A Beginner’s Guide to Bondage

These days, sex is not just about procreation. It’s an opportunity for men and women of all generations to explore their bodies and find alternative ways to express their sexuality. One of the most popular alternative lifestyles is, without doubt, the BDSM. BDSM stands for bondage, discipline (domination), sadism, and masochism. Today, however, we’re going to talk about one of the most popular subgenres of BDSM – bondage. There are many people out there who are trying to make their sex life more interesting and fun by engaging in bondage play. So, if you plan on doing the same with your lover or someone from the bondage dating scene, here’s a useful beginner’s guide you should read.

Talk to Your Partner First

When you plan on spicing up your sex life, it’s paramount that you have a serious and honest conversation with your partner first. There is a chance your lover won’t be on board with this new idea and you might have to convince them. Also, if both of you are beginners when it comes to bondage play, you’ll have to discuss your BDSM fantasies and desires.

Negotiate with them and Set the Rules

A lot of couples have certain disagreements when it comes to their bondage fantasies. Therefore, if something similar happens to you, it’s quite important that you find a way to negotiate with your lover. Sure, they will probably be against certain acts, but you also have the right to dislike some of their ideas. This is why negotiating the terms is so important. After deciding which acts you’ll enjoy together, you’ll have to set some rules. Who will be dominant and who will be submissive? Will this change during sex? Which toys are allowed? Make sure to have the answer to every single one of these questions.

Determine the Safe Word Together

Determining the safe word is one of the most important things you have to do before engaging in bondage play. As you know, bondage sex can be very rough, especially for newbies, and the safe word is your way out. It doesn’t matter how horny you are, if your partner says the safe word, you must stop what you’re doing, no questions asked. The same goes for your partner when they’re in a dominant position. You have to keep in mind that safety is your number one priority. Therefore, determine the safe word together and make sure you respect the rules.

Try Cuffs First

Since we covered all the rules and safety issues, it’s time for the fun part of bondage play. If you’ve never tied up someone before or been tied up yourself, you should try handcuffs first. Ropes and other similar types of restrains can be uncomfortable for beginners, so it’s best that you use specialized cuffs. Feel free to cuff your partner’s hands to bedposts and enjoy the acts you’ve agreed upon. Using cuffs is not painful and it doesn’t leave any marks on a person’s wrists. This is why most bondage newbies choose them over ropes and other restraints.

Use Soft and Gentle Ropes

If, however, you want to see what it’s like to tie your partner with ropes, we suggest you use soft and gentle ones. Using rough ropes will make your lover uncomfortable and it might even leave wounds, bruises, and marks on their hands and other body parts. If this happens, your partner will be distracted and your bondage play will be ruined. So, if you want to have a beautiful BDSM experience, you should choose soft ropes.

Don’t Spend Too Much Money on Toys

This is one of the most common mistakes beginner couples make. They believe that bondage sex can’t be good without certain aids and sex toys. This, of course, is not true. In fact, all you need for good bondage sex are ropes, cuffs, and other restraints. You can use your own hands to spank, tickle, and satisfy your lover. Also, if you want to play with temperature, you can use ice or hot wax on their skin. Some toys are useful and fun, but make sure you don’t spend a fortune on them.

You Have the Right to Change Your Mind During Sex

Most men and women who enjoy bondage sex think that they have to go through with it, even when they’re feeling uncomfortable. They believe that once they start, they have to finish it, regardless of their mood, pain, or discomfort. This is wrong and you should never ignore your own feelings for the sake of sex. You must know that you have the right to change your mind during sex. If you start feeling uncomfortable or if you’re not in the mood to continue, you can always say the safe word and end the intercourse. Your lover has to respect your decision.

2 Replies to “A Beginner’s Guide to Bondage”

  1. Thank you for sharing Beginner’s Guide . I am looking for it, it will help me so much , Thank you for sharing such kind of article.

  2. Hey dear colleague,

    I like the article. Simple and sweet guide, all the key points are explained.

    We also created 2 bondage guides, one being more general while other one goes in-depth about bondage ropes. It is actually a buyers guide covering everything from rope materials to explaining how to end a rope.

    You can find it at spices of lust

    If you have time to check it out, I would love some feedback on it.

    Luka/ Spices Of Lust

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