How to Get Over Being Dumped

Two Heart Broken People Photo

Over the last couple of months I have been helping a friend get over a break up. It has been incredibly frustrating and draining. He is in his fifties. He seems to be feeling things with the intensity and drama of a teenager. My advice has frequently fallen on deaf ears and at times it felt like he was going to drown in his own self-pity. He has just recently started to come around. A tiny bit maybe. He also often repeats some of the advice I gave him as his own new take on the situation, so perhaps he was listening to me after all.

This situation has literally taken up hours of my life I will never get back. It is always easier to give advice than take it. Going through a break up is a time in life when it isn’t easy to have listening ears on. It got me thinking about how I would handle a situation like that in the future and what might be a good way to speed up the horrific process of getting over being dumped.

I believe the sooner you start taking action the better. The fact you have no control over what has happened can feel unbearable. It’s similar to being locked up in jail. It is hard for any human to deal with the fact that we can’t change a situation. If we feel like we are losing control over the thing in life we value most it makes it almost impossible to compute.

The person made a personal decision for you which you didn’t want. The anger and resentment you feel towards the person who is doing this to you is immense. It brings an awful intense self-reflection about what it could be about you and who you are that made this happen. The initial feelings when someone you love finally breaks it off are often completely debilitating.

There is actually only one thing that needs to happen in order to move on but it happens to be the opposite of what you feel, and that is acceptance. Until you really believe in your soul that the relationship is over. That there is nothing you can do to change it, you won’t be able to be happy.

It isn’t all doom and gloom though. I do think there are ways to get to the acceptance stage a bit less painfully and maybe even slightly sooner.  When you initially process what has happened don’t sit going over the information for hours, days or months. Although that might be what you feel like doing. Trust me, no good will come from sharing time with the angry, mad and sad person that is living in your head right now.

The first thing you need to do is tell someone about it and get some serious crying done. Especially if you have been recently dumped, this will be great. Receiving feedback from someone, will allow you to see things from another perspective as soon as possible. Playing down your feelings and keeping them to yourself is a big mistake. So tell someone straight away and have a good old wail.

 

Sad Man on Bed Photo
Photo: Heart Broken Man

 

My friend only really confided solely in me and I think that was his first mistake. I got bored and he just went round in circles. In future, I will be advising my friends to hold a real life ‘Pity Party’. A party for all of your friends where you tell everyone what’s happened and let it all out.

During this Pity Party, get rid of all the personal things you have that remind you of your ex. You could symbolically burn them. I am a bit of a hoarder and find it really hard to get rid of things I think I might want to revisit years down the line. If you really can’t throw away the things you valued within a relationship, you can get rid of them by giving everything to a friend and ban them from giving it back to you until they think you are ready if you can bare to. While you are symbolically getting rid of everything why not play any songs that you both had “together” have a laugh and a cry about them.

When you are doing all these things around friends, the sentimental aspect is going to be a killer over the next weeks or months. The sentimental aspect will begin to lose power. There are so many benefits to these actions.

By having a pity party, you will tell everyone who is important to you all in the one go. This means you won’t have to keep re-telling the tale and as a consequence keep re-living your painful feelings. Since you have so many important people supporting you, you will feel loved at a time when you are probably going to be feeling very insecure.

Did you know the character traits you look for and admire most in a partner are usually ones that you possess a little of yourself but wish you had more of. You can use this as an opportunity to think about what you will miss most and work on developing those aspects in yourself. Funnily enough, the things we fall for are also often what end up annoying us the most. Maybe ask your friends at your ‘pity party’ what ugly traits they thought your partner had. You need to get the rose tinted version of him out of your mind and look realistically about why it might not have worked.

It is always good to write stuff down. Writing a list of all the things you are angry and upset about can be cathartic. A list is better than journaling as it takes the emotion out and leaves the facts. What can be really helpful is looking at the list and wondering what each thing is about you. You need to get out of emotional victim brain, the brain that wallows in what has been done to you. You need to get into the logic brain and think about how you can work all this to your advantage.

A hard thing to do is to avoid all the people, places and things that remind you of your ex. It is a mistake to talk with mutual friends too much because they won’t want to take sides. They may not give you the reassurances you want so don’t put yourself in that position.

