You hear that bondage play is all about exploring the tantalizing sensations of being restrained, which can lead to some seriously sexy scenarios. And when it comes to feeling like a damsel in distress, nothing quite does the trick like bondage play restraints.
With each buckle and knot, the excitement builds, leaving you feeling both helpless and exhilarated. Whether you’re a seasoned pro or just dipping your toes into the world of bondage, restraints are a must-have accessory for any kinky playtime.
So, why not let yourself indulge in the thrill of being bound and see where your imagination takes you?
After all, life is too short for vanilla sex.
Have You Ever Experimented with Bondage Play Restraints?
If you have answered ‘Yes’ you will probably be aware of what I am going to write below.
But if you have answered ‘No’ then I suggest you read on.
Adding BDSM Role Playing to an existing relationship can be the spark that gets a couple back on track and create a new found admiration or respect and trust in your partner.
For me, light subjugation is the most freeing and attractive type of BDSM role playing.
It doesn’t have to be about pain and heavy bondage.
But having my lover restrain me gently in comfortable cuffs gives me the feeling that I am ready to surrender absolute control with pre-set boundaries. This makes me simply feel sexually free and liberated with without stressing over anything.
I do not mind even adding a blindfold. Due to the sensory deprivation of sight allows my other senses to heighten and thereby not limit my experience giving me one hell of a ride.
Cuffs have to secured but not in a manner that they are too tight or give me discomfort in any way.
When we first started delving into the world of light bondage we used silk cuffs.
- One of the exciting things that I experience when being bound is the fact that I cannot touch my lover at all during the process.
- He totally takes control of the action and his soft touch against my vulnerable body sends sensual shivers up my spine each and every time.
- For me to put my total trust in him that he will treat me right and not abuse the total control I have given him
- Whilst relinquishing mine makes us a much stronger couple.
Since experiencing this bondage play we have become a team and there is very little that can come between us.
These experiences have special meaning to us, and like all games we have made the rules first.
For me the most important part of BDSM is making the rules.
The first and number on rule is to have a safe word.
A word that either of you say and it means stop – No if’s or buts!
Then the boundaries of your play should be set.
Safety and consent are priorities as well as pre and after care. It opens up a whole new world of loving and caring for each other.
Tips To Follow With Bondage Play Restraints
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Have your partner wear a set of wrist and ankle cuffs around the house when you’re not home.
A reminder of what’s in store when you do get home.
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Wear the cuffs discreetly as you go about your normal routine outside the house
Secret reminder of the things to come. This is particularly easy to do with ankle shackle cuffs, which can easily be concealed beneath clothing.
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Wearing a set of cuffs while you sleep
Giving your partner an invitation and an opportunity to restrain you during the night or in the morning.
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Going into your beau or spouse’s wardrobe and getting a few bow-ties out
Laying them on the bed and tie your partner up to see what it’s all about. Whether you enjoy just your hands or legs being restrained or both it is an experience that I certainly treasure and trust that you will too.
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Some couples will even swap roles
I guess like they did in 50 Shades. That one time the man can be the dominant, and the next time a switch of roles happens and the female is. There is a term for it and it is called a ‘Switch’.
Switching roles whilst in the middle of a scene or session is very rare. But it is very common between couples for switching to take place on separate sessions.
Planning For Your First Bondage Play Restraints Session
Before you begin your first session.
- Read and study everything you can on Bondage and BDSM.
- Find out what you want to do first.
- Take your time learning how to do it safely.
- Be careful of the type of attention you attract.
Going into unkown territory will make this all seem daunting and scary when that is not the purpose of it all. Remember not to go directly into “50 Shades of Gray” region for your first time.
That can be an exceptionally overwhelming circumstance even for the most sexually experienced.
Begin light. Work from that point.
Appreciate investigating and taking in you and your partners cut off points. This ultimately is about HAVING FUN and playing it SAFE!
Bondage wrist and ankle cuffs
Can be very attractive and they come in all types of material and styles. They can be in comfortable silicone, faux leather, rope, genuine leather, steel, silk and be welcoming or intimidating.
Most cuffs will have a locking mechanism to ensure that they stay closed and the ‘pet’ stays bound and restrained. Some have ‘D Rings’ or ‘O Rings’ that allow the restraints to be joined together.
A lead be attached or the sub be restrained to a pillar or some other securing station. There are many BDSM shops online and designers that sell a myriad of variations at reasonable pricing.
One of my favourite cuff sets is the ‘Ballsy Blue Leather Restraints’ made by the manufacturer Hell’s Couture.
I love these cuffs because they are supple enough to be worn comfortably but solid enough to keep me secured. All my life I have enjoyed colorful things and the vibrant blue color sets it apart from the standard Black or Red.
These cuffs are securely structured and after fastening them to the ankle and/or wrist and they can be attached to other objects via the O-ring attachments.
Secure rings can be attached to other bondage devices for the more adventurous like a hogtie set or a leg spreader. I find these are much safer and more comfortable that the option of using metal handcuffs or ankle shackles.
So if you want to be daring and explore your sexuality more I highly recommend adding restraints to your sexual lifestyle.
It’s All About The BDSM Collars in Bondage Play Restraints
With the rise in popularity in BDSM and wearable kink gear let’s talk about collars.
Collars are used for a variety of reasons in BDSM and play and it’s important to know the different meanings surrounding them. It is not unusual to pass a coworker who is wearing a subtle and discreet collar everyday and you might never know.
They aren’t exclusively used as a form of restraint, punishment or degradation.
Collars of consideration
Often used for new relationships, a form of ownership. Think of it like a stepping stone to a permanent collar between a dom/sub, master/slave etc. This training collar is as much for both parties to decide if this is the dynamic that they would each like to pursue.
Training Collar
These collars are worn when in a dynamic when a sub or slave is being trained in the dynamic, whilst still a form and a sign of ownership. It is up to the Dom/Master when the training is complete.
Protection Collar
A collar in any variant is a form of protection. The collared person is under protection of someone and etiquette should be followed accordingly.
This affords the wearer the ability to be left alone by single dominants unless they have the permission of the collar’s owner to approach.
It is the responsibility of the dominant or whoever is in charge of the collar and is significant and should also not be taken lightly. We will go into this further down.
Play Collars
There are two ways that a play collar can be used. In terms of dynamic, this is the most relaxed form of dynamic collars, but still not simply a collar for being restrained.
They are collars where dynamics are enforced and utilised during kinky scenes as soon as the collar is placed around the submissive’s neck. Helpful to prepare the mindset for the scene that is about to come.
When the collar is on, the wearer is the submissive. In the space of a submissive and respond to the person who placed it on them as such and respect them accordingly.
End of the Play Session
At the end of the play session, which doesn’t necessarily need to be sexual, the collar comes off. It is the sign that the dynamic has finished and the rules that applied for while the collar was on are now complete.
This form of training or boundaries can be good for people who need that added guidance, comfort, or security. Let me circle back for a second in case anyone was confused when I said play didn’t need to be sexual.
Play with a collar could be anything from sex, to impact or service such as waiting on a person, bringing them food or acts of service. But even, play could be going out on a date and following certain protocols and rules.
Limits are endless. It is whatever you and your play partner design, but they are your rules.
Other play collars are actual “play” collars. They might be the type that are used during play for playful reasons, for restraint, for tying up and leading around, for degradation and submission or pet play.
These can cross over into any of the other types of collar wearing and sometimes also be a stand alone. You can like being choked or led around on a collar without being a submissive.
24/7 collars
This brings me to our permanent collars. Our 24/7 collars that are worn all of the time. These are special collars indeed and can carry many different meanings to individual dynamics.
For some, a permanent collar is the equivalent of an engagement ring or a wedding ring and for some, it is ownership.
What it boils down to, is that it is a promise between two people that they take each other to be trusting of each other as a Dominant and a submissive. And to respect each other as thus and to follow the rules of their relationship.
Again, whatever that entails depending on their unique relationship.
Some dynamics might have contracts written up.
Many have collaring ceremonies and invite friends and family to witness placing the collar around the submissive’s neck. A permanent collar cannot be placed without both parties deciding and agreeing to it.
Because these collars are permanent, and never come off there are many different alternatives that people can pick these days.
Nowadays many people choose to wear collars that appear closer to necklaces so that they are able to wear them to the office or out in public daily without being noticed.
Some opt for the eternity collars that are fastened with an allen key. Others can get subtle BDSM collars custom fit to enjoy the best of both worlds.
Bondage Play Restraints – Collar Etiquette
A few things to know about someone’s collar.
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It is very disrespectful to touch a person’s collar without first gaining permission, and even then only if necessary.
Speak to their “Dominant first” as a show of respect. A person wearing a collar should not remove their collar without asking their “Dominant” first.
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Wearing collars can also be very fashionable.
We understand that it may be hard to know if someone is wearing one as a fashion choice or a protocol. If in doubt, ask them, or someone at the event.
But if the person who is wearing it doesn’t answer, that’s ok, they might not be allowed to answer. Please do not think they are being rude and press them. Move on. If their Dominant approaches, apologise and explain.
But we always suggest, asking the organiser of the event first when in doubt. They will be able to vet the situation better for you.
Collars are a beautiful and fun way to share connections and feelings within the BDSM scene.
Most collared individuals feel quite proud to be owned/collared by their dominants and see it as praise and an honour to be asked about their collars.
At Your Service,
Discover Tiffany’s journey! Sexologist, passionate writer, & educator exploring kink, sex, and pleasure. Enjoy her insightful reads on the Adultsmart blog!