I Turned Myself Into A Butt Naked Adult Baby

Grown up man whos an adult baby

Let me paint you a lovely little picture. A ginger man, in his mid 20’s. It’s a photograph posted on an Instagram page. He is completely naked. The image is cropped somewhere between the shaft and the pubic bone. No graphic nudity is displayed. Those pesky nipples are on display but they are male nipples so they are a-ok.

Is It Art… Or Is It Porn?

Nestled neatly in the crook of his arm, is a smaller version of himself. Still nude. Curled up like a baby. Suckling at his own breast, you can see his pert buttocks.

I created this composite photograph as a bit of a giggle to post on Mother’s Day one year. It was well received on social media, it was shared multiple times and was one of my most commented/liked images I had ever posted.

Adult baby
Image: JJ Maher

“You have been banned for 48 hours and your profile is under review. If at the end of the 48 hour period your profile still contains images that are not fitting with the guidelines of [social media website redacted] your account will be terminated. There will be no correspondence entered into.”

“How rude” I thought to myself. I worked damn hard on that image. I thought it was a bit of a joke. It didn’t contain anything the breached the guidelines of the website. It was on the edge but I made sure not to go over.

Alas, this particular image was simply too obscene. In the years of posting nearly naked women and men I had luckily never tripped into the domain of having images reported or taken down. I had finally found the line in the sand.

It cost me exactly $250.00 to find out that the law in Australia is barely comprehensible when it comes to the creation of pornographic material. I consulted with a lawyer only to be told we don’t really know.

It turns out, you need to submit every image/video/publication to the Australian Classifications board at your own expense. Wherupon it would be reviewed and rated. Australia does not have an X rating. An R18+ rating will greatly hinder your ability to legally display/advertise your work anywhere online.

Hence I have never sold, marketed, distributed any of my artistic works beyond private, 1 on 1 client basis where the individual in the photographs is the one purchasing them.

I have been creating art for a decade and I have never sold a single piece.

… well not in the traditional sense.

So does that mean what I do must be pornography?

I don’t depict graphic sexual acts, I rarely if ever see genitalia in my work, and even then it is never represented in a graphically detailed depiction. I have always used shadows and angles to protect my subject’s decency and yet I am gun shy to begin selling my work on a larger scale.

Why?

You see, the media particularly loves to tear photographers to pieces. Is there a new scam, a new scandal? Sure all the time, is the person a lecherous, filthy and perverted person who owns a camera? Yes?

Then they will be portrayed as a leading industry professional and as a representative of the field as a whole. Maybe I am just biased to noticing these articles in the media because I am in this industry but I have always had the “avoid the witch hunt” mentality.

So is it porn?

If you search the term “porn” on google. You will see definitely examples of porn. I myself was quite shocked when I found out last week that there was hardcore depictions of sexual acts freely available on the internet. It was definitely much further past the line than my own work but does that move the line or simply mean that there are extreme versions of everything freely available and adults can choose themselves where they draw the line?

I myself simply drew the line at penetration. If nothing goes into anything else, then it simply must not be porn.

(This was the best legal advice I could get.)

Ok, so is it Art?

I used the example image I discussed at the start because of a few key features. It is a work of digital composition utilising a high end DSLR camera, expensive studio lighting equipment and expensive editing software.

I used years of experience operating all of this equipment, along with knowledge of artistic styles – borrowing from Rembrandt for the light positioning to create an unusual image.

So, there was an artistic vision and an artistic execution, the piece was intended to invoke a response from its audience.

I had followed the rules in creating a work of art.

I had followed the rules and guidelines set by the medium I wished to distribute this work of art, freely to the common man.

I was judged harshly by the heavy hammer of justice.

So… Is it art, or is it porn?

I guess it’s both. Personally, I don’t think it’s either.

Author: JJ Maher is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Essential Tips To Master Perfect BDSM Photography

Dominatrix With A Crop

“I don’t look anything like the girls on your website.”

This is about the most common thing I would hear when I would speak to a new client.

“Well, let me let you in on a little secret. The girls on my website don’t look anything like the girls on my website either.”

This may or may not be entirely truthful but it puts people at ease.

Everyone has heard of Photoshop and everyone wants it to varying degrees so I let them know we apply it liberally when required. However I will use every part of my skill set to avoid it. If I get it right in camera with good lighting and positioning we can minimise the need or eliminate it entirely… Yes, I am that good.

