Join a Free Fetish Community

Fetlife Community
During the short time I have been a part of the Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centre, I have only ever had a couple of customers inquiring about fetish events, clubs and classes etc. One of our lovely colleagues, told me that she had quite a few inquiries about the fetish community. She was wondering where and how a person can begin entering the fetish community. I will answer her question now with the knowledge of my many years of experience.
The best place to begin in the fetish community is on the Internet. The internet is a wonderful place to start, these days you can find out just about anything you like once you click in the right keywords. You need to use a search engine like google if your wanting to explore the fetish scene, the correct word to type in is “BDSM” and click search. When the search engine returns your results, you will find there are a lot of different resources you can learn from including web pages, blogs and even youtube videos. The best thing to do to submerse yourself in the fetish lifestyle is to start reading information about BDSM and fetishes. Submersing yourself in the information will help you gain the understanding of the mentality behind it all.There is a lot of reading that you need to do, to learn all about it!
Once you have read and understood the basics, you can start to consider joining an online fetish community named Fetlife.com. It is important to mention Fetlife is not a dating site. There are some people in the Fetlife community who treat it like a dating site only to discover that it is not one and get no where with it. Fetlife is only for those who take this lifestyle seriously. If you’re just curious about BDSM or fetish lifestyle or just wanting to “pick up” this website is not for you. You will need to go to dating websites like OkCupid, RSVP or eharmony.
Fetlife Community Badge
I Love Fetlife Badge
Fetlife is a website for BDSM kinksters to share their journeys and experiences through their online profiles. The community shares their personal photos, videos (available to members only), poetry, writings and erotica. On Fetlife you will find Dominants, Submissives, Masters, Slaves, Daddy’s, Babygirls, Kinksters and many more. When you first join Fetlife, I would recommend to just sit back and interact with people on there. They are generally quite happy to chat. You can exchange opinions, ideas and they will do their best to answer any questions you may have. You can talk about almost any topic you can think of including sex toys, sex positions, bondage, fetish and BDSM.
After you learn about the Fetlife community your next step is to meet people in the scene. You can meet people through a munch-up even which is a gathering for dinks and nibblies. This is the best way to start. There is a drop down menu which list’s the different events, gatherings and classes coming up. Some events are by private invitation only and are not on the events list. The best way to start with the events is by attending the “Hellfire” club. It is a lighter atmosphere with great energy!  The Hellfire Club is a good place to get into the swing of things without it being too overwhelming for a beginner.
Since BDSM is a type of lifestyle, it is a way of life and there are rules each person who is in it needs to follow. The same applies to Fetlife events, following rules is a MUST! If rules are being violated, you will be kicked out of the club immediately no matter who you know! To the Fetlife following provides safety which is everything to the community and respect is a huge factor to! So please don’t go in drugged or drunk or thinking that the rules don’t apply to you. It will get you nowhere.
Floggings take place throughout the night in different parts of the club. There is also a dance floor and a show which takes place at some point during the evening. There is a dress code. The dress code is fetish, goth or kinky. You generally have to wear black. If you take no effort with the rules, you get no entry to the event. The people are very friendly and welcoming.  Once you start meeting people, you will find that most of them will be quite happy to help you along on your journey. Everything else will fall into place on its own. Remember….be sensible and don’t judge. Enjoy!!
Meeting people seperately requires a lot more work and should be done with caution. You can meet people preferably at a munch or a public place. It’s also a good idea to let someone know where you will be meeting the person, so someone knows where you are at life times. This person is called a “safe person”. Remember….Safe, Sane and Consensual!!

What’s in Her Bum?

Cat Surprised

This weekend I received a phone call from one of my friends who had woken up a bit worse for wear in her new boyfriends bed. She was a little bit perplexed because she could feel her missing sex toy stuck way up her bum. She found her bullet vibrator! Every time she laughed on the phone the thing started vibrating!  She had a bit of a feel around up there, but to no avail. She said that having her new boyfriend try to retrieve it in the cold light of day had proved a little bit too weird. After I stopped laughing . I told her not to use anal toys with out a flared base in future. Then I carried on laughing.  It did get me thinking about how sex often doesn’t go to plan and can end up being pretty damn embarrassing sometimes.

