7 Of The Worst Places To Have Sex!

Everyone loves having sex and the old saying goes-

‘When sex is good its beautiful but when its bad its still pretty good’

applies in most cases. However you generally have the choice of whom and more importantly where you have intimate relations. So here are my top  worst places to have sex and the reasons why.

Navy Wooden Futon

1  Grandparents house:

After a certain age people homes smell and look like their owners. Although grandma’s an grandpa’s house is nice to visit and having a nice pot roast with the smell of food cooking is great. But when you are not in that cozy living room the bedroom smells of mothballs, ointment and stale air. The doilies on the bedside and old crotched blanket on the bed add to the geriatric mood making it one of the most unromantic places to have sex. Even if you manage to get the spare bed it probably hasn’t been changed in ten years and bed mites are not wanted participants in your amouress activities.

2  A futon:

A futon is a torture device made by the Japanese that they secretly released into Western Civilization market place as furniture. In Japan the scientists that developed it a secretly laughing at the naivety of us Westerners that we actually believed it and even more so that we are so gullible that we continue to buy them.  Sex on Futon is like have sex on a cement slab. It is just not meant to happen.

3  Sex in an alley:

After a big night out clubbing you have picked up a wild one and cannot wait to get home to consummate this one night relationship. Being a bit under the weather and adventurous you display some of your exhibitionism and consent to sex in the dark alley around from the club. Apart from the fact that there are rats and all other vermin partying in the garbage the possibility of being mugged and raped is a strong possibility that seems to add to the excitement of the event until it actually happens. This is just plain dangerous and stupid and has to be one of the worst places to have sex.

4  Public bathroom:

Your friend that you go clubbing with last week was raped and robbed whilst having sex in a dark alley so you think that will never happen to you. So you meet the love of your night and decide what safer and better way to have sex on the first night but in the bathroom. Wrong. Regardless of whether it is the ladies or the men’s bathrooms are filled with germs. People have been pissing on the seats, snorting coke on the cisterns and pooping in the bowls. Sure the ambience is great with all those numbers to ring on the walls and some fanciful poetry to read but it is just plain dirty.

5  The in-laws car:

You are sick and tired of the in-laws. They drive you crazy and they are away for the weekend. Ahh, what better way to exact revenge than borrow their car and have some kinky sex on the backseat. Ok, the revenge idea I get but surely there are better ways to exact revenge than ruining your marriage or making you testy in-law acceptance even more testy

6  Port-a-loo:

Port-a-loos’ are worst then toilets. Can you imagine anything that could be any worst then having sex where there is feaces everywhere. There is also the potential of accidentally getting to frisky, maybe a leg might fall into the toilet, you might splash your lips with poo or worst yet, you could both take a tumble and the port-a-loo entire contents get’s tipped over both of you whilst you both struggle to get out from a fallen enclosure.

7  Near a turned on TV:

Nothing can break a mode quicker than a bad news update about the latest thing’s that have tragically happened in the world today. You are amidst a very sexual moment and you hear a bunch of people yelling about how McDonalds prices have went up by $1.  If you have a mind that can ignore those type’s of moment then your all good, but most people struggle to participate in sex when there is something emotional happening in ear or eye sight.

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One Reply to “7 Of The Worst Places To Have Sex!”

  1. Pingback: The Worst Places To Have Sex. PART ONE | Sex L...

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