Naked Strangers And What Actually Happens On A Photoshoot

I have no idea what this person looks like over the phone. I have no idea how comfortable or relaxed they will be during the shoot. I have no idea if the outfits they bring will be flattering to their figure. I have discovered that confidence is far more important than any other part of the skill set and gives you a massive head start. I have to be confident. More importantly, my client has to feel confident.

These days, most of my clients have heard of me through a friend or seen my work so they are confident in my abilities and it’s only themselves they are worried about but it still pays dividends to let them know they aren’t alone. I photograph every shape and size and nothing is going to be weird or gross or whatever they are hung up on.

So we discuss everything over the phone and set out a rough idea of how the shoot will get. We set expectations for quality, cost and other incidentals. Most people at this point want to, but don’t think they will be taking their clothes off due to nerves but we find out if it’s on the cards or not. It’s usually 50/50 and it all comes down to the individual. Most of my clients are either simply excited or ready to fill the porcelain throne with bricks. Very rarely do I get people who are blase.

Sexy woman with a ball gag
Image: Woman With A Ball Gag In Her Mouth

They come into the entry of my studio, it’s also my office admin space as well as a viewing gallery so there is a couch, a TV, some desks and computers. Nothing elaborate. Nothing fancy. A small makeup area and a studio in the back that is fully blocked out to natural light. Nothing overly fancy or elaborate. The studio just looks like a clean artist’s workshop. I get a lot of comments like:

“It doesn’t look like some seedy dungeon!”

or

“It just feels like home.”

This vibe is definitely on purpose. I have worked in more intimidating spaces and it puts people on guard. A lot of my clients are NOT from the kink world. They simply want to pretend for a few hours and have something special to look back on or give the photos to their partner. If the place looks too luxurious then people don’t relax. If the space is too niche with a heavy kink/fetish dungeon vibe it gives people the wrong idea of what goes on behind the curtain. So I have worked hard to establish a safe space where adults play dress-ups rather than an over the top fancy glamour studio or porn production venue.

For the most part, the shoot goes simply.

I very rarely get people who don’t understand the boundary that is the camera. My subjects are sexy for the camera. Not for me. The only time people sexualise what I do is at parties with drunk men slurring

“Do you get to see titties?”

I will always do a warm up set with some simple portrait work and learn my subjects face and body lines. I will figure out what positions will and won’t work here as you don’t want to be working this out with lingerie or nude work. My subject will also learn how I work. No, they are not expected to model for me. Yes, it’s quite easy for the most part. The only difficult thing is holding some of the poses as they can feel very un-natural.

I don’t focus on expressions and specifics. My approach is to cover a lot of ground. Get a lot of variety and let random chance factor in. People don’t usually like the photographs/expressions I like so I find it’s best to get through the work rather than focus in on one particular thing. Besides, if you say to someone their expression – smile/pout/bedroom eyes isn’t working they will become very self-conscious of it. At that point I might as well put the camera in the bin.

If a session is going swimmingly and I can tell my subject is feeling confident it I use 5 simple words.

“How brave are you feeling?”

If someone isn’t feeling comfortable it’s sooo much easier to affirm that they are at their limit here and no one feels uncomfortable at all… Usually… like 99% of the time they are feeling the best they have ever felt about themselves and off come the clothes.

Woman in Japanese Rope Bondage
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A Quick Side Anecdote

There was a period of about 3 months where I was shooting art/erotic nudes exclusively. Sometimes up to 8 sessions a day. I noticed as I was burning out that people were responding differently and seeming very deflated. After some introspection I realised I was too detached.

I was not being friendly at all. I was reacting to this person taking their clothes off like a bitter ex-lover filled with vitriol and resentment. I had to make a real effort to not treat it like mopping vomit off the floor and get back to enjoying the process.

The best way to handle the situation is to act like an asexual pixie. Be really excited about everything but sexualise nothing. This will temper people and make sure things never become inappropriate. It’s hard to hit on the professional BDSM, fetish and kink photographer when he is a naive puppy and it’s hard for the naive puppy to offend anyone. It also solidifies the notion that they are being sexy for the camera, not for me. The demeanour has been effective for all clients, from stay at home mums to escorts and exotic dancers.

