Have a Perfect One-Night Stand

Lynx Angel on Bed

I have had a few one nightstands in my time and I can’t say they have all left me feeling that great. Yes, the walk of shame is not a stranger to me.  When you have a good one though it can be just what the doctor ordered, whether that be just a primal need to have sex or a boost to the confidence. If you do it right, the whole process of seeking out a one off sex encounter with someone can be as intoxicating as champagne. If you don’t do it right, it can simply leave you feeling like an awful hangover. Here are a few things I think that may help you avoid the most common pitfalls of one night stand. If you follow these tips, you will be more likely to have top notch one night stands. The majority of these things become irrelevant if the reason you are having one off sex is because you are absolutely wasted and barely know what you’re doing. In such circumstances, even if it is a successful one night stand, you won’t remember it anyway.

So what do we need to take into account before we even think about having a one night stand? Well, quite apart from not being drunk, the main thing is to make sure you have the right temperament in the first place, sex is inextricably linked to emotions. It is a certain kind of person that can simply enjoy the physical pleasures of sex without making other emotional connections with the other person. Men are much better at compartmentalising emotions and consequently are more likely to have a good time.

 

I had this one night stand. The next morning I felt so guilt that I went out and bought another one for the other side of the bed.
Quote: One Night Stand

 

Women often come off worse, with only 54% having a good time as opposed to 85% of men. Women and much less often men can end up feeling empty, lonely, dirty or embarrassed.  An interesting thing to consider if you are a women, is that women tend to raise their standards when it comes to one off sex, actively seeking someone better looking than perhaps their usual boyfriends are. Men it seems, do the exact opposite and tend to drop their standards. This goes some way to understanding why they are often ultimately more satisfied and have a more positive experience generally.

Even if you are confident in your abilities to put away unhelpful emotions, you should still think about why you want one in the first place. We should examine our motives as to why we want one and there are plenty of very good reasons why we might. Some people, it turns out, are wired to have one night stands. There is a gene called DRD4 that is often present in people who have a lot of them. The same gene also makes a person prone to cheating and getting high. You might also just simply be in the mood for a good fuck! It can be a lot less draining sleeping with a stranger than having serial casual sex with someone.

What if you are fresh out of a relationship or you haven’t had any for ages? One night stands are great tonic for getting you back in the game. You don’t even have to be yourself either, you can pretend to be anyone and that is exciting. You can live out kinky fantasies with people you aren’t going to be involved with again. It is an opportunity to let loose and find out stuff about yourself. They are also great for revenge! It is very easy to find a one night, there are loads of options. Try to avoid having one with a person you might see around in circumstances that could be embarrassing in the future. Co-workers are never a good idea and even friends of friends can turn out to be a massive nightmare.

If you want zero chance of the other person ending up wanting anything slightly more than sex, like say, a cup of tea afterwards, or something equally outrageous, then pay for it. There are plenty of places to find lovely girls and guys who will gladly take your money and give you exactly what you want. There are also the adult classifieds in places like Craigslist and Back Door Personals. There you will find all sorts of people wanting no strings attached one off sex. But most of those will be escorts. And you need to be doubly safety conscious in those situations.  You can always go the old fashioned route if you like, and pick someone up in a bar but like most things now, it is probably more efficient to do it online.

Why narrow down your choices when there are so many sites out there dedicated to casual sex with thousands of people wanting the same.  There are dating sites like Tinder and Grinder, where it is easy to find someone who would love a one night stand, but with it being  a relationship site, there is always the chance you might , well, get just that…a relationship. Even if it is only annoying follow up messages.

You may as well use a website fit for purpose. Which one though? It is probably best to use a paid one. Friend finder X seems like one of the better ones. These will be the safest, by ‘safest’, I mean have the most bone -fide profiles on and the quality will probably be higher. You won’t be spending money on drinks and dinners anyway so you may as well pay for the site.

 

Shirtless Man on Bed
Male Model on Bed

 

When it comes to writing your profile on those sites, you don’t have to beat around the bush either (unless that’s what you are into) the more honest and specific you are about what you want and who you want, the less likelihood for disappointment. As well as being specific in your profile, both you and the recipient should be putting safety first, so try and make yourself look “normal”   It is a bit scary to go and meet a torso with a 9 inch dick….. What if that is all there actually is?!  Make sure at least one photo is one of you doing a hobby or out with mates. And preferably one clothed and RECENT!

