Mutual Masturbation

Masturbation has long been proven to be an effective tool in our arsenal for self care, self exploration and all things considered.  Mutual Masturbation is very safe sex alternative.

 

Recently with social media, gaining trends and more positive discussion and open sexuality; masturbation is rising above the stigma that has unfairly surrounded it in the past decades. And so it should be, Masturbation is amazing.

 

A very under-rated facet of masturbation that does not get anywhere near enough of the spotlight is Mutual Masturbation.

 

When we think of mutual masturbation what first pops to head is long distance relationships, sharing that erotic phone call or scandalous skype/Facetime video call in nothing but your very intimate of wears. Or at least that is what most people thought of when I asked them as I went to write this article.

 

True.

 

These forms of mutual masturbation are very mutual and very sexy, hot and heedy. I love them, I love the ability that it brings to long distance relationships, or even not to long distance ones. Out for the night? Send something sexy and masturbate together. The principle of finding each other simultaneously arousing enough to bring you pleasure and climax even though you’re apart- bellissimo.

 

There are even more and more toys that are tailored to making the most of long distance masturbation like Lovense, Kiroo and We Vibe.

 

But that was not the type of Mutual Masturbation I am referring to. The type that definitely should be explored more, talked about more and definitely used more. Mutual Masturbation in real life involves more than one person enjoying themselves, together in the same room. It may sound like an oxymoron, but trust me, it isn’t. If anything, it may be one of the most intimate things you can do with your partner(s). It is watching your play partner giving themselves pleasure, while you give yourself pleasure, and they watch you.

Let’s start by looking at why this is such an intimate mode of sexual exploration. Yes, sexual intercourse is very intimate, it is the joining of your bodies, it is creating connection. When we masturbate however, we masturbate usually with thoughts or stimuli that turn us on. These can be various such as porn, videos, stories, memories, fantasies, dreams. How often can you say though, that the object of your arousal is in front of you, a breath away, watching you pleasure yourself, watching you get aroused by their presence?

Intimate right?

Mutual Masturbation also brings out that tiny little piece of us that some may be curious about Voyeurism and exhibitionism but without the crowded audience or public. Voyeurism is the act of watching others participating in sexual exploits, Exhibitionism is enjoying being watched.

Mutual masturbation is a brilliant avenue to learn about your play partner and for them to learn about you too. What better way to learn what a person likes, how they get off, what their spots are, how they like being caressed, then to actually see them doing so. To make matters even sexier, you can hear it too. No need to hold back, using your words to help tell the story, can only enhance your experience. Expressing gratitude at the sight, the sound, the enjoyment of the moment or the sight of certain things either of you are doing may be enough to tip you over the edge.

 

This can also be a wonderful foray into using toys. Have you been nervous about using toys during sex? Using toys during mutual masturbation may be the key. This is your time to showcase your tips and tricks, heck, if you wanted to, you could even request your play partner to use something. The reason this is a good and neutral ground to try out incorporating toys can be numerous. Some partners may feel intimidated by the use of toys in their usual repertoire, using toys during mutual masturbation will highlight the pleasure but also highlight that that pleasure is not taking away from the connection and the intimacy with your play partner. It is an extension. If you have been worried about the logistics, this is also a trial run in how you can figure out how to best incorporate the toys into your routine.

 

And just think, how sexy is it to say or hear “Oh I wish I could taste you while using this toy.” or “I want to feel you inside me while using this”. I can definitely see how a person would feel aroused at these prospects. Again, it is a beautiful and exciting notion that toys are an extension of our sexual intimacy, they are not replacements.

Mutual Masturbation doesn’t need to end here though, it can be part one, the first course. You don’t simply need to strictly never touch each other, that is the beauty of this. It may evolve organically into sharing the touch, sharing an orgasm, together, helping each other orgasm. Who says you can’t kiss while you share this intimate experience? There are no rules, you make them yourself. This is a type of exploration that demands more positive discussion.

 

This being said, it can be very daunting to expose yourself during your most private pleasures, even to your closest person. If you would like to try mutual masturbation but your play partner is hesitant, do not be disheartened. Take it slow, try broaching the subject such as would you like to watch me masturbate (or cum). You could try watching porn/videos together, reading salacious stories together and inviting them to show you what they like. Like all acts, consent is important, but it can also take time. Remember, we are coming out of an era where masturbation was still taught as bad, so for many people, masturbation was a private act and when they masturbated, they kept it private so that they would not be reprimanded or judged. Being public about masturbation, even in your relationship may be a big step for some people. Be kind. Be open. Be understanding. Show them this article, and let’s start the conversation and bring masturbation and mutual masturbation out of the darkness.

