It is important to keep the relationship fires burning. Here are 20 sure fire ways to improve your relationship and make it sizzzle again.
We want more from our partners and our relationship and an important part of that is enjoying and exploring our sexuality.
20 Top Ways to Protect and Improve Your Relationship
1 Role Play – Pretend it’s Your First Date
Do you recall your first date with your partner? How everything they said or did was just right. The food tasted better, the stars were brighter and the electricity that generated when you touched and kissed was electric.
Take yourself back to that time and rediscover the sexiness that you both saw in each other.
2 Leave Your Partner Wanting More
Give your partner a tender kiss. Touch him or her in that spot you know always turns them on. Caress them and cuddle them.
Talk dirty to them and then walk away leaving them wanting more. Teasing them is going to increase theirs and your desire. It is amazing what lust and desire will do to increase libido.
3 Be Spontaneous
If you find yourself thinking about your partner in an erotic way let them know. If you are at work send them a text message or ring them.
Your lover will appreciate that you desire them and it will get them thinking about you too. Take it a step further and if you feel desire for your partner when you are together on a night out.
Do something about it. Use the linen closet, even the back seat of the car like when you were teenagers.
4 Use Technology
These days with Youtube, Skype, face time and a whole myriad of ways you can communicate with your partner, utilize them. When you are out of town use skype for a bit of nice cyber-sexing.
It will turn your partner on no end and stop them from sneaking on those porn sites late at night as you will satisfy their lust for voyeurism.
5 Watch a Movie
Try new things. Buy an instructional movie of sexual positions or Kama Sutra for different ways to carry out your foreplay and lovemaking.
Not only will the DVD turn you on before bedroom play but will give you new ideas of how to satisfy your partner and get more fulfilling sex.
6 Prioritize
Show your lover they mean everything to you. Create a quiet ‘us time’ when you switch off the phones and computer and it is just you and your partner. Talk about your day, your feelings, your desires.
Even half an hour a day will recharge those batteries and bring you closer together. It will stop the arguments because it is showing that you care and value each other.
7 Take Turns to Dominate
Taking turns in the bedroom and in bedroom play who is the dominant and who will be the submissive. When you are lovemaking you assume the top position. Taken some silken ties and tie your lovers hands to the bedpost.
Use a bit of hot candle wax on their body. But always let them know they are in a safe place.
8 Do Something Different
Once a week do something to or with your partner that you have never done before. Flash your lover from a public place, have phone sex with them, use a new sextoy.
Grab a different massage oil or use some erotic pheromones to enhance your lovemaking.
Little things like this will soon become a fun night and your partner or lover will anticipate these little things with joyful expectation.
9 Date Night
Even if you have rugrats that are screaming around your feet most of the time and you are tired, at least once a week have a date night.
Date night does not even necessarily mean leaving your home. Have a picnic after the kids have gone to bed in the living room, Cheese and crackers on the balcony.
Just something to re-connect and can be combined with ‘us time’ to really get things hot.
10 Tell Your Partner What You Want
More than 90% of couples in a relationship have not been honest with their partner in what they want sexually in a relationship.
It doesn’t matter how bizarre of kinky your fantasy is. Unless you share it with your partner they will never know and you will always feel you are missing something.
Some things your lover may not be comfortable doing. But if they know what your secret desires are they may come to some form of compromise where you both get what you want.
If you are in a loving relationship your partner will want to please you as you wish to please them and if you don’t share fulfillment will never be reached. It is important to keep a relationship alive and kicking.
11 Be Naughty and Talk Dirty
There is nothing more endearing and welcoming to a woman (or Mans) ears than to be told how sexually attractive we are.
When you see your partner dressing, compliment them on how great their bum looks, or how you love their legs. They are in front of the mirror, stand behind them and tell them what you like physically about their body.
This is a sure turn on and don’t be surprised if these little naughty compliments will lead to seduction.
12 Put on a Show
Everyone loves a show. Why not put on a special show for your lover. Do a naughty strip-tease. Even if you are a little shy or lack rhythm rest assured these little nuances or mistakes will make it even more provocative and sexual.
Knowing that you have not done this before to another is going to excite and titillate your partner. Maybe even throw in a bit of BDSM play. Ultimately it will make you both happy so why not give it a try.
13 Get a Naughty Toy
These days the stigma about sex toys is all but gone. Go to an adult store together or shop online for a toy that will enhance your lovemaking.
There are so many great pleasure devices that are designed for couples that can be worn and the sensations experienced by both whilst making love.
The world famous We-Vibe or other couples toys not put out by JoyNMore, Lelo and SWAN or even with some cock rings. Or take it one step further and buy a remote controlled toy for your partner to wear next time you go out for dinner.
BUT you hold the remote control.
Watch your lover squirm with delight over dinner when you decide that you will activate the vibrations on the toy. And no-one in the diner will know except the both of you.
14 Create the Mood
Next time you have a quiet night in grab some nice scented candles. Chill that bottle of Champagne, have the strawberries and massage oil ready. Slip into that sexy silken garment.
Give the room a spray with pheromone ambience to create a sensual mood. You might not get to the strawberries as your partner is sure to delight in such a sensual atmosphere but will surely remember the night.
15 Read some poetry or erotic fiction
Rather than sitting or laying down watching late night movies why not spend a few minutes together reading a chapter from an erotic book or some erotic poetry.
This will get you in a romantic mood and also give you ideas –may even result in role play. Classic choices are writings from Abu Amr Jamil or Khalil Gibram or erotic fiction like 50 Shades of Grey.
16 Give Him What He Wants
It’s not always about you. Why not treat him for a change to his ultimate dream date. Put on his favorite teams jersey and little shorts, put the tv on sports channel and watch the game live with him.
Have the icebox full of his favourite brew and serve it to him with some munchies. Let him watch the entire game without talking. Then afterwards relive some of the better moments of the game with him.
You will score so many brownie points that he will probably put the garbage out and clean up without you having to even ask.
17 Tease with a show
Let your lover know what you want to and are going to do to them. Ring them at work and tell them when they get home you are going to …. To them.
Or you are dressed in a see-through negligee and waiting on the bed for them to come home and take advantage of you. The only drawback may be they feint sickness to come home straight away as they will be so turned on.
18 This is a NO Rule
Agree that there are some things that you will not do or that have to be done. Things like – Agree never to make love in the same position more than twice in a week. We will not make love without foreplay. No bedroom fun unless flowers are given once a week.
19 Make Light of It
Have a dare, make a bet but always deliver. Play a game of cards and the loser will give a one hour sensual massage.
Go for a game of pool and the loser will have to orally please the other. This can be done for all sorts of games or events and can be lots of fun. It certainly will bring out the competitiveness in you both in a positive way.
20 Celebrate New Year with a Bang
Instead of going out to drunken parties with people slobbering all over you wishing you a New Year. Hire out an expensive suite at a 5 Star Hotel where the bedroom overlooks a view where fireworks will go off.
Have some champers and nice spa and then 15 minutes before midnight start have some great sex. Be careful to last it out and time your orgasms at the stroke of midnight when the fireworks start.
Can you think of a better way to start the New Year?
Roulla was a contributor on the adultsmart blog in 2014. She has since returned to her homeland in Greece where she has taken up a career in hairdressing. We wish her well.