There are many perils of online dating, but for the most part it is completely safe. Online dating can be harsh, with anonymity often intensifying negative interactions. In the age of ‘keyboard warriors,’ people post vile comments behind the safety of screens, often with impunity.
Without a keyboard, 80% wouldn’t use such language face-to-face due to real-life consequences. Some people provoke others for amusement, not from genuine support for a topic. Face-to-face, 80% wouldn’t speak so harshly due to real-life consequences.
‘Reviewers’ have harmed businesses with baseless, context-free claims, leading to threats and unjust reviews. Online Dating or even finding a date is sometimes one of the toughest things to do.
Whether newly graduated, career-starting, or reeling from a sudden breakup, life’s changes are constant. Either or, it could be a vulnerable place you find yourself in and then you have to bare all for the dating scene. Sometimes if you don’t reply to someone quickly enough or decided not to respond, you can get a lot of messages from someone you don’t want contact with. Or you might get the odd dick pictures here or there but that is just one of the perils of online dating.
The Perils Of Online Dating – Your Preferences Matter
This ‘window shopping’ environment can be soul crushing especially when you’re on the receiving end of it all. I get it, you have your preferences, your fantasies, your habits and we live in a world of instant gratification where you can type in gay Asian Porn and that’s precisely what you’ll get. Yet there is a discrepancy between the idea that your porn preferences are not deemed as racist, yet your ‘preferences’ on Grindr are. Many people actually struggle with the idea that specifically listing your race likes IS racist.
On one hand, you can’t blame them. It’s an ‘insta-sex app’ and they’re essentially listing their ‘preferences’. It can also be quite tough if you begin a lot of conversations with people and so many people just don’t end up being anything like they say. Or when you meet them they can end up being a cat fish and try to scam you for your money. Then when you meet them they are a completely different person.
Be Aware Of How Your Preferences Come Across
What they don’t realise is the damage this causes, and the damage that some of the responses cause. You might be comfortable to a certain extent with your body, mind and sexuality (Though, arguable considering the explicitness of some of the ‘preferences’ listed), but the queer world is already shallow enough without it being explicit.
By listing preferences, you’re essentially slamming the door in someone’s face, by commenting ‘Ewww, you’re ugly’ to someone is downright degrading I have personally had someone write back, ‘I can see why you’re in an open relationship’ when I obligingly sent him a photo of my partner. What?
Yes, Grindr is an instant sex application just like Tinder, but you don’t go to a restaurant and only ever order the same thing every time. By limiting ones self, you’re not truly exploring the world and I think that that is quite a sad thing to do – just because you’re not instantly attracted to them does not mean you ever will be, and by limiting yourself you really do not know what you could be missing out on. That’s the problem with online dating, you’re given a small confined space to ‘sell’ yourself on, and quite frankly to encompass ones personality on a page means you’re inevitably selling yourself short.
10 Horror Stories About The Perils Of Dating Online
Online dating, once a fringe phenomenon, is now a mainstream and normalised method of meeting a partner. With this surge in popularity, has come a darker side and the perils of online dating. In the vast expanse of the internet, horror stories abound. From strange fetishes to sudden confessions, the world of online dating can sometimes be a terrifying place.
The Cat-Lover’s Nightmare
One anonymous woman had her first date with a man who not only smelled oddly of cats but also brought her flowers. Midway through their dinner, he declared he could see himself marrying her. The woman, understandably taken aback, made her exit as swiftly as possible.
A Foot Fetish Gone Awry
Fetishes often make an appearance in online dating. However, one gentleman took his foot fetish to an inappropriate level during a movie date with a woman he met online. After complimenting her feet, he asked if he could suck on her toes. When she declined, he attempted to do so anyway, leading to a swift kick in the face and an abrupt end to the date.
A Creepy Neighbour in Disguise
One woman was texting a man she met on Coffee Meets Bagel when the man discovered they lived in the same area. He began asking detailed questions about her exact location, raising red flags. He later revealed that he lived only three doors down, turning an innocent chat into a creepy encounter.
The Dinner Date That Ended in Tears
A woman recalls a disastrous date with a man who seemed normal at first. However, during the course of the dinner, he drank excessively and began crying about his ex-girlfriend. Afterwards, he vomited on her shoulder, turning a potentially pleasant date into a nightmare.
The Meth-Head Surprise
One man agreed to get in the car of a woman he’d met online, only to regret his decision almost immediately. After an hour-long phone conversation about her baby daddy, she asked if she could smoke in his car. Assuming she meant marijuana, he agreed. However, he soon discovered she was smoking meth.
The Cold Shoulder
A woman planned a romantic outdoor movie picnic for her first Tinder date. However, her date downed the wine she brought, mocked her choice of snacks, and complained about the cold. After she offered him her jacket, he proceeded to wrap himself in it and shun her for the rest of the date.
The Sword Enthusiast
One woman ended up at her date’s apartment after a few dates. However, she was horrified to find his walls adorned with swords and machetes. To make matters worse, he held one of the weapons to her throat to demonstrate their strength. Needless to say, she left immediately.
A Threesome Invitation
A man was excited for his first date with a woman he’d been chatting with on Tinder. However, his excitement quickly turned into shock when she showed up with her husband, revealing that they were looking for a threesome.
The Date Who Couldn’t Let Go
A man was set up on a date with a woman. After a few drinks, he began to feel warm in his underwear. He then realised he had defecated in his pants. Despite this embarrassing incident, he still messaged the woman, expressing his desire to see her again.
The Date Who Wanted More
One woman went on a date with a man who drank a lot of wine and then began to get aggressive. When she declined his advances, he followed her home and demanded more wine. She called the police and he was arrested.
The Date Who Turned Violent
A woman met a man on a dating app and they hit it off. However, during their date, he became violent and attempted to rape her. She managed to escape and reported him to the police.
The Date Who Refused to Leave
A woman invited a man she met online to her apartment for a date. However, he refused to leave and started living with her and her family. He also began to physically assault her.
Despite these horrifying tales about the perils of online dating, these incidents are outliers in the vast sea of dating experiences. For every horror story, there are countless stories of successful, meaningful connections made online.
It’s always important to take precautions when meeting someone new from the internet. Always meet in a public place, tell a friend where you’re going, and listen to your instincts. Stay safe and happy dating!
Author: Stephen Smith – BA Of Social Sciences, M.Ed
Meet Stephen, a bold and opinionated cis-gendered gay advocate for gender equality and sexual education. Join him on the Adultsmart blog for fearless insights.