Is it a thoughtful gesture or a golden ticket to his bed?
The age old question is:
“What does it mean when a guy buys you a drink in a bar?”
I have always wondered what the exact motive is other than the standard answer of “being a gentleman” because we all know most have a hidden agenda, there is however always an exception to the rule, but mostly just the rule.
Basically to put it bluntly any man who is offering to buy you a drink or actually is buying you a drink wants something. That something depends on the guy and the situation but by accepting that drink you are unofficially accepting the idea of entering into his request. Now that request could be a general conversation, or it could be that golden ticket to take you home. Nothing in life is free, and expectations are always bought up in one way or another.
From working in a bar, and being in that “bar lifestyle” I have been witness to many amusing events as to reactions and end results of guys buying girls drinks.
And let me tell you there is no age limit on this…
From the information I have researched and also from what I have asked my male friends the agenda seems to be indirectly the same. Maybe this is because unlike men, women read deeply into things, and over think situations and it’s not always, as it seems.
Most guys first response when you ask is usually just for conversation or to be a nice guy, but is that just what you want to hear or what they actually want?
Being a female myself I have been witness too and experienced myself the magnitude in which guys offer to buy drinks for girls. I have never entered into this maybe because of all that I have witnessed or maybe because I wasn’t interested in what they were offering, who knows. What I do know is that I have in fact bought guys drinks if they promise to leave me alone for the rest of the night… it works mostly…
So here we get down to the nitty gritty, if one drink means one conversation what does two drinks mean? And so on? When you allow a guy to buy you a drink the polite thing to do is to let them speak to you and have a general conversation while drinking said drink. If you are “one of those girls” you will take the drink off the bar as soon as it’s placed and disappear like a ninja with drink in hand! You then spend the rest of the night ducking from the poor lost soul who purchased that drink for you.
If a man buys you a second drink, you are basically telling him you enjoy his company enough to stick around for another in-depth chat but when does this turn in to a golden ticket to his bed? This debate is never ending and I guess it depends on the person and how much “liquid courage” has been consumed from both parties prior to this investment.
Because men and women are made different there is some obvious differences in thoughts as to what buying a drink means. One blogger by the name of Big_Knows_Best surveyed 20 guys in a local bar and documented their responses, the responses are beyond hilarious.
From the start of the night to the end there is a major shift in responses for added humour she has also added in her own commentary.
Here are a few just for your enjoyment:
“Conversation”
This was the most common answer at the beginning of the night. Cool, man. You’re a great guy or whatever. Boring. I’ll check back with you after a few more shots. Maybe he will use a pick-up line that will work!
“Sex”
Really? For just one drink? I guess this works on the girls whose drinks aren’t usually purchased for them. Best of luck in your safari for girls with low self-esteem, sir.
Now, we are getting somewhere.
“When you buy a shot, you’re trying to close the deal. If you buy a beer you’re just trying to extend the conversation”
A method. I like it
“One drink? Conversation. Two? Get a little personal. Three? I better be walking out the door with you”
Basic concept of investment and return. I see you. What about four?
“One drink, like 5 minutes of your time. Two drinks, front door. Three drinks, back door”
Well, that escalated quickly.
“For her to drink it”
*Eye roll* You’re useless.
“At least a dance floor make out and finger bang”
Oh yeah, at LEAST a public finger bang. I see how a $3 beverage warrants that.
“I’ll buy you a drink and show you!”
Clever, Casanova.
But seriously what does it mean! I have a few options for you:
- He thinks you can’t afford your own drink, so he wants to be nice! It’s an expensive world out there!
- He wants to show you he is a nice guy, and maybe strike up a conversation with you.
- He is letting you know he is interested!
- He thinks you’re stunning! And he is just showing you some appreciation.
- He is hoping you will go home with him to privately show off your sexy lingerie that’s underneath! Well hello mister sleazy!
Now apart from accepting the drink there is also another side to this!
What do you do when you don’t want the drink? Awkward!
This is a completely viable option; I found most guys don’t take “No thank you” as an option so I had to get a little creative. Buying that guy a drink instead and asking him to promise to leave you alone for the rest of the night usually works. Not because he took the bribe, but because you basically embarrassed him and his masculinity – you know these days you have just to keep them on their toes!
But no joke it’s easy! By saying no thank you, or something along the lines of “I have already had enough tonight, but thanks” or “I already have a drink, but thanks” work perfectly fine too.
On a safety note as a general rule you shouldn’t really accept drinks from strangers, basically from a young age we are taught to not take candy from a stranger… I feel the same rule applies!
Happy drinking!
Morgan x
Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres
Meet Morgan, a young designer advocating equality and speaking out against violence. Her journey in the adult industry has been transformative.