 

At your Service,

Tiffany

OhZone Sales Consultant, Educator and Promoter of Masturbation

How to have a MMF without including another Male

Fantasies can be tricky subjects especially with something like How to have a MMF when you have a long term partner who might not be as sexually inclined as what you would be. Sometimes if they are not as sexually experienced or sexually mature, your requests to try not so common things can come off as either an attack or something that might be ‘weird’ or ‘unusual’ to your partner. This tends to be a common theme when women ask their partners (most of the time they struggle to muster up the courage because they don’t want their partner to think that they want to cheat on him) to have a threesome that includes another male joining her and her male partner, making it a Male Male Female (MMF) threesome. This idea also plays on the sexual fantasy of Double Penetration which is a female being penetrated both vaginally and anally simultaneously. But how do you fulfil this fantasy when your partner doesn’t want to invite another male into the bedroom? There are a few things you can do to actually substitute the additional male out (although it won’t be the actual fantasy, this solution is a lot better than nothing at all). By substituting another person for multiple different positions and toys, you can actually have more fun for yourself and your partner. So here are a few steps you can take and/or do to get you close to fulfilling the fantasy without another man marching all up on your partner’s masculine territory.

COMMUNICATION

First things first, you have to communicate to your partner about your fantasy. This might be a tough conversation depending on who you choose to lay with. If you have experienced issues in the past when it comes to being open and communicating, then it might be best to really consider if this is the right person for you (Why do you want to be with someone who won’t even hear you out?). However, if you are with someone who is open to listening to you communicate then the first option would be to sit down and express to them what your fantasy is. It is super important in this conversation that you reassure him that it’s not about emotionally involving another man into the equation but rather the physical aspect. Explain that he is more than enough and that this has just always been a one off fantasy. By reassuring your partner that he is more than enough and he provides you with all the pleasure you need, this will heap him hopefully come to a decision to consider inviting another male into the bedroom. Also if he isn’t so comfortable with the idea and says he isn’t interested in doing it, he doesn’t walk away with a bitter taste in his mouth thinking that he isn’t good enough. In the case of the later option, this is where you can bring in a whole bunch of toys to substitute and fulfil.

As we all know, toys are a comrade for men rather than a competitor. They are designed to help increase pleasure for both partners and often help women reach climax. So what type of toys can you introduce to give you that MMF feeling? Well there are 2 different options that I would recommend.

DOUBLE PENETRATION

A double penetration dildo (Please see image for visual recognition). This toy is great for the exact same rhythm that the penis is doing when it comes to anal penetration. How it works is, it is held in place by 2 rings (One goes around the testicles and the other goes around the shaft of the penis). The dildo actually sits comfortably between the shaft of the penis and the testicles. It will move with your body when you thrust, giving the exact same motion of when you insert your penis. There are a vast amount of different positions you can use this toy with including the usual missionary, cowgirl and doggy. To really add pleasure to the experience, have a clitoral stimulator working the clitoris at the same time.

Suction cup dildo’s have always been an amazing addition to any single or couples toy collection. Reason being is that they are the closest toy that can simulate the real thing, especially when you’re using it on walls for doggy or on chairs for cow girl. How can you include it for your MMF experience? By using it on the glass you can either give the dildo oral whilst your partner pounds from behind, you can use the dildo anally whilst your partner is holding you up thrusting from the front vaginally. Switching up the different variants are very fun when it comes to involving both the dildo and your partner.

GANG BANG

These 2 options are fantastic if your partner does not want to include another Male. However, they can also be used if you’ve wanted to experience a multi-person gang bang also. Make sure to always look for ways to increase your pleasure. Have fun!

AJ is a consultant at the Oh Zone Adult Stores

Technical Intimacy

tech pleasures

We have possibly never been more cut off from the rest of the world than we are now and many of are toying with technical intimacy. This is a bold statement that I make, of course we have! Before we had ships and planes. Because now- we have technology.

Technology gives us the power of moving countries, time and space in a matter of moments. It gives us the power of being able to continue to interact with loved ones whether it is from our own homes to theirs in the same state, or overseas. And during this pandemic that counts for A LOT.

But do you know what else technology has radicalised for us during this “unprecedented” time? Insanely safe, zero proximity sex.