I have seen it all these days. I have had clients who have had full body lifts after massive weight loss and are completely covered in scars, amputees, people in their 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and even 80’s. I have shot multiple women who have had full double mastectomies, people who have every inch of their body tattooed/pierced, I even had one lady who had a severe physical disability that caused her bone structure and muscles to never properly develop. She was wheelchair bound and I had to literally lift her from the chair and move her into the poses.

There are definitely times where I know I could do better with a second go but I have a 99% success rate with everyone leaving feeling amazing. They might only have 1 or 2 photo’s they love or they might have 50. There are times where you do get it wrong but usually another session a few weeks later fixes that right up.

It doesn’t matter what you’re shooting. I could have a client who is timid to the point of only perhaps showing an inch of cleavage, someone who wants to just do very dark, moody art nudes right up to people who bring their own BDSM kits, doms, submissives, lovers and all sorts. It’s usually very much the same process. We talk, we meet and we shoot. I talk about my puppy mostly during sessions at the moment. Sometimes she is with me at the studio and people want to play with her more than they want to do the photo shoot!

Sexy woman wearing bondage tape
Image: Woman Wearing Bondage Tape

The One Thing That Never Changes

People are impossible to read up front. At the start, everyone is roughly the same. Their mask is on and their guard it up. Give me 30 minutes and a camera and they relax and open up entirely. I am always surprised and usually wrong about who will want what.

The single mum of 3 in her 40’s with one small bag will want to be tied up or do very sexualised erotic art nudes for her dating profile but she won’t mention that to me in the consultation phone call… The stripper with full body tattoos, she will just want some headshots for her personal training business… The guy in his 50’s with terrible hair and teeth? He is adamant the photos are for his partner I will never meet and she wants him to look like a sexy Twilight inspired vampire… The 20 year old uni who is wearing a trench coat and a beanie and looks like she hasn’t slept for a week. After hair and makeup she looks like a BDSM goddess who only brought nipple clamps and a riding crop as her “outfit.”… And the quiet ones? Well you know what they say about the quiet ones.

I have been asked a lot of times if I date clients. Those drunk dudes at parties might not put that quite too politely. A lot of people expect that I live fast and loose. They expect that I lead a very sexually adventurous, party lifestyle due to the nature of my work but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

I have dated a client exactly once many years ago when I was still working freelance in other studios. She pursued me aggressively after the session and with the studio owner’s knowledge and permission we started dating. Early in the relationship her life situation changed and so she moved to a different state to be with her family.

It has been a hard no ever since and it’s never even been something I would consider. Quite a few of them have become good friends, joining my Dungeons and Dragons group, gaming online or playing board games together regularly.

Author: Jason is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Welcome Our Newest Expert To The Team JJ Maher

JJ Maher Photographer

Hi! I am JJ and I struggle to take myself seriously!

JJ Maher At Adult Smart
JJ Maher Bio

Sometime in the yesterday years of 2008, I began working as a professional photographer. I’ve shot anything and everything you can imagine. Bread and butter wedding and family photography. Everything along the spectrum from kids to high end shiny glamour. Even working in fashion/editorial photography. I’ve Tried my hand at products and catalogs. I’ve often dabbled in cars and bikes. I have shot countless runways, bands, events and even the odd funeral here and there.

Early along the path, I diverged, careened, rocketed, tripped and stumbled headfirst into the erotic arts.

Nothing else felt as comfortable or as rewarding. Is it Kink? Is it Fetish? Is it Alternative? Is it BDSM? Does it involved a bucket full of glitter and lube? Are people taking their clothes off and celebrating their body? Is it weird? Could this make someone close-minded uncomfortable?

This was my reason to be for the better part of a decade.

Did I work only with models? Some of the best, but not exclusively.

Did I work with single mothers, gay couples, people in their 50s? 60s? 70s? People with physical disabilities? Exhibitionists? Introverts? Societies outcasts? Heavily tattooed? Modified? Pierced? People who have travelled the world? The rich? The powerful? The poor? The meek? People disfigured by accidents or surgery?

Yes to all of it and more.

I never wanted to limit myself.  I had discovered a beautiful world filled with enriching, sex positive (or working on it) people. I have had endless opportunities to help people be at peace with their imperfections or even come to celebrate them. I have had the privilege of getting to help women and sometimes even men “feel the sexiest they have ever felt or the sexiest they have felt in years.”

Or in other words, I have been one of the luckiest guys I know!

