When I tell people I work in an adult store, I am always slightly surprised by their reactions. Usually they look around to see if anyone is listening then begins the barrage of questions in hushed tones.
Oh My God, Wow! You work in a Sex Shop?
What is it like to work there?
Don’t you get tired of all the creepy wierdos?
And once they relax…Do you get to try stuff? That must be cool… I might pop in and see you.
All the newbies come in a little shy and are not sure what to expect and almost with out exception are overwhelmed with how “normal” it all is. Gone are the days of elderly men in raincoats, low lighting and darkened rooms…. I always get comments on how approachable the staff are and almost everyone is overwhelmed with the range of products we have and impressed by how unintimidating the atmosphere of the shop is. Yes, times have certainly changed, thank goodness.
Our job as sales consultants is to make the customer feel as at ease as possible. We try and rid them of unhelpful preconceptions, and basically welcome them into our magical world.
It is great that we have so much choice but to someone who has never been in an adult store before it is really helpful for them to have it all simplified for them. I always think sex is like food, it is not only necessary it can be intensely pleasurable. If you had never tasted chocolate, you simply wouldn’t have a taste for it. It is our job to present the customer with an easy to understand tasting menu of what is really available out there for carnal pleasure. There is nothing more satisfying than introducing customers to ideas and toys they would never have thought existed.
I have had many retail jobs in my time and although I have enjoyed them, I have often thought I was a bit of a money making machine for the company and my primary goal was to sell as much product for them as possible. The reward for me was the satisfaction of the results I achieved while at the same time maintaining customer satisfaction. I have found this job works inversely. My main goal is to satisfy the needs of the customer, the money makes itself. By establishing their needs I can help them discover things that can be truly life changing.
Now this will sound odd, but I have a couple of friends that work as carers or in the medical profession, and I often feel I have much more in common with them than I do with someone who works in a shoe store. We are very privileged to get to know such personal things about people. I may well spend half an hour helping someone who has recently had prostate surgery, by showing them a penis pump, a prostate massager and explaining how cock rings work. I have a regular customer who is 35. He had had a terrible child hood and had never been able to have sex. He now often comes in with friends to extol the virtues of our herbal version of Viagra and our sex drops. He tells me I have genuinely changed his life. It is great fun to show the younger guys what a masturbator is for. I love to see their eyes light up when you explain how a cock ring can make them cum harder and satisfy their partner at the same time. It is satisfying letting customers young and old feel a lube like superslyde when they have only ever improvised with products like baby oil.
The staff here are in a unique position of advising people on the most personal and intimate aspect of their lives. We are lucky enough to have time given to us to learn about everything to do with sex, love and relationships. Take a look around the blog and you would be hard pushed to find a subject not tackled or a toy not reviewed at least once by somebody. With all that knowledge comes responsibility. I have lost count of all the young couple s who come in with expectations that relationships are like the ones you see in 5 minute free porn clips online. Guys often come in with girlfriends wanting anal toys and numbing creams for the girl. How scary would that be for an inexperienced girl? I always try to get to the bottom of the motives. If it is just the guys idea, which it often is, I always try and persuade him to buy a prostate toy for himself too. That way he can experience the wonders of his own male g spot, and at the same time sympathise better with what his girl will be experiencing. For her, the experience becomes a mutual exploration of each other’s bodies. Not just an anal invasion by a boyfriend she feels she has to impress. Instead of a cream to make her feel less of the sensation, why not buy enough some superslyde lubricant or non numbing anal lube from Pjur to help her relax into it.
Some customers are just plain curious to see what secrets lie inside these stores that you have to climb stairs to reach (although our Kogarah store is at street level for wheel chair access) They might even just want to come in and take pictures of the blow up dolls and giant dongs to show their friends.
From a very young age we are conditioned to think of sex as something naughty and taboo. Our kids find anything they are told not to talk about in public completely fascinating…whether it be farts, bums, boobs, poos or SEX. We carry those feelings into old age. It is great fun to watch a customer open up and embrace the world of what we have to offer and start asking the questions that they haven’t felt able to before.
The rewards for what we do are amazing. My favourite story is of a lovely guy who came in and wanted to buy a present for a girl he was trying to woo in Hawaii. They had met in Australia and really got on. She was splitting up from her husband. She had had a mastectomy and felt this was the reason he was leaving her. Mr nice had also split from his wife who had run off leaving him with their 5 children. He was going over to see her In Hawaii and his intentions, although not entirely honourable, were that he wanted her to see herself as the sexy person he thought she was. (lets face it we all like it when someone’s intentions aren’t totally honourable) He was going to buy her some lingerie, but I suggested he bought diamante nipple tassels instead. He was unsure, but bit the bullet and did it anyway. A few weeks later he was back to thank me, she had cried with happiness. She planned to come over and meet his kids. Since then they have maintained a long distance relationship. I was able to suggest getting a We-vibe so they could maintain sexual relations while so far apart ….and the last I heard was that she was going to come live over permanently.
There are numerous other stories too, the guy in his 80’s I sold lube and a stroker too after his wife had passed away and he had moved into an old people’s home. He came back to tell me he couldn’t believe such amazing things existed!
Honestly, some days I leave work feeling like I am saving the world one dildo at a time, well perhaps that is a bit of an exaggeration but it is a great place to work and visit. The shop isn’t full of “creepy wierdos” at all. It is mostly people like you and me who just want to have fun.
About the author: Emily is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres
Jennifer is a marketer at Adultsmart! Embracing a non-judgmental stance, she believes in pleasure without limits—if it feels good and right, why not?
I can practice sex skills here?