So now you have done a bit of crying and self-examination the next thing on the list is to have fun. I don’t mean get straight back out there dating, although that may work for some. I think a vacation is the best tonic of all. A complete change of scene, go somewhere distracting. Have fun, be adventurous and get out of your comfort zone.

If you are the type of person that wants revenge, just remember the best revenge is being happy, successful and sex toys help to. It isn’t the end it’s the start of a new adventure.

 

About the Author: Emily is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

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Sister Roma Appearing Live in Sydney – Friday the 3rd of March

Sister Roma Porn Star Photo

As part of the lead up to the infamous Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras, Sister Roma will be appearing LIVE and FREE for a chat! You will find her at Level 2 of Park Street Books for a meet and greet between 6pm to 7pm on Friday the 3rd of March 2017. (Please keep in mind that Park Street Books was formerly known as ‘The Gay Exchange’.) During this meet and greet you will be able to see other world famous porn stars. The porn stars who will also be making an appearance include Brent Corrigan and JJ Knight. They will be in attendance to promote their new blockbuster sex movie and adult products. We anticipate an appearance by Chi Chi Larue an iconic film director and drag personality.

Sister Roma is known as an activist, fundraiser, icon and “The Most Photographed Nun In The World ™”. This year marked Sister Roma’s 30th year as one of the of most outspoken and highly visible members of the infamous Sisters Of Perpetual Indulgence in San Francisco, California. Sister Roma is recognized around the globe as an activist, fundraiser, public speaker, master of ceremonies and glamorous clown. Since taking her vows she has been on the front lines in the war against HIV and AIDS as an educator, activist and fundraiser helping to raise over $1 million for the LGBTQI global community. Sister Roma is the creator and advocate of the Sisters’ Stop The Violence Campaign. Most recently she gained international attention as the drag queen who took on Facebook and won. She created the #MyNameIs movement in protest of Facebook’s “Real Name Policy” fighting for the right of everyone to self-identify on the world’s largest social networking platform.

 

Sister Roma Porn Star Photo
Porn Star: Sister Roma

 

One of San Francisco’s most adored personalities, Roma was elected SF Pride Community Grand Marshal in 2012, SF’s Most Notable Drag Queen and Best of the Bay’s BEST ACTIVIST in 2016. Her colorful (and sometimes off-color) humor has found her serving as Master of Ceremonies on the main stages of SF Pride, Folsom Street Fair, Castro Street Fair, and Easter in the Park where she hosts the infamous Hunky Jesus Contest. Roma travels the U.S. speaking at rallies and hosting events from coast to coast. Internationally Roma has hosted events in Berlin, Vienna, Paris and was an honored guest of Pride in Shanghai, China, and Grand Marshal of Prague Pride in the Czech Republic.

For almost 20 years Sister Roma has worked in the adult industry and currently serves as Art Director for NakedSword/Falcon Studios Group. Her sharp wit and stunning beauty make her the perfect host of NakedSword’s Tim & Roma show, as well as a regular fixture hosting adult industry events and red carpets from the Cybersocket Awards and GAYVNs in Los Angeles to Chicago’s Grabby Awards.

Follow Roma on Facebook.com/SisterRoma, Twitter @SisterRoma, and Instagram @Sister_Roma. Learn more about the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence at thesisters.org.

Sister Roma’s live appearance is a great opportunity to get an autograph, take photographs, speak openly and ask questions. You can also venture around the Adult Lifestyle Centre to have a look at our large range of sex toys, sexual health and lifestyle products. If you need help, our Adult Lifestyle Centre consultants aim to find the best products to suit your needs, wants and desires. They stock everything from men’s masturbators, men’s sleeves, adult movies, prostate massagers, butt plugs, delay sprays, lubricants, vibrators and much more!

 

About the Author: Jennifer from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centre.

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Review: We-Vibe Wish

We-Vibe Wish Sex Toy

We-Vibe are famous for their couple’s sex toys and have once again delivered with an incredible personal massager named the “We-Vibe Wish“. The We-Vibe Wish comes in a sturdy, designed box with a picture of the vibrator on both sides. It has a list of We-Vibe’s sex toys featured on the back. The box could be used for storage of the sex toy if you didn’t mind it being obvious otherwise it comes with a white satin bag for safe keeping to keep it protected from rubbing up against all your other delightful orgasm pleasures.