My first love was music. I play a bunch of instruments badly. Some even more badly then others. I have always been drawn to the “characters” in the music industry. Personalities that were so large they could not avoid the spotlight of fame or infamy. Sometimes to tragic ends. This truly inspired my photographic direction. As polished as my work became, I tried to maintain an element of the grunge, rockstar aesthetic that was my origin.

When I started out, I wanted to take photos that looked like a guitar solo sounds. I have always enjoyed helping people who would normally avoid the spotlight feel like the most important person in the world for a couple of hours.

Through photography, I have gotten to meet some of my absolute idols in the music and art worlds. Specifically I am now lucky to call my all time favourite illustrator and artist a true life friend. It is surreal, knowing, associating and working with people you have admired for more than a decade. People who inspired your work from the beginning to later be sitting across from you at conventions sharing silly musings via facebook/snapchat to pass the quiet moments. I have never been one to be star struck but I still get the odd butterfly in the stomach when their user names pop up when we game online together.

As a straight, cis-gender, white male aged 18 to 35. I didn’t think I had anything of value to really offer in terms of sexual insight so when I was asked to start contributing to a sex blog, I wrote what I knew. I hoped and hope to share lots of sometimes interesting, sometimes funny, sometimes downright awkward stories of what apparently has been an incredible and unique decade.

Along the way, in a valiant effort to impregnate some kind of value into these stories, I intend to sharply analyse what I got to see both on and off camera. I hope to dive headfirst into self reflection and see where I went right, wrong and how I have learned and grown. Maybe, if I bang my head against the keyboard long enough. Something inspirational or original might fall out.

Failing that, maybe I can just entertain.

Some Of My Favorite Quotes

 “I’ve always been attracted to the beauty in the “Abnormal.” The strange and the deformed, in its sometimes comical, sometimes horrendously chaotic lack of structure, it becomes something so much more perfect. Limitless and without comparison As I one day strive to be. Limitless. Without comparison.” – JJMAHER
“An artistic force to be reckoned with.” – Some guy, probably.

“Delusions of grandeur the likes of which have never been seen before or since.” – Picasso

JJ Maher

You can check out some of my works at the JJ Maher Website!

JJ Maher Adultsmart
JJ Maher Musician

A Mind Tearing Apart With Borderline Personality

Bipolar mood swings

So I have been writing about finding my feet working within the kink world and trying to put a comical spin on it. There was a much darker struggle going on in my personal life as my professional life developed.

Personal Relationships And Working In The Sex Industry

I was with my first partner for nearly 5 years. We were engaged and we had planned our life together. We had named the children we were going to have one day. She did the make-up and hair styling for my photo shoots. Within the first year of starting out just as a hobby we were both working professionally in our respective fields. It really looked as though we had our lives figured out. There was excellent money to be made covering weddings and we were well and truly on the track to working one day a week, 24 weeks a year.

I got my first professional job assisting a wedding photographer and shortly after that I was also working in a chain studio in shopping centres doing mostly family portraiture. My partner followed me to both jobs and was soon working alongside me and also doing very well for herself. My work sharpened up very quickly, I was headhunted to work for another very busy portrait and glamour studio in the city. I also started freelancing heavily in commercial and fashion photography. At the time, I was also working nights shooting privately for many of Sydney’s escorts and exotic dancers. Updating portfolios for websites and helping newcomers to the industry get a foot in the door. I WAS BUSY.

Exotic dancer on a pole
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I buried myself in work because I was hiding from the emotional wreckage that was the failed relationship that I know we both felt totally trapped in. See, my partner was an amazing girl. She was also totally crippled by the medication she was on for anxiety. It caused weight gain which made her depressed as she was severely self-conscious. This caused a vicious spiral of eating disorders, self-harm and self-medication.

I tried to help but I soon learned, you can drag someone down but you can’t drag them up. It’s almost too easy to make someone miserable but it’s really difficult to make someone happy permanently.

I faced daily accusations of infidelity. I was confronted with “evidence” consisting of social media messages, text messages and emails between friends and clients, all of which were innocently discussing kinky subject matter.

I was photographing fashion lines for a large importing company. I was paid $250 per campaign and could shoot anything from two to ten campaigns a day. I had been working for this company a few days a week casually while their head photographer was off sick. It was made known to me that he wasn’t coming back and the position was mine if I wanted it. I wished for years after that money solved problems because I turned them down.

