Dr. Stacy is a clinical Sexologist and Certified Sex Coach who monthly answers questions posted by our adultsmart community blog readers. If you have a question relating to sex that you want answered or further information on please do not hesitate to post your question here! Please be aware that Dr. Stacy is extremely busy and will choose which questions to answer. As we now receive more than 1.4 million unique views from readers each year some questions may not be answered.
Stephan
I don’t last more than 2 minutes in bed. How can I last longer?
Premature or early ejaculation is when you are either letting it all out 1-2 minutes or less after the start of intercourse or that you ejaculate faster than you would like. What is normal? How long are you supposed to last? These are commons questions and concerns that many men have. Studies have shown that most men ejaculate 3-5 minutes after penetration. There are a couple of ways you can work at improving the ability to last longer. One is the squeeze technique by Masters & Johnson.
When you are erect, squeeze the tip of the penis where the skin joins with the tip of the penis (frenulum). Use your thumb to squeeze the frenulum against your index finger. The squeeze should last about 10-15 seconds but make sure not to squeeze too hard where it becomes painful. For this technique to work, you need to be able to feel that you are approaching the point of no return, the point beyond which you can’t control ejaculation. When you are about to reach that point, you or your partner can squeeze and then start again.
The next technique is the stop-start method. You can do this one alone if you want to practice without your partner but it is something that is also helpful to do with your partner once you can perfect it on your own. Once you become stimulated, before you hit the point of no return, stop what you are doing, rest for 30-60 seconds and then start stimulating again but don’t allow yourself to get to that point of inevitability. Repeat this cycle 5-6 times before allowing yourself to ejaculate. If you are by yourself, you can finish by masturbating or if with a partner you can have penetrative intercourse and allow yourself to finish. There are a few ways you can masturbate to practice on your own by going from using a dry hand (being gentle), then a wet hand with some sort of lotion or lube and then work your way to intercourse.
These are a couple ideas to help with early ejaculation but you can also look up Kegel exercises online which help strengthen the muscles in the pelvis to be able to control the urge to ejaculate easier. There may be more to your situation if you have a partner that is not helpful, rushing you to finish or is not open sexually so if these ideas don’t work and you need some coaching to look deeper into your situation as to what is going on, please contact me at www.DrStacy.org
Len
Are urethral sounds safe to use?
First thing to know…what exactly is a urethral sound? It is a device made to enter the urethra for medical purposes or for sexual play. They can be hard or soft and usually inserted halfway into the opening of the penis so they can be easily retrieved. Some items, such as catheters, can be put in deeper to penetrate the bladder so depending on what the person is looking for, there is something for both. There are two reasons someone may want to use a urethral sound. One is for physical benefits and one is for the physiological turn on. The urethra has sensitive nerve endings inside which can be stimulated when the sound is used and if you go deep enough with the sound in the penis you may have the ability to do a prostate massage.
Urethral sounding does come with risks. If using toys specifically for that purpose and used correctly it can be safe since they are designed specifically for the purpose of sexual play and to not hurt but if using something not made for sounding you risk infection, bleeding and pain. Get something high quality, use a sterile lube and go slow. If you don’t have patience you can cause damage so it is important that if you want to try urethral sounding that you take your time and get the right products.
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Oh, the thrill of unraveling the mysteries of the mind! Folks, it’s absolutely crucial to have question and answer sessions with a psychologist like our very own Dr. Stacy! And no, it’s not just those struggling with mental health issues who need this – everyone does!
Imagine this – you’re in a maze, lost and confused. Suddenly, someone hands you a map. That’s exactly what happens when you have a Q&A with a psychologist. They guide you through the labyrinth of your mind, helping you understand yourself better. Yes, it’s like having a personal guide to your own psyche!
Ask Dr. Stacy and see for yourself! She doesn’t just answer your queries – she helps you ask the right questions. The why’s, how’s, and what’s of your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings become much clearer. You get to know why you react a certain way or why certain things trigger you. It’s like embarking on the most thrilling journey ever – a journey into your own mind!
And who can forget the invaluable benefit of emotional wellness? Interacting with psychologists like Dr. Stacy provides an outlet for pent-up emotions. It’s like opening a pressure valve – releasing all that built-up steam makes you feel lighter and happier. Plus, it’s an opportunity to learn coping mechanisms and strategies for future challenges.
So, do yourself a favor and ask Dr. Stacy! Dive into the fascinating world of psychology and learn more about yourself than you ever knew before. There’s nothing quite like understanding your own mind to help achieve emotional freedom and wellness! You’ll be amazed at what you discover, I promise!