The sex toy itself is a unique, deep sky blue colour which I absolutely adore. The blue is an uplifting colour. The We-Vibe Wish is made from silky, smooth, plush, 100% body safe silicone that is BPA and phthalate free. It has a very comfortable plushness that has a slightly squishy feel to it which is great especially when you are in the heat of the moment.

The We-Vibe Wish measures just over 10 centimetres in height and 6.5 centimetres in width. It is almost oval shaped with a slight pointed tip perfect for intense, pinpoint clitoris stimulation. It is a palm sized vibrator with a curve shape that fits snuggly in the hand. The body of the vibrator is wide for all over vulva stimulation. This is great because a woman’s vagina has countless nerve endings all throughout, with the clitoris being so much more than meets the eye. When placed over the vagina, the vibrations reach the inner and outer clitoral nerves which means deeper and more intense orgasms… this can only be a good thing right?!

 

We-Vibe Wish Sex Toy
Sex Toy: We-Vibe Wish

 

Speaking of vibrations, the We-Vibe Wish has 2 motors that feature new Powerpulse technology. Are you intrigued? We-Vibe describes this perfectly as “a new vibration sensation that feels like waves of pleasure.”. I can vouch for We-Vibe that the vibrations on this sex toy are powerful and extremely pleasurable. It’s a steady pulsing sensation that isn’t annoying like patterns on some other toys. It features 10 preset vibration modes with the ability to personalise your own modes. This is one of my favourite features of the Wish is that it can be linked with the We Vibe smartphone application. With the touch of your fingertips, a unique vibrating pattern can be created, tailored specifically to every individual. To top that off through the application, the sex toy can be controlled from anywhere in the world. It is a lifesaver for anyone who is in a long distance relationship or if your lover travels overseas on business trips.

The Wish is recharged with a USB magnetic charger which is strong and unlike some other brands, stays on very well. The USB charging cable will plug into any USB port or power adapter. Rechargeable toys are so much better for the environment compared to any battery powered toys! It takes 90 minutes to fully recharge than the Wish will have 2 hours of play time. The Wish will even tell you when the battery is low, a great feature to avoid experiences of anti-climax. Just think about being brought to the brink of orgasm then the battery runs out…not cool!!. Since there are no batteries rumbling around, it is a super, whisper quiet that is so perfect for those who live in a house with paper thin walls. Since it has a USB magnetic charger, this sex toy is 100% waterproof which makes clean up a breeze and you can have some pleasurable fun when you are having a relaxing bath at the end of your day.

We-Vibe’s sex toys range continue to grow starting with the famous We-Vibe Sync. They have since added to their collection with the Rave, Nova, Tango and Touch which are all amazing, high quality vibrators. The We-Vibe Wish is no exception and is now a personal favourite of mine. I will tell you one thing, the We-Vibe Wish is the latest and greatest creation in their line. This vibrator is going straight to the top of my very long wish list! The We-Vibe Wish is an amazing vibrator that will not disappoint. Like all of their other sex toys, the We-Vibe Wish also has 1 year warranty!

Come into one of the Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres to see for yourself what a great toy it is. You can also buy them from Adult Smart which is our online sex toy store that ships worldwide. All our packages have our PO box on them to keep thing’s discrete so no one will know about the contents your package.

 

About the Author: Stephanie is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

The Golden Shower Fetish

Golden Umbrella Shower Photo

Urophilia, more commonly known as urolagnia or colloquially as watersports or golden showers, is a well-known fetish for all things pee. It has come to the foreground recently due to a certain new world leader’s predilection for such practises. I am curious as to how common this particular fetish is, who does it and why.

Any fetish that has a technical name ending in ‘philia’ means it is in medical terms the opposite of a phobia, it is an intense love or admiration for something abnormal. This ‘philia is well known enough to have earned lots of nicknames. This isn’t just a love of pee though, it is specifically linked to sexual arousal. It takes a few more common themes. Usually wanting to wee on someone or wanting to be weed on, some just love watching people urinate or wet themselves. I had a boyfriend once who wanted me to wee when I had sex or while I orgasmed. (Some people think that this is actually what squirting is). There are even a few people out there that like to drink it .

It was surprisingly difficult to find much information out there about this considering It is something everyone knows about. It turns out it isn’t as commonly practiced as I thought. There have been a couple of studies done questioning cross sections of society on their sexual fantasies. And that one was further down the list than having sex with animals. It barely featured on any female radars at all. There was another study on what sexual practises people had watched and how excited it had made them. It turns out lots of guys have watched urolagnia in porn movies or seen it in magazines but in general had to possess that fetish already in order to find it arousing. It wasn’t seen in the same way as say a foot fetish, which a lot of guys found arousing even though it wasn’t really their thing.

The fact that the only studies around seem to be either case studies or surveys is testimony to the fact that it is very uncommon. There certainly doesn’t seem to be any large scale study on the subject. Because of that it is difficult to delve with into the whys and wherefores. It is the same as most sexual turn ons though I expect. There will be a whole bunch of psychological reasons or experiences or even genes that come together to make up a person with this interest. I see it most in the BDSM world. There is obviously something humiliating to most people about being pissed on and this play of power would definitely be a turn on for some. Being forced to drink a partner’s urine would be particularly debasing or dominating for the person doing it. You even buy urine gags, a gag with a silicone urinal attached, so you literally become a human toilet. The same aspects of humiliation or embarrassment are present when someone wets themselves. People with baby or nappy fetishes may love the physical and mental experience of really losing control.

 

Golden Shower Image
Image: Golden Shower

 

Other people, and I count my ex-boyfriend in this group, may just like the thrill of trying something different and dirty. In the state of sexual arousal we are often a bit more open to trying things that otherwise we might find a bit gross. There are also those out there who like to see any kind of fluid pour out of a sexual orifice.

There could be a million different reasons a person might be into this and a million different types of people with the interest. It isn’t a disorder unless it involves non-consent. The same can be said of all sexual practises not only the more unusual ones.

It used to be thought that urine was sterile and harmless, that is not actually true. It contains bacteria and unless you are with Bear Grylls on a survival mission, it shouldn’t be consumed in large amounts. Having said that though, it is much safer than blood or semen, and we don’t find it strange dealing with those fluids during sex. The thing that might make it a little more risky is that if it is showered it is a little difficult to control the destination and could potentially enter cuts etc.

It isn’t something that often gets mentioned even working in an adult store it is a fetish I haven’t had a conversation about. The whole Donald Trump thing, which in case you are living in a bubble has brought it to the fore front with #goldengate circulating Twitter. And everyone wanting to know the gory details about what happened. He apparently watched prostitutes perform a piss show, although before you picture some kind of Las Vegas hotel fountain, I think it may just have been a prostitute wetting herself on the bed but that would be equally as thrilling for some.  Who knows maybe the whole episode will bring Urolagnia out in the open enough for someone to do some proper research into the subject so that I could have more to say on the subject.

About the Author: Emily is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

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My First Lesbian Experience

Sexy Woman in Lingerie Photo

It was the first date and they were meeting at Likanya’s house.  Roxy ensured she had made herself gorgeous with her silky honey brown hair that fell straight above her firm butt. The crystal blue eyes suggesting a sultry and sexy demeanor are always capturing the attention of others. Their chatting on the net had led to some frank and open sex stories. Likanya had shared an encounter from the Sydney Mardi Gras. It was quite enthralling since the whole thing was about lesbian seductions and romantic issues.

Roxy was new in the LGBTQI community but was invited to the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras parade with Likanya to participate in the event that very night. She had dreamt of being a lesbian for many years but the dream to reality had not yet come to pass. When she had met with other lesbian friends, she felt strong impulses of sexual tension between her thighs but shied off from having lesbian sex.

Now they met, the discussion was all about sex with themselves. Roxy found Likanya with her Sri Lankin ebony smooth skin, big breasts and inviting lips the most beautiful woman she had ever met. They talked about themselves and how they played sex games on the internet. The discussion and games made them become more intimate. The conversation was turning Roxy on, all she could think of was tasting those sweet lips and tongue.

It was then that Likanya, the owner of the house, shared her lesbian dreams with Roxy.  Roxy listened to Likanya carefully with her jaws open and was amazed to realize the hidden dreams and fantasies were almost identical to hers. They both continued to admire each other and they began to watch movies together holding hands.

It was then that Likanya revealed that she had come into the house a few years ago to discover her girlfriend was watching lesbian porn DVD’s whilst wearing lace, lilac lingerie. Likanya said that is then that she discovered a passion for watching sex movies and that she was somewhat astonished how much they turned her on.

The two women in the movie they were watching were making love in the 69 position and Likanya began to squeeze her nipple while rubbing her private parts through her clothes with a finger. This immediate encounter made Likanya’s legs tremble as she dropped down her bag. She moved close and asked Roxy whether they should engage in what the two women were doing in the movie. The acts made Likanya burn like fire with lust and told Roxy that she was wet with desire between her legs. Roxy was also feeling it right down to the pit of her stomach and she wanted someone to make love to her for the very first time.

Roxy planted a kiss on Likanya’s lips and then began to lick those luscious lips forcing her tongue into Likanya’s mouth.  The carnal desire rose up between them and they kissed for many minutes passionately with the background moans of ecstasy coming from the movie in the background. She continued to kiss her on the face and neck. They both held hands and moved into the bathroom.

Roxy applied some Superslyde massage oil onto Likanya’s body and massaged it carefully. She then removed her bra and panty. She was amazed when she saw her private parts. Roxy was happy to see such an erotic body for her first time. They moved into the shower. The next question was whether Likanya liked her breasts. She fondled Likanya’s breasts.

They moved to the bedroom naked whilst the sounds of the hot lesbian DVD could still be heard in the background. It was initially quite romantic which made her keep kissing Likanya on the lips. Likanya began to move her body around spreading her legs, straddling Roxy on top and coming to the 69 position.  She began to move her wet and luscious pink pussy over Roxy’s face but Roxy was a bit shy and placed her hands over her face.  Her heart was beating a million times a minute or so it felt.

Likanya changed to a sex position where she moved Roxy’s hands away from her face and took her erect nipple into her mouth.  She sucked the puckering nipple and teasingly bit it.  Roxy could feel an orgasm building deep within her loins.  Likanya then moved down to her now throbbing cunt and began to like softly around her labia, then delicately sucking her clit and finally plunging her tongue deep into her pussy.  Roxy could hold on no longer and she climaxed over and over again squirting all over the bed and Likanya’s face.

Roxy then maneuverered Likanya’s pussy over her face and began to devour her juices and pussy. This made Likanya experience a beautiful feeling and felt as if not in this world.

 

Two Women kissing
Photo: Women Kissing at Party

 

Roxy then inserted the finger in Likanya’s dribbling cunt and continued to move it in and out for several minutes and as Likanya became more and more aroused Roxy inserted another and then another.  Within five minutes Roxy had her whole fist inside Likanya and was fist fucking her.  Likanya was shouting out “More, fuck me hard bitch”.  So Roxy was fist fucking her with fury.  Lukinya screamed, “Fuck my ass”.

Roxy was a bit taken aback by this request but in the throes of passion she grabbed the bottle of Superslyde and inserted the top into Likanya’s ass and delivered a generous squirt up her butt.  With her other hand still in Likanya’s throbbing pussy Roxy slowly and gently began to penetrate her other fist in and out of Likanya’s now gaping hole.  Likanya was making a noise like a wildcat and thrashing about and screaming ”harder, harder” and it was not long before Rosy was fist fucking her anally and vaginal fist fuck.

Likanya’s finally yelled one more time loudly and then began to uncontrollably squirt everywhere.  Roxy removed her fist from Linkanya and she was prized to see that gape remain open for her viewing pleasure and as she removed her fist from Likanya’s pussy they both collapsed onto the bed.

It was many minutes later that they both simultaneously began laughing and agreed that they could not resist the feelings they were having and revisited the erotic encounter multiple times that afternoon as they both squirted on each others faces, go down on each other and even Roxy tried a bit of fist fucking – but only vaginally.

As early evening began to approach both the women decided it was time to get ready in order to participate in the Sydney Mardi Gras parade. Now that Roxy had had her first real lesbian encounter she could not wait to experience more.

When they got there they joined the Dykes on Bikes group and it all began to run smoothly.  It was soon that Roxy saw all the lesbian encounters and hot sexual experiences during the parade and events. She learnt that lesbians could create erotic stimulation through using their mouths, lip, and tongue on the erogenous zones of their lover causing great sexual fulfillment through oral sex. She saw lesbians kissing, embracing, sweet talking, biting, breast stimulation and foreplay. She was excited for her future lesbian encounters.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maNkVXED-CA&t=140s

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