VIP Interview With Jaiden Lillith Escort, BDSM Professional And Lifestyle Switch

Lifestyle switch

Jaiden Lillith is a gentleman, lady, escort, professional Dom/me, educator and a Shibari artist. A BDSM switch who delves into the world of both feminine and masculine sexual identities, the name Jaiden Lillith is divided into two worlds with Master Jaiden and Mistress Lillith. With an open mind and sex-positive views on life, they enjoy the idea of exploring and experimenting with all the facets of a person’s sexuality while placing an important emphasis on the beauty of connection in all the possible ways.

Jaiden can be found in Sydney at Temple 22 or in Melbourne at Fetish House and can be booked for private sessions, lessons and public performances. Jaiden is a sadist, inflicting pain and humiliation for pleasure with experiences that are indepth, seductive, subtle, theatrical and exotic. Jaiden has a large selection of BDSM toys to choose from ranging from crops, whips, ropes, restraint systems and so much more. Most importantly Jaiden Lillith is in complete control of all encounters with years of experiences and knowledge that has been gained from training with the best within the BDSM, fetish and kink community. All professional business is handled with complete discretion.

This is a VIP interview with Jaiden Lillith which explores Jaiden’s inspirations, gender fluidity, BDSM play, shibari and exploring the world of people’s sexual lifestyles.

BDSM master and mistress
Image: Jaiden Lillith at Temple22

Tell me about yourself

My name is Jaiden Lillith, I am an escort, BDSM professional and lifestyle switch, kink educator, Shibari performer and musician.

What inspired you to become a professional BDSM practitioner, performer and educator?

I’ve always been inspired to connect with others and create a unique intimate space in art as a musician, creator and performer, to be able to deeply affect others and to take people on a journey. I’m also a very sexual, passionate and sensual person with a love of pushing boundaries and exploring the edges of the human mind, psychology and desire. Sex work and BDSM have given me the opportunity bring those passions together and to deeply affect, explore and enter people’s minds and bodies on a very intimate level.

In terms of education I love imparting knowledge to people and helping them on their journeys. I get a deep satisfaction from seeing others take the knowledge and becoming proficient with it – their victories feel like my victories. I also feel like I’m corrupting the world, which makes me happy, haha!

What inspires you?

Everything! Talking to my fellow practitioners about their own experiences as well as having the honour to witness them work and play is definitely something that inspires me on a day to day basis.

“Nothing is true, everything is permitted.”

I first read this in William S Burrough’s “Naked Lunch”, itself a great inspiration to me with its mixture of surreality, alien sexuality and evocative language. This quote to me embodies our essential freedom of self and also the responsibilities inherent in that – that we are the creators of our own destinies and are free to explore the possibilities – the only barriers in many instances are only those of our own creation. That always inspired me to seek out alternate means of existence, of connection, of sexuality and ways of thinking – of stepping outside of the codes of morality by majority and the cultural norms.

The same transcendent feeling I get from experiencing great art, and especially the visceral and dynamic nature of music is something I try to bring to my sessions. Jung and Nietzsche have also shaped my philosophies and attitudes with their writings on the subconscious and power dynamics respectively, which gives a lot of meaning to what I do. There is an amazing quote from Dune by Frank Herbert which is something that I think of often.

 “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

I think there is a lot of bravery involved in submission, and I have respect and empathy for those who choose to truly submit, and honor their trust and gift with the utmost care and compassion, even and especially within the most extreme of sessions.

What is it like being gender fluid mistress and master?

There are different energies and headspaces inherent in whether I am Mistress Lillith, Master Jaiden or Sai Jaiden Lillith, drawing varying amounts of feminine and masculine embodiment – but all of my faces are true, they are aspects that I can bring to the fore as opposed to masks that I wear, like my own spirit animals that I can call upon for their strengths, my others.

There is a history within many ancient cultures of those existing outside the binary norms of gender and identity taking a shaman-like or spiritual role in their society and I like to think that in some way I am a part of that tradition. Being an outsider frees you from many of the societal constraints that identifying with a binary can make you feel compelled to do which is liberating but can also be isolating.