My partner was no longer fit for work but was not eligible for disability whilst living with me. I remember the conversation like it happened 5 minutes ago.

Me:

“I’ve made it. We can move to the city and start our family.”

Her:

“I don’t want to have children with you anymore.”

I grew up poor, my Dad stopped working when I was 13 and I started working shortly after. I didn’t want my kids to go without. I wanted them to have everything. The deal was we waited to see if working as artists was going to pay off. If not one of us would work and the other would get an education. When the opportunity to work professionally as an artist came up, I was the most excited I had ever been. I wouldn’t be working for 6 different clients on a weekly basis. I could settle into a routine and provide for a family. We had problems and I know in retrospect that I was avoiding them but at the time I thought the money would fix everything.

So I turned them down, cut my workload to a bare minimum and decided I would properly try and help her through whatever she was dealing with. Over the years she had refused professional help at every turn. Hospital visits following self-harm were regular. It was like taking a scared dog to the vet. I hate talking about it that way but that is the best metaphor I could come up with to properly illustrate the process.

See, my partner was suffering from an undiagnosed mental illness and our situation couldn’t have been more toxic for her. If she had sought out professional mental health help sooner we could have handled our relationship so much better. I know we wouldn’t have stayed together. Our values had drifted apart. We were no longer on the same journey together but we both could have dealt with the fallout without the collateral damage.

We eventually got back on speaking terms again years later and she had been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Bi-Polar Disorder. She was still dealing with the same issues but was much more settled into life. She was still unable to work but hadn’t had a manic episode.

I won’t go into too much depth about these disorders now. However…

Symptoms Of Borderline Personality Disorder Are As Follows

  • Feeling empty
  • Low self-esteem
  • Paranoia or emotional detachment
  • Anxiety about relationships
  • Making efforts to avoid being abandoned
  • Impulsive and risky behaviour
  • Self-harm
  • Threatening or attempting suicide
  • Anger, moodiness and irritability

She literally was a textbook case. Professional diagnosis and help provided immediate improvement in her quality of life once she finally went out and got it. This is not always the case for mental health issues but so many people suffer in silence.

In our relationship, I would literally be her personal Jesus at breakfast and the bringer of the apocalypse at brunch. A high paid job designing a website for a pro Dominatrix must mean that I am cheating on her. Doing a shoot for a friend means there must be indiscretions. There were many times where we would work on a shoot together and then a few days later the accusations would start. I would be questioned on behaviours that TRULY HAD NOT OCCURRED. Things I had and had not said were examined for deeper meaning. She was caught in the crossfire of a mind tearing her apart and a life that couldn’t have been more triggering.

Symptoms Of Borderline Personality Disorder
Images: Borderline Personality Disorder

SO… Why Is All This Important?

I was going on a journey of sexual awakening alone in my professional career. I turned down massive opportunities regularly. I stayed because I felt guilty that it was all really an illusion. I wanted so badly for the picture of our lives that we had made together to become a reality. I was never unfaithful. I was working with burlesque performers, exotic dancers, pro doms and subs, escorts and more. I also learned that sex is really, really good.

And yet… I had NEVER given my first and only partner at the time an orgasm and felt guilty even asking her to participate.

The medication she had been on since she was child for depression had made her completely numb. It was just a fact of life that it was never going to happen. She was 5’8” with gorgeous long black hair, a Gothic look and… not that it’s important but a very full F cup bra. She was a makeup artist. She was ALWAYS outright stared at in public because she was breathtakingly stunning… and we weren’t having sex. Like ever.

I discovered with other partners later what a wonderful journey sexual exploration is for two people who are truly willing. This was some time ago, the leaps and bounds I have seen for help that is available for people in these situations is amazing. NO MATTER how perfect things look on the outside. If something is broken. FIX IT. SEEK HELP.

Here is the thing, I should have left her. YEARS prior but I stayed out of obligation. I should have looked for help for my own mental health and wellbeing. My own happiness had not been important for years. I had only superficially enjoyed what was an amazing rollercoaster ride of a new and exciting career.

“I don’t connect with my life partner on any level”

It was a real problem that I ignored because I didn’t know any better either.

I​ ​Accidentally​ Walked​ In​ On​ A​ Porn​ Set

Fetish models in black

Fruit​ ​salad

or​ ​rather

 how​ ​I​ ​accidentally​ ​walked​ ​in​ ​on​ ​a​ ​porn​ ​set.