Yes. I did say that. And yes, that baffles the mind. But while we have been on lock down, the business behind industries such as interactive pornography, camgirls, onlyfans and online adult toy shopping have boomed! In fact there has been a rise, and why wouldn’t there be? Even beloved places of teaching “Studio Kink”  took to the internet to assist with keeping kinksters educated during the pandemic in their chosen tutelage of Shibari.

Technical Intimacy

Although interactive sex is only the beginning. Combine cam girling or interactive porn with products such as Kiroo and the experience is taken to the next level. If you haven’t heard of Kiroo, basically you can feel everything that is happening on one end of the toy (for example the Pearl – an innovative straight vibe) and indulge in it in real time on the other toy (in this case, the Onyx – an innovative masturbator)

Toys like these are fantastic for long distance relationships, bringing couples closer and being able to feel like they are having wonderfully hot and intimate moments as close together as they are apart no matter where they are in the world.

We Vibe is another company that boasts a long luxurious line of app controlled toys that are able to be controlled from around the globe no matter where you are provided you have a signal. Bringing you closer to your loved ones, which I am sure we can all agree is something we are more than thankful for during isolation.

Lovense

But then a new challenger arrived, Lovense.

Lovense, similarly had a luxurious line of gorgeous toys that were app controlled same as we vibe. They also had toys that simulated the feel of sex in real time even when you were apart like the Kiroo.

But where the Lovense differed to all those before it is it’s app features.

Lovense, at the time of writing this is one of the only apps that provides the option for people to use a “group play” function during play. Yep – a group function. This enables users of the lovense app to have up to 100 people in a “room” at a time, sharing vibrations and altogether having a good time.

Yes, that’s amazing.

I have heard many people come in and say, “oh wow, yeah an app controlled toy sounds great if you had someone who you could share it with.”

I get it, we are in a period of life where it is harder to find people right now, we have restrictions, and even when the restrictions are lessened, are we always willing to risk bodily fluid exchanges with strangers? It’s a fine line. SO meeting someone new can put a bit of a damper on things.

Lovense has that covered too. On their website Lovense has chat rooms where you can talk to others and join parties under pseudonyms or your lovense account and join large parties or set up some one on one vibe time. But, yes, be careful of bots. They are usually the ones with the repetitive bad sentence structure and as always, never EVER give away personal information or financial information online. Safe cyber play friends.

These functions are so popular that Lovense has just finished hosting their 3rd successful International Digital Orgy! On May 22nd at Midnight Eastern Time for 24hrs registered participants who were 18years or older could log into their Lovense account and share in the vibes that were sent through any use of the hashtag #lovense and #lovenseorgy as well as 15 others that were announced on the day. Completely anonymous, no faces shown just waves of pleasure, tuning in when you could. I mean – a whole 24 hours? That would be a marathon.

This was a wonderful movement to not only bring people together safely during isolation but also a unique way to celebrate Maturbation in May. If you were lucky enough to participate in this year’s Lovense Orgy let us know how you liked it, if you’d like to try next year, stock up on Lovense toys before next year and get some practice in.  It could be the future of sex.

So if you’re looking for something a little new, looking for a little play, without the physical proximity, why not try one of our long distance toys and pop on an anonymous forum? Talk to our wonderful sales consultants and educators to find the best fit and type of play for you and have a look at Wevibe, Kiroo and Lovense. Safely of course. Maybe we should be adding Long distance toy hookups to our online profiles.

At your Service,

Tiffany

OhZone Sales Consultant, Educator and Online Playmate

Attending a Munch (Kinky social gathering in a Vanilla setting)

Your first munch – Attending A Munch

 

For those who have ever wondered or wanted to know more about the Sydney scene, but were a little nervous to start off, I get it. It can be a little daunting and overwhelming. You have flirted with the idea, seen the pictures, heard the stories, browsed the aisles and sections at OhZone or on Adultsmart and talked shop with our lovely sales assistants. You may even have an account on Fetlife.

 

So perhaps the next step is attending a Munch. Whether you go with a friend or go on your own is up to you. If you have never been before, click attending on Fetlife or Facebook and maybe shoot the organiser a quick message, introducing yourself and saying that this is your first munch.

 

So what is a munch?

 

A munch is a gathering of kinky people in a very open, very vanilla setting without the pressure of play, or BDSM. It usually takes place in bars, pubs or venues such as restaurants. People dress in everyday attire that they feel comfortable and can attend for the whole event, for a couple of hours, or for a small amount of time just to see what it’s like.