Look for profiles of others that also look “normal”. You might want a girl with her pussy pierced and love the picture of it. But it is probably safest for you to see what it is attached to. Once you have your date, whether it was arranged in advance or you only just met outside the club on the taxi rank, here is a bit of one night stand etiquette that is worth at least attempting. Let someone else know where you are going and who with. And make sure you have your phone and money.  Don’t get too pissed and don’t go with anyone pissed. It is so important to have your wits about you. This person could be anybody.

Consent is everything at all stages of proceedings and both parties need to take equal responsibility. If one of you is too drunk to be able to make informed consent then it is up to the other to say no thanks. Both need to gauge whether each other is in the right frame of mind to be consenting, whatever you end up doing.  No means no. The fact that you don’t know the person and may never see them again doesn’t give you free reign to behave like an idiot.  This is not a green light opportunity to push things a bit further than is comfortable for one of you.

If the sex is going to take place at someone’s home, then try to make it yours. It makes you feel more comfortable, you are in charge and if anything did happen to you then everyone would know where you were. For god sake use protection! Have fun, experiment, use sex toys, bondage kits, penis plugs, make the most of it, be brave and ask for what you fantasies about. Don’t do anything too freaky though, without warning!  Just because it is a one night stand, you don’t have to leave out the foreplay and compliments. They make both of you feel flattered and comfortable, and that makes for better sex.

You don’t need to entertain, you are not on a date. A drink maybe for nerves. You don’t have to cook a breakfast the next day. If it is late and the girl can’t get home offer her the bed, just like you would a mate. When it comes to leaving, be nice and split the cab fare.  Take everything with you…. if you ‘accidentally’ (on purpose) leave something behind, you are probably not the type to have one night stands.

Be as respectful and as polite as you would be in your everyday life. This is a ‘person’ you are with, with family and friends just like you. Don’t expect sex the next day. Last night was last night. By all means show an interest if you like but just because it happened the previous night, repeat sex is never a given, it is a privilege.  Lastly, whatever you do, don’t be a moron in the morning, or worse immediately afterwards, armed with a bunch of lame excuses about why you have to go. You were only there for sex. It is easy just to tell someone it is time for them to go, or that it is time for you to leave. Just make sure you do it confidently and nicely, preferably squeeze in a bit of a compliment.

Something like “Hey, I’m absolutely knackered, thanks so much for that sex, it was really hot! See Ya!”

About the Author: By Emily a Consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centre

Find Your Partner’s Sexual Fetish

Couple Playing Xbox

When we struggle to answer our daily lifestyle questions:

“Should I eat some ice-cream for breakfast?”

or

“Should I wear a jumper out during spring?”

other topic’s can be quite hard to talk about. The topic of sex is not spoken in conversation as often as it should be. For example, a foot fetish which is one of the most prominent fetishes in society may be difficult to talk about with your friends or acquaintances. How often do you talk about foot fetishes or see feet being sexually objectified or portrayed through your favourite dramatic TV show like Home and Away or The Bold and the Beautiful? This is surprising when you compare it to the first prominent fetish which is “breasts”. Another double standard we have in society is that women can use a vibrator without a second thought but when a man buys a life size, expertly molded, high-end, hand painted, waterproof, heated, vibrating, 6 speed, fully customisable, phatalette free, CyberSkin, Reality Doll that has full breasts, ribbed vagina, butt and mouth, he can be labeled numerous negative thing’s even though both sexes use sexual toys to relieve built up sexual tension.

The very first question you have to ask yourself is:

“Why is it important to know someone’s fetish?”.

A fetish is something which arouses you but it deviates from normal sexual expectations, it is a personal eccentricity that I personally believe a lot of people have or may develop over time. But why is it important to understand your partner’s fetish? It is important to understand your partner’s deepest secrets and desires so you both will build a stronger relationship together. By taking your time to understand someone’s interests, views, emotions, and intentions it will bring them feelings of empathy, acceptance, love and trustworthiness. These feelings will help build their self-acceptance by giving them a place to belong to. Even if we take the time to understand different views we can accept multiple beliefs which can build stronger relationships. For example, someone can have a loving relationship and watch tentacle porn in their spare time.