I​ ​had​ ​been​ ​shooting​ ​for​ ​about​ ​a​ ​year, I​ ​was​ ​very​ ​close​ ​to​ ​hitting​ ​a​ ​few​ ​huge​ ​milestones and​ ​start​ ​getting​ ​paid​ ​work​ ​as​ ​a​ ​fashion​ ​and​ ​commercial​ ​photographer.​ ​Before​ ​any money​ ​had​ ​ever​ ​changed​ ​hands,​ ​I​ ​was​ ​invited​ ​by​ ​a​ ​photographer​ ​I​ ​knew​ ​to​ ​come​ ​and take​ ​part​ ​in​ ​a​ ​group​ ​photo​ ​shoot​ ​event.​ ​There​ ​would​ ​be​ ​about​ ​12​ ​photographers​ ​and​ ​as many​ ​models​ ​including​ ​food​ ​and​ ​drink.​ ​There​ ​was​ ​normally​ ​a​ ​participation​ ​fee​ ​but​ ​I​ ​had been​ ​requested​ ​by​ ​one​ ​of​ ​the​ ​models​ ​to​ ​be​ ​in​ ​attendance.

At​ ​this​ ​point,​ ​I​ ​was​ ​just​ ​a​ ​nice​ ​kid​ ​with​ ​a​ ​camera​ ​and​ ​had​ ​no​ ​idea​ ​what​ ​to​ ​do​ ​with​ ​it.

It​ ​was​ ​about​ ​a 2.5​ ​hours​ ​drive​ ​north​ ​to​ ​a​ ​lovely​ ​beach​ ​house​ ​that​ ​looked​ ​like​ ​a​ ​weekend escape​ ​destination.​ ​Beautifully​ ​manicured​ ​frontage​ ​with​ ​a​ ​tropical​ ​vibe.​ ​There​ ​was​ ​a sign​ ​on​ ​the​ ​door​ ​suggesting​ ​photographers​ ​make​ ​their​ ​way​ ​around​ ​the​ ​back​ ​via​ ​the​ ​side gate.

I​ ​swear,​ ​the​ ​large​ ​pool​ ​was​ ​surrounded​ ​by​ ​about​ ​an​ ​acre​ ​of​ ​timber​ ​decking​ ​with​ ​a barbeque​ ​large​ ​enough​ ​to​ ​cook​ ​for​ ​an​ ​army.​ ​I​ ​was​ ​quickly​ ​met​ ​by​ ​the​ ​model​ ​I​ ​had worked​ ​with​ ​once​ ​before​ ​and​ ​she​ ​introduced​ ​me​ ​to​ ​one​ ​or​ ​two​ ​of​ ​the​ ​other​ ​models​ ​and photographers​ ​there​ ​that​ ​she​ ​knew.

One​ ​of​ ​the​ ​models​ ​was​ ​cutting​ ​up​ ​lots​ ​of​ ​fruit​ ​off​ ​to​ ​one​ ​side.​ ​I​ ​was​ ​approached​ ​by another​ ​model​ ​I​ ​hadn’t​ ​yet​ ​met​ ​to​ ​photograph​ ​her​ ​in​ ​the​ ​pool. We went​ ​through​ ​a​ ​few​ ​simple​ ​poses,​​ ​through​ ​the​ ​session​ ​her​ ​bikini​ ​top​ ​came loose​ ​and​ ​fell​ ​to​ ​one​ ​side.​ ​I​ ​awkwardly​ ​pointed​ ​out​ ​that​ ​she​ ​was​ ​exposed​ ​ and she​ ​laughed​ ​at​ ​me.​ ​She​ ​knew,​ ​IT​ ​WAS​ ​ON​ ​PURPOSE!

I​ ​can​ ​laugh​ ​at​ ​his​ ​happening​ ​now,​ ​I​ ​am​ ​now​ ​a​ ​very​ ​open​ ​minded​ ​and​ ​very​ ​difficult​ ​to shock​ ​kind​ ​of​ ​person​ ​but​ ​it​ ​begs​ ​the​ ​question​ ​that​ ​no​ ​caution​ ​was​ ​taken​ ​here​ ​to​ ​ensure that​ ​I​ ​was​ ​ok​ ​with​ ​this.​ ​If​ ​the​ ​roles​ ​were​ ​reversed​ ​it​ ​could​ ​be​ ​perceived​ ​as​ ​very unsettling.​ ​With​ ​all​ ​the​ ​latest​ ​allegations​ ​rocking​ ​the​ ​Hollywood​ ​Press,​ ​it​ ​is​ ​actually comforting​ ​to​ ​be​ ​able​ ​to​ ​see​ ​and​ ​experience​ ​tangible​ ​progress​ ​in​ ​these​ ​areas.