BDSM professional
Buy Now | Bondage and fetish gear

How does being Gender Fluid benefit affect your BDSM practices?

It gives me a range of interactions and experiences as well as a play partner/client base which I wouldn’t find as otherwise. As someone who has found submission as well as dominance in both masculine and feminine oriented roles, I can draw on from many different perspectives with an understanding of how energy flows in different configurations.

I see a lot of feminisation clients who wouldn’t be interested in a CIS presenting male or aren’t interested in that kind of interaction with a female. They choose me because they can see that I understand in a way that many practitioners don’t from an experiential sense. There are also those who don’t want a hyper-masculine master interaction, but find something enticing and seductive in a biological male who embodies many feminine aspects. Those who feel themselves to be more fluid or identifying as a gender other than they were assigned at birth also find an immediate sense of identification and rapport with me.

In terms of play, my stance, affect, voice, bearing, the way I touch, the way I hurt, it all changes between those selves. It’s not a series of small things that I do consciously, but it’s more that when I inhabit those personas it changes the way I do things.

In a more practical sense, it means I have at least two, if not three entire wardrobes of clothing to maintain….

How did you gain skills for BDSM, shibari and kink play?

I’m an intuitive person and I pick things up very quickly. I’m a big believer in experiencing things first hand – as a switch I’ve experienced the delights and power of submission and I’ve found that that has given me some of the best insights into how I choose to engage. Play parties, learning with people and growing with them personally, on the job experience, training sessions and skill exchanges with other BDSM professionals.

Being an empath, I’m very sensitive to the emotions of others and this helps me to create connective sessions and to keep things safe. I began shibari as a rope bottom, and experiencing the intoxication of subspace was crucial to me in understanding the potential of the rope, and having found that space I love leading others into it and enjoying the energies from the top side of things. I was very lucky to have begun my rope journey with an incredible female rigger, whose style greatly influenced and still influences my shibari.

Attending workshops and being trained by places such as Sydney Rope Dojo, Studio Kink and intensive workshops with international shibari practitioners such as Nawashi Kanna and Osada Steve have also provided me with a swift growth in my shibari skills. I’ve also been lucky to have been friends with and have drawn on the knowledge of some of the great professional and lifestyle dom/mes in our local scene. There have also been a lot of transferrable mental skills from creative aspects such as being a performer and a musician and composer in terms of creating and holding a space.

I am always learning, always growing.

Model in shibari ropes
Image: Jaiden Lillith and AmirahKitsune at Inversion

What are your favourite memories from working as a BDSM practitioner?

My best memories as a BDSM practitioner are those sessions which take people deep, and leave them (and me) strongly affected. Being with them laughing, crying, holding them, that sense of aftermath is beautiful. Stroking the head of a man who was so affected by their experience that they were thanking me in tears as I stroked their head. Those so affected by the rope that they just lay in my lap smiling for a good long while after the session ended. The face of a man who upon opening their eyes in front of a mirror, was deeply and beautifully affected to find a feminized self-staring back at him. A hardcore interrogation session where all of my electro toys were and a large number of medical implements were used, and a person who embraced their role with gusto so that we had an amazingly fun experience together. An interrogation/sexual training/shibari session where the person who entered the room shy and feeling guilt about their kinks was by the end gleefully lost in abandon. All these moments and more are some of my most treasured memories.

Professional escort
Image: Jaiden Lillith With Bondage Ropes

Performance highlights would be performing at OzKinkFest – it was an amazing experience to be alongside such great performers and artists like Avalon, Mistress Tokyo and more. I also pushed myself and my rope bottom to the limits during the performance, which is always an intoxicating feeling.

I think the workshops at OzKinkFest have to be the highlight of my educational career so far, especially the Genitorture workshop. It was delightful running through free flowing mini sessions, and the class cheering on as I made my workshop partner electrocute herself on the anus by making her press the button of the shock device was great! That also ranks as one of her favourite memories, by the way.

Shibari performer
Image: Jaiden Lillith and AmirahKitsune OzKinkFest

What do you find satisfying about being in sex work and being a professional dominant?

In both, it is sharing the moments of vulnerability and making a deep connection with them. Being a professional dominant allows me to explore the inner workings of people. It is a privilege having them open up to me, finding their personal blueprints and the road to their desires, the frisson between what they think they need and what they actually need.

Finding that moment of vulnerability, seeing the look of surrender and the intensity of the sensations and feelings, the satisfaction of unlocking someone’s authentic self and helping them find that moment of release. Feeling like I’ve helped someone overcome their own barriers.

Being able to witness and hold people in these incredibly cathartic moments, walking them through these intense experiences, getting to unleash my sadist, parts of myself which could manifest in negative ways but within these contexts are positive is incredibly liberating and affirming.

You are known for your shibari work, what do you find satisfying about shibari?

I love the ropes! They provide a tool of sensual/sadistic/sexual connection that is so versatile. You can wrap someone entirely, embracing their entire being with the ropes. It’s something that you can put together in so many different ways, from the simplest floor ties to the most complex suspensions – I love being able to free form with the rope, being able to flow with them. There is something very personal to me about layering rope, about taking someone deeper and deeper into bondage. With rope I can control an entire body, what it feels, how it looks, what shapes it is making. I am always holding them. It is wonderful and intoxicating.

Escort in bondage ropes
Image: Jaiden Lillith and AmirahKitsune at Rope Chill

What have you found that people need to do to be happy with their sexual lifestyles and sexuality?

I think people definitely need to be open minded and open hearted, being open to new experiences is one of the best ways to grow as a person. Being honest and authentic with yourself and others – if something doesn’t cause harm to another person, or irrecoverable harm to yourself then I believe that exploring both sexual/kink worlds and your own sexuality is a great way to be happy and comfortable in your own skin. There is nothing more damaging than hiding a part of yourself, and feeling alone and isolated with that feeling. There is nothing more liberating than being authentically true to yourself, and finding those who not only accept but revel in the same. Society has a way of imposing norms and expectations that don’t always line up with the true self that people are.

Within this freedom though, boundaries become ever more important – finding and standing by what feels ok to you and what feels like it is having a negative impact on your wellbeing, and being able to communicate this clearly and honestly – and respecting those boundaries and needs in others.

An awareness that there are behaviours and ways of thinking which are unacceptable and unhealthy in the everyday world which can be extremely hot and liberating in the kink/sexual world – when it is in a defined boundary and space. Things like consensual non-consent, sexism, role play scenarios can all be deliciously fun and even healing in some situations. It’s only when something imposes negative harm on another that it becomes a problem that you need to address and work through.

What services do you provide?

So many! Haha, my most popular ones would have to be shibari, forced-bi, feminisation, role play, CBT/Genitorture, electroplay, sexual training, and cuckolding.

Visiting my website Fields of Lillith which provides a comprehensive list of such.

I also am a full service escort, providing companionship and intimacies of all kinds from conversation, cuddles, massages to sex.

Where can people find you?

I mainly session through Temple 22, although I do work with other independent workers for doubles sessions like cuckolding, as well as outcalls. I do travel to QLD and VIC as well – in Melbourne I tend to session from Fetish House.

Is there any questions or information you would like to add?

Jaiden Lillith is also an event organiser and promoter for the Sanctuary BDSM club in Sydney, as well as the vocalist and co-writer for the Industrial Electronic band Z(Cluster)

Sexpert is our resident full time sex blogger. Having successfully owned and managed a number of blogs relating to women’s lifestyle, she easily blended into her role as chief blogger of the Adultsmart Blog. She is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend. She also runs Good Girl Guide, a sexual lifestyle blog.

The True Expectations Of Love!

Couple in love

Love is a variety of different emotional and mental states that range from the deepest interpersonal affection to a simple pleasure. Being loved and appreciated brings that feeling of being someone special. In a checklist of life, it stands out to be a significant checkpoint for some people, an important milestone, in order to have a blissful and successful life.

When we look around we have a feeling that everyone is being loved by everyone and we wish to have what everyone else especially when it comes to love. We see in different forms of media, couples in relationships exchanging words like “I love you sweetheart”, “I love you honey”, “I love you baby” and other similar phrases. We feel we are supposed to have that love and that love will surely make us cheerful. But does it?

If a husband forgets his wife’s birthday she starts thinking his love has diminished. If he doesn’t pay attention to her hairdo or doesn’t compliment her new attire, she nurtures doubts about his love for her. If a wife has a long conversation on phone with an office colleague horizontal lines appear on a husband’s forehead. Her omnipresence on social sites may have an adverse impression on his mind.  The words:

“He loves me, he loves me not.”

“She loves me, she loves me not.”

These words are a constant turmoil going on in the mind.

The Signs Of Love Is Not A Check Point Or A Tick Box

Thus love changes form and becomes a check point or a tick box that must be ticked if all is well or crossed out if it deviates from the trajectory. If love becomes a checkpoint, then it becomes a commodity, a thing to be bought in a mall, a possession and a status symbol.  When it is treated like a commodity, it becomes deceitful. So much so, people start expecting in return authentic love, unconditional love, pure and unadulterated love. Just like interest on the fixed deposits in the bank, dividends on shares and statutory bonus on a yearly salary.

This, then is not an honest transaction. People approach love like they are buying a smartphone. It must have three years warranty, unbreakable glass, latest operating system, dual camera, headphone socket and countless built-in memory. And oh, it should work trouble free! Ultimately seekers of such unconditional love become sad. Waking up each day, tearful and sobbing, not knowing or understanding why nobody has stuck around.

Love is not a checkpoint. It is not a checkbox. People are not objects. Neither are they commodities. People are living beings. They have flesh, blood, a heart and a mind. Treating them as merchandise certainly kills the desire, the wish, and the expectations of real love.

Couple looking to the future
Image: Loving couple

What Is True And Real Love?

Real love is a labor. A pledge, an effort, and a commitment. The same way as we do our job. Do we stick our business card on our forehead to announce who we are, just to tell people our title and designation? No.  Love is not a showpiece either. It is an investment made day by day.  Every day deeply caring for the other person. That is why love is hard to get. Good people cannot be chosen like it is done in a game of musical chairs. Good people are the privilege to have on your list. Treat them with respect. Reciprocate their feelings.

We reap as we sow, we get what we give and that includes treating other people honestly, with poise and esteem that we wish back in return.

What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love.

This is what Don Juan had said.

Adultsmart’s blog is proud to announce the newest expert Dr. Satish Bendigiri to our blogging team.

Dr. Bendigiri holds a Ph.D , MBA, M.Com, B.Com, DPM and has corporate experience relating to human resources and public relations. He was a Director at Deogiri Institute of Technology and Management Studies, Aurangabad of Maharashtra State, and was also a Professor at Bharati Vidyapeeth Deemed University, Pune. He currently works as a freelance consultant. He writes passionately about love, marriage and growing together.

Changing The Face Of Pornography

Woman in porn

I want to change the definition of porn and here is why;

I have recently watched the Netflix show Big Mouth (I definitely recommend it) and in one of the episodes a steamy book is circulated around the characters and one of them, Jay is very confused by this “wait a minute, you’re telling me all these girls are walking around reading porn!” And this, along with the recent Fifty Shades release, a few recent documentaries had me thinking, what do we as a society really classify as porn and is it changing?

What Is Porn And How Is It Changing?

Most people know the old adage when it comes to the porn vs art debate of “knowing porn when I see it” but with a society that is increasingly permeated by hypersexualised imagery, easily accessible sex videos etc is that something we can really say anymore?  We adults may “know porn when we see it” but do the kids?  They unlike us have grown up constantly able to easily access this content and are somewhat desensitised to it, so when they are grown ups will they know porn when they see it?

The point I am getting to is that maybe we need to start, as a society, begin to have a conversation around porn, its place and definition. Not to limit or sensor but to tackle the issues that are arising out of porn’s increased sales, accessibility, use and participation.