 

The organisers usually post rules for the events on the event pages but will adhere to the basics of; consent is key, any untoward behaviour will be asked to leave, this is a safe space, this is an open and diverse space where everyone is welcome.

 

Some Munches will be more specific, Gamer Munches (for kinksters who also enjoy tabletop games), Under 35 munches (for kinksters who are 35 years and under), Newbie Munches (for Kinkster who are generally new to the scene etc.)

 

Though it has been a while since I regularly used to attend. I still know of Munches to be a wondrous space for those starting out, and those who have been around the scene for a bit longer.

 

What to expect:

 

After letting the organiser know that you will be attending, they will probably let you know that you are most welcome and if you have any questions to let them know. They are wonderful and friendly humans, that’s why they have taken it upon themselves to organise these events. Many of them will also have the option that if you are new and have never been to a munch before and are nervous about coming in by yourself that you can message them and they will walk you in and make some introductions. This can be quite wonderful for those who are easily overwhelmed by the idea of going in alone but would really like to attend.

 

Most of the time, munches are located somewhere where there is a bar, so fix yourself a drink, whether it is made of liquid courage or sparkling water and take in your surroundings. There are bound to be many faces there. If you don’t feel like talking, you are within your rights to say, I’m not ready to talk yet. Or I’m just easing in. It will help to tell people that this is your first munch.

 

If you feel more comfortable sitting in one spot, do so. People will probably come up to you and ask if they can sit with you and say hi. Or you might try saying hi to a few new faces yourself. Ask people if they have been to munches before. You don’t need to talk about your kinks or preferences, you can talk about what you do for work, or if you do want, you can talk about how you or the people you are chatting with got into kink. If someone says, I’m not comfortable, respect that, if someone asks you something and you aren’t comfortable, say so. This is a safe space.

 

These are not hunting grounds. They are definitely not intended to be so. Occasionally some people may attend with the notion that that’s what they are, or that it will be easier to find a partner, a one night stand or a hookup. But these are not what these events are intended as. They are to make friends, to network, to find like minded people and to give you the ability to feel included and feel like you are accepted in all your wondrous preferences, shapes, forms. A place for you to feel like you belong, for you to feel that you can become who you are.

 

Judgment free.

 

Ask our Wonderful Sales Staff if they know of any munches in the nearby areas or in Sydney that you can explore.

 

At your Service,

 

Tiffany,

Oh Zone Sales Consultant, Educator, Friend of Munches.

Touch Starved

The pandemic has created a very strange time for many of us and has changed the way that we interact with people to great lengths. Not only that, but many of us now lead much more reserved life’s and are experiencing

Skin Hunger.

 

Yep, it’s a thing.

 

Skin hunger, or touch starvation comes from the deprivation of physical contact. With the pandemic and the regulations it’s any wonder that many of the world’s population is currently suffering through this.

 

So what is it?

 

Skin hunger is not just intimate touch. It’s any touch. Any physical touch. Shaking hands, a pat on the back, a hug, a kiss on the cheek. Hell, being squished in Sydney trains during peak hour. It all contributes. All of these contribute to the production of oxytocin which is the superfighting hormone Oxytocin which if you really want to simplify it, is the arch nemesis to Cortisol, which in large quantities is the stress hormone.

 

You’re probably thinking right about now, that your cortisol levels have probably increased this last year. You would probably be right. Not only that, but the lack of touch has also been shown to contribute to the rise in cortisol. In past studies in offices, research found that after shaking hands, staff felt happier or more at peace than those who routinely did not engage in shaking hands.

 

Many people interpret Skin hunger as wanting sex, but thi might not be the case, it might just be the need for physical contact. Any physical contact. As Humans we are hardwired to seek touch. In fact our bodies, our senses are primarily made up of “touch” with our skin being our largest organ, making up a large portion of our senses.

 

So yes, while we are stuck at home, or not able to go around touching as many people as we did before, how do we combat our need for physical touch and closeness? I get it, it’s hard, and nothing is going to beat the real thing. I understand. I am not suggesting that we say screw the system and go around touching. That would be ludicrous.

 

Instead, what I have is several self touch techniques that are here to help promote your oxytocin levels, that will stimulate your physical touch reserves and help with Touch Hunger. It is important to note that with these, it is very very very important to couple this with keeping in touch with friends and family, phone calls, texts, skype, video call to keep social. We need to feed our social beasties as well for this to work long term.