Funny Fetish
Cartoon: Find Your Partner’s Sexual Fetish – Pokemon Oddish Fetish

Finding out someone else’s sexual desires or fetishes is very difficult task indeed. People can take years to divulge their secret passions because people are scared of being the butt of a joke or being humiliated by other people’s thoughts of their interests. If people respond negatively in this situation, it can alienate and polarize the person’s feelings. Especially when the person you have told is important to you and is not meant to hurt you. Feeling humiliation from that person can end up feeling quite painful. Due to this pain people would rather keep these fetishes to themselves.

When watching someone’s face we tend to mimic her or his facial expression, smiling when they does, frowning in agreement. Such mimicry may not be obvious to the casual observer, but minute muscle activation can be detected very shortly after being exposed to an emotional expression. Even our eyes dilate in tune to the ones we’re looking at.

To find out someone most private personal details or sexual desires, you really need to establish trust. The trust has to be ethically honest and not forged or misguided by any other motives. After all, trust in a long term relationship is founded by commitment, love and understanding. A loving environment is what people need to feel like they can talk to you but that’s how the environment should be anyway especially if your in a long term relationship.

The very first step is gaining their interest by introducing what a sexual desire is. You can begin by talking about different fetish topics, some fetishes that everyone talks about commonly include foot fetish, bondage and hentai. Everyone begins looking at these fetishes first so they will probably have some basic information they can talk to you about. Talking about other people’s fetishes will make the person naturally think about their own interests.

The next step is to be honest without expecting anything in return. I personally believe it is important that you are honest with yourself, as how can you expect someone else to be honest you with, if you can’t be honest to them. Maybe tell them what your interested in if you have a fetish. Maybe it is introducing them to the world of BDSM or showing them how you like it when they are in control. Sometimes you might be doing something during sex and it correlates with your interest. For example, your partner might enjoy being spanked. So let them know that spanking can be a lot more sexual with the use of leather whips, costumes or role playing.

If you are totally honest with your partner it will only improve the bond that is in your relationship and there are no ‘dark hidden secrets’ that can rear their ugly head and cause problems.

5 Romantic Ideas

Sex Toys Enhance Relationships

Review: Lelo Soraya

Lelo Vibrator

“Exquisite Pleasure Both Inside & Out. For the girl who wants it all and refuses to compromise, SORAYA™ blends beauty and brawn for complete satisfaction, time and time again.”

As an avid Lelo Collecter, I couldn’t take my eye’s away from the luxurious Lelo Soraya, it was astonishing. It was one of the first vibrator’s that caught my attention when I walked into an Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centre for the first time in my life. What caught my attention the most was the sleek design with the golden toned metallic sides that seemed to mold in so perfectly with the body safe soft skin like silicone coating. When I first opened up my Lelo Soraya from out of the box, I thought it really should be placed on display in my bedroom with that unmistakable touch of luxury!

I bought the Lelo Soraya because it was sleek and the design wasn’t intimidating at all. The design was simple and not overly complicated, it was something I could easily understand how to use from the “get go”. The Lelo Soraya is a rabbit vibrator that has been made to help you reach a blended g-spot and clitoral orgasmic climax. The two motor’s within the Lelo Soraya work independently for precise stimulation; It has a motor within the thin shaft for vaginal insertion and a motor within the tickling rabbit ear for clitoral stimulation. For a first time rabbit vibrator user, it didn’t scare me with any excess movements or crazy curves that I really didn’t need. I felt like it was easy to use as I could move it without being to rough with myself as the curves are barely there. The design encourages you to be experimental.

Lelo Vibrator
Sex Toy: Lelo Soraya

Lelo Soraya’s button’s are easy to understand and equally easy to reach when the sex toy is fully inserted. The plus button turns it on and highers the vibration intensity, it can be a very powerful vibrator. The minus button lowers the vibration intensity, it can be a very soft and gentle vibrator. The button in the middle changes the modes. There are 8 mode’s that are very exciting and you’ll find on different day’s you may like different modes depending on how you are feeling.  Since the controls are easily reachable, you won’t be hurting your back when your using it. What I have found most useful about the sex toy is actually the insignia grab-able hole that is has on the bottom. This hole is used so you can grab it with your hand so you cane move it on, around and inside your body with ease. You won’t even be aware your holding it either as it is not heavy.