Anyway…

One​ ​of​ ​her​ ​friends​ ​arrived​ ​and​ ​she​ ​thanked​ ​me​ ​and​ ​skitted​ ​away.​ ​I​ ​sat​ ​down​ ​to​ ​chat​ ​to the​ ​photographer​ ​I​ ​knew​ ​who​ ​had​ ​also​ ​just​ ​arrived​ ​at​ ​the​ ​event.​ ​A​ ​very​ ​sheltered​ ​man with​ ​broken​ ​English.​ ​He​ ​wasn’t​ ​sure​ ​what​ ​he​ ​had​ ​walked​ ​into​ ​either.

The​ ​model​ ​I​ ​knew​ ​came​ ​back​ ​over​ ​and​ ​said​ ​one​ ​of​ ​the​ ​models​ ​wanted​ ​to​ ​do​ ​some​ ​shots with​ ​the​ ​Fetish​ ​props​ ​in​ ​one​ ​of​ ​the​ ​rooms!​ ​Very​ ​light​ ​bondage​ ​stuff.​ ​Some​ ​silk​ ​ties connected​ ​to​ ​a​ ​large​ ​rack.​ ​Nothing​ ​to​ ​extreme​ ​here.​ ​A​ ​few​ ​well​ ​placed​ ​lights​ ​made​ ​it quite​ ​dark​ ​and​ ​created​ ​a​ ​nice​ ​sensual​ ​mood​ ​coupled​ ​with​ ​lace​ ​corsetry​ ​and​ ​whatnot.​ ​I was​ ​comfortable​ ​here.​ ​I​ ​was​ ​in​ ​my​ ​element.​ ​A​ ​few​ ​other​ ​photographers​ ​jumped​ ​in​ ​to grab​ ​some​ ​shots​ ​as​ ​they​ ​really​ ​liked​ ​my​ ​lighting​ ​setup.​ ​This​ ​actually​ ​gave​ ​me​ ​a​ ​major buzz.​ ​They​ ​all​ ​had​ ​much​ ​better​ ​cameras​ ​than​ ​me​ ​and​ ​so​ ​it​ ​was​ ​one​ ​of​ ​the​ ​first​ ​times​ ​I felt​ ​like​ ​I​ ​might​ ​not​ ​be​ ​pretending.​ ​The​ ​photography​ ​industry​ ​is​ ​a​ ​very​ ​self-loathing​ ​place. Most​ ​peoples​ ​are​ ​assholes​ ​to​ ​each​ ​other.

As​ ​we​ ​were​ ​finishing​ ​up,​ ​someone​ ​let​ ​us​ ​know​ ​that​ ​lunch​ ​was​ ​ready.

Lunch​ ​was​ ​the​ ​fruit​ ​salad.

A​ ​fruit​ ​salad​ ​laid​ ​out​ ​on​ ​top​ ​of​ ​one​ ​of​ ​the​ ​models.​ ​Sans​ ​clothing.

Naked Model Wearing Fruit
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I​ ​didn’t​ ​have​ ​any​ ​lunch​ ​that​ ​day.

At​ ​this​ ​point​ ​I​ ​decided​ ​I​ ​was​ ​probably​ ​going​ ​to​ ​call​ ​it​ ​a​ ​day.​ ​I​ ​didn’t​ ​have​ ​any​ ​problems with​ ​nudity​ ​or​ ​working​ ​with​ ​and​ ​around​ ​it.​ ​I​ ​wasn’t​ ​extremely​ ​happy​ ​with​ ​how​ ​the​ ​event had​ ​been​ ​organised​ ​with​ ​only​ ​some​ ​of​ ​the​ ​models​ ​and​ ​photographers​ ​being​ ​aware​ ​that there​ ​would​ ​be​ ​more​ ​going​ ​on​ ​than​ ​just​ ​for​ ​the​ ​creation​ ​of​ ​art and portfolio​ ​building exercises.

