.

Electro Stimulation

Electro Stim play is using shocks of electricity through various implements to cause tingling sensations and pleasurable pain. Electricity is conducted through mediums such as perspex and steel and can be placed on erogenous parts of the body or along the skin for sensory stimulation. We have a range of Electro stim toys on our back wall or in our cases.

Hope that helps you with bdsm australia.

This Happened the First Time I Had Strap-on Sex with My Girlfriend

Loving Pegging

My girlfriend, Sarah, and I were sitting in bed one night when she started to talk about her friend, Cheryl. We both work long hours at the office, and even though we work in the same building, most of our conversations happen in bed. You know, we ask each other about our days, how horrible our bosses were, everyday couple talk. But I never thought we’d talk about strapon dating.

 

“Cheryl had strap-on sex last weekend with some guy she met online!” she said with bewilderment.

“Oh yeah?” I replied, my eyes glued to Antman playing on the tv. Man, if I could shrink like that, the first place I’m going is Area 51.

Sarah’s body turned towards mine, demanding my attention. “Yeah, she said it was a little weird at first because she never had to thrust like that before, but it’s apparently a really fun experience.”

I knew where she was going with this. Sure, Cheryl had a good time, but my butt is a no-go zone. What straight guy would allow their ass to get penetrated by a giant dildo?

 

“Are you sure the guy was straight?” I asked.

“Of course, he was straight. Strap-on sex doesn’t mean you’re gay,” she replied offensively.

I took a deep breath, “is this something you want to try?” I paused in silence, waiting for her answer.

“Well,” she said nervously, “I am really curious about it. I thought we could try something new – it sounds like a lot of fun.”

“Why this? Out of all the things we could try, why this?”

“Why? Why not. We’ve never done it before, I would love to try role reversal, and the male G-spot is in the anus.”

Really? I didn’t want to look curious, so I told her I’d think about it. That night while she was asleep, I did a little research. What sparked my curiosity is the male G-spot; I didn’t know it was in the anus. Does this mean it’s going to feel good? Are my orgasms going to be even better?

 

Sarah had the day off the next morning, so I wrote her a note and left it on my pillow, “To do list: go get a strap-on.” A couple of hours later, she sent me a photo of the kit, with the message, “can’t wait to see you!” To be honest, I was really excited. The minute I got off work, I basically ran home.

 

When I got home, Sarah was on the bed, waiting for me. I climbed on top of her, kissing her passionately. She sucked her finger and then slide it into my ass, massaging it slowly. I could feel my body loosen up; I was excited to give this a try. After a couple of minutes, I got off the bed, grabbed the kit, and handed it to her.

 

Sarah came out of the bathroom with the strap harnessed around her waist. It wasn’t so scary as I imagined. “Listen, I’ve been doing a lot of research about it today, so I think I have a pretty good understanding of it. The most important thing is you tell me if it’s uncomfortable or painful. Don’t try to “take it like a man,” got it? Use the safeword red if you want to stop.” I nodded in agreement, “got it.”

 

She lathered the dildo up with lube and laid on her back. “Wait,” I said, “aren’t we doing it in doggy style?”

“No,” she shook her head, “that’s for more advanced people. I read that doing it cowgirl is the best for beginners.” I climbed on top of her and straddled her with my legs, we both giggled. “I’ve never seen you from this angle before,” she said.

 

I took a deep breath and slowly slid the dildo inside of me. Was there pain? No, but it definitely didn’t feel comfortable at first. Sure, she did everything right and used lots of lube, but nothing can explain the initial feeling of something going up your ass. I didn’t move for the first couple of seconds; I was adjusting to the new feeling. Then slowly, I slid up and down the dildo; not too deep, just enough to ease into it. Sarah had her hands on my thighs, lightly pressing into me.

 

I picked up momentum; a tingling feeling ran through my body. So, I started to go deeper and faster, the sensations streaming up my body; I couldn’t stop, I was jumping like a yo-yo. I knew I was about to orgasm, and that’s something I didn’t want to miss out on. “I want you to come for me,” I heard Sarah say, and that was all I needed to hear. I expected a usual orgasm, but this one was different. It exploded throughout my whole body, paralyzing me for a moment. I had reached pure bliss, something that’s never happened to me before.

 

Sarah looked at me, and I looked at her in silence. I didn’t know what to say; I couldn’t think of words at that moment; I was emotional. “So, how was it?” she asked. I removed the dildo from me and laid next to her on the bed, “Amazing.”

 

For all your strap-on sex needs visit the adultsmart shop.