The Lelo Soraya is fully rechargeable and will last up to 4 hours. Since it is rechargeable, it is also super quiet as there are no batteries rattling around within the sex toy. You should always look for a quiet sex toy if you are worried of people hearing you or if the noise will take over your sexual experience. The Lelo Soraya comes in three colours including Cerise which is a Deep Purple, Deep Rose and Black. It is 100% waterproof for shower or bath fun. It can also be travel locked so it doesn’t accidentally turn on when you are out and about.  Inside the sex toy box you will find a black satin bag and a golden Lelo insignia badge. I place the Lelo insignia badge on my black satin so I can tell the difference between m y sex toys easily without have to open up the bags.

The Lelo brand has never failed to create long lasting product’s that can be used time and time again. I can honestly tell you I have never had a problem with any Lelo product I have ever owned. Not one of my Lelo sex toys has ever broken down. The Lelo brand are made so well that when I purchase them, I am never scared of wasting my time or money which says a lot about the brand.  If you would like to have a long lasting, high-end, quality sex toy I can easily say that your money would be well spent when you buy the Lelo Soraya.

About the Author: Elaine is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Finding Your Partners Sexual Fetish

Kylie Jenner Disability

A fetish is something which arouses a person but deviates from normal sexual expectations. A fetish can be seen as a personal eccentricity. It is believed that a lot of people have a fetish or may develop one over time. But why is it important to understand your partner’s fetish? By taking your time to understand someone’s fetish it will bring them feelings of acceptance, trust and love. These feelings allow the person to fulfill their strong psychological and social need to belong. When they feel they belong in a place in society, they are able to explore their fetish by themselves or in a safe environment with you.

We must be able to tolerate the fetish by decently living aside it. Acceptance is much more than tolerance; we don’t simply just tolerate the fetish but we say that the fetish is okay.  Acceptance is when we are able to live with the person’s fetish and we do not try to change it or argue against it. When we move past acceptance, we are able to understand someone’s fetish. This can be done by taking your time to think about the topic and then communicating or managing social interactions in a respectful and unprejudiced manner.  If you have a live-and-let-live attitude you will easily be able to accept other people’s views. This attitude will assist you to get along with other people.

Your partner must be able to trust you to disclose their fetish to you. Trust is important because people have had their trust broken by a violation of an agreement that may have mentally injured them. For example, there is an agreement between people in a relationship that they must care for the other person. After they disclose their fetish to you; Maybe their fetish was that they watch tentacle porn or maybe they like dressing up as a furry. In response, you may have accidentally humiliated them. They may then feel a sense of betrayal. When the humiliation is left unaddressed, they may develop hurt feelings.  Betrayal of agreements will occur in any relationship. When it occurs you must be able to take responsibility for your actions, apologies whilst deeply feeling remorse.

Porn Parodies
DVD: The Doctor Porn Parody

To trust one another, we must learn about them and they must learn about us. It is not about putting the best version of yourself forward. It is about consciously being honest with who you are which includes your eccentricities, natures and habits. In this case, trust is built on these very human qualities.  This means your new definition of trust is that you may unintentionally hurt each other, though each of you will take responsibility for your actions and then work towards improving your relationship in a loving environment.

If you are in a loving long term relationship, when you touch your partner their fear response gets turned off and their stress levels are relieved. They are instantly comforted by your familiarity and soothed. The loss of stress and inhibition allows them to feel aroused more easily. This environment provides your partner with a feeling of safety.

Safety is the one ingredient that allows people the freedom of sexual exploration, imagination and play. When people feel safe and ready, they can allow themselves to open up to you. Once they have opened up to you, it is important to ask them questions about their fetish so that you can gain enough knowledge about their preferences. Your questions may include –

“What is the name of your fetish? What is the fetish about? How long have you had this fetish for? When did you know you had this fetish? What do you like most about the fetish? What are you psychologically attracted to in the fetish? Are there other aspects of the fetish you don’t like? How often do you think about the fetish?”

You can take your time to tolerate, accept, understand, build trust and provide a loving environment for them to explore their fetish privately by themselves or find a workable compromise or if you would like to take the opportunity to explore it with them in your sexual interactions through role play, costumes, literotica, pornography and sex toys. On the other hand, it is also important to be aware of someone else’s fetish as sadly, sometimes people don’t share the same level of enthusiasm for the fetish or the fetish may cause distress through the harm of others. In this case, it is important to question your long term compatibility so that everyone in the situation is taken care of.

About the Author: Elaine is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres