The Modern Dating Age

Modern Dating



Perils of Dating Online

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Dating Online can be a cruel world and I think that when you’re ‘anonymously’ on the other side of a screen, it makes it worse. There are many Perils of Dating Online. We live in an age of ‘keyboard warriors’, people who will post some of the most vile comments for what they think is a worthy cause or worse, just because they’re on the other side of a screen and think they’ll get away with it. Everywhere you look, from restaurant reviews, to dating apps, to facebook messages to even gaming community boards – there are vitriolic, hateful and sexist comments.There are some people out there who just get a rise out of people, not because they hardheartedly support a topic but because they can or it is fun to them. Without the keyboard, if these people were to talk to you directly, I don’t believe that 80% of them would talk to anyone with the language that they have used. because in real life their a consequences to what you say.

‘Reviewers’ have destroyed businesses because someone has posted an ‘injustice’ done to them with no understanding of the actual context of the events, this has led to businesses receiving death threats, hurtful and hateful reviews and comments which have no basis in actual reality and/or fact. Dating Online, or even finding a date is sometimes one of the toughest things to do. You might just have left school, started a career and getting out there in the world, or you might have been with someone for years when suddenly they upped and left you. Either or, it could be a vulnerable place you find yourself in and then you have to bare all for the dating scene. Sometimes if you don’t reply to someone quickly enough or decided not to respond, you can get a lot of messages from someone you don’t want contact with. Or you might get the odd dick pictures here or there but that is just one of the Perils of Dating Online.

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Photo: The Perils of Dating Online


This ‘window shopping’ environment can be soul crushing especially when you’re on the receiving end of it all. I get it, you have your preferences, your fantasies, your habits and we live in a world of instant gratification where you can type in gay Asian Porn and that’s precisely what you’ll get. Yet there is a discrepancy between the idea that your porn preferences are not deemed as racist, yet your ‘preferences’ on Grindr are, and many people actually struggle with the idea that specifically listing your race likes IS racist. On one hand, you can’t particularly blame them, it’s an ‘insta-sex app’ and they’re essentially listing their ‘preferences’. In can also be quite tough if you begin a lot of conversations with people and so many people just don’t end up being anything like they say. Or when you meet them they can end up being a cat fish and try to scam you for your money. Then when you meet them they are a completely different person.

What they don’t realise is the damage this causes, and the damage that some of the responses cause. You might be comfortable to a certain extent with your body, mind and sexuality (Though, arguable considering the explicitness of some of the ‘preferences’ listed), but the queer world is already shallow enough without it being explicit. By listing preferences, you’re essentially slamming the door in someone’s face, by commenting ‘Ewww, you’re ugly’ to someone is downright degrading I have personally had someone write back, ‘I can see why you’re in an open relationship’ when I obligingly sent him a photo of my partner. What?

Yes, Grindr is an instant sex application just like Tinder, but you don’t go to a restaurant and only ever order the same thing every time. By limiting ones self, you’re not truly exploring the world and I think that that is quite a sad thing to do – just because you’re not instantly attracted to them does not mean you ever will be, and by limiting yourself you really do not know what you could be missing out on. That’s the problem with online dating, you’re given a small confined space to ‘sell’ yourself on, and quite frankly to encompass ones personality on a page means you’re inevitably selling yourself short.

Author: Stephen Smith – BA Of Social Sciences, M.Ed


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