My​ ​bag​ ​was​ ​back​ ​inside​ ​the​ ​house,​ ​I​ ​was​ ​giving​ ​the​ ​people​ ​I​ ​knew​ ​a​ ​lift​ ​to​ ​the​ ​station. We​ ​all​ ​agreed​ ​to​ ​leave​ ​and​ ​so​ ​we​ ​went​ ​in​ ​to​ ​grab​ ​my​ ​gear.​ ​As​ ​we​ ​went​ ​inside,​ ​we​ ​were greeted​ ​by​ ​a​ ​sight​ ​I​ ​will​ ​never​ ​forget.

This​ ​was​ ​around​ ​2009.​ ​Super​ ​high​ ​speed​ ​internet​ ​was​ ​still​ ​not​ ​entirely​ ​common.​ ​I​ ​had seen​ ​plenty​ ​of​ ​porn​ ​but​ ​it​ ​was​ ​not​ ​as​ ​much​ ​a​ ​part​ ​of​ ​the​ ​tapestry​ ​that​ ​makes​ ​up​ ​the internet​ ​as​ ​it​ ​is​ ​today.

Legs​ ​spread​ ​eagle,​ ​strapped​ ​in​ ​and​ ​or​ ​onto​ ​a​ ​shoddy,​ ​homemade​ ​bench​ ​was​ ​one​ ​of the​ ​models​ ​I​ ​hadn’t​ ​met.​ ​It​ ​was​ ​surrounded​ ​by​ ​about​ ​5​ ​photographers​ ​who happily documented​ ​the​ ​experience.​ ​The​ ​machine​ ​that​ ​was​ ​doing​ ​all​ ​the​ ​work​ ​was​ ​sluggish. Accompanied​ ​by​ ​a​ ​dull​ ​whirr​ ​and​ ​clunk.​ ​It​ ​was​ ​not​ ​pretty.​ ​It​ ​was​ ​not​ ​flattering.​ ​Again​ ​it was​ ​not​ ​announced​ ​or​ ​agreed​ ​upon​ ​for​ ​some​ ​of​ ​us.

I​ ​learned​ ​a​ ​host​ ​of​ valuable​ ​lessons​ ​on​ ​this​ ​day​ ​about​ ​communication​ ​and​ ​consent within the BDSM scene.​ ​The fact​ ​was,​ ​I​ ​hadn’t​ ​thought​ ​much​ ​about​ ​these​ ​things​ ​but​ ​if​ ​I​ ​could​ ​feel​ ​uneasy,​ ​as​ ​a​ ​male, with​ ​a​ ​camera​ ​in​ ​these​ ​situations​ ​then​ ​it​ ​should​ ​be​ ​at​ ​the​ ​forefront​ ​of​ ​everyone’s​ ​minds at​ ​all​ ​times.

I​ ​have​ ​never​ ​allowed​ ​control​ ​of​ ​a​ ​creative​ ​get​ ​together​ ​to​ ​be​ ​out​ ​of​ ​my​ ​hands​ ​again.​ ​Any work​ ​I​ ​have​ ​done​ ​since​ ​in​ ​the​ ​BDSM, Kink and Fetish​ ​categories​ ​have​ ​always​ ​been​ ​one​ ​on one in​ ​private​ ​sessions​ ​between​ ​myself​ ​and​ ​the​ ​model, couple, rigger and/or client.

​Something​ ​like​ ​this​ ​can​ ​so​ ​easily​ ​tarnish​ ​reputations​ ​or​ ​cause​ ​serious​ ​trouble​ ​for​ ​groups or​ ​individuals​ ​with​ ​poor​ ​organisation.​ ​I​ ​stopped​ ​going​ ​to​ ​these​ ​kinds​ ​events​ ​unless​ ​I knew​ ​the​ ​organisers​ ​personally​ ​and​ ​even​ ​then​ ​it​ ​was​ ​to​ ​only​ ​ever​ ​be​ ​introduced​ ​to someone​ ​who​ ​wanted​ ​to​ ​work​ ​with​ ​me.​ ​It​ ​was​ ​a​ ​very​ ​steep​ ​learning​ ​curve​ ​from​ ​this​ ​day forward​ ​to​ ​navigate​ ​becoming​ ​a​ ​successful​ ​photographer​ ​both​ ​in​ ​and​ ​out​ ​of​ ​the​ ​kink world.