Talking to my little brother who is now 15 it becomes very clear that this conversation is far overdue. Last time I was home I made him sit down with me and have a talk. He knows what I do for work and because of that he feels that I am the best person to talk to (I’m not sure about best but if he is talking I’m happy) and what started out with questions and clarifying terms has begun to evolve into a discussion around porn and how it should be viewed.

Porn And How It Is Viewed

Many kids first contact with porn is way before their parents believe it is (kids as young as 7 or 8 have reported regularly accessing pornography via the internet) and because these young minds are entering this very confronting world with little to no guidance they begin to form their opinions on sex based on what they see on the screen. My little brother did.  He believed that if the size of his penis wasn’t close to that of the guys on the screen, girls wouldn’t like him. And the penis size question was just the start.

We then began talk about how the act of sex is nothing like it is depicted on the screen. I came to him with his analogy, porn is like an action movie. In real life most days you will walk down the street with little to no car chases, explosions etc it’s the same with porn. When you have sex it will be much less over the top and more real. This seemed to help something click with how he viewed porn and I hope this has moved him to a place where he can enjoy porn but see it for what it really is, a fantasy.

The problem is not every family has a loud mouth older sister who works in a sex shop and is constantly thinking about these issues and that can make it harder. Couple this with the fact that porn seems to becoming part of the societal norm and we have the makings for a perfect storm of confused horned up kids that need guidance.

The First Step Is To Define What Porn Is

For me the first step is about defining what porn is and I think for so many people my definition will make them uncomfortable. I think we should define porn as any content (image, book, video and advertisement) that aims to arouse. Now, before we continue I know this will include images and content that is currently not considered porn and I want that. But do not misunderstand me I’m not asking for these things to be gotten rid of or kept for adult eyes only rather I would like people to engage in a conversation with their children around the meaning of these images, their repercussions and effects so when they do come to sex videos and imagery (what is considered porn now) that will have some context into how they can approach this content. I want to remove the stigma and whispers from the word “porn” and use it as a correct term for sexualised images.

Sexy woman in lingerie
Image: Sexualised Imagery

I also believe that this re-definition of porn would force a lot of people to reconsider the images and content they engage with and hopefully bring a level of awareness to sex’s real presence in our daily lives. This increased discussion could mean that the types of conversations I have with my brother can be a regular occurrence in houses with teenagers, it could mean that people who have worked in porn experience less stigma later in life, we as a society could see a change of our attitudes towards sex that have us being more open and more honest.

The reality is my wanting to change the definition of porn and consider more things under this term doesn’t change a thing, sex and porn will still be there, so will advertising using sex to sell but at least if we give it a name hopefully channels of discussion will open up and our young people won’t feel lost by the often confusing and unspoken rules we are all meant to learn but no one is teaching.

Author: Jamie is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centre

Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not!

Clues And Warning Signs Of Psychopathic Seduction

Psychopathic relationship

Your deepest sexual desires are mirrored, that’s why it felt so passionate and flawless, like you were both in sync when together. The flow was limitless and fluid, they knew the exact places to touch, what to say and when to do the right things the compatibility was perfection.

Or so you think…

After you felt empty, fulfilled sexually but not emotionally, you kind of lay there lifeless for a moment stuck in your own thoughts during all the identity erosion there was no emotion.

You misunderstood the passion as emotion, why?

Because those most intimate fantasies you thought you shared were actually just grooming and observing, tailoring their behaviour to match yours. You were at your most vulnerable but they sat, watched and learnt; they never matched you in the spiritual pleasure you felt.

Their sexual approval and flattery becomes needed in such a way you feel desperate as that’s the only way you feel attractive. You become a target in which they control. They use their pull on you to make you feel desperate, needy and slutty. In the beginning, they couldn’t get enough of you but once you’re hooked the mind games start to play out, sex is withheld, making it a privilege that they hold.

Fundamentally, it is false that psychopaths make good lovers, generally they have low impulse control and are very promiscuous.  In the beginning, he is hyper sexualised with you, the “chase” and “conquest” excites him; you are merely a novelty. You drew him in though, the aura of your romance was seductive to him, and he couldn’t keep his hands from embracing your body, anywhere and everywhere. Control is vital in every aspect, how you dress, what you do, what you say, whether you wear makeup or not, to dress in a provocative manner, to practically cover yourself from head to toe, to humble them and satisfy their desire for indiscretion.

Your pleasure is their power.

Why do people have insecure attachment styles?

Recent studies into psychopaths have enlightened us to the fact that when women have “insecure attachment styles” it is often that they find themselves falling for the empty emotional core of the psychopath. This is instead of facing their fears of intimacy, and on top of that they are persistently dissatisfied with vaginal sex, they may have more anal sex and achieve orgasms through the use of vibrators. Research has shown that genitals are not the only part of the body sufficient for orgasm, without emotional fulfilment and a mental state of secure attachment there isn’t a sufficient depth for the ability to orgasm without sexual health aids.

Those of us with insecure attachment styles are anxious about intimacy, and thus avoid real closeness. A surface style relationship is more appealing than one of substance and depth. Women who fear intimacy or those who are avoidant, anxious or fear abandonment are stuck in a catch-22 situation, but becoming anxious is far less terrifying than the fear of actually becoming close to someone and allowing them the possibility to abandon them later on.

There is a genetic factor that contributes to insecure attachment styles where there is an alteration in the serotonin – receptor gene. But this isn’t always the full story and if it were to be a blanket reason for every self-depriving and self-destructive person they would have their fate there and then. More defines your insecure attachment style with how often you have an orgasm, your childhood, friends, social interactions all influence into this.

Image: Psychopathic lover

You may question why all this matters? And how can you obliterate all the years of your insecure attachment patterns?

To put it rather bluntly you need to stop dating men who cannot appreciate how you feel, and who you are. There is a land that psychopaths live in and that is in the realm of fantasy, there is no concept of standing by you during difficult times or even being compassionate towards your needs, and the only time he is close is when you are satisfying his immediate needs.

There is a brain-based method called spreading of alternatives this is where an individual evaluates the chosen alternative in a more positive manner and the rejected alternative more negatively; you need to start having vaginal orgasms rather than only anal and vibrator ones. There is a detachment you experience with anal and vibrator orgasms and you need to allow yourself to feel the full intimacy and vulnerability that comes with a vaginal orgasm.

How do you stop the cycle of insecure attachment patterns?

You have two alternatives to stopping this vicious cycle of endless surface relationships. Number one is by not changing, and being in the empty relationship without real intimacy or vaginal orgasms. Number two is to face your fear of intimacy and move on to someone and something more fulfilling, because your brain is so accustomed to your insecure attachment style it cannot make a distinction between the two, and so it simply regresses to what you already know every time.  Making a list of why staying away from intimacy is harmful to you is always a visual help, it may cause your anxiety to be heightened but only due to the fact you are conquering your deepest fears head on.

Ideas are not set in stone. When exposed to thoughtful people, they morph and adapt into their most potent form.

Ironically psychopaths are lovers who cannot love, this isn’t always obvious at first when the psychopath becomes infatuated with you and is pursuing you intensely, but becomes agonisingly apparent over time. If you don’t become numb to the mistreatment or stay in the realm of denial you come to the realisation that everything that is important and vital in a relationship is missing, just when you thought you had it all.

Morgan x

Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.

A Beginner’s Guide To Getting An Erotic Massage

Asian massage therapist

Have you always wanted an erotic massage but have no idea what to expect? Well if you are stressed out at work, dealing with problems at home or struggling to feed your sexual cravings it might be exactly what the doctor ordered. Though it’s sometimes painted with sleazy connotations, the bodywork actually has much more depth than horny middle-aged men getting their fix. In this day in age erotic massage therapy could be a benefit for everyone. And here I am to tell you more…

Massage parlours are everywhere…

If you live in a city centre you probably walk past an adult massage parlour on a daily basis, built up areas are saturated with them! Some salons you may even be familiar with and can’t help but wonder what goes on behind closed doors. Erotic massage is often seen as a taboo subject but I can’t stress more that despite contrary belief it is NOT illegal! The service is popular with businessmen, who often opt for an erotic massage on their lunch break and after work.

They often blend into the surroundings

One of the reasons erotic massage parlours are discreet is to protect their clients. Many maybe married, have kids and are thriving professionals who obviously don’t want to be associated with sexual services. Therefore many erotic massage providers are often masked as ‘Thai massage shops’ or are based in private houses to blend into the surroundings

They destroy any evidence of your booking

Most erotic massage parlours advise you to call to book before your session, but don’t worry about any information being leaked – evidence of your booking is usually erased straight after your session! You can always give a fake name and hide your number if you really want to.

You get the choice of girls

The first time you arrive at the parlour might be nerve-wracking. A delicious mix of masseuses will stand in front of your very eyes waiting to be chosen for your hour of thrill – you’ve probably never felt as overwhelmed!

It’s ok to be nervous

Don’t worry if you’re feeling shy, erotic masseuses are used to first-timers on a daily basis and will do all they can to put you at ease. Some parlours even have a reception where you can sit down and chat to the girls to get a feel for your favourite beforehand. You might even be offered a glass of wine to steady your nerves.

They will adjust your massage to your personal preference

Once you’ve selected your gorgeous therapist you will be shown to the bedroom. Your gorgeous girl will discuss with you beforehand what you want from your session. The beauty of erotic massage is that the style can be moulded to suit your personal preferences, whether you fancy some relaxing romance or something more adventurous.

All erotic massages are performed with the receiver and therapist both naked, but if you’re feeling a little nervous then do inform your masseuse –they’ll be able to undress to the comfort level as the session gradually progresses.

The session starts with a non-sexual full-body massage

The masseuse will place a towel down on the bed and lie you down as she warms your skin with massage oil. Though the purpose of erotic asian tantric massage is to arouse, the massage doesn’t actually start sexual. The masseuse will commence with a full body massage, similar to the soothing strokes derived from the classic style.  She’ll begin to work on your tension built in your neck, back and shoulders which will calm release all the unwanted stress within your muscles. This part of the massage is considered as the starter, there’s plenty more of this sensational feast to come!

Chinese tantric masseuse
Image: Asian Massage Therapist

More sensual strokes will be introduced

As your masseuse gently moves you onto your front from your back she will use what is known as an ‘edging’ technique. To perform ‘edging’ she will start to run her tantalising fingertips from your chest to erogenous zones (sensitive points), getting closer and closer to your manhood each time.  As your toes begin to curl and your body starts to shake she will manoeuvre her soft hands back to the top of your physique. This will send rushes of orgasmic pleasure down your spine and will be repeated until you’re at a point of no return.

The session does include sex

How sexual does the session get? Will I get a happy ending? Does the massage involve sex? These are common questions surrounding erotic massage and the answer depends on which masseuse or parlour you go to. You may-be familiar with the terms ‘happy ending’ and ‘full service massage’ but are maybe unsure what they mean. However, once you’ve had an erotic massage you’ll become accustomed to the services. Erotic happy ending generally means the naked massage with hand relief, while full service is exactly what it says on the tin and is the full she-bang. Not only will the masseuse pleasure you with her hands, she will also introduce oral and penetration as part of your experience.

You should always remain respectful

Although an erotic massage often progresses to being super sexual it’s important you are respectful to your masseuse at all times. French-kissing, pleasuring your therapist and oral without condom are often considered as extra and should be discussed with your therapist at the beginning of your session. They’re usually more than happy to adhere to your requests! Many erotic massage parlours also operate 24 hour hotlines where you can ring and discuss your queries before making your appointment.

Everyone should get an erotic massage..

You may think it’s a little naughty but there are SO many reasons why everyone should get an erotic massage. It can boost your sexual stamina, provides escape from life stresses and unwinds your tired and worn out muscles – it really is a no brainer! There’s guaranteed to be an erotic massage parlour in your area, so why not try a session today?

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.