The New Year has officially already started (unless you celebrate the Lunar New Year of course – it’s almost our year again, fellow Roosters). But it’s not too late to make some sex resolutions for a better sex life. These are some suggestions to get you thinking. Perhaps they won’t all apply to your situation, and if that’s the case you can always make up some of your own instead!
In no particular order, here are ten of my top tips for making 2024 satisfying.
Satisfying 2024 Sex Resolutions
Get familiar with your own body
This has been among the top pieces of advice I have heard from every sex expert ever. From the day, as a young teen, that I bought my first ‘Girlfriend’ magazine. And I suspect it will always be go-to advice for the simple reason that it works.
Especially if you are a woman, self-exploration and self care masturbation has often been a dirty concept in our society. And until recently it really wasn’t something ‘respectable girls’ did at all or at least admitted to.
This is just my opinion. But it’s probably a big part of the reason many women profess not to particularly enjoy sex. OK, there are other reasons I can think of too. For example, partners who weren’t taught to think of women’s pleasure or know how to give it even if they did. Little choice in who their partner would be (especially relevant if either party was in fact not heterosexual, just saying…). A very expectation that it wouldn’t be too enjoyable setting you up to fail…
Finding Out How You Tick
But I can’t help but think that despite all that if women knew through their own exploration what the parts of their body were, looked like and felt like. And how good it *could* feel, they would have been compelled to do *something* differently. Even if it just meant continuing to masturbate in private.
I think that there have always been rebels who were lucky and curious enough to discover this for themselves. But I know that even today a great many women are still too shy or worried to really explore their own bodies.
Listen, it is not dirty.
I promise you (unless you want it to be). It is natural, it is smart, and it will quite likely improve your romantic relationships. Go downtown. And this advice doesn’t ONLY apply to women.
Hell, even if you are a dude who has been comfortably whacking off since you were twelve, I bet there’s still something left to learn about your body. Maybe you have never explored many of your erogenous zones other than the penis and testicles? T
ry taking some extra time exploring your whole body. Don’t just focus on having an orgasm, instead simply be in the moment and discover what else feels good outside of your tried-and-true methods
Experience the Big O
If you have never had an orgasm, in spite of being sexually active (either alone or with a partner), you may feel like you are the only one but I guarantee you are not alone. Many people don’t discover how to have an orgasm early on in their sexual exploration.
Some people go through their whole sexual lives without ever coming. But there are lots of ways to get you there, and providing you are not suffering from medical issues most are pretty simple but may take some time and patience. First, see resolution #1. Secondly, consider getting yourself some sex toys to help you along.
There is a wide selection of toys to choose from, so why not visit our online store and a browse?
Stay Safe and Use Protection
If you have been slacking off in the condom/dental dam department, now is the time to resolve to do better by yourself (and your partners).
Another form of protection that you may or may not have heard of is PrEP. It is a pill you take daily which is highly effective at preventing HIV. Have a chat with your doctor about how you can best protect yourself and keep a happy, healthy sex life.
Stay Safe and Get Tested
Whether you have been putting off that routine STD test or pap smear. Or if you have been experiencing symptoms out of the usual it is time to bite the bullet and visit a sexual health clinic or your friendly doctor.
If you are not super comfortable with your current doctor part of this resolution should be finding a new one that you do feel at ease with. You will thank yourself later, trust me.
Change it Up
Do something a little different, sexually. This could be anything from mild to wild. It could be as simple as trying a new sex position or as adventurous as visiting a (sex) dungeon.
It’s not about proving anything, or being the edgiest sexual adventurer, just keeping the possibilities fresh.
Be Yourself
Resolve to be as true to yourself as you can be. Now, I’m not saying that if you are gay and in the closet that you should come out to your homophobic parents or anything big like that if you are not safe to do so or not ready to do so. But someone who you should be able to trust with your secrets and your true desires is yourself.
Be kind to yourself and honour your true feelings however you can. And this doesn’t just apply to LGBTQI issues, it can also be as seemingly small a thing as asking for what you want with your partner, or as crucial a thing as saying ‘no’ to what you don’t want.
Be a Respectful Lover
Respect the wishes of others. As long as they don’t infringe on your needs/boundaries you should be making every effort to respect the wishes of your sexual partner/s. This year I resolve to be extra vigilant.
Explore Your Fantasy
Have you been keeping a sexy little secret up your sleeve? Been too shy to spell it out for your lover? Perhaps you dream of being tied up (or of doing the tying?)
Maybe you like women in uniform or men in women’s lingerie but have been too scared to see if your love would be interested in playing along? Let this be the year that you speak up, write it down, or hell, even act it out on video. Just remember to be respectful of your partner.
Take Time to Recharge
Need a little ‘me time’? Feeling a bit stretched and thin lately? Is your sex life suffering as a result? Self care is important for many reasons but one of the most common reasons is experiencing a loss of libido or a slightly ‘meh’ love life is simple tiredness and stress.
Depending on your life and responsibilities it may be easier or harder to get some essential downtime. But even if all you can manage is a few minutes alone in the shower, try to engage in mindfulness in that few minutes. It won’t replace good sleep but it will help your body control its physiological stress response and you will feel more together if you can practice this regularly.
Even better, if you can, is to take a reasonable chunk of time for yourself on a regular basis, daily, or weekly. Spend it doing something that relaxes you and recharges your spirits. Take a bubble bath, pursue a hobby, go for a ramble in nature or simply have a nap. You will find that many areas of your life improve if you can take a little time for yourself. It’s not selfish, it’s sensible.
Improve Your Communication
I know that this one is always an important point for me. Whether you are single or in any kind of relationship, effective communication is key to happiness and satisfaction. If you have a partner, a part of this can be taking time out specifically to be together, validating each other and showing that you have time for and interest in each others needs and concerns.
Turn off your phones, touch each other (physical connection), and listen. Couples counseling can also be a godsend. It may seem like something out of a cheesy movie but I personally know several couples that owe their blissful happiness and steel-strong bond to couples counseling.
Meet Stephen, a bold and opinionated cis-gendered gay advocate for gender equality and sexual education. Join him on the Adultsmart blog for fearless insights.