Sex is great fun as we all know but due to the nature of the intimacy there are endless opportunities for us to feel vulnerable or downright awkward. I think it is safe to say that all of us will experience at least one embarrassing thing during our sexual lifetime. It doesn’t even have to be you doing something that is embarrassing it can be another person. I remember having a sexual encounter with a guy I met in a bar, now to all intents and purposes he seemed like a very normal Englishman, charming and handsome. He was stunning underneath his underwear to. Indeed he stayed pretty much like that, that is right up until he was about to cum.. when all of a sudden he morphed into some kind of cowboy. He started talking in a broad Texan accent and shouted something like “rock and roll baby” …. Oh my god I was so embarrassed, for me, for him… Hey, I was embarrassed for America.   I don’t even remember how I handled the situation. The rest of the night is a blur. I do remember that he wasn’t in the least bit ashamed and in case you are wondering he definitely wasn’t doing it to be funny.

 

Cowboy Riding Horse

The point of my story is that I was the one who was embarrassed. You see, therein lies the solution to embarrassing sex. There is a very wise saying that life is only 10 percent what happens to you and 90% how you react. That is so true. I would like to say I am the guy who trips over in public then bows to everyone, laughing endearingly and charmingly at his mistake  and then walks on his merry way with everyone in awe of his confidence and gagging to be friends with him.  I’m not “That Guy”  though,  I am the one who trips up then pretends it is part of the way  I always walk, even tripping a bit again a couple of times to make it more convincing!!  For some reason I can’t understand I find it preferable to look like I have one leg shorter than the other, rather  than to just  own the fact that I may have tripped a bit.  Sex can be very clumsy, you might bang heads together so hard you want to cry. You might get cramp or fall off the bed. Try and be the guy who laughs and takes a bow.

Everyone, well most people have farted at one point or another during sex. The noise levels, aroma and position at the time directly contribute to just how completely humiliating this can be. Then as if that wasn’t bad enough us women have to deal with wet air loudly puffing out of our other holes when we least want it. Yes  the good old fanny fart or “queefing” as it is now known.  Anyway, for bottom farters out there, there isn’t much you can do  except laugh when it happens and avoid positions where your arse is in the air. Same goes for gash guffing (I just made that up) except if you are regular perpetrator of that particular affliction, you can employ a bit of damage limitation by sneakily inserting your fingers while having sex to let the air escape in a more controlled fashion.

Another common one many of us will have come across is when his penis doesn’t find its destination quite as easily as expected . I thought dicks had some kind of parking device, and that the organ was like a sort of heat seeking missile, deftly and effortlessly slipping into the awaiting vagina. I didn’t realise it sometimes messed  around down there like a salesman,  frantically knocking at every door on the street looking for any old way in.   Time freezes…the  search seems to last an eternity , He is thinking he looks like a virgin who doesn’t know what the hell he is doing.  She is thinking,  ‘warmer…warmer…that’s it….na… colder….woah there! easy tiger!” She should probably say that out loud actually, it might lighten the situation.

Trying something new for the first time  is always potentially embarrassing. New sex toys can be fraught with problems or even old sex toys as my friend found out.  So speak up if something’s  not working .  never forget the other person is feeling the same way. The longer you let any of  these kind of situations go on the more excruciating they become and the harder it is to come back from them. Say something funny or  stop an embarrassing moment in its tracks with a compliment. ” hey I prefer looking at your face’ when both of you have clearly had enough of trying not to gag while pretending to enjoy the entire bottle of banana flavoured lube you have smothered your bits in.Inline image 1

Embracing what ever happens during sex  is the best thing to do. This is only possible if you are easy on yourself and accept it isn’t going to be perfect all the time.  It can also be something you end up laughing and joking about for years to come and anyway worse case scenario,  its stuff you can laugh about  with your mates  further down the track!

 

By Alexis from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centre

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The Seduction of Dance

Lating Dancing

There are many ways for animals in nature to seduce the one they want. For example, a peacock displays his massive eye-spotted tail as part of a courtship or a female bonobo monkey hits male’s body to show her enthusiasm for having sex. I strongly recommend you watch attached video below, especially between 1.30 – 2.00, just to understand what I mean and also to have a little bit of fun.

 

 

Just a little reminder: Scientists say that our closest ancestors are not Bonobo Monkeys but Chimpanzees so please don’t try to excuse yourself to hit your mates after watching this video above.

When it comes to homo sapiens; we mostly prefer to say “You look beautiful/handsome” as a starting point since we invented alphabet or even wearing some seductive lingerie or clothes. Of course, there are numerous other ways to exhibit your deepest desires for them, yet there is a unique way taking place at every moment of the history of humanity even in prehistoric era, dancing! Imagine some people from a hunter-gatherer society (see the extracted image from a cave painting below; yellow and green circles respectively) sitting around a fire 40000 years ago; something already gave two guys a boner (red circles) and they are trying to get their mates attention by waving their arms (the ones in purple circles are our guys’ mates). Although the one on the far left seems a bit unhappy with the situation, you can see another couple having further intimacy (blue circle). Whilst this is just my imagination, I believe that there is a high possibility for the things to be like this even ages ago. You know that sex was one of the most powerful driving force for humanity in the past and it will be the same in the future as well.

People are doing the same thing in clubs and bars in the 21st century instead of around a fire to impress the person they want to have sex with. Having had a kind of similar idea years ago, I enrolled in a class and learned how to perform 5 different latin dances for whole year. Only two weeks later, I was embarrassed by what I thought about dancing earlier. There were 5 different characteristics for each of them and those characteristics made me feel the passion in dancing day by day and associate dancing with sex, or vice versa; so picking up someone came as a bonus afterwards.

Cha Cha Cha: When marimba rhythms start to play it is time for cha cha. If you are in a ballroom and planning to ask the one you like to dance, “Sway” will be a good choice to start with; preferably Michael Buble version, I wouldn’t mind though if they played Pussy Cat Dolls version. Cha cha is perfect for the first time of couples (or one night-stands, doesn’t matter) it is a cheeky, flirty dance. 1..2..3..cha cha The girl tries to attract him with her showy moves and the boy chases her correspondingly; this is the teasing nature of cha cha. In the course of the dance, both parties will be learning something about each other even if it is in a challenging manner and they will be happy in the end, for sure.

 

Samba: Whilst cha cha is to carry your lust from dance floor to home with its effective and sharp movements, samba is all about excitement, in my opinion, as I always associate it with foreplay; all night long, like in a carnival in Rio. By the way, I would like to disambiguate between samba and salsa as most people think that they are pretty same. Samba is a dance originated from African people in Brazil who brought their culture to Latin America and can be danced solo or as a couple, on the other hand, Salsa is emerged from Caribbean and needs a pair to be performed. Salsa needs specific choice of music, but samba is pretty easy-going if it is the case. That’s why I find samba pretty suitable to foreplay, just as you want it to be according to your instincts.

 

Paso Doble: It means double-step in Spanish and on the contrary to popular belief, the traditional couple paso doble was commenced in France, then Iberian Peninsula has adopted it. Basically, this type of dance represents bullfight and many different variations of the music “Espana Cani” is used during this representation especially in ballroom performances. The man is in the role of the matador in this dance and the woman can be anything but the bull such as the cape, the shadow of the matador so on. Although masculinity is not my cup of tea, I can’t help myself thinking how sexy movements paso doble have and it reminds me of the beginning of an intercourse after a long foreplay; captivating, a little bit of brutal but ecstatic.

 

Rumba: This is the slowest one in all latin dances, don’t be fooled by its rhythm though; believe me, posing and maintaining the choreography are really hard to achieve in slow motion. It is said that Rumba is the dance of love; it doesn’t necessarily have to show a couple’s fantasy or steps to the bed though, it can also exhibit a tragic love between two. The main point is emphasise the tenderness between lovers which perfectly fits my perception of the second stage of an intercourse. After an intense start to intercourse, some people want to have a kind of break to lower their heart beat, to recover their breath but they don’t want to get the sweat dry, so there is nothing better than rumba rhythms to keep playing; slow, tender but lustful enough to be prepared for grand final.

 

Jive: And finally, here is my fave! Jive is originated from African-Americans in 30s in the States and it is the fastest one among five international latin dances. There are some similarities with samba in terms of pace and partying, yet the music is so different that whilst samba seems like you are having fun with your drink in a street festival, jive feels like you are going to have a more decent night with your lover. Jive is generally performed in the end after other 4 latin dances in dance competitions meaning that “We still have energy to dance even at the fastest pace (176 bpm)” to show the prowess they have just like most people having sex with thrusts as fast as they can just before reaching climax.

 

It is widely known that dancing can have the following benefits:

  • Increases your muscular strength,
  • Gives you weight management,
  • Gives better coordination and flexibility
  • Improves condition of your heart and lungs

The benefits of dancing are almost similar to the benefits of sex, exercise or even using sex toys and as a result of these; Dancing helps you improve your general and psychological well-being which leads to better social skills. Additionally, it is a perfect way to fix the problems of a couple losing their lust by the help of its intimate nature and not limited only for straight couples for sure, there are many dance studios in Sydney where same-sex couples are more than welcome.

 

Couple Seduction Dancing

By Goki a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Review: L’amourose Vera

Womens Vibrator

I love the L’amourose luxury sex toy brand, they are top of my recommended sex toy list that I alway’s show to people.  I am not alone in that thought, as a sex toy brand they don’t seem to be as well known as Lelo, but I think they more than deserve to be on the Very Important Person list. The other day, I  was sold one to a customer, who bought one for her friend as a birthday present! I tested the L’amourose Vera and placed it back in its box. I was struck by just how beautifully it is packaged and what a gorgeous present it would for someone special to receive.

Beauty can sometimes only be skin deep though, so I thought it would be best to take a closer look at the sex toy. The packaging is lovely; There is an outer black cardboard box sleeve with a simple picture of the elegant sex toy with the brand name and the name Vera across it with gold writing. I have to say I am not keen on the name Vera. You see, I came from the United Kingdom and the word “Vera” conjures up images of old ladies who have lead a hard life, but that’s just how I look at that name. Back to explaining the box! Inside the outer box is a beautiful quality black textured sturdy box with a ribbon round it.  It is excellent quality and more of a keepsake than a box. It  comes apart and there is Vera, proudly languishing on its onyx cut charger base. It isn’t really onyx, it is black abs plastic, but it is as shiny as polished glass. They call this their black diamond range, it is very appropriately named. Underneath the sex toy is a compartment which contains instructions, a warranty card and the charging cord, plug and a velvet storage bag.  Three nice touches that L’amourose offers is that the bag is lined with satin and that the plug is included for the USB cord. More and more companies seem to assume you have your own these days. The other impressive thing is the length of the warranty which is is for 18 months with a lifetime 50% back policy. That is one of the best warranties out there in the sex toy industry.

Womens Vibrator

Vera measures just 3.5 inches long and 2 inches wide, it’s pretty small but not so small that it’s uncomfortable to hold. The shape and size of it are perfect for fitting in the palm of your hand. The toy is coated on the bottom half with silky luxury 100% body safe silicone. Its top is the same black diamond design as the charger and made from ABS.  The underside has a scoop out of it like the we vibe touch. Unlike the touch, it is an oval in shape. The toy has 12 vibration speeds and 5 different pattern settings of which one is constant. The control is simple, just a plus and minus for intensity and a central button to scroll through the modes.  You just press and hold the minus to switch off.

I was most intrigued to see how the vibrations measured up to some of L’amourose’s other toys. The much lauded L’amourorse Rouge is renowned throughout the world of sex bloggers as having some of the rumbliest vibrations on the market. It would be impossible to pack the same power into something as small as Vera, but I am pleased to say I am not disappointed. I would say the vibrations are most comparable to  the WeVibe touch or the Lelo Mia 2. Unlike those two toys though, there isn’t really an option if it is pin point clitoral stimulation that you want. The vibrations disperse all over the toy and are strongest at the end with out the scoop.

It is completely waterproof  as it charges on its base via magnets.  and out of the water will feel even lovelier with a good water based lube on,It takes 90 minutes to charge and you get 3 hours of play It comes in 3 gorgeous and sophisticated colours, pinky mauve , black and a dusky red colour.  Its shape means it makes a great body massager too.  It is perfect for a gift and would make an amazing first toy purchase.

By Emily a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Effortlessly Help Sexual Over-Sensitivity

Couple in Bed in the Morning

Sensation as quoted by the dictionary as being

“A perception associated with stimulation of a sense organ or with a specific body condition. The faculty to feel or perceive; physical sensibility. An indefinite, generalized body feeling.”

When talking about sensation in regards to adult toys it is usually perceived as more sensation means more pleasure. It can also be believed that there is “no such thing as too much stimulation”. While in a lot of cases there is a direct correspondence between pleasure and amount of stimulation experienced both men and women can suffer from sexual over sensitivity. We have found that the main people who experienced it is inexperienced people, sometimes over sensitivity is also linked with a medical related issue.

Over sensitivity is a difficult feeling to describe. Some people say that over sensitivity is when stimulation can cause different uncomfortable sensations like:

  • Pain with no pleasure
  • Discomfort, dick or uneasiness feeling
  • Odd sensations like a odd tickling feeling or a cold object touching your skin giving your shivers
  • Inability to orgasm or climax
  • Premature ejaculation
  • Feelings of embarrassment and stress

Unfortunately these issues usually cause a lot of frustration between couples and the one who suffers from over sensitivity are usually too embarrassed to seek help. In many cases issues like these become unresolved leading to an unsatisfying sexual lifestyle. After doing a bit of research on the Internet, I find people ask similar questions like this one:

“My wife is so sensitive that she finds even foreplay too much. Is this a medical issue, or is there something we can do differently?”

Over sensitivity can be caused by excessive pressure or too much stimulation. Be sure to communicate honestly with your lover, make sure you tell your partner if they are stroking too strongly or too quickly. If your lover is struggling to pleasure you, try to guide their hand to show them how you like it. When you guide them you can either place their hand over yours or underneath yours whilst you show them how you would normally masturbate. This will take a lot of practice on both of your behalves, it is definitely not a process which will happen over night but with time people will do their best to develop their skill sets.

A very common symptom of over sensitivity, more so then discomfort or pain which can effect anyone of any experience level is premature ejaculation. An amazing option for men to assist them with premature ejaculation is for them to increase their use of male masturbators. By increasing the use of male masturbators, men can gradually become desensitised to the pleasure of stimulation. By using male masturbators the person is training to increase their levels of sexual stamina. There are two fleshlights wich are aimed to help with this process including the fleshlight stamina training unit and the fleshlight original.

Male Masturbators Online

The training unit is great as it provides different levels of stimulation while the original might be actually better as it has no ribs that would cause more stimulation and pressure. But either option you choose, just be sure to use copious amounts of lubrication and once you become comfortable start to reduce the amount of lubrication you use. Using more lubrication will help you reduce higher amounts of friction and stimulation over time.

Masturbating and ejaculating before intercourse may help some people last longer for their second round of intercourse. When you are having intercourse you can use thicker condoms.

For the ladies when you are using vibrators I recommend buying one that is made from a silicone coating. Vibrators have a great range of intensities. When masturbating, it is important to start off with a low vibration as it will give you less stimulation. With repetitive use your clitorus may become less sensitive.  If you use a lot of lubrication over your clitoris it can hugely decrease the amount of stimulation you will feel.

Another solution that is a quick way to minimise sensitivity is numbing and desensitising creams, oils or sprays. These desensitising solutions are usually used for anal intercourse or are sprayed or drank by men to numb their penis.

If over sensitivity is affecting you life and the above solutions don’t help then just remember that it’s quite common and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed to go see a doctor, especially if it’s affecting your sex life and relationships. There are a few other ways to reduce sensitivity but they are not all effective or involve medical procedures like the circumcision for men. These methods need to be consulted with your general practitioner or medical specialist professional.

By Bronson a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres