How Do You Know If Your Gay?

A question I’m sure most people have thought of or have considered at least once in their lives is “am I gay?” Or, “does this make me gay?”

Maybe you are, maybe you aren’t – unfortunately, there is no real checklist or online test that you can take that will give you an easy yes or no answer. Some people in their early teens feel inklings that they may be gay, and then later find that they’re not. Some people go years, get married, have children and then say “shit, I’m actually gay“. Some people come out of the womb blanketed in the rainbow flag singing *insert gayest song you can think of*. And that is the beauty of it. We’re all different!

So, there are straight people and there are gay people…or so we are told. If you prefer your sexual dilemmas served with a facebook analogy, let me tell you – “it’s complicated”.

I wish it were as black and white as that, but alas, ’tis not. You may find yourself uncomfortable with the word lesbian, or gay and to be truthful, I am too. Try not to force yourself into a box! Many people from the LGBT community prefer to be known as queer – a much broader term for those who do not want to umbrella themselves under gay, lesbian, cisgender or any other ‘label’ for that matter.
A great book I flicked through at the Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centre – Kogarah store one day was “The Gay Guide”. It goes through LGBT history, safe sex, STI’s and a whole bunch of other good, important stuff. What struck out most for me was the section on bisexuality. For the sake of not being able to paraphrase or rewrite in my own words without changing the meaning… here is the direct quote:
“We’re all essentially bisexual, we just repress the side we’re least comfortable with. We’re led to believe that sexuality is a one-way street. Of course, this is bullshit of the worst kind, but the media insist that the world is black and white, even though we know it is lived out in glorious colour” – Sigmund Freud. 
I could not have said it better myself.
To be truthful, I think there are grey areas for everybody. NO ONE is 100% anything and you’d be lying to yourself if you thought you were. Even the butchest of butch could swing for Justin Bieber, so don’t tell me you never thought that cute girl in PE wasn’t smokin.

But how do you know if you’re gay?

Here are a few things that could definitely mean you are…

  • Do you find yourself pointing at things with two fingers instead of one?
  • Is your hair is shorter than your brothers and you’re better at soccer than he is?
  • Do you constantly see rainbows?
  • Do you slut drop on the dancefloor as soon as a Beyonce banger comes on?
Im a homosexual Photo
Photo: Im a homosexual
Kidding!
The easiest way to differentiate between a fantasy and whether you’re actually gay is separating whether you’re only sexually/physically attracted to someone or whether you’re both sexually/physically and emotionally attracted to someone. Can you see yourself kissing them? Holding hands walking down the street with them? Or, unfortunately, putting up with shit from intolerant strangers for them?
Think about whether you’re emotionally attracted to that individual, then think about whether you’re sexually attracted to them.
Take stereotypes out of the question. Ignore my humorous list earlier. The way you look is not the tell tale on whether you are gay or not, despite what everyone tries to tell you. Take this for all stereotypes. Stereotypes are not an indication of your sexuality.
Get involved with the community.
If you’re still questioning your sexuality, it might be a good idea to involve yourself in the LGBT community! Gather some friends, or go by yourself, whatever you’re most comfortable with, and hit up some gay clubs. In the past two years, I’ve made some of my closest and dearest friends to date at queer events and I can honestly tell you I had never felt as much at home as I did the first night I walked into my first gay club.
Yas Queen Photo
Photo: Yas Queen
All I know is, there’s no harm in experimenting and trying things out to find out.
If you are queer, what’s stopping you?! We’ll welcome you with open arms! And if you’re not, well we’ll still love you anyway.

 

About the Author: Chloe is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Stephen is active in his fight for gender equality, same sex marriage, disabilities advocate and education. He is a prolific writer that has developed the content for informative adult websites. He is a teacher and also a youth counselor.
JOIN OUR NEWSLETTER
Join over 3,000 visitors who are receiving our newsletter and receive a FREE ebook on the Top 10 Sex Toys For 2017.
We hate spam. Your email address will not be sold or shared with anyone else.

One Reply to “How Do You Know If Your Gay?”

Leave a Reply