 

You would be surprised how often we neglect our own bodies and forget to enjoy ourselves and be mindful of the way that we touch, feel and stimulate our own senses.

 

Some simple ways to promote self touch:

 

Run a warm bath – Add bath salts or oil.

Wrap yourself in heavy blankets or pillows. The pressure of these will stimulate the receptors that will trigger the oxytocin as a by-product of the vagus nerve.

 

Massage Techniques for Self touch

Using a rubber ball, place the ball beneath the arch of your foot either sitting or standing. Applying pressure (how hard is up to you) roll the ball up and down your foot and breathe deeply, activating the vagus nerve.

 

Face One hand (B) palm up. Using the other hand (A), clasp around the forearm of your other arm (B)  and squeeze ever so gently. Now turn Arm B so that your palm faces the sky then the ground. Repeat for 5. You should feel a warm tightening sensation in your muscles. Try moving your Hand (A) further up or down your forearm of (B). Switch arms and repeat.

 

Placing one arm bent behind in a fist in the centre of your back, pull your elbow back to feel a stretch across your chest, shoulder and upper arm. Close your eyes and breathe. Using your other hand, rub up and down the bent arm, continue to rub, moving further and further along your shoulder and chest. Repeat this exercise on the other side.

 

Sitting down, take both your hands and start near your ears and temples, place your thumbs under the lobes of your ears and your fingers from the top of your ears along your temple. Move your hands back and forth across your scalp with varied pressure.

 

Use oils and creams to lubricate your skin as you run your fingers along your body in long slow movements. This will activate your nervous system and help your body to connect. Not feeling it? That’s perfectly normal, as weird as it may seem. Closing your eyes, taking away your sight (one of your other senses) will help you to connect with your body and stimulate that oxytocin that your body needs. Don’t believe me? Try it. Even if it is just a little, simply rubbing your hand feels different when you close your eyes.

 

Masturbate

Masturbating is a wonderful way to get closer to yourself, not to fill a hole, but rather to get in touch with yourself and your desires. Being mindful of masturbation can be very rewarding and fulfilling. Try a new position you have never tried before. Use a toy you haven’t thought to use. Use edging and denial, bring yourself close to climax and stop. Tease yourself and see how many times you can make it to the edge. Can you make it to ten? Try warming or cooling lubricant or arousal oils. And who said libido enhancers have to be used only with company?

 

BDSM – Solo

BDSM doesn’t need to be something that is sacrificed during a pandemic. It just means that we need to get creative. We have touched on denying yourself orgasms. Wear a cock cage, enjoy that feeling of chastity, your hands exploring your body over the device. This feeling will also increase your oxytocin levels which will help your feeling of Touch Starvation.

 

Have you tried wax play? Now might be the time. It’s a wonderful sensation play perfect for solo adventurers. Start with massage candles and their low low burning temperatures before moving onto the sweet thick trails of the warm then hot wax.

 

Nipple clamps, clamps, cupping and suction have always had the ability to be lovingly used solo and leave loving little marks

 

Vampire mits and paddles can also administer perfect little kisses for your attention.

 

Impact play can be self-inflicted at varying degrees as well for the solo masochist. It is not the same, I am aware, it is not supposed to be the same, and we are not condoning nor suggesting this as an exercise as self harm, but merely as another form of self touch. Think of it as a slightly more extreme massage such as a gentle whack with a paddle to the thigh.

 

Bondage is a little harder solo. Cuffing yourself can be a little dangerous so we do not condone it safely. Rope play can be stimulating for the sense however, tying hip harnesses or futomomos provided that you have safety shears close at hand. These ties will give you the pressure as well as the delight and sensory feel that may appease in symptoms of Touch Starvation. There are some wonderful online tutorials for simple self-ties to try like through Rory’s Brainworks or Studio Kink’s online courses.

 

Craving touch and closeness is not something new, nor is it something that we should be ashamed of. It is indeed a very human trait. That want for sex you may be craving may in fact be personal closeness and it is important to recognise this during this strange time where it may be harder to go out and meet new people.

Visit our Stores in Ohzone Caringbah, Ohzone Penrith and Adultsmart Kogarah for other tips and toys to add to your self pleasure routine to better know your body and kickstart your system’s touch reserves.

 

As always, At your Service,

Tiffany

Oh Zone Sales Consultant, Educator and Touch aware.